_____

THE two were engulfed into silence, neither of them knowing where to start. That is, until Jungwon cleared his throat, opening his mouth to speak.

"I'm really sorry, Eunhee. I didn't mean to hurt you." Jungwon spoke, attempting to hide the wavering in his voice.

Eunhee shook her head, a frown on her lips. She still avoided his gaze, not knowing if she was ready to meet it just yet.

"You shouldn't be apologizing, Jungwon. So please don't. I'm the one who needs to apologize. I'm so sorry I put you through that. If I wouldn't have been an idiot and just believed you from the start none of this would've happened." Eunhee muttered, punching her thighs out of anger and stress, aimed towards herself.

"Hey, don't blame yourself. Just like Heeseung-hyung said, any one of us would've fallen for that. Also, please do not harm yourself like that." Jungwon frowned, reaching out to grab onto her hands.

Eunhee paused, before quickly shaking her head and pulling her hands away.

"You shouldn't be doing that, Jungwon."

The boy furrowed his brows in confusion, "I'm sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

"..you didn't."

"Then, what's the matter?"

"Me. I don't want you to be with me." She muttered out, blinking away the forming tears at her waterline as she took a step back, creating more distance between him and herself.

"What..? Eunhee, please don't say that." Jungwon clenched his jaw, shaking his head as he furrowed his brows, holding back tears of his own. "You don't mean it, right?"

Eunhee stayed silent, unsure of how exactly to respond. Her gaze stayed focused on her hands, which were currently going numb due to the cold temperature.

"I'm so sorry, Jungwon. I don't think I'm good for you." She finally spoke, hesitation evident in her voice. Atlas, she finally looked up, meeting his sharp gaze. She felt suffocated under his stare, her heart beating loudly as she took a shaky breath.

Guilt.

Guilt and hurt was all she felt. Yet, she thought she felt selfish for feeling hurt, as she was the one who was hurting Jungwon, who did nothing.

He has tried to reason with her-- to tell her he really didn't do anything. He never kissed someone else. Yet, she saw that and chose to not side with him. She was scared.

Worried that she'd make the wrong decision, and end up feeling more broken than ever. She regretted every single moment she spent not believing him, and she couldn't imagine what he must've been going through in those times.

Therefore, she had embedded into her brain that he deserved someone else-- someone who he could rely on, and trust they wouldn't hurt him, always staying by his side and believing him in tough times, such as these.

Eunhee believed she couldn't offer him the care and affection he deserved, and for that, it scared her.

The last thing she'd want to do would be put in the position of Yang Jungwon breaking up with her, due to not fitting his standards.

The boy in front of her bit down on his bottom lip, feeling his eyes start to burn more with tears.

"Choi Eunhee, what are you talking about? I want to be with you, and only you. Please don't let some stupid girl from school ruin that. I know myself, and I know you're sure as hell not bad for me." Jungwon's voice cracked ever so slightly as he spoke, staring at her with sincerity.

Once again, silence engulfed their surroundings, both feeling too upset to utter a single word.

A minute passed, and Eunhee had gained the courage to speak. "I'm sorry, Jungwon." She muttered out, voice barely over a whisper.

Jungwon shook his head, bringing his hand up to his face to wipe the stray tears that had streamed down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let this happen. You don't understand how much you mean to me, Eunhee. You have no idea." Jungwon laughed dryly, sniffling as he stared at her with eyes full of sadness.

"I don't think you understand how much you mean to me, Yang Jungwon." She repeated his words, gaze shifting down once more. She couldn't handle the eye contact any longer.

Her overflowing jar of emotions felt as if they were going to burst at any given moment, and looking at him wasn't helping.

"Then why do this? Why are you pushing me away, Eunhee?" He questioned, taking a step towards her.

The girl paused, vision becoming blurry from the tears gathering at her waterline.

"Because, I'm aware of the fact that you are able to find somebody that is better than you.. better than me." She replied, tilting her whole head down causing her hair to cover her face, of which she was grateful for as she felt embarrassed to be seen in such a vulnerable state by him.

"Just because I am able to, doesn't mean I want to. You're the one I want, so please don't make this hard on the both of us." Jungwon begged, lip quivering as he reached out for her hand once again.

He gave her cold, shaky hand a soft squeeze, intertwining their fingers. Eunhee shook her head at his words, before letting out a choked laugh. "I'm really sorry."

Jungwon frowned, pressing his lips together in a thin line as he looked off into the distance, ignoring the seemingly endless amount of tears that spilled from his eyes.

Eunhee looked up at him through her blurry vision, hesitating before stepping closer and crashing into his arms.

One last time.

She wanted to be in his hold, for one last time. She felt selfish for it, but she wanted to be in his comfortable hold once more.

Although, it was unsettling to her-- to both of them. Eunhee's heart ached, squeezing her eyes shut as she took fistfuls of his blue sweatshirt he wore, feeling his arms slowly but surely wrap around her waist, hugging her tightly.

As if it was their last.

For what seemed like the nth time that day, silence surrounded them -- the only thing heard being the faint laughter and chatter amongst students as they conversed with one another from the inside of the building.

The soft breeze.

Fallen leaves crunching as people stepped on them whilst walking down the sidewalk.

Cars passed by rather quickly.

And atlas, their shared broken sobs as they held each other tightly, one last time.

After a few minutes, Eunhee was the first to pull away, taking notice of the way the sky turned darker, as well as the way the air got colder.

".. I'll head home." She muttered, earning a small nod from the boy, standing before her.

"Okay. Bye, Eunhee." He sniffled, forcing a small smile at his lips as he watched her figure grow smaller, walking down the sidewalk.

Eunhee wiped the tears from her cheeks, staring blankly ahead of her.

Suddenly, a hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her from going any further. Eunhee clenched her jaw as a familiar voice filled her ears, head hung low as she forcefully pushed the hand off of her.

"Eunhee--!"

"Stay the hell away from me, Hong Jiwoo." The girl spoke between gritted teeth, fastening her steps as she walked away, leaving Jiwoo dumbfounded as she stared at her figure from behind.

_________

AUTHOR'S CORNER
double update AGAIN wow

i wonder how many chapters are left?? 🤔

SORRY don't be angry at me for making it angsty

the way i could've made them make up right then and there but i didn't lmao :')

i literally had a whole separate chapter written out that was complete fluff tbh and the eunwon ship was repaired

was so close to publishing it but i couldn't find any satisfaction with myself whilst going over it a little bit and decided to completely change it last minute lol

also i feel like i referenced a lot of songs in this chapter unintentionally but it's fine 😍🤞

i made cookies

so i'm going to go eat them now

lol
february 20th, 2023 -- 11:46pm

not proofread.