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Chapter Thirty-two

Maria froze. Those words were not good words to hear. Did she do something wrong? Say something wrong? Rolling off him, she grabbed the blanket off the floor and wrapped it around herself. "What's wrong?"

"It's not so much that something is wrong, but there is something we haven't really discussed."

"Good or bad?"

"Depends on how you look at it."

She pulled the blanket tightly around her, unsure of where the discussion was going. His eyes made her nervous. They were guarded, but she could see the fear behind them.

"Well, you know that we've been having sex, right," he said.

"I think that's what they call it, yes," she remarked with a cheeky grin.

"Smartass woman," he said, chuckling nervously.

What was making him anxious? Was he going to say that she sucked in the sack? She thought she did pretty good according to his response to her. Maybe he wanted to bring in a third person, like he did with Felicity and Julie. Oh gosh, did he want to have a threesome?

"Is this to do with our contract?" She asked.

"In a way. We've been forgetting one of the clauses."

"Which one would that be," she asked hesitantly.

"Protection."

"From?"

"Kids."

"I'm not following." She felt really stupid that she wasn't following his line of thought, but he was talking so cryptically. Either that or her brain was still in drunken orgasmic overdrive.

"We haven't been using protection."

"Oh." Maria looked down at her toes peeking out of the blanket, giving them a little wiggle as she struggled to digest his words. Her world was in such an uproar that getting on birth control was the last thing on her mind. It should have been the first. She should have gone to the doctor the moment she met him.

Her period was supposed to be starting any day now, at least, she thought so. Lifting her hand, she counted how long it's been since her last period and frowned. She should be starting it any day now, if not even already, but she hasn't.

"Holy shit," she said and then slapped her hands over her filthy mouth. "Oh gosh. I couldn't be. Could I?"

Standing up quickly, she spun in a circle, slightly dizzy and lightheaded. Where'd she put her phone? She had to check her period app. She wanted kids, but didn't want them now. She thought marriage first and be secure in their finances before they even had the kid discussion.

Leaving Sylvester sitting on the couch, she made a mad dash down the hall and into the bedroom where she'd left her clothes. Searching all her pockets, she tried to find her phone, but it was nowhere to be found.

"Where's my purse?" she yelled to Caleb.

Moments later, he strolled into the room carrying her purse. She dumped out all the contents onto the bed, but her phone didn't join them. Maria fell back on the bed and threw her arm over her eyes, groaning.

"I'm so dead."

"I just want you to know that if you are, I'm okay with it," he said quickly.

Maria rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow, studying him. "If you are, then why do you look so afraid?"

"I'm afraid that you'll do something you can't undo."

That really had her attention now. "Like what?"

He opened his mouth as if to speak and then closed it, repeating that motion about three more times, leaving her frustrated. "Like what?" she asked again.

Staring down at the floor, he smoothed the carpet back and forth with his toes. "Do what people normally do when they don't want a kid."

"You mean get an abortion?"

Caleb shrugged his shoulders, shoving his hands into his pockets, refusing to look at her. Did he really think she was capable of something like that? Obviously he did, which meant he didn't know her at all. Her bosom burned with anger and sadness. Did he really think so little of her?

Standing up, she shoved the contents on the bed back inside her purse, swallowing the cry bubbling up inside her. "I can't believe you think I'd do something like that," she said, unable to hide the hurt from her voice.

Grabbing her clothes, she stormed out of the room, locking herself in the bathroom. She needed a shower, needed the heat of the water against her skin, it always helped her draw herself out of the maze of her own thoughts. Right now, she felt like a small mouse in a large maze with an unknown prize at the end.

As she was stepping in the shower, she heard the door knob turn, but she'd locked the door. How could he even think that she'd do something like that? She didn't want kids at the moment, but if that happened, then so be it. She'd accept whichever way the bottle spun because that's how you handle life. You deal with it. You do the right thing.

Standing in the shower, Maria looked down at her flat belly, placing a shaky hand on it. Could there be a baby in there? It was hard to imagine, but the possibility couldn't be denied. She needed to find her phone and see how close she was to her period, and then if it was time, she'd have to take a test.

The idea scared her and Caleb accusations angered her, yet the thought of having a baby, his baby, filled her with a strange giddiness. How could she feel so many different emotions all at once?

"Oh gosh," Maria leaned her back against the shower wall and slid down until she was sitting in the tub, letting the water splash on her legs. Life certainly did take weird twists in her world. Should she make a doctor's appointment? Should she take a home test?

She didn't feel out of the ordinary. Weren't you supposed to feel different if you were pregnant? Like nausea, sore breasts. Hers weren't any different. Nothing was different. She glanced down at her boobs. Wait. Now that she was thinking about it, were her areolas always that dark?

Quickly finishing her shower, she stepped out and turned on the heat lamp, adding some extra light and she stared at herself in the mirror and then looked down at her breasts. "Get a grip, Maria. Your body looks normal."

A knock at the door made her jump. "Maria?" Caleb called. "Can I come in?"

"I'll be out in a minute," she snapped. Her anger at his accusations was renewed when she heard his voice. A few minutes later, she opened the door and found him leaning against the wall, his thumbs hooked in his belt buckle and a sheepish expression on his face.

She crossed her arms and glared at him. "Can I help you?"

"I just wanted to say sorry. I wasn't saying you would, it's just that a lot of women would in your situation."

"Why was that the first thought that came to your mind?"

Caleb squeezed his eyes closed for a moment, as though he were fighting with something. Once he opened his eyes, he took a step towards her, grabbing her hand. "Sit with me," he pleaded.

Maria nodded and followed him back to the living room, joining him on the couch. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. She stayed quiet, waiting for him to speak.

"This is hard for me to talk about, but I feel like I owe you an explanation," he said sadly, raising his head. "A number of years ago, I met a woman named Karen. Fell in love with her or at least what I thought was love at the time."

"Was she a sub?"

"Yes and no. Our relationship was somewhat complicated by my desires. She tried it, hated it, but kept doing it for my sake to make me happy. Of course, I didn't realize that until it became the focal point of our break-up."

"She broke up with you because of it?"

"I wish it were that straight forward. I thought things were going well. I loved her, even wanted to marry her. A few years after we got together, she got pregnant, and well..." he said, his voice breaking as he gestured towards her belly.

The implications of what he left unspoken didn't go unnoticed by Maria. "She got an abortion, didn't she?"

"Y—" he tried to say the word, but a strangled cry came out from his lips instead. "I wanted the baby, damn it."

"Oh Caleb. I'm so sorry," Maria took him in her arms, rocking him as she would a child, letting him release all the pent up hurt that he'd locked inside himself all these years. She couldn't be mad at him for assuming she would, not after that. "If I'm pregnant, I won't hurt our baby. I promise you that."

"Please. I couldn't handle it a second time." The agony with which he spoke those words tore at her heart.

Maria took his face in her hands, making him lock eyes with her. "Do you trust me?"

"Aren't I supposed to be asking you that?"

"I trusted you from the moment we got trapped in the elevator. Now it is time for you to trust me, Caleb Sylvester Jackson."

"You already have the mommy spirit in you don't you," he commented as the first hesitant grin since their conversation started spread across his face. In a flash he was on his feet, saying, "Be right back."

Maria waited patiently on the couch, listening intently for his footsteps to reverberate down the hall. She didn't have to wait long. When he stepped back into the living room, it was like she was looking at a man reborn.

He stopped in front of her and got down on one knee, a small jewelry box resting in his hand, his fingers curling around it. "I know this is kind of a moot point since I've already asked to marry you and you said yes, but after tonight, I want to make it official." Caleb opened the box and on the top was an antique rose floral ring with an oval shaped diamond imbedded on the top. Smaller diamonds littered the sides.

"Caleb, it's beautiful."

"I know this is going to sound corny, but I'm going to say it anyway...not as beautiful as you."

"You're right, that is corny," she said laughing as he slid the ring onto her finger. "But it's my kind of corny."

"And you're my kinda woman," he replied, laying her back on the couch, bringing himself to rest on top of her. "Do you want me to use something?"

"Might as well get started on our future right now."

"Good, because I really hate rubbers."

"You do, do you? I guess I'll know what to make you use when we roleplay with me as the dom," she said grinning.

"Who says I'm going to let you be the dom?"

"Fight you for it."

Caleb studied her. He was probably wondering if he could beat her in a fight. "Just how did you get away today? You never did tell me."

"That's my secret."

"Did I agree to marry a ninja warrior?"

She gave him a sly grin. "Maybe."

"Uh oh, I'm in trouble then."

"Only if you misbehave."

Caleb laughed and shook his head. "It's always the quiet ones that surprise you."

"Are you going to talk all night or are you going to kiss me already?"

"Already demanding. I think I like it," he said, giving her his lopsided grin.

Reaching up, she brought his lips down to hers, claiming them as hers. She liked this side of him. The fun-loving, sexy man that rocked her world from the moment they met. How could they have gotten so close in such a short amount of time? When she found the body, her first instinct was to call him. Not the police, not security...him. That's when she knew that she was lost in love.

Hopefully their families would see the same, and the rest of their life together would be peaceful, but she had a feeling that something was still looming over their horizon. She didn't know why or what, but there was a piece of her spirit that wasn't quite able to believe that this was the happily ever after she had always hoped for. The one that marked the end of the typical romance story.

When Caleb's tongue swept into her mouth and his hand went between her thighs, all worrisome thoughts disappeared and she allowed herself to be drawn into the moment. She wasn't going to let anything ruin the moment, ruin her happily ever after story.

"Get inside me now," she demanded.

"Happy to oblige."

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