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7~Confessions (part 1)

(Midorikawa)
My stomach growled again in hunger and I instantly wished that I had said yes. Why was he doing this for me? The thought that I had been having ever since talking to Suzuno slipped into my mind once again.
No.
He was just doing this because he's a good friend - he's just a good friend I told myself over and over again, but my heart wouldn't accept that.

I began to believe that maybe...just maybe, he did......love...me? I looked over at him in the store, he was at the till, talking to the cashier lady, she was smiling, wait..laughing. Why was she laughing? Please tell me Hiroto wasn't, wasn't....
No.
He probably just told her something  funny. 'Stop jumping to conclusions for Christ's sake Ryuuji damn...'
Was I jealous? I tried to calm my thoughts 'calm calm' I remembered what Suzuno had said to me; I had to do this myself, just had to tell him and this time I would.

Once I was finally calm again I saw him walking back towards me, I tried to act normally as he got in next to me.

He handed me a small plastic bag, I gave him a quizzical look but opened it anyway. I pulled out a box of pocky and some dorayaki.
"For you." He said giving me a smile that melted my heart. "You hardly ate at the party so I thought you might be hungry. It's not exactly a 2am kebab but I hope it's okay anyway." He continued as he began driving again. "Thanks Hiroto, and don't apologise." I said as I began munching on the sweet dorayaki.

We drove along in silence - but it was a comfortable silence, I was softly munching my food whilst Hiroto hummed along to the radio, that was playing quietly in the background. It was nice.

I finished my food, I wanted to tell him-now. "Hiroto-" I started. He looked at me with his piercing teal eyes, I faltered, and stopped. I couldn't believe myself - I still couldn't do it, what the hell was wrong with me? "Uhhhh actually, never mind." I said looking out of the window trying to avoid his face.

Suddenly the music was turned off, and we pulled off to the side of the road, Hiroto turned the engine off. He sat there for a moment just completely silent.
"K-Kiyama?" I asked nervously, he was looking down at the floor, his grip tightening on the wheel before going lax, his arms resting at his sides. "Ryuuji." He said, not looking up. Whenever he called me that I usually felt happy, or got butterflies, but now it sounded so...devastated. I wanted to say something but my mind told me it would be best if I didn't speak. "What is it?" He continued. I was confused.
"W-What?" I whispered wondering what was going on.

He turned to face me, absolute devastation in his beautiful eyes. "What have I done? What have I done to upset you?"
"...Upset? N-no-" I choked out, but his expression didn't change, he shook his head, giving me a sad smile "You've been avoiding me, never reply my texts, never picking up my calls, or when you do you always say you're too busy to talk and hang up straight away. I figured I must have said or done something to annoy you or offend you, or made you feel...awkward. But I don't know what I've done- that's the worst part. But we're best friends, so I was hoping you'd just tell me by now. Then I could fix it. We're best friends so I won't get upset, I just hate this weird atmosphere between us, I was worried you hated me or something but just didn't have the heart to tell me." He said and I instantly felt so guilty. 'He really thinks that? He thinks he hurt me?'

I felt so horrible remembering what Suzuno had said and how worried he had been about me. How could I have done that to him? I shook my head hastily. "I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry. I don't hate you at all! You've done nothing wrong! I was just...scared..." I whimpered, tears rolling slowly down my cheeks. 'God why are you crying?!'
"Scared of what?" Hiroto choked out, sniffing a little like he was about to cry too.
I finally decided to do it, this was it-no going back. I held his hand in mine, electricity coursed through my body at the contact.

I took a deep breath "Scared of having to tell you how I feel about you...Hiroto I...I love you." I murmured and I saw his eyes widen in shock. "What?" He whispered and I dropped my head, expecting the worst.
But that's not what happened.

He suddenly pulled me into a warm embrace, burying his head in my neck as I just sat there in utter shock. He pulled away, looking me dead in the eyes and held onto my hand tighter. "Ryuuji. I'm so glad you said that. You have no idea how long I've wanted to tell you that I feel the same way. I wanted to confess for the longest time but I was so afraid you wouldn't feel the same and- God that's such a relief to hear." He replied breathlessly, smiling again and wiping the lingering tears from my stunned face.

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