"And though she be but little, she is fierce" -Shakespeare (Midsummer Night's Dream)

-

After letting Sidney lead me to a lone bench in the recreational zone, I find myself telling her everything. How I had purchased the 64-ounce jug of medicine, per my usual. It was enough to last me a month and being the lazy soul I am; I didn't want to worry about going back to the Vitanox Dose Center every few days. I detail how I had set it down on my bedside table so I wouldn't lose it.

"I had a nightmare about dad," I confess quietly, staring at my hands. "I must have been thrashing around a lot because in the morning... I got out of bed, and it was on the floor. There was only three days' worth of medicine left."

Sidney just gapes at me in full-blown shock. "How long ago did you last have it?" she whispers.

My throat clogs up, and a tear escapes down my cheek. "It's been five days."

Sidney lets out a choked sob. "Amby... you only have..." She can't finish the sentence, but she doesn't need to.

The disease only takes a week to kill. I only have two days, max.

"Can't you get more?" she pleads, not even trying to hide the flow of tears streaming down her face. I swallow, hard, shaking my head. A few ounces and I could have filed a claim. Sixty ounces, however, was a different story. No way they would buy my story that I had "spilled" it.

We both know I can't. The regulations make sure of that—no person can purchase more than the allowed dosage, even if they lose it or run out. The law was put in place for a good reason: to stop the uprise in overdoses and combat the junkies. Vitanox isn't super addictive, but if you take too much, your body rejects it. The process is slow as your body shuts down all vital functions. A high and drowsy effect warps your reality and perceptions. Junkies used to beg on the streets for 'just another ounce' before the regulations went into place. Now nobody has an ounce to spare; If they did, it would cost them their life.

"Don't tell mom," I tell my sister, suddenly firm. She looks at me with tear-filled eyes.

"Why not? She deserves to know. She's going to find out soon, when-" she breaks off into sobs again, but I place my hands on her shoulders and shake her until her eyes meet mine.

"I don't want her to give me hers, and you know she'll do that if she finds out. You can't tell her, got it?" I'm almost shouting in poor Sidney's face now, but it is imperative she understands. If my mother finds out, she'll refuse to take her own medicine, giving it up for me. I can't let her do that.

I feel the stares burning holes into my back, more insistent now that I'm worked up.

Shake it off. It's the disease.

I attempt to shut out the world as I focus on my little sister.

After what feels like hours, Sidney nods. It's a small movement, but it gives me more relief than I've felt all week.

"But... you need to go to the Ward," Sidney tells me, and my stomach tightens. She must have noticed my discomfort because she continues, "That's my condition. I won't tell mom if you go to the Ward."

"Fine," I say immediately—anything to keep them all alive.

Sidney throws her arms around me, holding on so tightly I can barely breathe. I squeeze back as if it's the last time we will ever see each other. It very well might be.

"Come on. We don't want the others to worry."

Sidney blinks the tears from her soft brown eyes. I ruffle her unruly charcoal hair, but my teasing does little to brighten her mood as she sulks back towards the house.

Glancing around, I sigh. It's getting worse. The mix of colors dance across my vision as I chase after the moody teen.

**********

I have to admit, Sid is putting on a good show. Her radiant smile hasn't dropped since we walked through the front door. She even smiled at the Testing Admins, whom she loathes. Three years back, they confiscated her relay for unauthorized app access. She was insanely smart and talented when it came to technology. Most sixteen-year-olds would have dismissed the ordeal after a few years, but not Sid. She was always a spitfire and could certainly hold a grudge. I only hope she can find the will to forgive me.

"Amby?"

I turn to see my youngest sibling staring at me with confusion.

"What is it, Naomi?" I quickly kneel beside her and take her hands. She tilts her head to the side and questions me, "Why are you crying?"

I jerk one hand up to my face and feel the moisture there.

"I was just... I was thinking about dad." Dad and I had been close, so if anyone else overheard they would probably buy the excuse.

At this, Naomi beams her pearly white teeth. "He'll come back. He promised."

Dad had disappeared when Naomi was only a toddler. The only things she knew about him were the stories we told her. These stories always ended with a promise to return home. A promise that he would be back someday.

A promise that he would never be able to keep.

Mother and I were the only ones old enough to remember the facts: Dad was dead. The disease that had already conquered over half the population got to him. I heard them arguing from my bedroom only a week prior. He had refused to take his dose after Miguel, his best friend and coworker, was defeated by the illness. The stubborn man started going insane after a few days, and a week later he just... disappeared. His coworkers told us he hadn't even shown up at work that day.

I never dared to tell my sisters and brother, not even Sid. From then on, my stories became urban legends shared at the dinner table.

"Yeah," I tell Naomi, pulling out of my reminition and trying my best to smile through tears. "He did, didn't he?"

Naomi giggles and bounces away, content with my response. On her way into the kitchen, she almost knocks mom off her feet.

"Easy there, munchkin! If you keep this up, I won't have either leg!"

I roll my eyes at her, but I can't stop the smile from raising my cheeks. My mother is the strongest, proudest person I know. Even though she was only born with one leg, she never let that stop her, and joked about the fact as often as she liked, which was quite often.

"We have all missed you so much, sweetie!" she forces her prosthetic limb to move forward so she can engulf me into a hug. My body relaxes as I melt into her warmth; her sweet sugary scent finding its way to my nose. The hug feels too short as she pulls away.

I scoff and cross my arms.

"Yeah, everyone misses me except for Tommy. I haven't seen him at all."

Mom plants her hands firmly on her hips and shouts, making Naomi, Sidney, and I all jump. "Thomas Michael Torrez! Come down here this instant!"

I flinch at her words. She might be small, but Maria Torrez is undoubtedly fierce.

Tommy appears from upstairs. His head hung low as if waiting for the verbal ambush. Out of all of us, he was the only one to be blessed with dad's straight, sleek hair. Tonight it provides excellent shade from mom's reprimanding tone.

His moody show fades when he sees me beside mom.

"Yo! Amb! What's on the line?"

I quirk my eyebrow. It was hard to keep up with the teen lingo these days. I am a full 11 years older than him, but this is the first time my age truly shines through.

I can't help but chuckle at his words. I wipe the remaining moisture from my cheeks and pull him into a hug.

"What's on the line? You know we said that when I was in school, right?" I shudder as I remember my dreaded uniform.

"Oh yeah? Well, it's actually cool to say it now." he scrambles to get out of my grasp and flashes his devilish grin. It always warms my soul to see these rascals. The intrusive and depressing thoughts kick at my skull as I laugh and enjoy the comfort of my family, but I beat them back into the deep crevices of my mind.

Looking around at their shining faces, I notice Sidney's peppy smile has finally faded. She looks exhausted as her sad eyes follow me. As if on command, her frown quite literally turns upside down, but that isn't all. Her entire face is precariously placed the wrong way around.

I rub my eyes vigorously to clear the intrusive hallucination and pray I can make it through the rest of the evening.

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