Friday evening when Halal's husband breezed back into their house after a two months trip in Port Harcourt, she didn't know whether to be happy that he was back again or sad.  Happy because, there would be no more lonely days or lonely nights or sad because there would be more deafening silence and coldness or perhaps cruelty.

It had been eight months since her last miscarriage, eight months since she had a decent conversation with her husband. After the night they spent at the hospital together, he buried himself in work and continued to ignore her.  It was one business trip or the other and even when he was around, he was still barely around.

Halal pressed a palm to her stomach and remembered the pains she'd felt when she lost the baby, she'd had high hopes for the baby. The priest from the miracle working church she'd been attending had assured her that if she gave a huge donation to the church, fasted,  prayed and come to the church regularly she'd get her wish. 

And she had,  she'd gotten pregnant. She briefly remembered Valentino's joy,  her extreme happiness.  The love,  care and attention he'd showered on her,  the plans she made for her baby. She was barely into the second trimester when she lost the baby.

Olive, she'd even picked out a name for her baby. Olive was gone now,  she thought sadly and looked down at her wedding band. The day she lost Olive, the day she lost her marriage.

She was dwelling in a broken home now.  It was obvious Valentino couldn't stand her, she was sure he regretted getting married to her. As a matter of fact, she wouldn't be surprised if he asked for a divorce soon.

It was eight years and she still hadn't been able to give him what he wanted from her.  A child, Valentino wanted a child but all her efforts to give him one was fruitless. 

Halal got up from the stool beside the bedroom window and walked to the full length mirror beside her dresser. She inspected her expression and her dress before walking out of the bedroom.

Valentino was already in the living room taking off his shoes.  His luggage was beside the door and his blazer was slung right on top of the suitcase.

"Val," she said after standing in the living room unacknowledged for a few minutes.

"Take the suitcase into the bedroom, what's for dinner? " Val asked without sparing her a glance. 

"Welcome,  how was your trip?" Halal asked moving towards the door to pick up the suitcase and the shoes.

Valentino let out a breath of irritation before fixing his eyes on her.  He tried not to pay attention to the awful black dress she was wearing or the obviously fact that she'd grown leaner.

"Did you at least make dinner?" he asked in a snappish tone.

"I didn't...I had no idea you were returning today. You didn't tell me,  you never called" she didn't add that he'd not also bothered to answer her call or reply to her texts.

The only thing that made her less worried was his occasional tweets on Twitter and a few posts on Instagram. If not,  she would have assumed him dead or worse.

"Of course you didn't cook,  is there anything you know how to do Halal, anything?" he sneered and stormed into the next room.

Halal stared after him unable to say anything. She didn't blame him for being so cold to her, it was her fault.  She'd frustrated him with her inability to give him a child.

She pulled the suitcase into the bedroom where she met him grumbling and taking off his clothes. "If you could just give me a few minutes Valentino, I can make dinner. What would you like to eat?" Halal asked helplessly.

"I don't need anything from you Halal,  it's not like you can give me anything I want anyway" Valentino hissed before going into the bathroom.

Halal shook her head,  a pained expression was plastered on her face. She wished she could give him children, she wished she could have children. Maybe then he would stop treating her like crap.

She placed the suitcase beside the bed before leaving the room.  Halal thought of her parents, they'd been so in love with each other, so in love with her.  From the moment she began to understand the concept of love,  she decided it was that kind of love she wanted. A love like that of her parents,  she wanted a bunch of kids to keep her happy. That dream seemed so far away now because she hadn't gotten her wish at all.

She willed herself not to cry as she walked into the kitchen. What good were her tears anyway? She took out a can of tomato sauce from the cupboard and contemplated what to make for dinner.

The truth was that she had been skipping meals,  she hated having dinner alone.  It reminded her of what was missing in her life.  So these days she feasted on measly meals and skipped dinner,  she never bother to cook either.

She briefly wondered how long Valentino would stay with her before travelling again. A week,  two,  three,  if luck shined on her,  he'd tolerate her for a month before leaving again.

Halal decided on jollof rice for dinner. 'I should probably get a snack ready for him when he gets out to keep him occupied before dinner' she muttered to herself.

She found a bottle of groundnuts in the cupboard and took out some cucumbers from the fridge. 'This should do' she sighed tiredly after assembling the cucumbers, groundnuts and bottle of water on a tray.

She walked back into the living room and placed it on a footstool beside his favourite sofa.  The love seat, it used to be their love seat but now she couldn't sit beside him. He couldn't stand her,  the stench of a childless wife nauseated him.

Valentino was out of the room thirty minutes later,  she heard his footsteps and decided to check on him.  He was dressed in a dark blue jeans and T-shirt with his sneakers on.

"Are you going out? I'm preparing dinner already, give me a few minutes it'll be ready" Halal said quickly.

"So I should starve because you didn't have the common sense to have dinner ready before seven.  I should starve because it's now you deem fit to cook dinner?" Valentino asked scowling.

"If you had called me to tell me that you were coming today,  I would have made dinner already. Why don't you have some cucumbers and groundnuts while you wait for dinner?" Halal suggested.

Valentino scoffed and shook his head disappointed before walking out of the living room. Halal swallowed the huge bile that was threatening to choke her. The sound of his car leaving the house again brought tears to her eyes.

'If only we had children, maybe he wouldn't be so cross with me' she thought weakly. She picked up the tray from the footstool before returning to the kitchen.

About twenty minutes later, dinner was ready.  She tried calling Valentino but as usual, he ignored her calls,  she waited for him to return but he didn't. When the clock struck twelve,  she left for bed and cried herself to sleep as usual.

'If I had a child,  maybe I wouldn't be so unhappy' she thought right before she fell asleep.

There was someone else in the house...... Valentino, he was back. Halal's sensitive ears picked up the movements of his feet right outside the door. It seemed like he'd been about to come into the room but changed his mind.

She wanted to remain in the bedroom and ignore his presence in the house but her body had a mind of its own because in no time she was out of bed and into her morning robe. 

She went into the adjoining bathroom to wash her face and clean her mouth before leaving the room. Valentino was sitting on his love seat reading the guardian as usual on his tablet. She was used to his habits, his morning routine.

"Good morning," she said the minute he looked up and noticed her presence.

"It's nine o'clock Halal,  breakfast is not ready yet.  What is so good about the morning?" Valentino asked his eyes switching back to his device.

"I didn't even know you were at home,  you didn't come home last night, I called but you never answered. I was worried, you should have at least texted to let me know you weren't coming home" Halal said sitting opposite him on the three sitter sofa.

"I don't owe you anything," Valentino said.

Halal looked at him surprised. "I'm your wife Valentino. Don't you think I'm entitled to know about your whereabouts?" Halal asked looking at his face closely.

"Of course,  you're my wife" Valentino let out a sarcastic laugh that shattered her.

"Is something funny?" she asked him. Cold eyes met confused ones.

"Yes,  isn't it funny that you claim you're my wife and you have nothing to show for it?  Eight years Halal! if you're going to claim the status as my wife then at least have something show as proof.  How many children are running around this house Mrs  wife?" Valentino asked.

Halal stared at him helplessly. It hurt that he threw their childless state in her face every time they had an argument.

"Something got your tongue Mrs wife?" Valentino asked.

Halal sighed before getting up from the chair. Words were powerful weapons and she didn't want to get hurt.

"Breakfast will soon be ready, hopefully, this time you will stay for it," Halal said keeping the sadness out of her voice.

As if he was out to spite her, Valentino left the house right before Halal served breakfast.

Halal decided not to call him or text him,  after all, he'd made it clear that she had lost the right to know about his whereabouts.

Halal wondered for just how long he would continue to tolerate her inability to have the children.

She had to do something about her condition or she would lose everything.

"Mrs Amity" A man in an ugly green Ankara top and pants shouted as he ran across the street trying to meet up with Halal right before she got into her car.

Halal stopped right in front of her SUV before turning to look at the person who was yelling for her.

Surprisingly there was no recognition, Halal never forgot a face. She'd never met this person, that was for sure so how come he knew her last name? She sized him up the minute he got to her, he was probably in his early thirties, and from his outfit, he was from the lower class district.

His shoes were worn out and he was holding a tattered bible and a couple of bulletins. Halal scoffed inwardly, so he was one of those road side preachers. She'd given up on them a long time ago, some years back a few had come to her with some lies and she'd been gullible enough to believe them. When she eventually discovered they were con men, it was too late. She'd fallen for their scheme, given them a hefty sum of money hoping they'd convince God to give her children.

"Look here, I hope you didn't just call me to waste my time with all those bullshït preachings about salvation and what have you? I suggest you hold it and go back to whatever you were doing previously" Halal said rudely.

She was tired of these so called men of God exploiting her because of her childless state. How could they be so heartless? deceiving vulnerable people like that and in the name of God too!

"I've not come to preach to you about salvation. The moment you passed me, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. He showed me that you are in so much pain" The man said.

Halal rolled her eyes "Here we go again" she muttered to herself.

"I know you're in pain but the holy spirit says I should tell you that you're praying for the wrong things. He says all you want has he given to you, all you should pray for now is spiritual guidance. He says that there's something you don't..." The man was saying when Halal screamed at him.

"Shut up! Look I don't know how you know my husband's name and honestly, I don't care. Get out of my sight, you're talking nonsense" Halal said furiously.

She was a gentle soul but she was tired of everyone playing with her feelings. This wretched idiot was probably out to exploit her. How many people have tried and succeeded? Men of God, doctors, traditionalists! She was tired already, she was fed up!

"Madam, the Holy Spirit brought me to you. He told me to tell you that you're not supposed to be suffering, you should be jubilant, praise God for all he has given you, ask him for guidance" the man persisted.

"If you don't get out of my sight this instant, you won't like what I'll do to you. Because the same holy spirit is ministering to me to give you a dirty slap. Get out of my sight you poverty stricken bastard!" Halal yelled attracting a few curious glances.

"God be with you ma, I pray you follow the right path before it's too late. Listen to the voice of God and ask for his guidance" The man said and walked away a little embarrassed.

"Foolish idiot! May the wrath of God fall upon you for trying to deceive me" Halal seethed before going into her car.

Halal broke into tears once she was in the comforts of her car. 'All you have asked, he has given' What a cruel thing to say. Two still births and a miscarriage in place of the children she'd asked for, was that how God answered prayers?

If she wasn't to pray for children, what then was she to pray for? She didn't have what she wanted, what she needed. An uncaring husband who offered her nothing apart from the comforts of his house and bits of luxury. She wanted more.

Her phone buzzed in her bag bringing her out of her distress. She dipped her hand in the black Louis Vuitton bag and brought out the phone.

She checked the caller ID, it was Evangeline her cousin who lived far away in Benue. She was involved in a Non Governmental organization that helped poor, disabled and sick people in Benue state.

"Eva, how are you?" her voice came out weak and croaky. Not that Evangeline would notice or care about that.

She and Eva had always been distant because of their differences. When they were growing up She had been the reserved, gentle girl who wanted the simpler things in life, Eva on the other hand wanted to explore the world and all it could offer, she lived rather wild.

It was that wild lifestyle that cost her her three years long engagement and caused her to leave Lagos. Halal didn't know the full details of what went down but she knew it must have been really bad because Eva's mother had been very upset and had cut off ties with her daughter.

After Eva left Lagos, she made no contact till her mother passed away. It was during the event of the burial ceremony that she told Halal about her involvement in the NGO.

Halal was surprised but also pleased, at least she was doing something better with her life. After the burial, Eva made no other contact with her, not even when she got married. She'd only called once right after Halal lost her first child and until today Halal had not even gotten a text from her only living family member.

When Aunt Patricia passed away, Halal was broken. Patricia represented the link between her and her late parents, and she also played a mother figure to her after her mother's death.

To Halal she'd lost her family, she didn't know if she could call Eva family because Eva always distanced herself from everyone. Halal's parents had passed away when she was nineteen, quite peacefully. There was a serene smile on her mother's face when she died. Her mother had died on a Friday and two weeks later her father had passed too in his sleep. It was a painful experience for Halal but she consoled herself knowing her parents were in a better place.

Halal's parents had gotten married right after they finished their studies at the Oxford University. They were quite young, Halal's father had been 25 and her mother 23 but Halal's mother had taken in when she turned forty, Halal was the miracle child because her parents had given up on having children. Her father Olive never pressured his wife to give him children, he supported her and was always with her every step of the way.

Halal often wondered why Valentino couldn't be like that, she wasn't even thirty yet but she was receiving hell from him.

The thought of her parents always brought a smile to her face. A smile that was wiped off quickly by Eva's cold voice. "I spoke with Patricia's lawyer today," Eva said.

"Okay?" Halal cleared her throat and sat straighter.

"It was a matter of my father's wrist watch. The Cartier he got right before he died" Eva continued.

Halal tried to picture her cousin as the conversation continued. Eva was what one described as the true African beauty. Her melanin skin shone like liquid bronze and drew attention to her. Her eyes were catlike, scintillating, calculating hazel eyes that never betrayed her emotions. The diamond shaped nose that suited her face, her lips on the other hand was the main attraction. She had small pouting lips that were always painted a bright red colour.

Eva exuded confidence, the confidence was noted in her tall 6'2 frame with every curve in place, her stance, even her walking pattern. She was the replica of her late father Austin. Halal's mother always said that her sister made a mistake marrying Austin. Austin was rich and handsome but he never gave Patricia true happiness.

They were always fighting and poor Patricia envied her sister's simple family. Austin eventually died in a plane crash, Patricia said it was his stubbornness that caused his death. His hard headed and hard hearted behaviour that brought his untimely end. He could have chosen to be at home with his wife and daughter but he chose to to jet out to some exotic country for a luxurious vacation.

It's such a pity that Eva had inherited those same traits from her father. Halal sighed and focused on the issue on ground.

"What about the watch?" she asked. How could one be talking to close family and feel like they were talking to a stranger?

That's what every conversation with Eva felt like.

"I was told the wrist watch was passed to you when Patricia died," Eva said.

"Yes, yes, it was," Halal said fingering her wedding band. She let out a breath thinking about the Cartier watch now.

"I'm sure it was passed on to you as a mistake. Patricia must have been delirious to give it to you, the watch was my father's. I'd like to have it back" Eva said coldly.

Halal felt a tiny ache in her chest, how could Eva talk about her late mother that way?

"She wasn't delirious, she gave it to me because she wanted me to have it," Halal said strongly.

Eva was quiet for a few seconds, the silence scared Halal. It was like the calm before the storm, but there was no storm when Eva eventually spoke, just an unfriendly chill.

"My boss's driver will be coming into Lagos on Tuesday. I'll ask him to stop by your house and pick up the watch. Send me your address before the end of the day" Eva said.

Halal took calming breaths before she spoke again. "I don't have the watch Eva," She said.

"What do you mean you don't have the watch, didn't Patricia give it to you?" Eva asked irritated.

"She did....I'm sorry Eva, I know the watch must have been special but...." Halal paused thinking of what had happened to the watch.

"But what?" Eva barked.

"I... I... I...Eva, I took a loan, I couldn't pay it back. I had to sell the watch, I'm sorry it was a really tough time for me" Halal said her voice was shaky in anticipation of Eva's anger.

"You sold my father's watch?!" Eva yelled over the phone.

"Eva... I'll buy. I don't have the money yet but I'll buy it. Please don't be mad, it was a really tough time for me after... "Halal was saying when Eva cut her off.

"That watch was over ten thousand dollars, ten thousand dollars Halal! Just what made you sell the watch that my father cherished. The night he was traveling, he gave it to me, me! Not bloody Patricia. I, and she freaking gave it to you!" Eva shouted.

Halal sighed, she'd sold the ten thousand dollars watch for three thousand dollars to pay back a debt she owed.

"You know I don't blame you, I blame her for giving the watch to someone who doesn't know how to appreciate good things!" Eva spat before ending the call.

Halal gasped at the harsh words of her cousin. She looked at the phone frozen for a few seconds before dropping it back into her bag.

There were times when she regretted selling that watch, but today the guilt she felt weighed her down. If only she had not sold the watch, perhaps today she might have been happier.

Happier with him......