Chapter 20: Surprise!

Eric re-read the message, rolling his shoulders to relieve the tension that had gathered.

Taylor: What reason would I possibly have to lie?

It wasn't technically a lie, he told himself. Back in the old days, he really did used to be his own biggest fan. He'd started out as nothing more than a kid with a guitar and a journal full of half-baked song lyrics, but he'd pushed himself to keep going no matter what anyone said - no matter how many times his friends laughed or his parents told him he was wasting his time.He'd always believed that he had talent. And he'd spent three long years posting video after video on Youtube before he got his record deal at last.

Nothing he'd just said about himself to Tessa was untrue. Not really. Maybe slightly distorted, but it wasn't like he could tell Tessa the whole truth anyway. How would that conversation go? He could just imagine. "Surprise! I'm actually Eric Thorn and this is my secret second profile!"

And what exactly would she say to that? Probably nothing at all. She'd simply write him off as a psychotic lunatic and unfollow him once and for all.

No, he couldn't tell her the whole truth. He hadn't completely lost his mind. Perhaps he'd omitted a few relevant details, but it was harmless. A little white lie, at most. If it ever seemed like any harm might come of it, all he had to do was end things. Say goodbye. Deactivate the account. And Taylor the phantom fan boy would disappear into Twitter oblivion, like he'd never even existed.

Somewhere in the back of Eric's mind, a little voice whispered that he probably should have deactivated already. He'd been on the receiving end of his share of little white lies. He knew they had a nasty way of changing color when viewed from someone else's vantage point.

If Tessa ever found out somehow. . . .

Not just Tessa. His manager had nearly caught him red-handed the other day, tweeting from this account. If the record label ever disccovered what he'd been up to. . . . Just the thought of it made Eric's stomach flip over with anxiety.

But he couldn't deactivate now. Not when he finally had her talking again. "Thanks for ruining my life," she'd said before. "It isn't catastrophizing if it's actually a catastrophe." She hadn't even told him yet what happened.

He didn't wait for her reply before he added another message to the thread.

Taylor: So are you going to tell me how I ruined your life or what?

Tessa: Scott

Taylor: What about Scott?

Tessa: I fell asleep to the sound of your voice whispering to me....

Taylor: What does that mean?

Tessa: Hmmmm. I thought you were such a huuuuge fan

Taylor: I know it's a line from Aloe Vera. What does it have to do with Scott?

Tessa: We lingered on your terrace. I drank up all your wine.

Taylor: Is this a test?

Tessa: You tell me. What's the next line?

Eric let out a growl of irritation. Honestly, Tessa, he thought. If she had the faintest clue who she was talking to right now. . . .

Taylor: You said baby take your clothes off. Get rid of those tan lines.

Tessa: No. YOU said baby take your clothes off.

Taylor: Isn't that what I just wrote?

Tessa: I believe your exact words were: "Take it all off, baby."

Taylor: I'm confused

Tessa: Scroll up. Our last conversation. Timestamp 9/15/13 at 2:32 PM

Taylor: What? That thing? I was telling you to take your socks off!

Tessa: Scott didn't find that very amusing for some reason.

Taylor: What happened?

Tessa: I fell asleep to the sound of your voice whispering to me.

Taylor: Enough with the song lyrics already!

Tessa: What's the next line?

Taylor: If I say will you tell me what happened?

Tessa: Go ahead. I fell asleep to the sound of your voice whispering to me....

Taylor: But you left me there to blister. Ran off with the only key.

Tessa: Exactly

Taylor: Exactly what?

Tessa: I got burned. I was depressed, and I fell asleep, and Scott found my phone.

Taylor: So what happened?

Tessa: Let's just say he wasn't very pleased that I'd been flirting for the past month with some guy I met on twitter

Taylor: Who? Me?

Tessa: YES YOU!

Taylor: But you didn't even know I was a boy!

Tessa: Well Scott didn't see it that way.

Taylor: So you had a big fight?

Tessa: Not really much of a fight actually. He mostly just said it was over and walked out.

Taylor: He broke up with you?

Tessa: Yup.

Taylor: Shit Tessa

Tessa: Yup.

Taylor: Are you OK?

Tessa: Nope.

Taylor: Because of me? There has to be more to it than that.

Tessa: I believe his exact words were, "I'm killing myself playing the dutiful boyfriend over here, and you're sexting some loser on twitter the whole time."

Taylor: Sexting? How were we sexting?

Tessa: "That selfie you tweeted was pretty smokin' hot"

Taylor: It was a picture of your bunny slippers! He's never heard of sarcasm?

Tessa: I don't think he actually looked at the picture

Taylor: Well it sounds like you two just need to talk to each other. I'm sure if you explain...

Tessa: It's been 4 days, Taylor. He won't return my calls.

Taylor: He just said that thing about sexting and left?

Tessa: No, I think he threw my phone at me and called me a cheating ho bag first. Something like that. He has a really bad temper sometimes.

Eric squinted at his phone, trying to picture the scene. Something about it had triggered a memory, and he let out a muffled gasp when he realized what it was.

Taylor: Wait a minute. I know what happened.

Tessa: I just told you what happened.

Taylor: No no. Hold on a sec.

He'd read it a month ago now - almost an exact description of Scott's behavior. Eric remembered where he saw it now. Of course. . . . It was the first night he and Tessa started talking. He flicked to pull up Wikipedia and pulled up the entry for Projection.

There it was, in the section on practical examples.

Bullying. . . .

Blaming the victim. . . .

Justifying infidelity. . . .

Bingo.

Eric took a screenshot and added the image to the DM conversation.

Tessa: What is this?

Taylor: Scott! It's classic

Tessa: What are you saying?

She really needed it spelled out? Eric thought Wikipedia had made it clear enough. He re-read the snippet that he'd just sent her.

Justifying infidelity: The cheating partner may project his own unfaithful thoughts or actions onto the innocent partner, in order to justify his infidelity and assuage his own sense of guilt.

Taylor: It's projection. Maybe Scott jumped to "sexting" cuz he was doing a little "sexting" of his own.

Tessa: Oh my God

Taylor: He was being distant with you for a while now

Tessa: I thought he was just busy with school

Taylor: Busy my ass. I'm busy too. I still find time to talk to you.

Tessa: You think he was lying?

Taylor: I'm sorry Tessa.

Tessa: No way

Taylor: You don't think so?

Tessa: No, I just can't believe I didn't think of it myself.

Taylor: Well, we can't all be as sensitive and insightful as I am.

Tessa: You never even heard of projection before you started talking to me.

Taylor: This is true. This is why I need you to keep talking to me. Please?

Tessa: What do you want from me?

Taylor: I just want to talk. I swear, there's nothing sinister. You help me deal with my shit. I help you deal with your shit. That's it.

Tessa: I don't know.

Taylor: You have to, Tessa. Especially now, with this Scott thing. Who else do you even have to talk to now?

Tessa: My therapist

Taylor: But she can't keep up with all your Eric Thorn references

Tessa: Are you sure you can?

Taylor: "Come on and ease this sunburn. Baby take away my pain..."

Tessa: Such a fan boy.

Taylor: See. We speak the same language.

Tessa: I don't know. I have to think about it.

Taylor: Sure

Tessa: Taylor....

Taylor: Yes?

Tessa: If I do decide to talk to you again, I need you to promise me something.

Taylor: Anything

Tessa: No more surprises, OK? I don't do well with surprises. Promise me right now there's nothing else I need to know.

Eric sucked in his breath between his teeth with a hiss. No more surprises. Of all the things she could've asked.

But what could he say? He couldn't refuse. She'd just get spooked and unfollow him again. And she needed him. That was the thing. As much as he liked to feel sorry for himself, his problems looked awfully insignificant compared to hers. She had no one else to talk to now. She needed a friend even more than he did. And he could help her. It couldn't be wrong if he only meant to help her.

Anyway, she didn't need to know because she would never find out the truth. He'd make certain of that. She'd never find out. Never. Over his dead body.

He took a deep breath to steady himself and tapped out his reply.

Taylor: Nothing else you need to know. I promise.

With that, Eric wished her goodnight and flicked the thread closed. He put down the phone and slid back under the covers to get some sleep.

Tessa clicked it closed as well. She rolled over in bed and reached for her thought journal to go over the evidence of her ex-boyfriend's deceit.

And in a not-so-distant room, unbeknownst to both of them, a third set of eyes had just logged in for the first time - and begun reading their conversation from the beginning.

Taylor: Hey Tessa. Thanks for the follow

Tessa: Hi

Taylor: Hey can I ask you a question?

Tessa: Um OK

Taylor: Do you have a spirit animal?

Tessa: I dunno. A gazelle maybe? Why? Do you?

Taylor: Cuz you know what kind of animal Eric Thorn would see. . . .

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