Hi, Cupcakes!!!

As of September 17th, 2024, DEATH IS MY RIDE OR DIE IS PUBLISHED! WOO-HOO!!!!! It is now available in bookstores and everywhere books are sold. New scenes, new one-liners, and so many MORE iconic Death & Faith moments that you simply don't want to miss! Don't wait to get your book now, or you'll miss out on some of my favorite FADE (Death&Faith) moments yet!! ;)

PURCHASE FROM AMAZON HERE

PURCHASE FROM BARNES & NOBLE HERE

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SETTING: A cement basement. The walls are old and cracked and there are dry and wet bloodstains all over the place. Death is sprawled out like a cat on a massive chair that resembles a throne. Between both hands, he stretches out a pair of Faith's skull panties. He wears his long, thick cloak, which outlines his bulging muscles. The cloak is hitched because of his position, revealing a portion of his leather pants and untied combat boots. Behind his throne-chair, Scytherella gleams under a flickering florescent light.

Death his whips his hooded head towards his audience. "Hello, I missed me too," he begins. "I know what else you're thinking. Why the fuck am I wearing clothes? I know, how disappointing." He looks at his gloved fingertips, as if he was bored and checking his nails. Under his breath, he mutters, "Looks like Faith Williams isn't the only prude." He sings. "Hashtag, shade..."

"If you don't know who I am"–he stops and throws back his head, laughing–"well of course you know who I am, I'm the whole damn series. But maybe you're confused because you were supposed to be reading about some teenage girl boo-hooing over her boyish stepbrother, and instead, you accidently clicked on my masculine, hot ass." He shrugs. "It happens. I can't promise there will be any boyish stepbrothers in this book, but there are a hell of a lot of puns and...sex jokes?"

Death leisurely stands up to his massive height and his tongue darts out from the shadow over his face. He slowly licks something off his fingers and stalks forward, clasping his hands behind his back. As he walks, metal weapons move underneath his cloak. "Let's get down to business, my little slaves. And we aren't defeating any Huns. This is Book 2 of the REWRITTEN series. If you've read Death Is My BFF Rewritten and you're here now, then congratulations, you can read. If you didn't read Death Is My BFF Rewritten, then I'll act it out for you right now."

The camera pans to massive neon flashes in the background that reads: Death's Overly Dramatic, Biased, and Somewhat Inaccurate Interpretation of Death Is My BFF Rewritten!

Death stumbles forward, grabbing his stomach and switches to falsetto. "I'm Faith. Ugh, poor me. I was shot when I was little and my mother wouldn't stop, like, sobbing. Like, ouch. Hopefully someone will make time for me in his very busy schedule and complicated but blissful life, without annoying female humans whining in his ear, and save my pathetic self."

He walks to the other side of the room and changes posture, morphing into his own character. He strikes a pose as if he's hot shit and flicks his wrist at the air. "I'm Death, yadda-yadda. Here. Live, or whatever, but I get soul your when you're 18."

He puts his hands on his hips and changes his voice to a sassy falsetto one. "I'm eighteen year old Faith, and you better recognize. I'm a huge B-I-T-C-H and don't think for a second I'm giving you my soul without a fight." He smacks his ass. "If I didn't have big boobs and a tasteful underwear drawer, Death wouldn't even put up with my whiny self–"

"Your shoes are untied."

Death snaps out of character and looks to his right. Faith strolls into the cement basement wearing a black t-shirt, medium washed jeans, and black combat boots. Her straight black hair is in a braid and she's wearing smoky eye makeup.

"That's right, it's me." She steps forward and Death quietly sniffs the air. "Is that how it really went, Death?"

"Well I wasn't finished, woman." He shoos her. "You're in my limelight."

"Don't you shoo me."

Death growls lowly. "Who let you in here? This is my time to shine. Hello, I'm the one whose name is in every title in the books, It's not called Bitch Is My BFF. I'm in high demand."

"You need me. Without me, you'd have nobody to scratch your head and give you a cookie when you're a cat."

"That was one time–" he growls.

"And without me, you'd have a lot less one-liners."

"Everything I say is quote worthy–

"And there wouldn't be any Death Is my BFF. And you wouldn't have any panties to steal. "

He hisses.

Faith takes out a water sprayer and sprays him, making him recoil back.

"I can't believe you were going to do the introduction without me!" she screams, spraying him again. "You said we were starting at six! Good thing I came thirty minutes early to practice my lines–!"

"It's not my fault I'm meant to be a star," he interrupts, snatching the water sprayer right out of her hands before she can even blink. "I mean, look at me." He unscrews the water sprayer and dumps it down his cloaked chest, running a finger down his flat stomach, highlighting the ridges of his abs beneath his cloak. Sexy music plays in the background and he drops to the floor, crawling seductively towards the camera. His voice is low and raspy. "I'm tall, dark, and a bad angel." He rolls onto his back and channels his inner sexually frustrated demon. "I'm a wet dream."

Intense, suspenseful film score music begins to play.

Death snaps out of his playful act. "What's going on? That's not my sexy music."

Faith reaches under his hood, forcing him to his feet.

"Not the hair!" Death screeches.

"That's our theme song!" she says. "We're supposed to wrap it up."

He steps towards her. "Fucking finally." He starts to unzip his pants. "I've been waiting six books for this–"

She smacks his chest. "Not a condom, Death. Our lines!"

He growls and zips up his pants. "What lines? I was just kinda saying things off the top of my head and acting cute. We have lines?"

"You were supposed to come prepared." She sighs loudly and takes out a piece of paper from her pockets. "Read when it's your turn."

"Death steps into the shot and stands behind Faith, staring down the camera–"

"That's the stage direction!" She points to what he's supposed to read. "That's what you read.

"Interesting."

Faith turns towards the audience and gets into character. "Welcome to the second installment of Katarina E. Tonk's Rewritten Death Is My BFF series. When she was fifteen, Kat created Death and I and began writing the original Death series from scratch. Although she keeps the original series close to her heart, and it will always be on Wattpad, she finds has decided to rewrite the series to fit her new vision–"

"What do you mean, she created me?" Death interrupts.

"Kat is also rewriting the Death series to provide a clearer plot and character development for publishers. Publishing a book is a very demanding process that requires a lot of rewriting. It's been difficult for her to rewrite again for the rewrite series, and especially the original series, because of the changes that have already been made to her manuscript and the stress that follows that."

Death let's his head fall to his chest and pretends to sleep.

"She cannot disclose what is going on with the publishing process of Death Is My BFF," Faith continues, "but she does believe the series will be in good hands soon! She asks that everyone be patient with her updates!"

Faith stares at the camera, smiling. Her gaze hitches to fake sleeping Death, and she nudges him. "Your line," she hisses.

Death lifts his head and reads slowly with terrible acting. "Death Is My BFFLAD Rewritten will be sexier, crazier, darker, and more action packed than ever before. If you've forgotten what happened at the end of Death Is My BFF Rewritten, she suggests that you reread book 1 of the rewritten series. The Death series will be a little more mature from here on out, since Kat predicts there is a chance the Death Is My BFF series will be an adult or more mature YA series."

Death balls the sheet into a tight ball and throws it. "Fuck, YES! Now that's what I want to hear, Kitty Kat! I'm ready for bleep noise and bleep noise all over my bleep noise when I'm touching my bleep noise and groping Faith's bleep noise." He twerks. "Bleep noise, bleep noise, bleep noise!"

Faith's mouth falls open.

Death grabs his crotch and squeezes. "Meow."

FADE TO BLACK.

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Don't miss this new and improved version of DIMROD and help me spread the word of this series to your friends by posting it on your socials! Tik Tok, Instagram, Twitter, anywhere you can, and don't forget to tag me so that I can see it because I love to see you guys with the book!!!! <3

Thanks so much for your support!!!

Love,
Kat