"What are we watching?" Eleanor asked as she walked in, a big bowl of popcorn in her hands. It wasn't just popcorn though--I figured that out when I noticed the mix of small red and green pebbles--there were also skittles.

Eleanor's parents had left for their date over an hour ago, leaving after a full-blown lecture of things to do and what not. Half of those things still remained undone. Luckily, the feeding of the Davis' cat was not included in the list.

Eleanor lowered herself to the floor and turned to me with a grin. "Say something."

I sat there, trying to figure out what she was up to. While her face clearly showed there was mischief running around in her head--probably as an elf wearing tights and a Christmas hat--I couldn't find any other reason to be concerned.

"Somethi--"

I was cut short when she pushed a handful of popcorn and skittles into my mouth.

"It's good, yeah?" she asked.

I responded with a nod, and I tried to even out the food in my mouth so I didn't accidentally choke on anything.

"You guys still haven't chosen a movie yet?" Killian asked.

"I don't know..." I mumbled, chewing on the snacks Eleanor had popped into my mouth.

"Home Alone. It's a classic," Jacob suggested. He lay on the couch, one hand lazily running through his curls while the other held his phone. He had been in that position for quite a while.

"Jingle Jangle is a better option," Eleanor said, casting a glance at him. Her hand went up to push his leg, which crept a little too close to her head, away. "It's new."

"Don't you dare disrespect Kevin McAllister that way." The glare from Jacob was more intimidating than the words he uttered, even so with how he sat up and leaned down so his head was at level with our shoulders. He returned to his previous position, and wiggled his sock-covered toes so they poked Eleanor.

She shoved him, he kicked her back. She hit him, he kicked harder. Eleanor's hair spilled out of the makeshift bun she had put it into, cascading down her shoulders. She started to lift herself off the ground, raising a fist.

Killian spoke up, interrupting the slowly escalating back and forth between his twin and sister. "You both are hella wrong. Everyone knows the Grinch surpasses every holiday movie, ever. There's not even an argument." Killian shrugged before letting himself fall into the couch next to Jacob's.

"Shut up," Eleanor said as she threw an unpopped kernel at Killian.

"You just can't handle the truth, can you?" Flicking the kernel out of his shirt, Killian leaned back. "I mean, there's that cartoon short, and the movie. Plus, the recent one they made is also there so... both old and new. Cinematic masterpieces, all of them."

"Okay, let's settle this," Jacob moved too quickly, making his phone slip through his hand and hit him on the face. He picked it up with a groan and placed it on the hand of the couch where it was in a very compromising position. "Since you all have options and Alicia hasn't picked one yet, why don't we let her have the final decision."

"Yes," Eleanor agreed.

"That's fine," Killian also responded.

Now that I was the one who held all the power, I thought through my options well before deciding. "Well then, let's watch--" I began.

"The Grinch had a reindeer-dog. Tell me you don't find that fucking cute." Killian pouted.

"I think we should go with--"

"Jingle Jangle has magic. Magic! Don't you think that's awesome, Alicia?" Eleanor urged.

"Well, yeah," I replied, before quietly adding, "but I prefer Home Alone."

"Yes!" Eleanor did a goofy dance before realizing I went with Jacob's option. Her eyes widened and her waving hands dropped. "Wait..."

"I knew you had good taste," Jacob bent to give me a hug from the side. The curly-haired blond pressed a kiss on the back of my hand and under his breath, said, "You have my heart," then reached for the remote as he stuffed his cheeks with popcorn.

"Suck up," Killian mumbled.

Jacob's words were muffled because of the food in his mouth. "You're just jealous because she didn't pick your movie." He poked Eleanor with his toes when he added, "You and this one here."

After stocking up on more snacks and refilling the bowl of popcorn which was emptied before the movie started, all of us settled down--except for Killian, who said he had an urgent phone call to make. Shortly after he left, Mr. and Mrs. Davis arrived home, both looking their happiest even though they seemed exhausted.

Jacob switched off the lights just as the '20th Century Fox' intro started, and I felt a small smile climb up my face. I wasn't overly excited to watch the movie--I had seen it too many times than was normal. But that was the point.

All the times I had watched and rewatched this movie, I had been with my family. We always complained of it being aired on various channels every Christmas, yet, we kept on watching Kevin pull stunts which were bound to cause trouble. We kept on complaining when someone spoke out during the showing and gave spoilers, even though we could recite some of the lines by heart if you asked. It could have be in the middle of July, it could have been when a heavy rainstorm passed, it could have been as we watched scurrying people harvest the rainwater into giant barrels--it didn't really matter--someone would yell out 'Merry Christmas ya filthy animal' as soon as someone mentioned 'Kevin' or 'Harry' or 'Marv.' Someone would laugh out too loud and someone would get told off by our mother.

'Merry Christmas ya filthy animal.' Today, that someone is Eleanor.

Instead of all those memories making me feel better, my spirit dropped heavier than the pregnant drops of rain that showered over my thoughts. I kept wondering whether they felt my absence, whether everything felt the same, or even better, without me around. I hadn't heard from my family since they dropped the bomb that I had to stay.

"You know something?" Jacob piped up. "All this while I've been thinking about how this kid could have called the police and ended everything. Like, he even ordered that pizza and stuff. But no." Sarcasm dripped from his tone now. "That kid was out to get them. He wanted war. He wanted them dead."

"I guess they were like you, if he didn't want to see them survive that much," Eleanor murmured as she sipped from a glass of juice she got. A quarter of it spilled onto her pyjamas when Jacob kicked her as pay back for what she said.

They argued, but she eventually stood up to put away the glass and change out of the stained clothes. She returned in a vibrant yellow onesie which made Jacob snort and in turn, elicited a laugh from me.

Ignoring both of us, Eleanor sat down with her eyes glued to the screen.

Even the way they bickered reminded me of my own siblings. We only got along approximately... an hour a week. After I left for college though, all the times we had spoken on the phone involved only good things and subtle messages which meant to be 'I miss you' but somehow came out as 'There's so much more air at home now that you're not taking up all the space.' Affection wasn't something my family was big on, but we understood each other, and that was enough.

"Can we try another movie?" Eleanor said, derailing my train of thought.

I looked up at the screen to meet Kevin's mom hugging him. The movie was ending already.

"Sure... he's asleep anyway." I nodded at Jacob who had curled himself into a ball. His lips were slightly parted and drool slid from his mouth onto the back of his hand.

"Such a charming prince, don't you think?"

I laughed.

Eleanor found another movie soon enough, and even though I was tired and it hurt to keep my eyes open now, I wanted to watch it too. It was new and it featured Kristen Stewart, Happiest Season, I think it was called. I didn't realize it was a queer movie until a few minutes in. I had no problem watching it though, a gripping plot and heart-wrenching scenes were what I needed to fill the black hole of my soul this season.

But even with that, I found myself lost in the movie a couple of times because of how much I dozed off.

It seemed Eleanor was having an even harder time staying awake. Her head gradually found its way to my shoulder as her hand pointed the remote at the screen to check how much more of the movie we had to sit through. Forty more minutes. And it was 11:52pm.

"What's happening now?" Eleanor whispered.

"This girl's family is being bitchy."

She nodded slowly, her cheek rubbing my shoulder.

More time passed and Eleanor, this time around, was the one who broke me out of my semi-daze. "And what's happening now?" She rubbed her nose.

"They're... kissing," I said as my eyes lifted to the screen.

"Oh okay," Eleanor responded. There was a pause. "Can we--can we do it too?"

I had to hold back the strangled noise that rose up my throat. I had to stop myself from turning or shifting or breathing. Time stopped even though it was moving, unnoticed but still very much in motion, like the hushed voices of Aubrey Plaza and Kristen Stewart.

For a long moment, I forgot to answer. Whatever chaotic thoughts flew through my head were far too jumbled to make into words. I didn't know if I wanted to kiss Eleanor, because I had never thought about it. Things like that weren't even supposed to be considered because she was a girl and I was a girl and my society frowned upon it. It shouldn't be something I should have contemplated for this long. Sure, I was watching a movie where that very act had just been done, but it was a movie. Real life felt very different, movies didn't convey the awkwardness and tension that ran between Eleanor and I even half as good.

My throat felt dry when I finally forced out a couple of words. "We can't," I said with a shake of my head.

"Pretty please." He eyelashes fluttered as she blinked rapidly, hardly able to keep her head from lolling forward too much.

Now it physically pained me to hear her talk. She could have just left things where they were, let the tension and awkwardness dwindle even.

Again, I had to put her down. "No... but with a tiny red heart."

"You're funny." A giggle followed a yawn.

"You're tired."

"You too."

"Guess we should go to bed."

She lifted her head, taking a moment to make sure her eyes were wide open before she stood to get sleeping bags.

I helped lay them down while she turned off the TV and cleared out the space in front of it.

I slipped into one of the bags, letting my eyes fall shut even though sleep was nowhere near me now.

Eleanor asked if she could kiss me. I denied. She asked again. I denied again.

I was going to overthink this, I just knew it. Years from now, from wherever I might be or whoever I might become, whether I remain who I am or not, I know I would think of this very moment. The memory would probably be altered like the images of my family in my mind, but I know I could never mishear Eleanor's voice ask me that question in a whisper.

I know I would remember, that during one Christmas, the first away from everything I knew, a long haired girl in a minion onesie slept a distance away from me. I would remember how much I liked her company and how much she liked mine, even when she was knocked out and lost to the world.

And I would remember-- so vividly, so damn well-- I would remember the kiss I pressed to her forehead before I myself was lost to the world.

~~

So... that happened hehe. Let me know your thoughts!

Also, vote if you didn't expect Alicia's reaction. Vote if you didn't expect Eleanor to pop the question.

Till the next chapter. Toodles ♡♡