Jimin's POV

§When you look at a butterfly you notice two things. One, how beautiful it is, it's natural beauty so effortless and apparent. It's like when you meet someone new for the first time and instantly feel attracted to them. Or when you move to a new place and actually observe the nature surrounding you, so natural, yet so truly surreal. It looks so attractive that you can't help but want to put your hands all over it. It's like being a kid in a candy store. But then you get distracted by all the bright colours and design that you forget the protective wrapping enclosing it. You see, the thing with butterfly's is that they appear to be so gracious, so carefree with no worries in the world. They float around like luminous bubbles in the sky, only noticeable by those who are truly searching for something. You become entranced by them and it's all you can focus on at the time. 

But it's only those who are truly lost, who notice one of these innocent creatures, and notice one other thing. That being, how preciously fragile they are. They're more fragile than glass and that of multicoloured tissue paper. One wrong movement and you'll break its wings they use to fly in a millisecond. You'll destroy its entire life or at least complicate it so much to the point of no free will or reason to carry on. Part of me always wants to scoop one into my hands but my hands are rough from so many negative memories of my past.

 I'm like a rotting tree. I stand tall and guard others from the outside, my appearance making both genders stop in their tracks to admire me. On the inside though, I was basically dying, struggling to get any oxygen and beginning to crumble from the time and wear. No longer did I have any emotion in my body, my face remaining a vacant and cold expression. Grey as a statue and as lifeless as a bone, my body frozen from ice and the bitter memories of my past. I'd done things to people that were only unimaginable to some. I'd broken people and destroyed lives for no other reason than my selfish ones. I dosed myself daily on the high and rush I got from it, only to now drag myself around like a transparent soul from the loneliness it left me with. I'd paid the price for my evil, but it still haunted me. It's like I'm trapped in a never-ending horror movie. I had to grow cold, grow mysterious and heartless. People didn't be-friend me, they feared me and wished they had never met me. I was a tree in a field, far, far up in the hills, surrounded by sharp edges and darkness. 

That's why I can't be near a butterfly. If I killed or even as to hurt such a beautiful thing how could I ever live with myself? 

It's like beauty and the beast, except it wouldn't matter how many petals were on my flower, the butterfly would never choose my sweet nectar and love me. I'd just rot over and over again, my petals darkening more and more each time to the point of decay. 

To be honest though, we aren't talking about a butterfly are we. 

I'm talking about her, the girl sat only a good few metres away from me, underneath a large tree, jotting away in her diary as if it was going to magically organize her entire life. It was like people thought noting down all their worries and troubles was going to make them any better. Like some magic spell would be cast down and fix everything. Life isn't a fairy-tale though, so in turn, noting all your junk down just made it more apparent that your own life actually sucked. Still, I can't help but wonder what her junk is, trying to detail the letters she was writing by the movement of the pen placed inside of her hand. I wasn't that much of a genius though and instead made up sentences in my head and made assumptions based on her attire and accessories. The coffee stain on her shirt made me realise she had been to that coffee shop this morning, the one she liked the best and she had once worked at when she needed extra money. She still carried around her old name tag clipped onto her bag, no company logo attached. Now she solely worked at one of those small local stores, the private ones owned by either money grabbing leeches or people trying to become one. 

They're the type of people who think they have a dream and end up wasting all their savings on a store on some Highstreet no one ever goes down. They then think by adding their name into their store sign people will think they're unique and edgy and in return will get hundreds of customers. Instead they get none and become run down and weary, paint chipping away at the front of the store, the endless loans they've already taken out to keep the place going now not enough to cover the cost of a new fresh coat of paint on the walls. So now we just live in a world full of rundown crappy stores named things like 'Carly's Boutique' or 'Kelly's Coffee Shop'. You can guarantee the owner is the only one working there too, that and maybe some oblivious student who thinks working for four pound an hour is a 'good deal' just because they get a free coffee and biscuit at the end of it. That or they just can't be bothered for the hard work of working a real job and instead like to fulfil their hours taking selfies and posting to their Instagram with a hundred followers which is apparently 'cool' or 'trendy'. 

 She wasn't the type though; she was socially aware and turned off her phone to avoid the teen fame leachers from disturbing her. Socially awkward maybe? No, she liked the outdoors and would smile, wishing the people a good morning whenever one passed by, which was never often. She had a coffee cup on the grass besides her, no, not branded. It was a brown basic cup, the ones you get from roadside food trucks run by middle-aged men with beards wearing a checked stained apron. Fortunately, they're polite enough to sweeten up a girl like her and often give her a cup of coffee for free, in return for a dash of her smile of course, that or just the promise that she might return again the next morning. They think they have some sort of control over her because of it, but she knows their game. She's the one in control as she plays up to it and continuously gets her morning coffee for free. 

I think that's one of the things I like best about her, how smart she was, maybe not mentally, but definitely socially. I say not mentally because she was unaware that she was currently sat on a patch of mud, that and she'd tried mending her broken glasses with blue tac and a paper clip. Anyway, let's get to the point, that girl over by the tree, she's mine. Not traditionally I guess, but she's mine. 

So why haven't I claimed her then you're wondering? 

Well, that's a long story, but as of now it's an obvious reason, just go back to the butterfly and it'll explain everything. She was fragile and I was a monster. I'm not your average Alpha you see, I'm a beast and my personal desires can't help but depend on dominating and controlling her. She wouldn't like that, but I can't guarantee that I wouldn't try and do it. We just couldn't work when I was like this, over-protective and now controlling. It was the way packs were run but she was human and raised, as of recent, in a world that was so vastly different. I'd already planned the scenario in my head. I wouldn't like her having free will because I want her to be under constant protection. Sure, she could be a fighter, a homemaker, whatever she wished, but I couldn't risk her running. Also, she's attractive in my eyes, very attractive. Not in a typical way, she had no hourglass figure, no fake tan or even a full face of makeup. She wore sweaters and jeans, her hair I had only ever seen up and she had round chubby cheeks. Her body was not fat, but it wasn't stick thin either, she was in that awkward middle stage all women hated, but I liked it. 

So, I could take her by force and mark her on the spot, but of course she'd hate me and plot an escape. I could try and get some of the female rogues to convince her everything is okay and that I just have past scars, but that'll only get me so far, I would need her to love me or at least think she needed me for protection. Which by the looks of the small papercuts on her fingers, seems like she does. To keep us bounded we would need a common enemy. Easy really, the regular wolf packs who would despise us both for the fact of being rogue. I would devise a plan for them to see us and chase after us, of course I wouldn't let us come to any harm. But at least then she'll be convinced enough she needs me, begging to be saved and then boom, I'm her hero. 

Great! 

Cue the music! 

Plan the wedding! 

By then she would have suppressed the memory that she was subjugated by force. Soon she'll then come to think she loves me, and she'll become more vocal about it too, wearing extra special clothes just for me and making my favourite meals in hopes I'll give her more attention. But this isn't true love is it, because it was born of fear. It is the same love a kidnaped victim has for their abuser. Fooled by mimic but embraced it because it's less painful than the truth. Over time neither of us would be fulfilled, over time we'd both become unhappy because we'd never found true love and we'd both come to realise it. She'd pull away slightly and become unsure, but I'd grow my power and control over her because by then I wouldn't be able to live without her and I needed her to stay. She'd end up staying but would live unhappily day by day trying to convince herself this was love but knowing deep down inside she was just terrified of me. Terrified to challenge me or ever voice her opinion. I couldn't have that. I wouldn't let our love be born out of fear for me. That wasn't needed before. So, I have another plan, one that would hopefully stand the tale of time and match us together in a tale of love...or whatever you want to call it. To fix the past and the mistake I had made. Either way, I was going to get her back...I would make her remember...

Y/N's POV...

"Crap" I mumbled, looking down at my watch and noticing the time. 

Six-thirty it read, the little handle inside my watch ticking round in teasing circles. I needed to be at work for seven and the walk was long enough from here, I'd need to leave right now. I sat up and quickly grabbed my bag, my diary falling onto the grass along with my pen. I sighed and pushed my bag onto my lap, grabbing my diary which now had a dirt covered all over the pages and wiped it with my sleeve. 

"Great" I then mumbled to myself, the dirt transferring onto my sweater. 

In reality that definitely wasn't the best idea of mine. Worse things could happen though...I guess. I shoved my diary and pen into my bag, standing up and brushing off my knees with my sleeves. My top was already dirty now so I might as well. I reached for my coffee cup and took one last gulp of the now Luke-warm liquid before taking large steps over to the bin and throwing it inside. The cup hit the inside of the bin, the lid coming off as the liquid poured itself out into the trash. I hadn't even noticed the lid which had bounced out of the bin and was now laying in the middle of the pathway along with all the other scattered rubbish.

It didn't make much difference in this town though, there was rubbish scattered everywhere. You'd think the place would be empty this early in the morning, yet there were a few odd souls wandering about, dressed in their thick coats and scarfs, wandering ominously like lost zombies. A homeless man sat on the side of the street under a rugged sleeping bag in almost every other corner makes it hard not to look their way. I feel guilty walking to a job, even if it pays little it's more than what they have. This place was a graveyard ghost town most the time, it was out of place and eerie. Those few of us who did live around here though couldn't afford to leave, we could all barely afford a tin of soup at the end of the day.

A gust of wind then blows through the streets, the old road barely alive and colonized with dilapidated buildings. These were teardowns than no-one had any incentive to demolish and a very few even lived in. Most were inhabited by the birds and sometimes wild dogs who needed some shelter from the harsh weather we always seemed to get around here. The wind blows through again and I can hear shattered glass move around along some of the floorboards inside the ancient buildings. Only the occasional window was still in possession of its glass, most were long shattered with rotten boards, some simply broken and some hanging by a corner. Doors hang on the few threads of their hinges and groan with pain at every sway. In most homes the roofs had partially caved in or sunk inside themselves like a disappointing souffle. Weeds and plants socialized across the cracking asphalt of every road, gathering and crowding together, populating the concrete. This place was like the sight of an after apocalypse, so empty and lifeless. The only welcome was the howl of wind and the only future this town held was to be slowly beaten by the weather and eventually collapse completely. I only hoped I'd be dead by then so I wouldn't have to witness it. I grew up with my mum, abandoned by my dad at aged three and taken away by child protective services at age nine when my mum started taking drugs. I was moved to this town, placed in an orphanage until I turned sixteen and was then kicked out. I had no money, little education and nowhere to go, or more importantly, no way of leaving this town. People left over the course of a few years, the place being taken over by alcoholics, the homeless and the other drug addicts. When I manage to glance back down to my watch, I see it's almost ten minutes to seven, the sound of thunder then making me jump and look up to the sky. "Not now" I beg, pulling my bag tighter on my shoulder and walking a little faster. In just a few moments I feel a single droplet touch my hand and I mentally groan, forgetting to bring a jacket making me roll my eyes at myself. I cross at the next road, no need to look since there are no cars in this town.

Not even a bus or bicycle, unless you can find an old rusty one abandoned somewhere around on the side of the roads. The rain then starts to get a little heavier, my hair beginning to get wet. I speed up and stop temporarily to pick up a tumbling newspaper around on the ground to use to stop the rain from drowning me out. I catch sight of the date as I bring the newspaper to my head, it's dated to almost twelve years ago. Just shows how up to date this town is. As I reach nearer the store the fallen parts of my hair from my ponytail begin to whip my face violently so much that I can't completely see where I'm going. The rain is pummelling my skin raw, the trees swaying as their limbs strain to withstand the onslaught of the wind.

Then I reach it, 'Joon's Bookstore' one of the last few remaining businesses in town. The outside was grey and run down, the outside haven not being painted in years but Joon somehow managing to convince me it was okay as it added a timelier feel to the store. The sign was swaying wildly against the wind, the creaking sound making my ears shrivel inside themselves. I threw the newspaper to the ground before reaching for the doorknob, unlocking it with the key I have before pushing open the door.

The hinges rust over in squealed defiance, the haze of dust across the floor inside the store further being pushed inwards from the wind. Dust was collected everywhere in this store, as far as you could see. Spider webs wove loosely around some of the shelves in a single night, busted lamps stood in the corners, their bulbs flickering in the already dim light. The smell was of damp wood, the leaking roof being one cause of the problem. I didn't mind too much, my focus was more so on the collection of old books across the shelves. Most were now tarnished, their colour faded from the front to back, page edges browned, damp and spotted. Some books had become so brittle their pages would fall out and onto the floor, scattering into a single pile as the crack in the wall blew in wind. I ignored the dust ridden air which made it a little hard to breath and walked over to the counter. I placed down my bag and pulled out my apron, pulling it over my head and then tying it into a knot around my back. I fumbled around with my hair, pulling it into a neater ponytail and using the dampness of my hair to sleek it back to keep it out of my face. Then I reached down for the order book, opening it and leaning my head back as dust flamed out like a dropped down bomb. I coughed and waved it away with my hand, scanning my eyes across the familiar pages already knowing we would have zero purchases made. We hadn't in months and the place was going down like the plague, it was only a matter of time, but I'd enjoy it whilst it would last.

"Y/N, is that you?" I heard Joon's voice as he made his way from his office into the main area. 

I smiled upon seeing him, hurrying over and helping him as he limped over on his walking stick. 

"Sorry I'm a bit late this morning, I got caught up" I said to him, helping him over to the chair where he sat down with a thud. 

"Writing in that diary were you" He teased with a smile, coughing towards the end. 

"Sort off" I chuckled, knowing he was right. 

He was about to speak again when the door suddenly flew open, slamming against the wall as the wind and rain blew into the store. I rushed over quickly and slammed it back shut, my hair now ruined by the wind once more and some of the books falling from their place on the shelves. 

"Bloody weather" Joon said from behind me, sighing in annoyance as he tapped his walking stick on the ground hard. 

"It's the worst it's been in a while around here" I exclaimed, turning back around and sighing as Joon stood up from his seat and nodded. 

"You're right, I was going to go check on Mina's place down the street, her windows were bashed in the other night from the weather" He explained, reaching for his coat and struggling to put it on. 

I rushed over to him and helped him. 

"Would you like me to go?" I asked, worried whether or not he could withstand being out there in weather like that. 

He shook me off and smiled politely. 

"No dear, I'll be fine, you stay and keep an eye on the store here" He said then reaching for his brown hat and placing it onto his head. 

"Yes sir" I said back to him, watching as he walked out the store, slamming the door shut and holding onto his hat as his body battered against the weather.

After a few moments he was out of sight, my body slumping as I looked around the room. I sighed and took a deep breath before getting on with some jobs, dusting away today's cobwebs, wiping away the dust from the shelves, sweeping the floor. After an hour I had almost finished my jobs, I was now just putting back the fallen books back onto their shelves in their spots, carefully checking their spines to make sure I put them in just right. When I heard the door to the store open, I didn't think much of it, assuming Joon must be back from Mina's. I carried on focusing on my books, placing them in and biting my lip as I concentrated. 

"I finished my jobs Joon" I then spoke out loud, still heavily focusing on the books in front. 

When I didn't get a response back, I frowned, quickly stepping out the aisle of the shelves with a few books in my hands. Words then left me. The scene was quite unbelievable, shocking really. My mind was sent reeling, unable to comprehend or process the images it was being sent by my eyes. No way. I looked away, then looked back to see if this was real. My face then fell harder than a corpse in cement boots. My skin paled and my mouth hung open with my lips slightly parted and eyes wide. 

"Is this the bookstore?" The man then asked...

Jimin's POV

Words had left her mouth, shock resident on all her features. I wasn't in the least surprised, it had probably been months since someone had walked into this bookstore. I was also aware that now there was no backing out of all this, she had seen me now which meant the mating bond would begin processing once more. Give or take maybe three days before she would start to struggle with her emotions if I wasn't around. This would all be sorted in my plan though, I just needed to put it into better action now. I stared into her bright eyes, they were boring into mine and her heartbeat was picking up. Just like the first time. 

"Err, is this the bookstore?" I reiterated, attempting to act like a casual citizen. 

She struggled for a moment, her lips opening and closing as if she were stuck underwater, everything was just slow. 

"I'm looking for a book" I then said attempting to change the question in hopes of a response. 

Her eyes were blank for another second before they widened, and she fully registered what was going on. 

"We have books" She suddenly said, quickly stepping over to the counter, tripping on her own feet along the way and stumbling slightly. 

I couldn't help but smile slightly, looking down to try and hide the laugh which almost fell from my mouth. She was nervous. Cute. I walked over to the counter where she fumbled and the few books in her hand tumbled out onto the counter. One of them was about to fall onto the floor but I managed to capture it quickly, looking down at her as I placed it down. 

"Thanks" She said with a gulp, her cheeks blushing as she looked at me for another moment before quickly looking away. 

She was blushing. Even cuter. 

"What kind of book are you after?" She then asked me nervously, looking away from me and pushing up her glasses as a nerve release. 

I sighed and looked around the store, my eyes glancing around at the books along the shelves. 

"I'm not too sure, perhaps you could recommend me something?" I asked looking back at her, her mouth now hung open again. 

I'm guessing she'd never come across someone interested in her opinion. I then looked down and noticed a mark alongside her neck. I frowned momentarily, gulping down a breath as I stared at it. 

"It's a birth mark" She quickly explained causing my head to look back up. 

I nodded and she looked away shyly, scratching it awkwardly before walking over to one of the shelves.

I followed her from behind and I took note of how she glanced behind her and noticed me before quickly looking back. 

"Genre?" She then asked me, turning to me and looking at me. 

I poised for a moment, distracted by her floral scent being this close to her. She then frowned at me and I snapped back to reality. 

"Oh, genre, yeah um, I'll read anything" I said, and she nodded back at me.

 I then watched her as she scanned through the bookshelf unsure what to pick. I could see she was struggling to determine a book, so I decided to try and help a little. 

"How about a classic?" I suggested to her, her eyes immediately lighting up at the word. 

"I know what to pick" She said turning to me with a smile before rushing back over to the counter.

I followed and watched as she fumbled around inside of her bag. 

"I'd been re-reading it for ages because I couldn't decide on a new one" She explained, still searching deep within the depths of her bag. 

Perfect I thought, this was going to go exactly how I wanted it to. 

"Here" She said finally finding it, rubbing the front page off with her apron before reaching the book out for me to take. 

I smiled and took the book from her, looking down at it. 

"Wuthering Heights" I read aloud, her looking at me with a soft smile. 

"It's a real classic" She then explained, fiddling with her sleeve nervously. 

"Not a lot of people like it, but I think it's really interesting" She said, then looking down as I tried meeting her eyes. 

"Sounds like a winner" I replied, placing the book down onto the counter and pulling out a few coins from my bag. 

"Oh no, that's alright, you can just take it" She said shaking her hands at me. 

I nodded and placed the coins inside my back pocket. 

"How about a trade then?" I suggested, her face frowning but she seemed intrigued. 

"You have a book?" She asked me. 

I nodded back to her and pulled out the thick book from my bag. Bound in deep black leather, cracked and dry with age, pages within brittle and it smell faintly like the woods and a floral sort of musk. Most people would have taken one look at the book and left it without a glance, but she was enthralled. She appreciated it's old and timely look and reached out for it. I handed it to her, and she placed it down, trailing her finger along the spine before opening the first page. A faint scrawl inside the covers declares that this book is in fact a diary once belonged to a "Y/N". She was even more intrigued when she then read the title. 'From beginning till again' 

"How do you have this, who's is it?" She began asking me, curiosity filling her head. 

I couldn't give her the answers she wanted, not yet, she would need to figure it out herself.

"I've had it a while, I don't really know very much" I lied to her, her curiosity picking up even more. 

"You've read it though, right?" She asked, attempting to turn to the first page before I stopped her. 

"It's more of an evening read" I said quickly, her nodding and closing the book shut. 

"If it's a family diary or something I'm not sure about keeping it" She then explained, attempting to pass it back. 

"No, really, it's fine, it could do with being read by someone with another perspective anyway" I said, her nodding and carefully placing it into her bag. 

Time for part two of the plan. 

"Crap" I mumbled, patting down my pockets as if searching for something. 

"Are you okay?" She asked me as I looked back up a her. 

"I think I've dropped my phone" I exclaimed, pretending to start looking around. 

"You probably dropped it by the books, I'll go look" She said quickly, disappearing between the bookshelves leaving me with enough time to dig around inside of her bag. 

I quickly rummaged through and quickly found what I was looking for...her diary. I quickly slid it inside my bag just before she came out from the books. 

"This it?" She asked me, coming out with my phone I had 'accidentally' dropped earlier when she had her back to me. 

"Yeah, thanks" I said to her, us both reaching out, our hands briefly touching for moment sending a sudden shockwave into her body. 

She jumped up quickly, my phone falling along with her glasses which fell from her face and onto the floor, breaking completely into two. 

"Sorry" We both spoke at the same time, bending down quickly and then bumping our heads together. 

"Sorry" We both said again, this time resulting in us both letting out a laugh, rubbing our foreheads. 

"Here" I said to her, reaching around my backpack and pulling out a pair of glasses I had kept for her. 

It was the one of the very few things I had left of her for a long time. 

"W-what?" She asked me, her head looking up but her eyes not following me. 

I laughed and opened up the glasses, reaching forwards and pushing them up and along the bridge of her nose. Her hands rose to the sides of the glasses, touching mine as she helped guide them to where she liked them settled best. When they were finally on, she looked forwards, her pupils stilling onto mine as she froze. I could see the cogs in her mind attempting to figure me out, figure us out. She couldn't though and instead her head tilted ever so slightly, not enough to really notice if it wasn't for the fact, we were up so close to one another. I don't think she realised that her hands were still on mine, the light brush of skin contact leaving little sparks amongst my skin, as if someone was brushing a feather ever so gently across my palm. So, this is what it feels like, the euphoric sensation when we would touch, I'd never forgotten. I wander what it would be like to kiss her, to feel our lips brush past each other before then tasting her properly. Would it be the same tingles, or would it be so much more than that? I wasn't sure but I wanted to know, and so did she by the seems of it, our faces closing in on each other's, our lips inches apart. But that happening would be too easy, and our story was never easy...

Y/N's POV

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Joon's voice boomed, the sound of the door slamming against the inside wall instantly pulling my head away and looking up. 

"Joon-" I said, attempting to speak to him, but he cut me off quickly. 

"AWAY! NOW Y/N!" He yelled at me once more, pacing over in a struggle and gripping my wrist tight enough to pull me up. 

The man showed little emotion, standing up slowly and staring Joon down with an intense glare. 

"Joon, he's a customer" I tried to explain as he pushed me behind him and then back behind the desk. 

"His kind isn't welcome here!" Joon spat out towards me before turning back to the man, holding up his stick as if he was waiting for the man to attack him. 

He didn't though, and I just stood there confused as ever, looking back between Joon and the man. 

His kind? 

What was Joon on about? 

"Joon, he was just looking for a new book" I tried to explain in the man's defence, watching as he prodded his stick forwards, ushering the man further towards the door. 

"Get out rogue! You don't belong here!" Joon yelled, ignoring my words. 

The man again showed little emotion, he simply looked at Joon, almost as if they were having a mental conversation through their eyes, before he gave me one final look, nodding his head as if to say thank you before quickly leaving the store, his body fading into the fog.

Seeing him fade into the fog was sort of eerie, reminding me of a scene I must have read In a book before or something. Part of me was entranced by this man, wanting to follow him and say thanks for saying thanks. 

That was stupid right? 

Maybe it was because it had been months since I'd last had a proper conversation with someone other than Joon or my diary, but there was just something about him, something unexplainable, a little creepy, but then I liked creepy, it was mysterious and lead to adventure. I turned to look at Joon who was staring directly out the window in the man's direction, his breathing hard and his eyes narrowed. 

"Joon-" I called out to him, his only response to grip his walking stick harder and narrow his eyes even more. 

"You too" He then said lowly, my eyebrows furrowing as I took a few steps closer to him. 

"What?" I asked, confused as to why I now needed to leave. 

What did I do wrong? 

"I SAID GET OUT!" He suddenly yelled, hammering his stick hard against the floorboards, breathing heavy and hard, yelling profuse words in a language I simply didn't understand.

I quickly took steps back, shoving the diary the man had given me into my bag before running out the door.

Joon didn't hesitate in coming quickly after me, forcing me to take a few steps back as I watched him slam the door shut on my face and fumble around with his keys, rushing to get the door locked. I just watched utterly bewildered by him, the anger and fear in his eyes, the cold look on his face, pure hatred and angered lace in ever frown and crease of his shrivelled skin. When he finally had it locked, he looked up at me, us facing each other through the glass. For a moment I thought his face had softened, but then it hardened once more, narrowing his eyes at me. 

"No rogues allowed" He said lowly, speaking the same words he had done so before. 

Rogues? 

I'm not a rogue, what even is a rogue!?

 I frowned, I couldn't do anything but watch as Joon began profusely cleaning every inch of floor and bookcase in the shop, muttering to himself words like 'evil' and 'mutt' and scrubbing like he'd just murdered someone and was now trying to scrub the blood from the floorboards so he couldn't be prosecuted. 

The man has finally lost it I thought.

With that I turned on my heels and made my way back home, having nothing left to do, or should I say there was nothing else to do. The streets were now damp and evermore decaying, water seeping between the hole at the bottom of both my shoes, soaking my feet and making me cold. I tried to find a new pair but there were no stores about which sold shoes or hadn't been robbed out off before the town went to shit. The only chance I had of getting new shoes in this place was searching the rundown houses, and that was as risky as ever. The estate I was on was full of drug abuse, entire families who had once lived besides me completely shattered. The children that once lived there came home to no food and went to school empty handed, there only chance of eating being if a friend would kindly offer them half their sandwich. They often did most days, but when the place started going down it was everyone out for themselves, even children became cold and distant. Parents were either violent or abusive, that or they were both. I often heard shouts from the neighbours and cries of the children, until one day it just stopped. It was almost instantaneous, just suddenly cut quiet, quicker than anything. I saw the parents leave that night, in their stolen car, no bags, no nothing, just each other. I was too afraid to ask where the children were, but I wasn't sure if it was because I was too afraid of the answer, they would give of the brutal fact one of them would probably hit me for asking. It was better to keep to one's self, not get in others business. Everything was decayed in this town, not just the housing or the streets, but our minds too. Hate and fear ran this place now, how could ever you ever find love let alone learn to understand and care in this hell hole?

As I reached near my home I turned to watch and make sure I was alone, not wanting any street gangs to spot me and then rob me of the little I had. Despite the place being so desolate it was almost impossible to spot people, there being so many places to hide and lurk. Each day was more so about praying you would make it to the next. The place looked empty enough, now was a good time I said to myself, quickly making a dash towards my front door. I didn't hesitate in pushing the door open abruptly, it takes little to no effort as it swung open, the sound of another chip of wood falling from its frame and onto the floor sounding the same way it would each time. I then shut it quickly, reaching for the planks of wood I'd leave inside each time before I'd leave, to border the doorway back up, arching the wood at an angle so I would be able to hear if someone ever entered.

When I knew it was secure, I turned, slumping instantly at the sight before me. Tea stained counters, grease splattered back splash, cracked mugs and unrinsed dishes were nowhere to be seen in my kitchen. Finally, some relief. I flicked on my fairy lights; they light up the room dimply as I reached into the cupboard for one of my last three remaining cans of beans. We had no electricity here, but thankfully I had found some batteries not too long ago to be able to use the fairy lights. Like any other day I pulled back the lid of the can, the sound of metal scraping against itself making me scrunch my face up in disgust. I always hated that sound. Once off, I opened up my draw for a teaspoon, picking one up before making my way to my bedroom.

The sun had dropped quickly tonight, my room in complete darkness as I searched around for my battery powered lamp. Once it was on, I threw my bag to my bed and jumped onto it, the decade old thing squeaking with every movement, but it was the most comfort I was ever going to get. I then reached into my bag, pulling out the book the man had given me an admiring it with curiosity. Once more I admired the scripted writing on the first page. 'This diary belongs to Miss Y/N, member of the Timor Wolf Pack" My curiosity heightened. Maybe it was because I shared the same name as the owner of this diary, or maybe it was the words wolf pack', but I was intrigued enough to quickly open up the next page. Slowly I began to read pages of this girls beginning of life, her childhood...

"Y/N, over here!" The others shouted, running through the depths of the forest. They were much faster and I giggled as I ran after them in my yellow sundress...

I smiled reading the pages of her friends, playing in the trees and through waterfalls. Running over mountains and sharing mindless secrets. I then turned, continuing to read on...

"Y/N, you must work harder, your grades will fall below average" The teacher said to me, scolding me gently as she shook her head at me in dismissal. "I will, I promise"...

"Father, I was thinking about joining the pack warriors" I said to my father from across the other side of his desk. Without even looking up at me her shook his head. "Don't be so foolish child, now leave me be, I am far too busy for your nonsense tonight"...

I frowned. How could her father be so dismissal of her dreams? She grew up in a tough and strict environment I thought, but that didn't stop me from turning the next page...

"What a joke!" They all yelled whilst laughing at me, their hands on their chests as I stood in the middle of the training field. "Girls can't fight you fool!"...

"Mum, I don't understand, they're all so mean" I cried, standing in the middle of my room, my clothes covered in dirt from gruelling teasing I had to endure on the way home. "Well, if you weren't always trying to be so bloody difficult and useless you would learn your place as a female in the pack!" My mother yelled back, slamming the door shut and locking it...

"Ahh" I groaned, a pounding suddenly becoming present inside my head. I willed for the pain to go away but even after a few minutes it hadn't. I figured that was enough reading for one night, so I closed the diary, put all thoughts aside and fell asleep...

"LET ME OUT" I screamed, bashing the door with my fists, my skin encrusted with dried up blood and my nails scratched into themselves. "NOT UNTIL YOU LEARN YOUR PLACE MUTT!" My mother yelled back to me, ignoring my cries and pleas of desperation to be let out. I stumbled back hearing her footsteps tread away, fear crawling up inside my skin. How did it all come to this? I just wanted to live how I wanted to...

Over a year I've been trapped in this room and I couldn't take it any longer. My body had become weak and fragile and I was beginning to lose my mind. Endless days of mindlessly pacing my room had driven me to the edge of insanity. I had no choice...I threw myself from my bedroom window...

My eyes open like two flashlight beams, my chest rising and falling as If I had just ran a marathon of eternity. My eyes take in the sight of the lamp I had forgotten to switch of and the book which was still spread out on my bed. 

"It was just a nightmare" I repeated, attempting to convince myself I was fine. 

But how could a nightmare like that feel so real, every detail in there and I could have sworn I had been in a place like such before. Shaking my head, I calm myself down, taking deep breaths until I felt confident enough to bury myself in my bed sheets and try and fall back to sleep. I couldn't at first though, thoughts racing inside of my mind and I felt on edge, like my own body wasn't mine or I was trying to break through an intense, thick layer of skin. Eventually though, after hours of thinking, I succumbed to another deep sleep...

The next night I repeated the same routine. I head for my kitchen and grabbed a can of beans, brought them back up to my room and began reading the diary once more...

I had escaped the rotten hells of my pack and ran for my life out of their territory, limbs barely intact, my bones brittle and I felt every part of me ache and sore higher and higher with immense pain. I didn't stop though. I couldn't. I just kept running...

Just like in my dream, she was trapped and forced to jump from her window, now almost every bone broken, and she was on the brink of death. The tears burst from my ducts like water from a dam, spilling down my face. I feel the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child and I look toward the window, as if the moonlight piercing through the wooden boards would soothe me. It didn't though, instead my mind felt conflicted and hurt. Somehow my dream had guessed what this girl had done, she had leapt from her window and was now running for her life. I could almost swear that my heart was going to pump itself out of my chest because I felt scared, but I couldn't stop from reading, only hoping things would get better...and they did...

I met him. He saved me. My mate. He'd found me on the verge of death in the forest, took me to his home which was mainly a well-off campsite, and nursed me back to health along with other members of his pack..."The Rogues"...

"I owe you everything" I breathed, sitting up on the bench, him kneeling besides me. He smiled, picked up my hand and kissed the back of it gently. "You, yourself, are more than enough"...

Suddenly I wasn't just reading the diary anymore, I was living it, experiencing it. It was like I could feel and understand every emotion this girl had gone through in this diary of her life. It made my head hurt. No. It made my head pound, just like the night before, only harder and more intense. Everything was going so well though, and I couldn't bring myself to put the diary down, even as time continued to pass...

"And look, you could decorate this place with daisy chains in the spring and in the Winter there could be-" I stopped myself from talking, turning and looking at him as he leaned against one of the trees with an amused grin. "I'm rambling again, aren't I?" I acknowledged as he laughed and walked over to me. "I like it when you ramble, your eyes light up and it makes me smile" He professed, grabbing my hands and pulling me towards him...

"It's beautiful" I whispered, gazing up at the moonlight from the tops of the cliffs where he had taken me. He didn't say anything, he just held me and looked up with me before gazing back down. Then he leans in, carefully, and my body begins to tingle, my eyes closing as he whispers "So are you" before pressing his lips to mine. My first kiss...

I couldn't stop another fresh flow of tears streaming down my face, reaching up to touch my lips, not imagining, but almost reliving her experience as if I had had my first kiss. This man, it was like I could sense what he had kissed like, tender and so sweet. The pain in my head had gotten much worse this time, and all the reading had made my stomach twist and turn. I decided to close the book and sleep it off...

"It's not funny, I seriously want a cat" I said through both our laughter, his hands gripping my waist tightly, mine around his neck as he shook his head in disbelief. His hair was fluffy tonight, his shirt half open and his eyes their warm hazelnut colour that I had always loved. "If mine is so funny, then what do you want?" I retorted back to him. This time his answer wasn't funny though, he died down his laughter and tugged me closer, reaching a hand up to brush the hair away from my face. He then got close, so close his lips were almost on mine. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. "I want so many things" He whispered. "I want your mind. Your soul. Your craziness, your creativity, your everything" He spoke slowly, his fingers beginning to graze the hem of my top as he then speaks his next words. "I want to take this off" He them whispered, my lips parting as he grazes his fingers lower to the hem of my trousers. "And pull these down" He murmurs against my lips, his fingers now going up my top, touching the sides of my body as he speaks. "I want to ignite your skin on fire, and make your heart race and know it's because of me, because you want me" He says with darkened eyes and voice, his forehead now pressed against mine and I can feel the pit of my stomach begin to light up with an intense desire for him. "I want every inch of you, underneath me, gasping for air" He then says before finally slamming his lips onto mine. I love when he kisses me like this, but this time with more determination and fire. It was so intense, each of us just grabbing for each other in a way to try and be closer, tearing away items of clothing as we aim to be one with each other. Our kisses then get sloppy and he kisses my jaw, my neck, my collar, every inch of skin possible on my body. I love it when we then get side-tracked, kissing each other so hard and with so much need that he ends up slamming me against the wall. I was hot and literally panting because I couldn't catchy my breath with him. Eventually we're both naked and finally giving each other intense pleasure as he slips himself inside of me, pushing in and out of me with pure intention and need. He kisses my body more, our bodies sweaty and hot, the moans not able to be contained. He then meets my eyes, his forehead pressed against mine as he says, "I love you, Y/N"...

I'm awoken exactly like the night before, my heart hammering against my chest, my eyes heaving with tears. My heart aches, my head hurts. I feel like I'm dying inside as I quickly recap my dream that was shattered right when I was awoken. Those eyes, I've seen them before. Suddenly a sharp pain shoots through my head, my hand reaching up to tug at my hair as I close my eyes and try to calm down. I thrash around though, agonising waves of pain flooding my skull as I cry out loud. Memories then begin to flood me, washing through my body, through my veins as I see images of joy, sadness, anger, pain, love, lust, want, need, a man, a pack, happiness, tears, screams, laughter and everything in between before my eyes are torn back open once more, the pain suddenly disappearing as my body breaks down. I knew I was going to faint as my stomach suddenly began to feel like a hollow black hole, the irises or my eyes turning white before I fell into darkness...

"I don't understand, help me understand" I beg as he rushes around, packing up belongings and rounding up the other members of his pack. He ignores me for a while, organising everything before rushing over to me. "You have to trust me, okay?" He pleads, grabbing my shoulders, panic setting inside of him. I didn't want to be the cause of anymore of his worries. "Okay" I say nodding. "I trust you" ...

"Who is she?" I ask as he corners me behind a tree, a woman dressed down in white a few steps away. He looked at me, pain in his eyes, blood stained down his chest. "She's a witch"...

Blood, Anguish, fear, screams, pain, agony, dread, disaster and cold-blooded murder. It was all happening. The pack was being slaughtered. He had dragged me away with the witch, ran a few miles with me before stopping alongside a small town. "You need to tell me what's going on" I plead with him once more, panic settling inside of me. This time the tears are falling from his face as he steps to me, grabs my hands and kisses me. He kisses me as if it could be our last. In fact, I felt like this was a goodbye. "They're after you, and I won't let them get you" He says pulling his lips apart, gazing into my eyes. Realisation settled inside of me. This had been caused because of me, because I had run from my pack. I was now rogue and that meant I was a wanted criminal in their eyes. "You're going to stay in this town, they can't get you here" He explained, gripping me tightly. I shook my head, gripping onto him even tighter, a frown forming on my face. "You're staying too though, right?" I asked, my bottom lip beginning to tremble. He didn't answer. "Answer me" I shouted through my tears as he tried to step away from me. "Do it" He then said to the witch, trying to get further apart from me. "Do what!?, wait, what's going on!?" I screamed as we both cried, the witch beginning to chant her spell in a language I knew nothing off. "Protecting you" He said to me. He stood back and watched as I tried to run to him, an invisible forcefield getting in my way. I reached out to him, my tears like a waterfall as I screamed out for him. "JIMIN" I screamed; the feeling of all energy being sucked out of me. "JIMIN, PLEASE HELP ME" I screamed once more, fog surrounding me, suddenly blocking my view of him. The last I physically saw of him was his face before it faded behind the fog. I turned and could only just see the face of the witch as she continued to chant. I begged and banged my fists against the forcefield, falling to my knees and praying for her to stop her chant. But she didn't. She averted her gaze from me and continued on. Slowly my wolf began to fade from my mind, any attempt I made to shift no longer existent. Then as I tried calling out for Jimin no words would come out, his name, it was gone. Then his eyes, his lips, his nose, his smile, his clothes, his chest, his arms, his legs, his shoes, his face, all our memories, our happiness, our first kiss, our first time, the first touch, the first time we met....our love story...it evaporated...erased...stolen from me...forgotten were they as new ones began to replace them. I grew up with my mum, abandoned by my dad at aged three and taken away by child protective services at age nine when my mum started taking drugs. I was moved to this town, placed in an orphanage until I turned sixteen and was then kicked out. I had no money, little education and nowhere to go, or more importantly, no way of leaving this town. I'm human. I work at Joon's bookstore and Joon will keep me safe. I write in my diary every day. I am Y/N L/N... just, Y/N L/N...

The nausea that swirled unrestrained in my stomach managed to wake me back up. My heart struggled to keep a steady beat; my blood became tar as I suddenly let out the most hysterical cry. Then it was screaming, sobbing, the only interruption being when I needed to draw for breath. It was a primal sound; one we're programmed not to ignore but there was no one around to hear me. I cried as if my brain were being shredded from the inside out. Emotional pain flooded every pore, my fingernails gripping onto the mattress so that my violent shaking would not cause me to collapse once more. Every memory was playing like a song in my head, repeating itself for what seemed like forever. Every detail of my life, of him, was suddenly etched in my brain like an etch a sketch, except this time they weren't forgotten. I remember. I remember everything. The sound of his voice, the touch of his skin, his smell of vanilla. My brain flooded with images of him, of us, his teeth glistening whenever he smiled at me, his eyes sparkling. My chest hurt, an insatiable fire burning within it that was causing all the oxygen in my body to leave me. I could barely reach out for the diary, but once I did, every page described every memory I had. Everything wasn't just some concoction I had guessed; it was me. These were my pages. This was my handwriting. This was my story. My life. Me. Everything. A photograph, that was all it took for another flow of tears to burst my dam of restraint. It was us, together. Stuck in the back page, us both caught in a moment of perfection. His soft smile, his warm hazelnut eyes, the same man I had been in contact with that day. Jimin. I clutched the photo hard, tearing it out from the page and holding it to me close. I was now numb yet in so much agony. I longed for him, more than anything. I threw myself up from the bed, diary gripped in my hand and raced out the doorway.

In less than five minutes I was outside in the dark weather. The sky was filled with grey clouds. It was suffocating, it was like they were crushing me. Then a sudden flash of lightning bolts, thunder rumbles like a hungry monster a split second later and the rain begins to pour once more. I let my feet guide me. I trusted them. I trusted myself. I went back to where it happened. Part of me just knew that's where I was going to find him, and I was right...

He stood there, opposite me, the other side of the trees. The water had drowned us both out, both our hair soaked and our clothes too. I see the pain in his eyes, the fear as he looks at me. Afraid he was. Scared I would hate him, that I wouldn't forgive him, that or I had forgotten everything still. Tears began to spill for both our helpless eyes onto the mudded ground below, staring at each other. I understood it all. I knew he did it for love. I was angry but too exhausted and needed him. I needed him with me, to mend my heart to be with me like we once were. I didn't want explanations. I just wanted him back. Jimin wears a face like he's expecting anger from me, but it just doesn't exist. All I feel is love, all I want is his touch once more. He has so much guilt and sadness, but all is erupted away when I bring a sad smile to my face. He stays rooted to the ground as I then walk over to him, tears falling from my eyes, but he knows. He knew I had remembered everything. Before I can even draw the air my body needs, I melt into his chest, wrapping my arms around him as we both fall to our knees. I can feel his firm torso and his heart that is beating rapidly. His hands quickly fold around my back, drawing me in as close and tight as he could, as if to make sure I was real as he buries his head into my neck. I can feel my body begin to shake, beginning to cry for all the lost time we will now never get back, crying to release the tension of these many long years. He pulls his head back and wipes my tears away with a calloused finger, a sudden smile bursting from his face even though he was still crying. He is admiring me with his eyes, running his fingers through my hair as if he can't believe I'm here and not just in his dreams he was afraid to forget. When he then kisses me it's sweet, gentle, the world melts away and all I can taste is salt from our tears. Through the harsh rain we kiss, our lips moulding together as a kinetic electricity bolts through our bodies. The long and painful years apart forced the kiss harder, both of us struggling to pull apart even as he struggles for breath. I go to speak but all I can do is whisper. 

"Don't leave, never again" I sobbed through a smile. 

His gives me a soft smile back and nods his head. 

"Never again" He then repeats, folding me in his arms once again and pressing his lips back to mine in a kiss that would forever be impossible, to forget...