No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone's life is only the core of their actual existence.

(Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

I was selfish.

Because you see, I was dead. I should want for Dash and Ingreth to be happy, even if they were together. I knew for a fact that Ingreth was a good person and she had been – and still was – a great friend to me. The pictures she had chosen for the memorial were proof of that.

The fact that she still cried every time someone mentioned my name, well that was another proof.

So I should be happy that she and Dash seemed attached to the hip. I should be happy because he made her smile, she made him smile, and they were two people I loved.

I should be happy.

But sure enough, I was moping around the house as people came to my memorial. I have to admit, there were more people than I expected - Mr. Parker, the book shop owner, came. So did Mrs. Fleur, the librarian. And Miss Kurt, my English teacher, was actually crying in a corner, who'd guess?

And in the corner, whispering to each other as they looked at old pictures of me, were Dashiel and Ingreth.

Yes, I was pouting.

I found myself walking away and sitting on the sofa, closing my eyes for a bit. It was strange, to see everybody wearing dark colors and staring at those old pictures of me.

Ingreth had done a wonderful job - the pictures she'd picked were of me, of us, and they were all of happy moments. All of them pictures I'd have picked myself.

She had picked good songs - one of them being my favorite song from Sherlock's soundtrack, "How He Did It." You know, the one from when everyone thinks he's dead, but he really isn't?

I did get the message, Ingy darling.

I found myself smiling and sighed. It was strange, this whole thing was, but in a way, I was in peace.

Funny thing, that.

After a moment, I felt as if someone was watching me.

Stupid. I mean, I was dead, nobody could see me. Still...

I turned and looked for them and, sure enough, Dashiel was staring at me. Or at someone who was standing behind me.

It was Ingreth, she was whispering something to my mom and I couldn't help wincing when I wondered whether he was staring at her because he had feelings for her as well.

I cringed.

I watched, stuck in my place, as he approached her.

"Hey, it looks like you are crying again."

He gave her a small sad smile as he patted her shoulder and turned to look at the pictures that were close to us.

I was readying myself to bolt, but Ingreth's small laugh made me turn.

It was... strange. I felt both happy and unhappy to hear that sound.

"I just miss her," Ingreth admitted, sighing. "We were supposed to go to college together. We were going to be roommates and best friends for life – Maisie wasn't even fifteen yet. She shouldn't be dead."

A small sigh. "I thought Jace was messing with me at first." He whispered, almost as if he was confessing something terribly embarrassing. "He had been a little mad at me ever since I..." he trailed off, looking at me.

Straight at me.

STRAIGHT at me.

And then I turned behind me and, much to my surprise, there was nothing there but an empty sofa.

I turned back - his eyes were still on me.

"Never mind. I think it's time for us to leave for the funeral."

*

As the last rays of sunlight melt into the darkness, I watched as they laid my body to rest. It was poetic, I thought, that they decided to bury it at the evenfall - the death of a day, so to say. I tried not to look in the body's direction though, afraid of what I'd see, deciding to focus on the people standing around instead.

I mean, it wasn't like there were many - only six, seven if you counted me. It was almost pathetic. Jace had his fist closed and was glaring down accusingly at the coffin. Joanne was tapping her feet in the soil, sometimes even going as far as pacing around the graves, muttering as she noticed spots of mud in her dress. Ingreth and my parents were crying, they seemed inconsolable and I couldn't help shifting from foot to foot.

I wanted to hug them hard and tell them that everything would be better.

But I couldn't say that... and I didn't really think they'd appreciate it if I did anyway. It would be uncomfortable...

This whole situation was uncomfortable, as a matter of fact. Especially if you consider that my brother's best friend/crush was staring straight at me, his eyes glowing with a mix of sadness and anger.

I turned to look behind me, and once again, there was nothing there.

Nothing.

But me.

*

"Oh, hello there, honey. I'm guessing you haven't been dead long?"

Sitting on a tomb, a beautiful woman dressed in a long red dress smiled at me with her thick lips painted crimson red.

For some reason, looking at her made me want to run away, but a glance at my family made me stay in place.

I couldn't leave them.

"Hmm." I shrugged and looked away, pretending not to see or hear her, but I soon discovered that it didn't work.

As her hand closed around my arm, I could feel her long nails cutting into my skin. Hard. Her lips curved into a smile, I couldn't hold back a shudder. Her smile widened.

"Aw, look how cute she is – she's scared." The woman said in a sing-song voice. "You must be really new... ah, yes. I can see it. Your body right?"

Glancing away from the woman, I tried to step away but she kept holding my arm. Hard. It started to burn.

I suddenly wondered whether ghosts bled – because it looked like I would pretty soon.

"Listen girlie, don't be scared. Someone is going to come for you soon – you are so cute, how could they not? But while they don't, be careful. There are ghosts out there that aren't going to move on... and they'll want to make sure you don't either."

I blinked, glancing at the hand on my arm and then at her, while lifting an eyebrow. She was almost cutting my arm in two, and she didn't mean any harm? That didn't make any sense. But still, she had information that looked like it could be useful for me, so I took a deep breath and faced her. "What do you mean? Doesn't everybody hmm... move on?"

The woman snorted and shook her head. "If that's what you believe, princess, I won't be the one to destroy your sandcastle." Looking away from me for a minute, she glanced back at me for a long moment before letting go of my arm. "It's over now. Get out of here soon and don't come back – this isn't a good place for wandering souls such as yourself."

I watched as she glided away, her hips moving as if dancing to some music I couldn't hear. Then, as if rehearsed, she stopped and turned to face me. "Oh, and just in case, the name's Tanya. If you need it, use it."

"Wait!" I said, but the woman didn't turn back. "What the heck did you mean?" I muttered to myself.

Turning back to the scene behind me, I noticed it was already too late. As Tanya had said, the ceremony seemed to be over, and they were leaving, huddling together and whispering amongst themselves.

What was strange was the fact that, despite all the others leaving, Dashiel stood frozen in place.

Staring at me.

"We should leave." He whispered, and I looked around in askance.

But outside of a couple of shadows who seemed to be minding their own business, the cemetery seemed to be completely empty. Who could he be talking with?

I must have been searching around for a little too long because Dashiel grew impatient.

"Let's leave, Maisie. I don't think this is a good place for you to ghost about."

Shocked, I widened my eyes. He was talking to me?

Without another word, he gave me his back and started walking out of the cemetery. I rushed after him, so many questions in my head I couldn't figure out which one to ask first.

After a little while, my anger won out. I might, or might not, have growled at him.

"Hey, I'll have you know I'm not 'ghosting about'," I replied, before looking around. It still seemed weird that Dash was able to see me. "I'm in a very serious mission here!"

"Oh? Do tell." He said lifting an eyebrow in a way that told me he was perfectly aware of the fact I had no idea whatsoever in what to do.

"Well, I'm narrating a story!" I told him with the most serious expression I could master though, honestly, it probably didn't work.

I mean, he burst out laughing.

"Oh May, that sounds so much like you." He said, shaking his head in amusement even as he dried a couple of tears that had escaped with the back of his hand. "I can almost believe you are real."

I blinked, pausing for a moment. "What do you mean, 'you can almost believe I'm real?'" I asked, looking around at myself.

As far as I could tell, I was very much real, thank you.

Well, as real as a ghost can be anyway.

"Well, you are dead. So, either I'm imagining you, or I'm dreaming, or I'm going crazy." A heavy sigh from him. " Or maybe it's a mix of all three."

I frowned for a moment – was I some sort of memory inside Dashiel's head?

In all my life as a ghost - which, in all due honesty, wasn't that long - I had never considered that.

Was this what ghosts were? Impressions from living people?

But that was so strange - I glanced at myself and floated away for a bit, trying to check myself out.

I felt so much like the real me, it was weird to think of me as an imprint.

"Hey, what are you doing?" He asked, lifting up his head to face me. I shrugged.

"I moved away from you and I didn't fade so I can't be an illusion. Or a dream. And I don't think you are crazy."

A heavy sigh from his lips. "Damn, and I was really hoping this was a dream." Another sigh plus a heavy shake of his head, almost as if he was trying to shake me off his sight.

But it was clear to me that he was still able to see me when he opened his eyes.

"Damn, I don't want you to be dead." His voice was low and I don't think he meant for me to listen.

So I pretended I didn't.

Not that it made a lot of difference because Jace rushed towards him just as Dash was starting to scrub his eyes.

"Are you coming back to the house? We're going to... talk."

Dashiel grimaced. "No, mate. Sorry, I don't think I can make it." He turned to stare at me and sighed. "It might be a little too much for me."

Jace's expression softened. "I'm sorry, Dash. I'm not sure I've told you this yet but... I really am. I know how much you liked Maisie and if I hadn't been such a jerk to you then maybe—"

"It's fine!" Dashiel said and I noticed that his cheeks were slightly rosy. I couldn't help but think he looked cute.

"It's not fine," Jace sighed, patting him on the shoulder. "but I guess I can't change the past now, so... I'll go tell my parents. Thanks for coming anyway."

Dash nodded and watched as Jace started to walk away. I sighed and found myself following him – there was something in Jace's eyes that seriously worried me. I couldn't help but hope he'd stay home tonight, however...

"Oy, where are you going?" Dashiel leaned forward, grabbing my arm with one of his hands.

Which, of course, didn't work. His hand cut straight into nothingness.

"Sorry." I found myself whispering when my eyes met his. Dashiel looked... There were so many feelings on his eyes, it was hard to decide what to describe first. There was sadness and anger, panic and understanding, fear and tenderness...

I couldn't help but wish I could see what was going on inside his head, so I could maybe soothe it—him.

"Don't... don't leave, ok?" Dashiel settled for whispering, glancing at his hand with so much sorrow I was having a hard time holding back my own tears. Had he hurt his hand when he touched me?

"Ok." For some reason, I whispered back – despite the fact that nobody but Dash could hear me. I know, it was rather silly, but it felt right.

So, this was how I found myself following Dashiel home.

*

"Wow, so clean!"

I found myself sitting at Dashiel's bed in amazement. I had never been in his bedroom before, but with how much he hung out with my brother, I figured it would be something like what Jace has.

It wasn't.

"Wow, are your books color coordinated?"

"I like things organized ok?" He said, seemingly unable to meet my eyes as he opened his wardrobe and selected a change of clothes.

And, yes, it was also color-coordinated.

"Man, I wish I had known about this while I could still ask you to help me organize my room," I admit out loud, looking at everything in awe even as he disappeared inside his bathroom. "I would never be able to keep something organized like this, though. Not for long."

"I wouldn't have minded helping, organizing is fun," Dash said from inside the bathroom, which made me shake my head at him. What the heck was going on inside this boy's life that he thought organizing was fun? Something was clearly wrong. "But then again, I never really minded your mess either. It was... soothing. Kind of like you."

I frowned even as I heard the shower being turned on. What exactly did he mean? I could remember a couple of our interactions in the past – and though they had been plenty, more often than not they hadn't lasted more than five, six minutes.

We'd always been in a hurry.

I found myself drawn, once again, to his library. You could say a lot about a person through the books he read, right?

He had a couple of Dan Brown's books. Funny, hadn't considered him as one who enjoyed suspense... And the Harry Potter series, of course. Some Terry Pratchet's, some Neil Gaiman's, and was that Jane Austen? Oh dear, it was.

I was still entranced, staring at Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility with a mix of pride and wonder when Dash rushed back into the room. When he saw me, he smiled. "Hey. Why so quiet? I thought you had run off for a moment there."

And despite his attempt to look nonchalant, it was clear in his drippy and messy wet hair and in the shirt dressed backward that he had rushed through his bath in order to check on me.

"I wouldn't run off without saying goodbye,"

"I hope not," he muttered, running a hand through his hair and opening his mouth to say something else when the door opened suddenly.

"Dash, darling! What is this nice breeze inside your room, huh?"

A groan. "Aunt Savannah. There's nothing in my bedroom."

I found myself approaching Savannah Blackwoods. We had all heard about her - what with how small our town was, we had heard about everybody – but this was my first time actually seeing her.

With black hair and shockingly bright pink highlights, she grinned at Dash with a joy that seemed to bubble from inside of her.

In fact, I was pretty sure that there must be a picture of her close to the word 'joy' in the dictionary... It made me wonder why people whispered about her so much.

She seemed like such a nice, cheerful person.

"But of course there is!" As she entered the room, I noticed she had a large colorful bag in one of her arms. "Hm, but what could it be?"

Another groan from Dash. "Ah, aunt Savannah. I think Mom is in her office, why don't you go—"

"Because I came in here to visit my favorite nephew, that's why!" She said, turning to beam at him for a long moment before letting the smile slip and just gazing at him. "I heard that your best friend just lost his sister, and then I remembered you talking about her last weekend." Her voice was gentle now as she slipped a hand on his shoulder.

Dashiel sighed. "Yeah."

"I was worried about you. What with everything you were saying last weekend—"

"Aunt Savannah!" he interrupted her, chancing a quick glance towards me before looking back at his aunt. "I'm ok."

Glancing towards me, his aunt suddenly grinned. "Oh, I see. Is it her I'm sensing them? Oh, that's so sweet. It's nice to meet you, darling, pity I can't see you due to your not being, you know, a part of this world anymore – but I really love your energy!"

I stared at her, in silence, unable to do anything but mumble an "Erh, thanks?"

Shaking his head, Dash smiled. "Only you would find it perfectly normal that I am currently seeing someone that has died, aunt Savannah."

"Well, why not?" She blinked, seemingly surprised by his words. "Why, I myself died once, you know?"

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YOU DON'T NEED TO RE-READ THIS TO UNDERSTAND THE STORY. YOU CAN GO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT WHERE YOU STOPPED READING.

Originally published: November 27th, 2019

Revised: March 24th, 2020

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