"All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart."

Shatter me, by Tahereh Mafi 

Now, everything in life had its limits ... Even the little courage I had managed to gather.

At that moment, I was using almost all of it to keep walking between Hugo and Tanya and not running and screaming like a crazy person - which is what I wanted to do.

Hugo was smiling and waving to random people, looking completely at ease if you didn't notice how tense his body looked and Tanya, she had this smile that seemed almost predatory on her face.

We were almost reaching the stairs when the Guards caught up with us.

-Hey, how are you? - Hugo smiled, trying to look nice, but ended up looking a bit like a psychopath. –Busy week?

The Guards looked at each other, clearly not falling for Hugo's chitchat. The heaviest of the four gave a loud laugh and hit Hugo so hard on the shoulder that he ended up taking three steps back.

"Malach said that you were bad at hiding, but my goodness huh?"Another laugh. "You guys suck!"

What?

It took me a few minutes to process the fact that Malach was apparently a friend of these Guards and had warned them that we would be here.

Tanya recovered much faster.

"Well, it is a pity that we were not up to you and the almighty Malach, but I believe we would have been a lot better if he had had the intelligence to warn us that you would help us.

"Malach didn't know if I would help him, he just trusted that, no matter what, I wasn't going to betray his trust." the man retorted, frowning. "But I am one who goes back on promised favors. Aline is free and waiting for you at the back door, I'll take you there."

"Hm, thank you." I thanked him, because it seemed like the right thing to do and no one else was doing it. The man gave me a smile.

"As I said, I don't go back on promises. I told Malach I owed him one, you can tell him we're even now." He took a long breath. "Between us, I hope everything works out for you. I would really hate to have to arrest Malach."

He guided us towards the back door, and I noticed that the other Guards seemed much calmer when they saw us in that man's company. I didn't know who he was, but clearly he was someone important here.

At the back door, a woman was waiting for us - and honestly, she was nothing like I was expected her to be. I think that, because she got involved with Izak, I always thought that Aline was like my sister.

But no, with her long straight black hair and almond-shaped eyes, she looked very much like a gypsy princess... Except for the fact she was excessively thin and had empty eyes, like Malach's.

Unlike Malach, however, her expression was tired, empty, as if something inside her had been irreparably broken.

" I still don't understand why you're letting me go, Geoffrey." She murmured, her eyes passing over us before focusing on the floor. "Izak is not yet under arrest. He never will be."

"Listen here, Doll: Izak will be arrested even if it's the last thing I do. We have a score to settle," Tanya replied, pushing the burly Guard, Geoffrey, out of the way and holding Aline's arm tightly. " and you will help us."

Aline seemed to be looking at Tanya with mixed fascination and horror for a few minutes.

Yeah, Tanya always making friends wherever she goes, right?

Hugo and I look at each other, holding our laughter.

"Tanya, she was in love with Izak. Be kinder," turning to Aline, Hugo forced a smile. "We need your help to rescue some of our friends who are in the hands of Izak. We don't have much time, so—"

Aline's smile was weak, but she nodded.

"You are mistaken, but it doesn't matter. I will help in whatever way I can, you can count on me ... But I no longer believe that there is anyone capable of capturing Izak."

Her hopelessness made me want to sit and cry, but I controlled myself as best I could. By my side, Tanya was shaking with rage, so Hugo came over and went to help Aline get around.

"I have the perfect transport for you, as long as there is someone here who knows how to drive," Geoffrey said, his smile remaining wide on his face. "I imagine at least one of you knows?"

"I know." Tanya murmured, rolling her eyes. "And it's better if I drive anyway. Most people tend to be nervous about cars driving by themselves.

Geoffrey laughed.

"Not so much, most of them just think it's an automatic car." He said looking around, for the first time since we started talking, he looked uncomfortable. "Come on, we better get going fast."

The car was very typical – black, with four doors. Nothing out of this world or that would attract attention, seriously - a little disappointing when you think it belonged to the Holy Army.

"I hate people like her," Tanya said quietly, while Hugo helped Aline to get in the car.

I frowned.

"But why? Aline was a victim of Izak and—"

"And that's exactly why." Tanya retorted, shaking her head. "Were you lied to? Made out to be a fool? Okay, everyone is fooled sometimes. Everyone is lied to. You swallow the frustration, the pain, and move on. You should always keep going, Maisie, no matter what happens to you. But people like her ... They just give up." Tanya gave a humorless laugh. "Aline was tricked, she was arrested, and what did she do? She sat and cried. She let them arrest her. Did nothing. She still does nothing!"

"You know, you shouldn't judge other people so harshly," Geoffrey murmured from our side. " You don't know what she went through—"

"I don't know what she went through? Ah, for God's sake." Tanya rolled her eyes. "My mother was deceived by my father all his life, he took everything from her, everything. Money, possessions, dignity, freedom, whatever you can think he did, he probably did. God, he took everything he could until he finally took her life. At that point, it was already a blessing, the poor woman. At the age of eleven, I ran away from that hellish house, lived on the streets until I found a Social Worker I trusted and, guess what happened? Yeah, they made a fool out of me again. My life was a succession of me trusting the wrong people and then they screwed me up, but do you see me here crying? No. Do you know why? Because crying does nothing but make your eyes red and your nose stuffy."

I was silent watching Tanya lift her head and look at Geoffrey with disdain.

"Then don't come here to tell me that I don't know what she went through." concluded, turning his back on us. "The only difference is that I decided that instead of spending the rest of my life lamenting the things I couldn't change, I was going to do something to change the things I could."

I followed Tanya in silence, not knowing what to say to her. There were millions of things running through my mind. In a way, I felt ... sorry for Tanya.

I was sure she would hate me if she knew that - but I couldn't lie to myself.

As soon as I met her, I had the impression that Tanya had a terrible history, and even now I imagine I didn't even know half of what she had lived through.

And the way she maintained her elegant posture and her head held high was both admirable and ... lonely. Sad.

Almost as if listening to what I was thinking, Tanya shot me an annoyed look before turning around on the bench.

"Very well, what's the plan this time?"

"Let's find Malach," Hugo replied, looking at Tanya strangely. "We have to take Aline there and listen to the rest of his plan."

"I just hope it's not a bunch of nonsense," Tanya grunted, turning forward and adjusting the height of the seat. " although I won't be surprised if it is. Malach has been making a mess after another."

"Ah, don't be so hard on Tanya. The plan to free Aline worked very well." Hugo smiled at Aline, but she either didn't notice or didn't care. He had a distant, lost look, almost as if he were well, far away.

Hugo frowned, as if he was annoyed by something, but as soon as our eyes met, he smiled, giving me a wink.

"Everything will work out, Maisie. You will see!"

Although I knew that his heart was in the right place, I couldn't help but feel anxious. My stomach was so full of butterflies that I wouldn't be surprised to see some of them pop out of my mouth at any moment.

No, wait. That would be disgusting...

In any case, I turned on the bench again to face the path ahead of us. The moon was the queen of the sky, its warm glow illuminating the seemingly endless road ahead of us. The shades of purple and dark blue, flecked with bright silvery dots, colored the night, making the normally gloomy atmosphere almost bubbling with magic.

I couldn't help thinking about what was going on at home, I couldn't help praying for my friends' safety... But there was something that had changed. Something that would never be the same. Something that would never again allow me to make the same mistakes as before.

That something ... it was me.

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Hello everyone!

How are you doing? Did you learn something new while in lockdown? I'm trying to learn how to code, and I have to admit I'm finding it rather fun :)

Praying that you and your loved ones are well and healthy. Stay safe!

Originally published: May 5th, 2020

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