Eleutherophobia: the fear of freedom

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"Yeah'you should smile often" jungkook said breaking the tensed situation

"Excuse me" Y/n excused herself and stood up walking taking her food tray

"What happened?" Jungkook asked from meeshi

"I don't know wait uh I have to go" meeshi said also walking after her

"Hyung?" Jungkook asked seeing hoseok looking at the direction she just walked

"Hyung??" He said waving his hand infornt of him

"H-huh yea?'kookie I think I made a mistake" he said in one go

"What?" Jungkook said calmly looking again back to where the girls go

"I shouldn't have said it?" Hoseok said most likely questioning himself

"Ah hyung it's okay I think she's just reserved" he said assuring hoseok

"Are you sure?" Hoseok said

"Yea yea don't worry why are you tensing so much you haven't done anything wrong" jungkook said

"Okay let's finish up" jungkook said taking a bite again

"Hmm" hoseok said

Y/n's p.o.v

I don't know what gotten into me till this day no one has ever said something to me like this I felt a little uneasy I didn't knew what to do so I just stood up and excused myself walking out of the cafeteria

"Y/n!!" Meeshi called out

I kept on walking

"What happened?" She said now stopping me by keeping a hand on my shoulder

"Nothing" i answered

"Why you just came here then?" She asked

"Lunch time is over" i replied

"But still you could've tell me" she said

"Are you coming?" I asked her

"Yup'first let's go to restroom" she said on which I nodded we walked to women restrooms

As she bowed to some of the employees on their way

We went in after a minute or so she came out washing her hands when she turned off the tap the door opened again

We were about to leave but someone held my shoulder harshly

"You girls aren't so much into Jungkook and hoseok?" I look and it was Sunmi and some other girl with her

"And why you think so" meeshi said facing her she let go of my shoulder

"Well if you two friends are whoring around let me tell you they are noble men" the other girl said

"Meeshi let's go" I said Tugging her arm

"Well I don't know what you both are talking about but isn't it clear who's whoring around the whole company here?" Meeshi said snapping her back

"Mind your language little girl" Sunmi said

"Sunbae we are sorry we should go now" i said holding onto meeshi's arm

"What the heck y/n'what does she think she is?" Meeshi said now walking beside Y/n

"Just don't reply them" i said

"Hell what dude" meeshi said annoyed

They both walked back to their department as no one exchanged any words

I got seated on my seat and resumed from where I left
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I sighed hard looking at the window again

Everything is so clear all the clouds were swaying in a calm pattern

I wonder if I can just escape from all these
I can't do anything on my own every single day and night isn't easy for me if I ever get a chance to choose death over life I will be gladly accepting death

Then the thought of last night came into my mind again I stared at my hands the glimpses of blood I remembered were now haunting my mind I sighed hard and stood up as my throat felt dry I stood up

"going somewhere?" Namjoon asked

"Yes" she replied simply

"Okay" he said

and I started to walk to cafeteria because I thought some fizzy drink can snap me out of these thoughts

Hosoek's p.o.v

"Why does she behaved like that?" Hoseok thought while working on his laptop

"Is she really okay?""I should ask meeshi about her yesterday's arm bleed too" he thought

He completed his work there wasn't much he have to do because mostly of the project was left for gaming department now

After an hour or so he was done so he stood up stretching himself as he was about to go to third floor

"Hobi" one of his colleagues called him

"Yes" he replied

"Are you free" she asked

"Uh umm" he have to go but being the helpy self he is "yes do you want something?" He answered

"Can you help me with this I have done most of it but here" she pointed out "the colours are a bit out of course" she said

"Ohh it's okay let me see" he said as she stood up
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"Here" he said standing up

"Oh thankyou so much hobi" she replied happily

"It's okay"he passed his heart smile and started to walk out of the department

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Meeshi p.o.v

I was doing my work when I saw y/n looking out of the window she was staring blankly
Something is really off she's looking so lifeless these days she was reserved back then but now something is really bothering her I should ask her she looks so pale too I wonder if uncle and aunt knows about her condition
She should discuss with me what's bothering her

I started doing my work again

"Meeshi" someone called out I looked back to see it's jungkook

"Uh yes" I said standing up

"We have meeting tomorrow with the whole company so be prepared you and y/n will be represented as new employee of our department" he said "Y/n once attended it on the day she joined"

"Oh sure I'll do my best" I said with a little nod

"That's the spirit I wanna see" he commented on which I blushed a little

"Thankyou" I thanked him

He turned on his heels and I was about to sit back when he turned again causing me to get unbalanced

"Oh uhh I am sorry" he said holding my arm to give me support to stand up

Now I was blushing like crazy I don't know if my cheeks were crimson red by now

"Oh uhh it okay" I said straightening myself

He scratched the back of his neck

"D-do you want something" she said with a little stutter

"Yeah umm hoseok hyung" he looked in the direction of y/n "is she okay? Did she mind about what happened at lunch?" He asked referring to y/n

"Oh about that" meeshi said " no it's really fine she's just a little reserved it's okay and yeah I am sorry if you guys didn't like it" she said in apologetic tone

"Uhh no no no I was just asking hyung thought that she didn't like it" he explained smiling his bunny teeth showing

"It's fine" meeshi replied smiling

"Okay then I should go" jungkook said as he walked to opposite direction of his office

"Jungkook" meeshi called out

"U-uh huh?" He said turning towards her

"Your office is that way" she said pointing to the direction.

"Oh huh right yea it's that way" he said smiling shyly and walked to that side

I internally laughed at it like how the hell that hot , handsome, perfect boy I once had a crush on can be this cute

I was now in my dreamland as I was doing my work
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Namjoon was coming back from the department's small kitchen with a coffee in his hands when he caught a glimpse of meeshi's work

"What are you doing meeshi???" Namjoon said causing me to flinch "what what what" I said looking at my laptop screen

The whole worksheet was ruined what the hell I was typing in each box

"Where were you?" Namjoon said again

"Uh I am sorry but thanks I will fix it up" I said nervously

"Hmm but do you even know how to fix it up I mean it's all ruined up jungkook would be really angry if you won't submit it at the exact date" he said sipping onto his coffee

"What should I do now" she said

"Let me see" he said seeing the screen

"Here"she tilted it to him

"Now it's good just start with this sheet again" he said tilting the laptop back to her

"Ohh thankyou so much" meeshi thanked her

"No problem" he said smiling with his dimples

"Hey you know where's y/n?" He asked her

"She's there" she said looking at her seat "oh she was there"

"She said she was going somewhere" namjoon said "but it's longer then I expected I have to discuss some points with her"

"Oh wait I should call her" she said taking her phone

"Her phone is on her desk" he said sipping onto his coffee

"Umm she would be here can you wait if it's okay" meeshi said

"Hmm okay you can continue" namjoon said walking back to his chair

Hoseok's p.o.v

I was about to enter their department when I saw her walking out

I waved at her but she just passed me like their was nobody I thought for a second if I should ask meeshi or y/n directly then I decide to follow her

She walked towards the stairs i think she is going down she stopped at the last stair then she looked up and started to walk upstairs I got confused

Y/n's p.o.v

I walked downstairs but then I felt no longer thirsty so I started to walk back upstairs but instead of going to my department I continued to climb up

I opened a door and it was the roof of the company once I looked at it out of my consent my legs started to take me forward

My mind wasn't responding to my extincts
I walked and walked straight but then right when I was at the edge someone pulled me harshly causing me to snap out what i was doing

"Are you insane!" Someone yelled but I was still can't get over my Eleutherophobia

Hoseok's p.o.v

I followed her upstairs but then my heart sank down she was walking straight to the edge the same scene got reminded on my mind as my breathe hitched, eyes widened and hands become cold but before my brain can process something I ran and pulled her down harshly

Still panting hard I hugged her tightly out of my own consent

"Are you insane" I yelled at her my heart was beating so fast that I can feel it in my throat

Y/n's p.o.v

Once my vision got adjusted to my surroundings the first thing was that two pair of arms were wrapped around me as I felt a thumping sound

I backed off quickly and looked at the person turn out it was that hoseok guy

"What were you thinking you were doing" he shouted causing me to flinch

I looked to my sides and then I realised I came to the roof

"I am sorry" I turned back biting up my lower lip realising it was again my chance to be dead just like eight years back

Flashback

The moment I opened my eyes ,a sharp light welcomed me after a few seconds my vision got adjusted to the lights I looked to my sides and found myself on a hospital bed

My whole body was covered with different wires,tubes and castes as my head was aching painfully ,I tried to move my fingers but they were bandaged too

Different needles were attached to my left hand following with tubes to drip stand I was stickened to bed

"Are you okay" mother came in the room following by dad

But I can't speak because of the caste I was wearing on my neck tears started to escape as she looked at me while dad was holding her

"Why did you do this!!" She yelled crying and I was shocked at her

"Me I haven't done anything" the words I wanted to tell them but I couldn't

"We are disappointed y/n" father said before taking mother out of the room

I wanted to tell them it wasn't me I want them here with me but what they did they are blaming me for my condition now the awful condition I was in

After that day it's been days I haven't seen them it was more likely that I was a orphan
Everyday I was greeted by different doctors and nurses but not even a single sight of them it was this day I got these much fears

It's been a week now they haven't came but today I was getting my castes off at least from my neck then the first thing I asked doctor was

"What happened to me" i asked him and he was quite shocked

"You don't remember?" He asked "your name do you remember?" He asked me again

" I do" "the thing I didn't remember was how I came here I only remembered going to college" I explained

"You were brought here in a really bad condition .. your ribs were broken.. you had different bruises on your body too" he paused ".. and your college reported that you tried to commit suicide from the roof" he completed looking at me with concerning eyes

"Where's mom dad?" I asked him

"We contacted your father again today he said he will pick you up tomorrow" he said with pityful eyes "your mother visited four days back and she left this note" he said handing the paper piece

"Y/n we are paying for the bills and everything when you will be back make sure to continue with your studies and everything I will consider all this incident as your mistake so don't need to be guilty we already have handled everything at college too I know it's just an accident you slipped from there we will talk about it later "

So they don't even care if I die or I am alive

"Is something bothering you?" He asked again "are your parents good with you? Those injuries they are not common"

"Yes they are really caring there's nothing to worry" I replied still looking at the paper note as I squeezed my palms

"Then take rest you will be discharged tomorrow you are really lucky to survive from this much injuries I am proud of you" he said before going out closing the door

Just as he closed the floor tears bursted out I cried hugging my own self they will never understand what's going on

Those girls they will continue doing this to others too
The fact they bullied me this badly and then pushed me off the roof the fact I was too weak to even fight them back it's been more then a year with all this suffering

I just want to be dead then to get this much pain at the end Of the day they will roam freely and about me I will be the only one to suffer
My parents will just think i am scared little coward girl but who will tell them how can I overcome them every time those girls just blame everything on me

The next day father came and took me home with no words exchanged between us. The moment I went home everything seems normal I got into my room
Later that night they both called me downstairs

"We don't want any mistake like this from you anymore" mother said with no expression

"But-" I wanted to tell them why they don't even listen

"We already have to deal with everyone do you even know how much trouble you have created" mother said cutting my words

"Just finish the dinner and go back to your room tomorrow you have your college" father said still eating

I pursed up my lips and started eating even though I didn't felt any appetite but the doctor pleaded me to take my medicines with full stomach so just for the sake of that doctor I completed my dinner and went to my room

End of flashback

I was about to walk towards the door when I felt him holding my arm again

"What's bothering you?I know I am no one to ask you this but tell me" hoseok said worried

"You are no one to me then why are you following me like this" I spat out I still didn't get over the flashback I had "just go away why are you meddling in my life" I replied turning back on my heels

Third person p.o.v

Hoseok got quite surprised and shocked by her sudden outburst she was right he was no one

"It's been three days why am I after her" hoseok questioned himself

He saw her walking downstairs
The more he try to stay away the more he is attracted towards her but he was not there today what could have done to her

The creepy sight still haunted him he once again looked over the roof then walked back downstairs walking back to his department

"Hoseok can you do this I am looking into it--" one of his colleague asked

"No I can't" he said harshly as the boy was taken aback but regretted the next second "u-uh I am sorry i-i" hoseok said trying to explain he didn't meant it

"It's okay" his colleague replied with a smile patting him on his shoulder "by the way are you good you don't seem to" he asked

"Uhh I am just a little tired" hoseok made an excuse

"Okay go and calm yourself" he said walking away and hoseok went back to his seat

Y/n's p.o.v

I regretted what I said to him but now it's too late to be regretted I shouldn't have said it
What will he think everytime he tries to help but I somehow become harsh to him

My head felt heavy as tears were about to beam out but I took a deep breath and went to restrooms
I took my muscle relaxants and gulped them down then washed my face splashing water all over

I took a deep breath sighing loudly and then went out walking back to my place

"Y/n!" I looked at it namjoon

"Yes?" I looked at him confused

"Manager Sejin has called you" he stated

"Me?" I questioned

"Yes he wants to discuss some work" he replied

"Okay" I said and started walking as he follows me

"Where were you?"he asked

"At roof" I thought

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