Chapter 37: Growing Pains

The furious amount of tears sliding down my face were difficult to discard with the back of a single hand. The attempt to stop resembling the stormy clouds continued down the elevator and into the lobby. Being reduced to the sensitivities of a petulant child left a scathing wound. And in that fury, I was ready to rebuff the offer to be aided home. In front of the doors, I could see the chauffeur putting his weight onto the handle of a large umbrella identical to the one I held in my hand.

I was caught by kind eyes that were previously staring out into the gray, animated scene of heavy rain. I approached and Kyle kept his greeting to a low murmur. He knew I was unsettled as I refused to make eye contact with him.

"I can walk home," I informed him.

My hand touched the door, but Kyle asked, "Ms. Young?"

Frozen, I took a deep breath before I showed him my face.

"I can't let you do that. Not in these waters." He tilted his head at me, silently urging me to comply with his instruction from his boss.

To save him from trouble, I gave into to his help. He shuttled me through the downpour, rushing me to the dark car that hugged the curb.

My brain was in overdrive. A flurry of emotions bounced all over especially when I was entering into Ezra's car without Ezra. After the genial driver entered the vehicle, he lowered the partition and turned his head to ask, "Ms. Young, are you going to be okay?"

My face wasn't wet from the rain. I shook my head, not bothering to lie. "No."

Because I'm such a fucking idiot.

Kyle flared his nostrils before he curled in his lips. His eyes darted around in contemplation, before the glove compartment was tugged opened.

I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes again to make sure that I was seeing things correctly. Pinched between his fingers was a soft peppermint in a clear wrapper.

My voice cracked against a scratchy throat, "Thank you, Kyle."

With caution he announced, "Mr. Leoné informed me that you were not feeling well, and that I should assist you up to your apartment. Is that okay with you, Ms. Young?"

Nibbling on the sweet, I kept my head down but nodded in compliance. Thanks to the weather and traffic, it would take Kyle much longer to take me home. Kyle tried to drown out the pelting of rain with the radio, but less than a minute passed before I drowned in my conscious of the bitter and shameful thoughts.

Kyle wasn't ordered to only make sure that I actually made it to my door, but also that I physically step inside of the apartment. When we the heard mellow meows from my chiming keys, I noticed how Kyle's face lit up with excitement.

My eyes focused on the doorknob when I somberly propositioned, "Do you want to see her?"

Before I could finish offering Kyle something to drink, my cat scampered around his shiny shoes. Cinna Buns was excited to have someone else to play with while I took my opportunity to retreat to the bathroom. The mild jingles and squeaks reminded me to get it together sooner than later before Kyle found a reason to knock on my door or worse... contact Ezra about my breakdowns.

I don't want you to tell me to stop feeling anything about what happened.

So, I only stole a few more minutes of time to handle my tears, before I left the confines of my bathroom to find Kyle's suit jacket folded on the counter. He was planted on the kitchen floor, and toys dangled around while the Birman mix scuttled around in a frenzy.

"She's big now," Kyle observed, forcing her on her hind legs with the simple rise of a string.

I leaned on the counter and sighed, "She's not a fluffy wittle baby anymore."

"No," he smiled petting her head. "But she's grown into a gorgeous kitty cat."

"I want her to be a kitten forever," I joked, finally sucking up some of the positive energy Kyle had.

"But I'm sure you're much happier with the independence and control that has come with her age," he laughed. "Does she have her claws under control yet?"

The question was answered when she abruptly attacked his sleeve yet clung on for a second before returning to her prey on a string.

"You look better," Kyle remarked out of the blue.

I pulled my attention from Cinna Buns to Kyle who was slowly standing to his feet.

"I feel a little better," I admitted.

His first arm slid into his jacket when he sighed, "Great. Now, the update I sent to Mr. Leoné about your status isn't a complete lie."

I twisted my brows. "Update?"

"Yes ma'am. It's a new– but unsurprising– request that he's asked of me." Kyle nodded.

I carefully scrutinized him, trying to understand exactly what he meant, but much of the mystery was gone when he confirmed, "My opinion doesn't matter, but if I may say you're relationship with Mr. Leoné is very different... in the best way. He's been very much alive since I've met you, and I've worked under him for four years. So, to be frank, Ms. Young, he isn't the only one that cares if you're okay."

*

The tip of a spoon lingered between my lips while I stared out of the foggy window. I figured some ice cream would do me some good, but Kyle's words echoed in my head for hours while I desperately attempted to forge a better understanding of the Ezra Leoné that couldn't look me in the eye before he sent me away.

You still sitting in your office?

Kyle said I made Ezra come alive, but it wasn't always in the best of ways. The emotional aftermath of the altercation with Chauvin still affected my evening into the night. On top of a restless mind, the continuous aching pain wouldn't allow me to rest if I wanted to.

Ezra was right; I was exhausted and hungry all day, but it wasn't an excuse for the way I behaved. Hating myself was easy, but retreating into my shell to avoid embarrassment wouldn't be possible. Though the rain was still present, the weather subsided enough for me to embark on a late night visit to Ezra's place.

Before I knocked on his door, I suited up with my emotional armor. And I was smart to be completely prepared for the complaints and scowls that Ezra gave to me as soon as he opened his apartment door.

"Are you done?" I grumbled, my cranky fever still taking over my general demeanor.

He wasn't, and he repeated himself again, "The weather is bad and you traveled here without telling me. What if I wasn't here?"

I angled my head, quietly shaming him for dramaticism. Arguing with another scenario-thinker was the best way to catch a headache, and he knew I wouldn't do it. Disgruntled, he sighed and signaled that I give him my jacket.

Observing him carefully put my coat away, I started, "If you want to know why I showed up unannounced it's because I'm still worried about you. There was no way you wouldn't have argued me into the ground about coming to see you tonight."

His frustrations carried over into his next words. "Everything is fine."

Finally, I expressed what weighed heaviest on my heart. "And I came to apologize for escalating the entire situation. I especially overstepped my boundaries and was out of line all day."

"Even if you weren't there, I would have found another reason to act as I did," he sighed.

I closed my eyes and grumbled, "Ezra. Please, don't try to excuse my behavior that worked as a complete catalyst to even more mayhem."

"I will excuse it if I want to, Ada Young," he said through his teeth.

First and last name?

"So, I can't even be at fault with you," I scoffed in annoyance. "That makes for a healthy relationship."

"For fucks sake Ada, it's not about me trying to make you angry all of the time!" He stormed to his coffee table and snatched up an envelope. "Maybe it's about trying to get past today's absolute hell so I can figure out when I can give you this."

Stunned, I reached for the small stationary and opened the invitation to an award ceremony.

Financial Business Awards...

"I want you to come with me." He admitted. "I'm winning an achievement in the area of Information and Communications Technology because of the Reagan Digital acquisition.

Ezra was laughing to himself, "Isn't it funny that I show you this today? An achievement I don't even deserve over a business I can't even run."

I scolded him,"Don't talk like that, Ezra."

He fell back onto his couch seating and continued to deride, "It's true. You were there. You saw the reality."

I stood in front of him and waved my hand, "Stop this. You are allowed to be upset, but this kind of self-depreciation is something I refuse to tolerate from you."

"I'm an embarrassment. I could barely defend you," he snapped back.

I reassured him. "You handled it better than I would have, had it been the other way around."

One word... 'bail'.

Ezra covered his face with his hands; he was hiding again.

I looked around in worry and admitted, "There's a lot happening right now, and I have to be honest... I'm really confused after today's events. This family business..."

"It's my father's legacy," he plainly answered.

"Why do you say it so despondently?" I begged.

Ezra hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees while he stared at the ground.

I quietly asked, "You want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. "It's a very long story."

Stop here, Ada. Just stop here.

"Okay. But I hope you'll feel more comfortable to tell me something because you know this is going to bother me until you do. I don't like seeing you like this," I told him.

Again, Ezra didn't respond, and it was killing me to be left in the dust. My desire to respect his space combatted my need for him to share what was closing him off from me. It took us long enough for us to express how we feel with coherence, but the silence was beginning to unravel my confidence.

I sat beside him and said, "I want to help but I don't know how to right now."

"Ada Young..." he began, and I puffed out my chest ready to defend myself. "... just be yourself. You're the only thing that makes sense right now."

My fingers lightly scratched and smoothed over the back of his neck. At least, my touch worked to revive his tenderness as he reached out to put a hand on my knee.

Technology was at it again, as an abrupt vibration across the glass of the coffee table caught my attention. A long distance number displayed on his phone's screen, but Ezra didn't move. He didn't even lift his eyes to see it mildly shake and skirt along the table.

What is wrong?

I wasn't going to get an answer; it bothered me. Ezra figured he'd distract my obvious worries with moves that I knew I couldn't resist. He knew I loved when the back of his forefinger brushed across my cheeks. I scrutinized him, but my efforts to keep a coldness about me couldn't stand up to Ezra's simple offenses.

His eyes lingered around my mouth and he asked, "May I kiss you, Ada?"

Jesus.

A little smile framed the rest of my face when we pulled our mouths apart. I would always be a sucker for those sweet, simple kisses.

If I were to speak, changing the subject was the best choice if I wanted to keep us both from a stressful night. I picked the envelope from my lap and reexamined the pretty invitation. Fiddling with the cardstock, I began, "So this award ceremony..."

I saw the pleasure momentarily wash from his face. Glancing over the embossed invitation again, I asked, "So you want me to come with you?"

"Of course," he replied.

"As a... couple?" I asked with my attention returned to him.

Ezra smiled, and I did the same though mine was weaker.

"Is that what you want, Ada?" he asked with peaking concern.

My mouth opened to answer with the obvious answer, but I had to be realistic– our situation had yet to bleed into complete exclusivity. We didn't hide in the public eye, but our relationship wasn't the real problem– there was principle at stake.

"Ezra, you know just what I want, but I'd feel out of pocket being the only one to see you take this achievement," I admitted.

"What are you saying, Ada?" he questioned with worry.

I cringed, "Ezra, you deserve this award, but before I even knew about Leoné Investments, it was two other people that I'm positive helped you be recognized for your importance in the Business District."

There was a glint in his eye when he crooned, "You... are quite the woman, Ada Young."

I felt my little heart warming, but I wasn't going to allow his attention to divert. "So what is my man winning an achievement for again?"

His eyes flashed open and widened with excitement, so I put forward, "Did you like the way that sounded?"

Ezra answered with a nod, his face beamed with flush and joy.

"I'll say it again, if... you repeat to me the award you're winning," I challenged. "And it has to be with confidence."