(Emily, I'm Sorry)
ACT ONE—CHAPTER THREE

1996

Practice was far more tense than usual, after all the stakes were a lot higher this time around. Despite being seemingly undefeated in the games throughout the season, Emily was still a near nervous wreck about Nationals.

The teenager had spent most of the previous season on the bench from a knee injury, so she already felt very behind throughout the season.

And then Tai's talk of freezing out Allie certainly was not helping her nerves. Who was to say she wouldn't end up trying the same with Emily.

Coach had explained to the girls that the day's practice would be a scrimmage with JV. So, what should've been fairly low stress, felt a lot more intimidating than usual.

Laura Lee had been insistent on a prayer, her sickingly sweet smile accompanying every word. Emily was envious that the girl has effortless blind faith in their religion.

Emily used to have that too.

Then things changed. She changed.

The soccer ball rolled across the field at high speeds, passing between the members of the Varsity team. All was going well until the ball was passed to Allie.

When the freshman missed that play, Emily visibly saw Taissa's entire demeanor change.

"Come on Allie! That should've been yours." Coach spoke sternly after blowing into the whistle.

Taissa jogged up to him, "I wanna switch sides. I'll take Allie."

"Okay." He nodded.

Emily nervously tapped against her leg as she watched Taissa pull the red penny over her head. Nothing good was going to come from this, and Emily knew that.

"You okay, Em?" Ash asked gently, approaching her sister while they all waited to take positions again.

"Yeah—yeah, I'm fine." Emily motioned around, "I just have a weird feeling about all of this."

"It'll be okay." Ash said, with a small reassuring smile. The blonde watched as Ash jogged back to her position. Usually those words brought her a sense of comfort when they came from Ashley's mouth, this time was different though.

Emily kept her eye on the ball as it spun across the field, moving from person to person. Her heart rate increased as Taissa practically shoved Allie out of the way.

The freshman looked totally taken back, "it's the game. Step it up."

"It's not helping, Tai." Shauna stated, "We can't freeze her out."

"Then she's gonna have to learn to play under pressure."

"Tai, maybe this isn't the best—" Emily pipped up, but the other girl shook her head, "We have to do something."

Allie did end up stepping it up, causing Taissa to sigh, "Finally."

The ball rolled across the field to Shauna and Allie called out for it. Emily was relieved, they had nothing to worry about if Allie kept this up.

Unfortunately things took a turn for the worst. Allie ran after the ball, but Taissa came in from the side trying to kick it away from her. Their legs got tangled and a sickening crack rang through the air.

Allie screamed out in pain, holding her leg, and Emily froze in her tracks trying not think about the phantom pain the radiated from her own knee.

"Holy fuck." Coach hovered over the crying girl, this was so much worse than any injury they had seen in the past.

"Uh—gi-give her some space guys," Emily pulled Van back a bit.

Misty sprinted over in true Misty fashion trying to help the girl. However, this was a situation where real doctors were needed.

"Jesus Misty, get the fuck out of the way." Coach pushed her back, "Look, we need an ambulance. There's a phone in Bill's office."

"You mean Coach Martinez?" Misty asked, "Right! Yes! Go." He then looked to Shauna and Lottie, "Keep her calm. Don't move her."

"Hey, hey it's okay." Shauna whispered, "Try not to move."

Taissa hovered as they tried to comfort her, "Tai? Take a breath, okay?" Emily placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I—I," Taissa looked at Emily, "I know." Emily whispered, "I know."

The locker room was overly quiet, everyone was shaken. Emily, sat quietly holding her knees up to her chest.

Jackie stood, glancing over all of them, "I know we're all really worried about Allie,"

Emily sighed, she may not like the girl very much, but no one deserves anything like this.

"But, it might not be as bad as it looks." Jackie continued.

Emily shook her head, and Natalie spoke up, "We could see her fucking bone, Jackie."

Natalie paused for a beat, "I'm pretty sure it's exactly as bad as it looks."

"Oh god." Van sighed, "I'm gonna throw up."

"Yeah—" Emily whispered.

"I mean, we're still a team and we still have each other." Jackie spoke.

"The lord works in mysterious ways." Laura Lee spoke, and Natalie slammed her locker, "Nice work, Taissa."

"Jesus Christ Laura Lee can you just shut up about God for once?" Emily half-shouted, she immediately felt bad.

A sinking feeling settling in, but she didn't apologize. "Emily-"

Instead she shook her head and slung the duffel bag over her shoulder, leaving the room.

Ash got up about to go after her sister, "Sorry Laura Lee," she whispered, "Em—Em is having a difficult time with all of this right now."

That much had been true, Emily was having a really hard time with just about everything. The blonde sat on a curb just outside the school nervously fiddling with the dainty necklace.

"This is all so fucked up."

Emily turned over her shoulder, finding Natalie leaning against the brick wall.

"Yeah," Emily sighed, "it kind of is."

"But," Natalie moved to sit beside her on the curb, lighting a cigarette in the process, "It's not the only thing bothering you, is it?"

Emily looked at her for a moment before, shaking her head, "Not really, no."

"I heard you snap at Laura Lee—I thought you were into all that religious stuff." Natalie inhaled the smoke.

"I used to be," Emily said, dropping the cross necklace back down on to her neck.

"What changed?"

"I did." Emily sighed.

Natalie paused briefly, offering the blonde a small sympathetic smile, "Here,"

Emily looked down at the cigarette that the other girl was offering up.

"Fuck it," she muttered, taking it from Natalie's hand.

Emily's parents were always strict about this sort of thing—but she had already ruined her perfect image...so who cares?

The blonde dragged in a breathe of the smoke, at first she broke into a fit of coughs. Choking on the fumes.

"First time?" Natalie half-joked, she knew well enough that Emily didn't smoke, or drink, or anything.

"What could have possibly lead you to that conclusion?" Emily deadpanned, dragging in another breath.

She understood now—why Nat liked those things. The little poison that filled her lungs, did bring Emily some relief.

"I understand you, Em." Nat whispered after a few minutes.

Emily was unsure of what the girl meant—but the words still brought her some comfort.

"Thanks for this, Nat." Emily stomped out the cigarette, "See you at that dumb party?"

Natalie nodded, "Yeah—and anytime Em."

—
"Did you come with an excuse for the party, yet?" Emily asked, catching up to her sister.

"I thought it was your turn for that," Ash responded, "Why do you smell like smoke?"

Emily rolled her eyes at the question, it was basically the equivalent of, 'Why is little miss perfect, smoking?'

"Dad is pissed at me right now. He's not gonna believe a word out of my mouth—and shut up, like you haven't smoked." Emily nudged the girl.

"Oh I have, believe me. I just wasn't expecting it out of you." Ash said, "Why is Dad so pissed at you?"

Emily had thought about telling Ash multiple times, but the truth of the matter is she was terrified her sister wouldn't want to be around her.

"I—I can't tell you that."

"Seriously?" Ash exclaimed as they reached Shauna's car.

"Just drop it." Emily snapped, "Please."