Chapter 22

Bricks In The Wall

This time, I was the one in the antique leather armchair waiting for someone, anyone, to come. Not even Mrs. Vandertramp was at Barnswell, which was strange. It’s always strange when I’m alone. Usually, I just feel alone. I have this ability to always feel alone among hundreds, even thousands, of people. But for now, it was just me, and I didn’t like the feeling.

I found a newspaper clipping stuffed down underneath all of the other junk in my bag. It read:

BARNSWELL LIBRARY AND HISTORICAL SITE TO CLOSE FEBRUARY 12TH

The Barnswell Library will close its doors for good on February 12. There are multiple issues with the building that cannot be fixed or will be too expensive to fix, therefore the Village Board has decided to demolish it. When asked about the possibility of keeping the library open because of its historical value, Village Board Chairman John Johnson stated, “It’s just too expensive. Our village will need at least $100 thousand to keep it open and that’s too much right now.” Barnswell librarian Dolores Vandertramp agrees. “Not enough people are coming to make it worthwhile. Kids just aren’t interested in our town’s history anymore.” Vandertramp says that the people of Buffalo Heights shouldn’t worry about Barnswell closing. “The Buffalo Heights Library will stay open for many years to come.”

Wasn’t that the reason I came, to talk to Samina about Barnswell? It was silly of us to try to stop the demolition. We can’t stop a hurricane, so why should we try?

I pulled my math book out of my bag. I had more math homework tonight, and I decided I might as well get it done here. I wrote down the answers to problem after problem, not even caring whether it was right. I didn’t care about anything anymore. What was the point? Samina hated me and so did Olivia, although my relationship with her was never very good. Nobody even cared about me anymore, so why should I care about them?

I scribbled in the last answer, putting down 38.5 elephants when it asked for the answer in centimeters. I was turning into Jimmy, which probably wasn’t a good thing, but did it matter? At least people pay attention to Jimmy. I was invisible to most people.

Mrs. Vandertramp came out from behind the bookshelves. “Hello Isabelle,” she said. “Where’s Samina?”

“I don’t know!” I exclaimed, tossing Geometry For Enjoyment And Challenge onto the floor.

“Aren’t you friends?” she asked.

“Number one, we’re not friends anymore. Number two, even if we were, I wouldn’t stalk her.”

Mrs. Vandertramp shrugged, as if dismissing my dilemma as “teenage drama.” And I suppose it was, though to me it seemed worse than the world being eaten by a black hole and being actively mauled by a bear combined.

“Should I keep talking to Mrs. Vandertramp?” I whispered to the Magic 8 Ball.

Concentrate and ask again.

I groaned. The Magic 8 Ball had been giving me a lot of those sorts of answers lately. It really didn’t help me make decisions when it gave me a cryptic answer like “Reply hazy, try again” or whatever.

“So...um...Mrs. Vandertramp? Anything new happening with the demolition?”

“No,” she replied. “It will proceed as scheduled. Are you still trying to stop it?”

“Am I?” I asked the Magic 8 Ball.

Outlook not so good.

“Probably not,” I told Mrs. Vandertramp. “Why do you ask?”

“I was simply wondering. Is there anything wrong with that?”

“No, not really.”

“Good,” Mrs. Vandertramp said. “Now, I need to get back to work and you probably need to get back to your studies. Yell if you need anything. And remember, you can make more of a difference than you think.”

Mrs. Vandertramp returned to shelving books and I pulled my iPod out of my bag and started listening to The Wall in its entirety. Pink Floyd just demands to be listened to in albums, not songs.

By the time I got to “Another Brick In The Wall Part 1,” I was in that mood that music takes me to sometimes. I was just so happy, so relaxed, that nothing could bring me down. All I could hear was music, and in my head, I could hear Roger Waters telling me:

Daddy’s flown across the ocean

Leaving just a memory

Snapshot in the family album

Daddy, what else did you leave for me?

Daddy, what’d’ja leave behind for me?

All in all it was just another brick in the wall

All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.

All in all it was all just bricks in the wall. It was the wall that was causing me so much trouble. I wanted to tear it down, but I couldn’t. Nothing could. It was a wall, a cage, an indestructible cage.