Peter just broke up with me.

I was finding it so hard to believe. After all the endless promises and the, I will always be there for you, I have no future without you, you're my home, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and every other mushy crap he had said to me. He still bailed out of our relationship just like that—without a second thought. He didn't even give me a chance to explain myself.

I thought love was supposed to fill you up and always leave room for the other person, I guess that was wrong then. Or maybe I was the one with a problem. I mean, how could everyone I love so much be leaving me like that? Am I in this world to just be alone? To be unloved? To suffer?

Maybe I am just a mistake.

I tried so hard to stifle the tears of hurt that rolled down my cheeks in ghostly trails as I walked back home with Peter's breakup letter in hand. You know, that feeling when you're somewhere physically but your mind is just completely out of it and you can't seem to focus on anything tangible? That was the exact state I was in as my feet dragged me along the streets, that I didn't notice the bike rider speeding towards me while I crossed the road to the other side.

It was when the bike screeched to a halt, brakes applied so abruptly that the man riding almost toppled over so close to me, that I realized I had just been in an almost-accident. My mindless state dissipated, the haze on my mind lifting as my eyes grew wide in comprehension.

"Wetin dey worry you?! You no dey look road before you cross ni? If person hit you now, you go dey fault the bike rider. People no go see sey na una no dey look road o!" The bike rider lamented angrily, groaning as he twisted the bike handle to correct the swerve the sudden brake had caused.

"I'm so sorry, Sir." I apologized, genuinely sorry as guilt and the fear of what had almost happened ate me up.

The little ruckus had attracted a few nosy onlookers.

"Na you sabi o. Just thank God sey the bike no hit you." That said, the bike rider kick-started his bike and zoomed off, leaving no room for apology or further deliberation. Crisis averted. Thank God.

As I watched the bike rider leave, I didn't know when tears started streaming down my face until I tasted salt. That was the last thing I wanted though—to cry on the street. I didn't want anyone to see me and start asking false sympathetic questions.

I was already wiping the tears off my face, eyes darting around at the crowd of onlookers that were slowly dispersing, when a passerby stopped in front of me.

"Hey, young girl are you okay?" He asked. He was a tall, slender man who looked to be in his forties. In his hand was a big Bible and some pamphlets. He could easily pass for an itinerant preacher, but who knows, maybe he was just a regular Christian who was on his way to church.

I wanted to ignore him and just walk past, but he stood in my way.

"Young girl, why are you crying? Were you flogged in school or...are you hungry?" The man prodded, unrelenting as his face took on a concerned look. What does he care!

"Old man, can't you mind your business?!" I snapped at him in pent up anger and regretted it almost immediately as I watched disappointment flash in his eyes. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you. I'm just...I'm sorry sir."

"It's okay. I'm here if you need a sympathetic ear." His voice was calm and I looked at him, wondering who he was and why he was doing this for a stranger. Most people would have eyed me scornfully and left me alone after my rude remark, but he was still standing there, his voice holding no grudge.

I wanted to tell him the reason why I was crying, but then I thought better of it. I didn't know this man from anywhere and even though he was being nice, I've learnt to never judge a book by its cover, so it was best I just kept it to myself.

"Don't worry, Sir. I'm fine." I said, managing a tight-lipped smile.

"Well if you say so," He shrugged. "But I have something to tell you. Hope you don't mind?"

I was curious to hear what the man had to say so I said, "No, I don't."

"Do you know that there's someone out there who loves you very much? Even much more than your parents love you..." He was starting to get on my nerves with the talk of love and parents but I tried to maintain my calm, arms crossing in front of my chest with a small frown.

I don't have parents mister man!

"...Much more than your friends or all those boys that claim to love you do. He even loves you more than you love yourself, if I can say that. He has done everything for you to live a peaceful life. All you just have to do is trust him—"

"Sorry sir, but I'm done trusting people." I said, not minding if he was done talking or not. "The one I love the most, the one I trusted the most to always stay with me didn't even think twice before leaving me, so why would I ever trust anybody again?"

The man's lips pulled up into a knowing smile. "The person you love might have betrayed your trust, but believe me, this person I'm talking about never fails. His love is undying. It's not even based on con—"

"Wait, who's this person you're talking about?" I cut him off. I was beginning to think Peter sent this man to me.

"His name is Jesus."

I almost hissed when I heard that—talk about disappointment! Was it the same Jesus that was watching me suffer on earth and wasn't doing anything about it that this man was talking about? If it was, I didn't want to hear it. I was done believing in any God or Jesus. If they existed and they truly loved me, I wouldn't be suffering this much.

"Nah, he doesn't love me." I shook my head in disagreement.

"He does..."

"Well sorry sir, I need to start going home now. I'm late." I said and walked past him.

"Wait young girl! Jesus really loves and he wants you to know that! All he wants you to do is believe in him and you're forever saved." He persisted, trailing behind me as I increased my walking pace. He still didn't relent.

"Leave me alone!" I turned back and lashed out angrily. "Take your Jesus elsewhere. As for me, I don't wanna hear it!" My voice shook with my last word, emotions suddenly clogging up my throat. I turned around and ran as fast as my legs could mange to the house, tears clouding my vision in an endless race down my cheeks.

By the time I got to the front of the gate, I was panting heavily and my knees were screaming from the sudden exercise exerted from them. Gingerly, I wiped the tears off my face and made sure my breath was even before entering the house.

No one was in the living room when I got in. Thank goodness! And I quickly made my way to my room and shut the door behind me. The tears wouldn't let up once behind closed doors and I let them be, my heart screaming in pain I never knew existed. Is this heartbreak? No wonder some people vow to never love again after being heartbroken. I was hurt, more than any physical wounds could cause and it hurt even more because nothing I did could stop it. Nothing, except he came back and told me it was all a joke.

Was it all a joke? Was I joke to him? Is that why it was so easy for him to leave while I remained here, hurting when it wasn't even my fault. I cried so hard, so hard because the only source of my happiness had left me and as if that wasn't enough, my friends that I trusted the most in the world had been the reason behind everything. I still couldn't believe Adam and Gbemi could have done something like that, but I'd seen and heard proof with my very own eyes and ears. So not only had I lost Peter, I also lost my best friends too.

Coming to the city suddenly became my biggest regret.

The next day, I jolted awake due to the sound of aunt Caro's scolding and nagging from outside my room. The day had dawned already and my eyes grew wide as I remembered I hadn't done the dishes before going to bed last night. Crying myself to sleep with a heavy heart didn't exactly leave room for things like that.

I was hurt. Hurt beyond what I understood the meaning of the word to be and I just felt tired from the inside. Like a heavy rock had been placed on my soul, weighing me down and smashing me at the same time.

"Daniella!" Aunt Caro was banging and pulling at my door vigorously and I snapped to attention immediately, trying to get out of my melancholy state but failing terribly.

"Ma!" I called back, my throat hurting from the exercise as I got up tentatively. My legs wobbled as I moved towards the door, but before I could reach a hand out to open it, Aunt Caro bursted through and landed a heavy slap on my face.

I passed out.

***

Minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months could have passed when I gasped awake after a gush of cold water hit my face and I opened my eyes to see aunt Caro standing before me with an empty bucket in hand.

"Daniella, do you want me to send you out of my house?!" Aunt Caro asked, one arm akimbo as her left foot hit the floor repeatedly in a restless manner.

I wiped excess water from my face and groaned as I tried to get up. After two trials, I finally stood on wobbling feet.

"Okay first of all, why are you not in school?" The questioning began.

"Em...I'm sick ma." That wasn't a total lie, seeing as my heart was hurting like it'd been in a fire accident and had suffered a seventy-degree burn. I just wanted to skip school because there was no way I would concentrate in the state I was in. Plus, I wasn't ready to face Gbemi and Adam yet.

"So, that's why you left the plates we used to eat yesterday unwashed, left the kitchen untidy and didn't even warm the leftovers? Who are you leaving those chores for? For your slave to do them for you because you're madam now?!" Aunt Caro lashed, uncaring whether I was actually sick or not.

"No it's because I'm sick ma." I answered, my voice low and shaky.

"Before I open my eyes and close it," Aunt Caro said, widening her eyes with a finger pointing outside my door. "You must be in that kitchen doing your chores!"

"Yes ma," I said, but as I wanted to make my way out of the room, she hit my back with the back of her hand, causing me to stagger forward. Pain shot through my spine as I writhed in pain, rubbing my back against the wall in a bid to ease the sting.

"Witch!" Aunt Caro cursed. "Before you bewitch me in this house, I'd first of all kill you. Common go to that kitchen now before I do something drastic!"

I moved towards the kitchen, unstoppable sobs racking my shoulders while my head pounded. My eyes felt heavy, my back hurt, my whole body was hurting and the thought of Peter made everything a hundred times worse.

Why? Why me?

The day wore on and I hadn't even had my bath. Why would you even think I had brushed my teeth? By now, the tears had stopped, but only temporarily and I floated around the house like a lifeless soul. It was only when I re-read Peter's break up letter that the tears streamed down my eyes on their own. And I couldn't stop reading the letter over and over again, wishing the words would magically change and tell me he didn't really break up with me.

I opened my door a little and peeped out for the umpteenth time to see if aunt Caro, who was laying on the living room sofa and watching TV, was asleep. I wanted to take out my phone from my luggage and check if Peter was online, but I couldn't do that if aunt Caro was awake. When I saw she was finally asleep, I locked the door and took out my phone from its hiding place. I immediately powered it on and checked my WhatsApp. Peter had uploaded a post on his status updates. It was a picture of him standing between his parents at the airport. He must have just arrived at Dublin when the picture was taken. In the picture, they all had happy smiles on their faces, Peter included and I couldn't help the tears that streamed down my face again at the sight. He was happy—without me.

I checked to see if he was online and he was. My heart skipped a bit seeing that he was online and I contemplated whether to send him a message or not. Wait, what if he ignored me? That was what I was scared of. Well, there's no harm in trying.

I convinced myself with that thought before sending him a text.

You got it all wrong Peter. I can explain.

It didn't take long for him to reply.

I was hoping that you'd get the letter before texting me and I'm glad you did. Well I saw it with my own eyes Daniella. No need for explanation. I completely understand. Just move on, cuz I have already. As you saw already on my status, I'm already in Dublin chilling with my family. I think you should do the same with the love of your life—Charles! Goodbye!

Goodbye?

That felt like an hammer to the nail he'd already planted in my heart and I shook my head, droplets of tears falling on my phone screen as my heart hammered. I wanted to tell him that Charles wasn't the love of my life. He was, and everything was all just a misunderstanding, but I noticed that his profile picture had turned blank, indicating that he had blocked me on WhatsApp.

Forget what I said earlier, this was the hammer to the nail.

So this is it? This is how Peter and I would just end?

I was beginning to think everything Peter had ever told me was a lie. He never really loved me. Because if he did, he would have allowed me to at least explain myself.

As much as I didn't want to cry anymore because of Peter, I found myself crying even more. This was just too much. Too much for me to handle all at once.

Few hours later, Amanda and Annabelle got back from school. Aunt Caro had woken up earlier and had instructed me to prepare noodles for lunch and I was just done cooking before Amanda and Annabelle walked into the kitchen.

"Gosh I'm so hungry! What's there to eat?" Annabelle said, not getting a response from me.

Amanda walked directly to the refrigerator, took out a sachet of water and gulped down the whole water at once. They sure must be very exhausted.

"You look a mess." Amanda said, and it wasn't until I looked up at her before I realized she was actually talking to me.

"Me?" I didn't know why I asked that when I already knew the answer.

"Yes."

"I'm kinda sick." I said with a shrug, now sure I was really sick.

"Oh I was beginning to wonder why you didn't go to school today. Hope you're getting better?" Amanda asked, getting an amazed stare from Annabelle.

"I'm getting worse actually. I don't even think I'd get better." I drawled tiredly.

"You can't be better na. After snatching Peter away from me!" Annabelle scowled at me.

"Are you cursing yourself or what Daniella?" Amanda asked, a frown on her face. "And Annabelle, just leave this poor girl and Peter alone. There are other fine boys to chase after."

"What's wrong with you Amanda? You're acting weird." Annabelle raised a brow at her twin.

"Nothing is wrong with me o. I'm perfectly fine."

"You better be, because I don't understand this your new behavior o." That said, Annabelle walked out of the kitchen with a plate of noodles.

"Daniella what's really up with you?" Amanda asked immediately Annabelle left. "You've been acting strange since yesterday. Are you okay? And why has Peter not been in school? Don't think I haven't noticed that."

"I'm just sick. And about Peter, he recently travelled to Dublin."

"Wow! I didn't see that one coming. Is that kind of like the reason for your sickness?"

"Yes I miss Peter, but him travelling to Dublin has got nothing to do with my sickness, okay? Just leave me alone!" I snapped at her and walked out of the kitchen angrily.

I was harboring so much pain and bitterness in my heart that every other person or thing just seemed to irritate me easily.

"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to offend you!" Amanda hollered after me but I was too mad to pay her any mind.

***

I had skipped school for three days now, under the pretext of being sick. Well I was sick, mentally, physically and emotionally. I was scared to think I was rolling into that dark, fearful abyss of depression. That endless void of nothingness I was trying so hard to come out of but I couldn't.

My world had fallen apart in the twinkle of an idea. How could I lose my parents, my grandma and now Peter? Wasn't I fit for love. Didn't I deserve happiness? These were questions I kept asking myself. Amanda was the only one in the house—if not the entire universe—that seemed to care about me. How she became so nice was still hard to take in. But I was at the point in my life where I didn't need her to be nice. I didn't need her to care. I didn't need anyone to care about me. I was angry at the world...at God for even creating me in the first place. He made such a big mistake.

Thoughts that would have never even crossed my mind started to become a full-time conversation in my head and I started to wonder if eating rat poison would bring an end to this life of bitterness and darkness that had come to be mine. That thought in mind, uncle Henry walked into my room.

It was a Saturday and so he didn't go to work. I overheard aunt Caro saying she was going out for shopping with Amanda and Annabelle. So basically, I was home alone with the beast—Uncle Henry.

"Hey Daniella, we're home alone today, so I have you all to myself." He said, rubbing his palms together as he inched towards me.

Tears immediately trickled down my eyes as he moved closer. This was it. I was going to finally get raped by uncle Henry. Nothing could stop him now.

Well someone can, and that someone is you!

"Don't come close to me you monster!" I bellowed, standing up from my bed.

"Don't be stubborn Daniella. Just lay back on the bed so I can do it gently. I'm sure you don't want it rough."

I wanted to run out of the room, but he pushed me back to the bed and I fell flat. He came after me immediately, straddling me as he took off his belt. I struggled to get him off me, but he slapped and punched my face to the point where I couldn't even speak. He pulled up my dress and ripped off my pant. And I knew he had won. He was going to get what he had always craved for. I was going to lose my virginity to Uncle Henry.

The thought of it got me crying even more.

Just then, the door yanked open and I couldn't have been more thankful to the person that just saved me from getting raped, but on the downside, I knew I was in big trouble.

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