Chapter 5

“Rhian, come on. Stop crying. Ngayong buntis ka, avoid crying too much.” Jana comforted me.

Pagkagising ko kaninang umaga, I readied myself before going to the company but instead of going there, I pulled back the car and drove it to Jana’s house. Gusto ko lang ibahagi sa kanya ‘yung nararamdaman ko dahil sa ngayon, hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko.

“Did you use the five PTs I bought?”

“I only used one, but I couldn’t get to use the other four, Jana.” Dahil mas mababaliw ako kung puro dalawang pulang guhit ang makikita ko sa apat pang natitirang pregnancy tests na ‘yon.

“What’s your plan now?”

I brushed my face using my hands. “I don’t know yet. Maybe I’ll buy enough time to ready myself before telling my Dad about this.” Naramdaman ko ang mahinang pagtapik nito sa likod ko saka niya ako inabutan ng isang basong tubig.

“Kapag okay ka na, samahan kitang magpa-check-up para malaman natin kung ilang buwan na ‘yang nasa sinapupunan mo.” I nodded to her suggestion.

Nang medyo mahimasmasan ako, sinabi ko kay Jana na huwag munang ipaalam sa iba ang sitwasyon ko. Once I’m all ready, I will tell them myself. Pumayag naman ito sa sinabi ko.

That whole week, I didn’t bother to visit the company. I just informed Alessia that I will not come to the company for the whole week or two. Sabi nito ay in-inform na raw niya sa lahat ang pansamantalang pagkawala ko at hintayin na lang daw ang pagbabalik ko, pero kung may importanteng papeles na kailangan ng pirma ko, idadaan na lang daw niya sa aking condo.

“What did you feel when you find out that you’re pregnant?” I held unto the railings and looked at the clouds.

“I felt nervous and worried, but at the same time it felt strangely nice,” I replied, and a small smile escaped from my lips.

That night, when I saw those red lines, I admit I was so nervous but part of me felt happy. Maybe because I am now carrying my baby? I don’t know. I couldn’t name what I truly feel.

“So, how about your baby’s father?” Tila roon ako natigilan.

I don’t know that guy. I just saw him once, but he’s too fast to own me on our first night. Or was it my fault because I initiated so? That darn kiss. Argh. Maybe I’ll focus first on how to tell my father about the child I’m carrying.

“Hoy! Bumalik ka na nga sa condo mo! Para akong kidnapper dahil sa akin ka hinahanap ng lahat!” Sisi sa akin ni Jana dahil lampas isang linggo na ako rito sa bahay nila ni Ellie. Nilapag nito ang phone niya sa mesa at nakita ko ang ilang message thread doon mula sa Tatay ko at maging ni Harold.

“Magmakaawa ka muna. Sabihin mo, ‘Rhian, uwi ka na sa inyo please’ kamo dali!” Nagtunog makaawa pa ako.

“Gaga!” Ngunit ang Jana ay tinapunan lang ako ng tissue. Bastos talaga.

“Oo na. Uuwi na ako ngayong weekends." Tumaas ang sulok ng labi ko, tipong ako pa ‘tong galit samantalang nakikibahay na nga lang ako.

“Pang-ilang weekends pa ba ‘yan? Perwisyo ka sa bahay!” singhal nito.

“Aba! Kapag kayo nag-away ni Ellie, huwag kang pupunta sa condo ko! Hindi ka na welcome doon!” I told her pero alam ko namang hindi sila mag-aaway. Just in case, though. Char.

“Hindi naman ako aawayin ng Ellie ko, right baby?” Inangkla pa nito ang kamay niya sa braso ni Ellie na kulang na lang ay magpakandong. Hinalikan naman siya ng kanyang asawa. At sa harap ko pa talaga, ha?

“Ang kadiri niyong tignan. Bwisit!” Saka ako nagdabog papasok sa guest room na tinutuluyan ko.

“Inggit ka lang!” Rinig ko pang pang-aasar ng best friend ko bago ko maisara ang pintuan.

When I closed the door, I opened my phone, and text messages keep popping on my screen. Bali isang linggo ko ring in-off ang phone ko at hindi ko aakalaing babahain ako ng mensahe at tawag. Puro parepareho lang naman sila ng tanong kaya iyong importanteng messages lang ang ni-reply-an ko.

It was Friday afternoon when I get back to the condo. Nagtaxi na lang ako dahil sa halos dalawang linggong nakibahay ako sa mag-asawang Ellie at Jana, parang ngayon lang ako tinubuan ng hiya sa katawan. Imagine, I just considered their new house as my rest house. What a shame, Rhian!

“Ugh, I miss my bed,” I lazily laid on the bed and hugged all my pillows.

Starting Monday, babalik na ulit ako sa trabaho. Nakausap ko na rin si Jana na magpapa-check-up ako before this month ends, that’s a week after next. Pagkatapos no’n ay saka ko sasabihin sa pamilya ko ang pagbubuntis ko. I won’t prolong this anymore. I had to tell them about it sooner.

“Good morning, Ms. Echarri.”

“Good morning. How are you?”

“Okay lang po, Ma’am,” sagot ng mga empleyado ko na nakasabay ko sa elevator.

When I reached my office, I was welcomed by the pile of folders on top of my table. I didn’t waste time anymore. Agad kong inasikaso ang mga iyon. Nang matapos kong i-review ang ilang folders, pumasok ulit si Alessia at may bitbit na naman siyang folders galing sa Finance Department. So ayun muna ang inuna ko dahil kailangan na iyon ngayong hapon.

“What a great comeback for me. Sana pala hindi na lang ako um-absent.” Napasandal ako sa swivel chair at pansamantalang nagpahinga. After 20 minutes, I continued what I’m supposed to do again.

It’s exactly 5 when I came back home. Dahil tinamad na akong magluto, nag-order na lang ako ng pagkain ko at iyon ang kinain ko. Pumapapak ako ng ilang banana chips habang nanonood sa telebisyon nang may kumatok sa labas ng unit ko. I stood up, went to that door, and opened it.

“Hi.”

If only I knew that it was her, I should have not opened the door. “Why are you here, Erica?”

“Care to welcome me inside?” she also asked and entered without waiting for my response. Geez. Quarter to ten na, e. Ano bang sadya ng babaeng ‘to sa akin?

“Mali ‘yung naibigay na files sa’yo. Good thing Mr. Freezelle of Tower Bank had his urgent meeting kaya bukas pa iyon maibibigay sa kanya,” paliwanag nito.

“You are their head, you should have reviewed the papers first before sending it to my office,” I scolded. Minsan na nga lang mag-effort sa trabaho niya, sumasablay pa.

“Sorry, okay? I just had so many things to do. Hindi naman ako robot para maasikaso ko ang lahat ng iyon sa isang upuan lang,” pagrereklamo nito at narinig ko pa ang mahina niyang pagbuga ng hangin.

“My dear Erica, I have solution for that,” I smiled sweetly at her. “Resign.”

“That won’t happen,” palabang usal nito. “Where’s your comfort room?”

“Ikaw may kailangan ‘di ba? Hanapin mo,” I teased. Para itong batang nagdabog palayo sa akin. Gusto ko sanang itapon sa kanya ang banana chips na hawak ko pero sa halip na masayang ay sa bunganga ko na lang iyon idiniretso.

Itinuon ko na lang ang tingin ko sa folder na dinala ni Erica saka ko binasa ang nakapaloob doon. The content was fine so I signed it right away. Erica then came back and stifled a smile. Agad ko namang ibinigay ‘yung folder sa kanya para makaalis na siya’t mawala sa paningin ko.

“Thank you and sorry for bothering you, Ms. President. Bye!”

“Bye for good, mas matutuwa pa ako,” usal ko bago ito makalabas.

Panibagong umaga na naman ang dumating at pagkarating na pagkarating ko sa opisina’y wala na akong ibang ginawa kundi ang magalit sa lahat ng employees.

I held an urgent meeting because I found out na kaya pala mababa ‘yung sales ng restaurant sa dalawang rehiyon ay dahil mali ang mga nakonsumo ng mga itong kasangkapan sa pagluluto. Hindi tugma sa kung anong napagkasunduan namin ng dati kong nakuhang supplier. No one knew about this not until I reviewed our records. If I hadn’t reviewed it, hindi pa namin malalaman. What about the employees, aren’t they doing their job? Isa pa, iyong nagmamanage sa restaurant ay palpak ang paghehandle nila.

I told them all that if they can’t find that supplier within this week, their salary would suffer. I also plan on filing a lawsuit against that supplier. How dare he to fool me after signing an agreement with me?

“Leave,” mariin kong saad sa kanilang lahat at agad namang nagsialisan ang mga ito.

Nang maiwang mag-isa, dumiretso ako sa bintana at pinagmasdan na lang iyong mga nasa baba. Geez. Simula nung bumalik ako sa kompanyang ‘to matapos kong um-absent ng dalawang linggo, puro stress na lang ang nakukuha ko.

Hapon no’n ay nahanap nila kaagad ‘yung supplier. Iniwan ko na lang sa lawyer ko ang mga dapat niyang gawin at siya na ang bahalang mag-asikaso sa kaso dahil ayokong ma-stress ng sobra sa manlolokong supplier na ‘yon.

“Magleave ka kaya muna? Buntis ka, Rhian. Hindi ka dapat na-sstress, e.”

“Kapag nagleave ako, baka pagbalik ko’y doble-dobleng stress pa ang makukuha ko.” Sa basong tubig ko na lang ibinunton iyong inis ko.

Habang nag-uusap kami’y nasabi ko rito na sa next Monday ko na balak magpa-check-up. From the stress I got, it might affect the baby from my womb and I don’t want something bad to happen. Ellie already knew about the baby that’s why we can talk freely about it. Tanging kaming tatlo pa lang naman ang nakakaalam.

‘Dad and Mom will be celebrating their 9th wedding anniversary this Friday. They’re expecting your presence.’ That was a message from Erica. Halos makalimutan ko pang malapit na nga pala ang wedding anniversary nila.

“Who’s that?” Jana curiously asked. I told her that it was Erica and the message she sent is all about our parents’ wedding anniversary this Friday.

Wearing a high waist skirt, I paired it with flounce sleeves then used an ankle strap for my footwear. Today’s our parents’ anniversary and I have to be there. Pagkarating sa bahay ay ipinark ko na lang iyong kotse sa may garahe saka ako dumiretso sa loob. Tita Margaret welcomed me with a tight hug. Ginantihan ko na lang ito kahit labag sa kalooban ko. Then I went near my Dad and hugged him.

As usual, they prepared a candlelit dinner. This is how they usually celebrate their wedding anniversary.

“Cheers!” We all clinked our glasses and drink our champagne.

Tumayo saglit si Erica at pagbalik nito’y may dala siyang malaking paper bag saka niya iyon iniabot sa kanilang dalawa. It was a set of jewelry and a painting of their wedding. Sobrang tuwa naman nilang dalawa. Erica looked at me teasingly. I disgustedly looked at her. Even in giving gifts, she’s competing with me.

Being silent, I stood up and went to my car. I didn’t come here without anything. I knew Erica will do this so I had to prepare something for them, too. I bought Tita Margaret’s favorite flower and a limited edition watch for Dad.

“Here. Happy anniversary,” I greeted as I put those on top of the table but the ambiance abruptly changed. Umalis lang ako saglit, ngayon ay sobrang tahimik na nila.

“You shouldn’t have bothered. They already received your first gift.”

Naguguluhan kong tinignan si Erica. “First gift?”

She shrugged off her shoulders. “This.”

Nalipat ang paningin ko sa kanya at nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa bagay na ngayon ay hawak niya. It’s a pregnancy test. How come that she has it? Was it when she went to my condo where she looked for the comfort room? Kagat ang ibabang labi nang ibalik ko ulit ang paningin sa Dad ko.

“You’re pregnant. Is this the reason why you’re suddenly pulling off the wedding?” Dad’s stare became cold.

“Dad, no—”

“Ilang weeks na ‘yang pinabubuntis mo?”

“I d-don’t know yet. Hindi pa po ako nagpapacheck up dahil l-lately ko lang po nalaman—”

“And you didn’t inform me? Kung hindi pa ‘to nakita ni Erica sa kwarto mo, hindi pa namin malalaman!” Dad thundered and that gave me chills. I can’t even look at his eyes because I never imagined that his stare could be this cold.

“I... I was planning to.” Nagsimulang mabasag ang boses ko saka ako napayuko.

“Who’s the father of that child? Is it Harold or is it from another man?”

“D-dad...” I barely managed what I had to say to him. Para akong nablanko nang wala sa oras.

“I guess it’s from another man, Dad. She wouldn’t pull off the wedding if it’s Harold’s baby, right?” Erica butted in.

Napapaypay si Tita gamit ang kanyang kamay at binigyan ako nito nang nakakasukang tingin. “How could you let another man impregnate you when you have your fiance?” she questioned.

Bombarded with their insults, tears gushed down my face and I didn’t bother to wipe it. I just silently let my tears fall in front of them.

I looked sharply at Erica who’s giving me a smirk right now. I see. Alam kong plinano na nila kung paano nila akong sisirain sa mata ng Daddy ko gamit ang walang kamuwang-muwang na sanggol sa sinapupunan ko, at itinaon pa talaga nila ito sa anniversary nila. I guess to increase my Dad’s hatred towards me.

“Yes, I am pregnant,” amin ko sa kanila. Inunahan na ako ni Erica sa pagsabi nito tungkol sa kanila, bakit ko pa itatanggi? Dahil na rin sa inamin ko, nakita ko kung paanong napahawak nang mahigpit ang Daddy sa sulok ng mesa. He’s definitely mad.

“But is being pregnant worse than using my Dad?” Dagdag ko at tinignan ko sina Erica at Tita Margaret sa pwesto nila. They seemed shocked because of what I said.

“Akala niyo ba wala akong kaalam-alam sa mga plano niyo? You’re using my Dad to take everything from him, right? His wealth, the company, everything. And you’re using my situation now to stain my image? For what? For him to hate me? If you can fool my Dad, you cannot do it with me—”

“Rhian Cassandra!” Dad stood up as he furiously shouted my name. “I didn’t raise you to act like that! How could you turn the tables when it was you who did something terrible? And how could you be this disrespectful?”

“I just told you what you had to know, Dad—”

“Shut up!” Para akong napatalon sa kinatatayuan ko dahil sa malakas na paghampas nito sa mesa. “I think I spoiled you too much for you to become this irresponsible.”

“Dad,” ramdam ko ang muling pagkabasag ng boses ko.

“Leave this house and don’t show your face to me.”

“But Dad—” my words were cut because Dad’s hand landed on my face. The sound of the slap he gave me echoed in the whole kitchen.

“Leave! You’re a disgrace in this family!” he disgustingly remarked.

My breathing became ragged. Just as how Dad threw that painful words to me and of how he slapped me,  I felt something pinching my heart tightly. And just as how pair of hot tears rolled my cheeks, I quickly turned my back on him.

You’re a disgrace in this family. After doing all the things for this family, I didn’t know that’s where I stand. What pains me the most is that it came out from the mouth of my father. For 24 years that he took care of me and considered me as his only princess, never did I imagine that he could throw those words to me, and that he could slap me.

After leaving them, I looked like a robot here who kept on walking, not minding where my feet could lead me. Para kasing sirang plaka iyong mga binitawang salita ng Daddy ko na paulit-ulit na naglalaro sa isip ko, at sa bawat ulit ay pasakit nang pasakit ‘yung nararamdaman ng dibdib ko.

“Am I not his daughter? How could he believe that Erica over me?” Naiiyak kong sambit saka ko pinunasan ang takas kong mga luha.

I didn’t plan on hiding it from him. I just want to have a check-up first before informing him. Iyon ang plano ko, sadyang inunahan lang ako ng Erica na iyon. Because of that woman, eto ako ngayon at naglalakad mag-isa. Bwisit lang kasi. Sa sobrang sama ng loob ko kanina’y napatakbo na lang ako. I even left my car there, including my phone and my wallet.

Napabuga ako ng malalim na hininga. Then I crossed the road, but it was a wrong move because after loud horns, all I see now was a bright light coming into me, followed by a loud shriek of tires on the road.

As my eyes slowly closed, I just hope that the baby in my tummy is fine.

“Sir, I think we found her,” saad ng taong ngayon ay papalapit sa direksyon ko pero ang sunod na nangyari ay hindi ko na alam dahil nawalan na ako ng malay.