How long has my sanity been disintegrating
How long have I been fading
How have I only now noticed
That all the cards on my life have folded

How did I get here
When did I gather so much fear
Why am I so frightened when you call me dear

When did I dig this never-ending hole
When did I start playing this role
Why did I hide my true face
Why do I lie in any case

Why can't I get out
No matter how much I scream and shout
When did I become what I hated
Why did I become so jaded

When was the first time pain took control
When I just accepted, I was a failure after all
When did I lose the fight
When did my soul lose its light

These are the questions I can never answer
Pain or peace, I'm controlled by the former
I don't know when it all changed
Perhaps it was how I was raised.