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Chapter 21: The Interrogation (Fragment 5)

Chapter 21: The Interrogation (Fragment 5)

February 20, 2014, 7:54 PM
Case #: 124.678.21-001
OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPTION OF POLICE INTERVIEW

~~START PAGE 4~~

INVESTIGATOR: Mr. Thorn, are you familiar with the term "catfish."

THORN: Oh, come on.

INVESTIGATOR: It's a yes-or-no question.

THORN: Yes. I'm obviously familiar with the term.

INVESTIGATOR: Would you care to define it for us, for the record?

THORN: No.

INVESTIGATOR: No?

THORN: It was a yes-or-no question, right?

INVESTIGATOR: That's cute, Eric. What do you think, Terry? You think he's getting cute with us?

THORN: I'm not--I wasn't trying to be cute. I'm just not in the mood for pointless questions.

INVESTIGATOR: You know, Terry and I could do this all night. So if you just want to sit around and insult our intelligence--

THORN: No no no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I'm just a little thrown right now.

INVESTIGATOR: Understandable.

THORN: There are other things I would prefer to be doing. I'm sure you understand. So could we please cut to the chase?

INVESTIGATOR: And what other things would you prefer to be doing, Eric?

THORN: Well, I'd like to speak to Tessa, for one thing.

INVESTIGATOR: You care about her.

THORN: Of course.

INVESTIGATOR: And she cares about you?

THORN: Yes.

INVESTIGATOR: That's sweet. Isn't that sweet, Terry? Really heartwarming. You ever write a song about her, Eric?

THORN: What does that have to do with anything?

INVESTIGATOR: Oh, I'm just curious. I've got a niece. She's about 15 years old. Huge fan of yours.

THORN: I'd be happy to sign an autograph for her.

INVESTIGATOR: Now that's not necessary. Just answer the question, if you don't mind.

THORN: What was the question?

INVESTIGATOR: Did you ever write a song about Tessa Hart?

THORN: Really? I have to answer that?

INVESTIGATOR: You just put out a new single in December, right? What was that one called?

THORN: Snowflake.

INVESTIGATOR: That's it. Snowflake. Pretty song. Did you write that song about Tessa?

THORN: I really don't like to talk about the meanings behind my song lyrics.

INVESTIGATOR: Don't you? I got the sense that you and Tessa talked quite a bit about the meanings behind your song lyrics.

THORN: That's different.

INVESTIGATOR: How so?

THORN: I talked to her about things that I can't tell other people. Personal things. She's the only person I could talk to about a lot of stuff.

INVESTIGATOR: Because those conversations took place within the context of a private correspondence. A private relationship, you might say?

THORN: Right.

INVESTIGATOR: And there was one other way it was different, too. Wasn't there?

THORN: What do you mean?

INVESTIGATOR: I mean, she didn't know it was you, right? She thought she was talking about Eric Thorn with somebody named Taylor.

THORN: Right. Exactly.

INVESTIGATOR: "To lure someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona."

THORN: Sorry what?

INVESTIGATOR: That was a quote, actually. Let the record show that my previous statement was a quote from the Oxford English Dictionary, third edition. That was the second definition of the verb "catfish." Did you know they put it in the dictionary?

THORN: It wasn't like that.

INVESTIGATOR: OK, Eric. You wanted to cut to the chase? Let's cut to the chase. Did you, or have you ever, lured someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona?

THORN: It wasn't like that.

INVESTIGATOR: Wasn't it?

THORN: That's a crappy definition.

INVESTIGATOR: The Oxford English Dictionary?

THORN: It wasn't catfishing. It wasn't like on the MTV show. I mean, it was and it wasn't.

INVESTIGATOR: That's the defense you want to go with? It wasn't like on the MTV show?

THORN: Come on. You know what I mean.

INVESTIGATOR: I'll admit, I'm not totally up to date on all the slang you kids like to throw around.

THORN: Well, maybe you should ask your niece.

INVESTIGATOR: Maybe. But then again, my niece isn't involved in a criminal investigation into false impersonation, fraud, unlawful surveillance, and stalking.

THORN: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa-

INVESTIGATOR: So why don't you just go ahead and spell it out for us, Eric. How would you define catfishing?

THORN: I didn't do anything illegal.

INVESTIGATOR: But you did, in fact, lure Tessa Hart into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona. Correct?

THORN: You have to understand the position I was in.

INVESTIGATOR: What position was that?

THORN: She was my fan. She practically worshipped me. Catfishing is when you set up a fake profile to make yourself into someone more attractive. That's the opposite of what I did.

INVESTIGATOR: So you set up a fake profile to make yourself less attractive?

THORN: No. It wasn't about being attractive. It was about being anonymous. It was the only way I could be myself.

INVESTIGATOR: By pretending to be someone else? By willfully misleading someone about your true identity?

THORN: I'm not the villain here. Look, I know how it seems now, but I didn't mean for it to go the way it did.

INVESTIGATOR: And what way was that, exactly?

THORN: I just wanted to talk to someone. I didn't mean to fall in love.

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