AbbyMayHampsen

Pet store uwu

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"Are you sure you want a dog?" Crowley asked, pulling on Aziraphale's arm.

"Yes," he nodded. "I've been quite lonely recently."

"Then invite me over! I literally am in love with you," Crowley hissed.

"You know we can't be together," Aziraphale sighed. "Come on, now."

"Ffffffffffffine."

They reached a small building, in Soho, so it wasn't far at all from the bookshop. It was called, 'pets'. Rather boring, but the humans who made it couldn't think of anything else.

Pets had cats, dogs, birds, rats, gerbils, hamsters, fish, occasionally a tarantula or two, snakes, geckos, turtles, almost every domestic animal there was if you didn't include farm animals. Even in that category, they once had a piglet for sale.

Currently, though, Pets had 5 geckos, 0 dogs, 3 cats, 14 gerbils, 5 Guinea pigs, 2 turtles, 1 tarantula, 22 snakes, 135 fish of different types, 13 budgies, 6 hamsters, 1 large dumbo rat, and a pair of cockatiels.

"It smells like shit in here," Crowley said rather loudly, warning a concerned glance from a cashier.

Aziraphale pulled him by the neck tie towards the animal section, walking past the bird seed and cat toys towards the loud noises.

Crowley pressed his face onto the cat glass, watching a small kitten roll around on it's back. "Disgusting."

"No! Don't be mean!" Aziraphale frowned, pushing him away from the cats. "We'd better go, there's no dogs here."

"Oh, great," the demon said. "So this was all for nothing."

"I don't see why you're so upset to-"

"ANGEL!" Crowley interrupted him, looking over his head.

Aziraphale turned. "Oh, yes, they do keep snakes here."

"What? Why?" Crowley growled, tapping the glass on the boa cage. "That's horrible."

"No, it isn't," he argued. "They like it here. Sort of."

"Okay, how about this: would you rather be in heaven or in your bookshop?"

"Obviously my bookshop," Aziraphale scoffed. "That's a stup- ah, I see your point..."

"So help me," Crowley said, giving him a pleading look.

Aziraphale melted under his eyes, "Fine. But only because you are a snake."

"Thank you," he smiled. "Wait, did you just call me a s-"

"What are you planning to do, anyways? Buy all of them?" Aziraphale said, and then looked up at Crowley's mischievous grin. "Oh no. I will not help you steal a bunch of snakes. I won't do it."

"Well, it sure would be a shame if Gabriel found out what we did 4 years ago...." Crowley mumbled, tapping his foot. "Yknow, rumors can spread like wildfire if you give them to the right people."

"Is- is this blackmail?"

"I'm afraid so," the demon sighed.

"Alright, I'll help you... don't tell anyone, though," Aziraphale added hastily as he miracled the lock off the cage.

"Sure thing," Crowley said, pulling the cage from it's stand and sticking his hands inside. "Ow."

"Well, what did you expect?" He asked, watching the snakes swarm his hand. "They don't want to leave."

"Help me," Crowley hissed, glaring at Aziraphale. "Come on, he haven't got all day."

The angel glared right back as he reached his hand in and grabbed a handful of small diamond patterned snakes, stuffing them into his inner coat pockets.

Crowley kept his hand cupped together and walked towards the exit, the same cashier glancing up as he walked out with a bunch of stolen animals in his hands.

"Sir, wait!" She yelled.

Aziraphale snapped quietly, and she resumed working. Crowley was already in the Bentley, and he had to sprint to catch up.

"Now what?" Aziraphale said breathlessly, watching Crowley drop all of the snakes onto his lap.

"I don't know," Crowley admitted. "Didn't think I'd even get this far."

"Oh, for heaven's sake..."

They were suddenly in the rainforest, to Crowley's amazement. Aziraphale popped open the door and emptied his jacket onto the ground.

"Alright, your turn," he sighed.

The other nodded quickly, opening his own door and shoving the snakes off his lap. Most of them would be eaten by birds and large predators like that, but maybe one would survive. If starvation didn't get to it first. Afterall, they went to the wrong forest.

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The end uwu

I hope it was okay

If I ever forget to tag you in a thing because it was your request pls don't get angry it takes a while to find them....