People Like Me // MIKESCHAIR

Nila

By the time the movie is over, I'm ready to fall asleep on my dad's shoulder and let him carry me to bed, but I know I have to make sure I can pull things off tomorrow before it's completely too late to get anything else I need, so I wait for that obnoxiously-catchy credits song to be over before forcing myself to rise.

Breaking the position that I've been in for over an hour and a half is like shattering the small escape I've had from everything that happened today, and I feel all of the shame crash straight back onto my shoulders.

Mom gets up as well, holding out her arms for me. I hug her weakly.

"Goodnight," I whisper. "I love you."

She squeezes me, stroking my hair with one hand. "I love you too, Sweetheart," she murmurs. "You have no idea how much I love you."

We stay like this for another long moment before pulling back, as she kisses my forehead. "Just come and get me if you need anything," she tells me. I nod dully. "I love you," she repeats, and I mutter back my response once more.

"I love you too."

"I'll be up in a minute, Love," Dad tells her, and she nods, turning and going upstairs.

When she's disappeared, Dad looks at me with utter sadness and love in his eyes, getting up from the couch and holding out his arms as well. In the same insipid way, I allow him to embrace me, barely finding the strength to hug him back.

"I love you, Darling," he murmurs. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," I whisper.

He pulls back with his hands on my shoulders, leaning down to look me in the eye. "And I always, always will," he adds. "There's nothing that you can do that will ever change that."

"I know," I whisper, dropping my gaze from his.

Gently, he reaches out and lifts my chin to look at him again. "No, you don't, Darling." There are tears in his voice and his eyes as he says it. "And I am so, so sorry."

"Dad I do know..." I start. "I... I..."

"Nila." He says, those tears filling his eyes more readily. "Love. It's okay. It's not you. I just... I'm so sorry I haven't made it clear that I will love you through absolutely anything. That you thought..." He chokes. "That you thought I'd be angry with you about today."

"Dad, it's not your fault," I protest, looking away again, to the side this time. "It's not anything you've done. It's just... I was just being stupid. I thought... it felt like..." I shake my head, desperately fighting back tears. "I don't know."

"I know, Love." He rubs my shoulder tenderly. "I know. It's alright. But I just want you to know that it doesn't matter how broken you feel. It doesn't matter how dark you think something is. It doesn't matter how screwed up and nonredeemable your situation seems. You can always come to me. I will always love you. You are always priceless, and nothing can change the brilliant, beautiful plan God has for you."

"I know, Dad." I can't stop myself from crying this time, and the words are choked with the tears that begin to stream down my face.

All I want right now is to end that plan, because I'm a worthless liar who's wasting oxygen.

"You will, my dear," he replies simply, sadly. "I promise, you will."

I squeeze my eyes shut in a vain attempt to hold back the tears, tilting my chin to the ground.

And I feel a gentle hand cupping the side of my face, wiping the tears away.

"Is there anything else that you're afraid of me knowing, Nila?" he whispers. "Anything... anything that Katherine threatened to tell me... anything that you think I'll be angry about? Because if there is, just let me prove you wrong, Love."

So many things that I know are too much. He doesn't. But I do.

I shake my head without opening my eyes. "I'm fine."

He's pulling me back into him before I know what's happening, and it takes everything inside of me not to completely break as he presses me into his shirt. "I love you," he says for the millionth time tonight.

I try to scrape up some of my broken old self from inside of me. "No, Dad. I forgot. I think it's been about thirty seconds since you told me last."

I can feel him smile, but he simply says it again. "I love you."

I force myself to pull away before I break and tell him everything like the complete idiot I am. "Goodnight."

I can feel the sadness in his gaze as I turn away to go upstairs. "Goodnight, Darling. You're priceless. Don't ever forget that."

I'm just glad he didn't ask me to say it this time. Because I honestly don't think that I could make myself do it.

It's just so, so far from true.

POV Change Sponsored by Mjolnir

Luke

I watch Nila go, feeling my heart break for the millionth time today. I know she's not telling me something. And with her sleeves... I just don't know what to think. I sink back onto the couch, allowing my head to drop to my hands.

I can't believe that happened to her. My precious daughter... my priceless girl, treated like she was worth as much as a piece of trash. I know she's been struggling for a while before today, but I simply don't understand why God would let this happen to her on top of everything else. She doesn't deserve this. She's worth so much more than all of it.

It's nearly midnight, but I know Joel would want me to call him anyway. And I also know that I need to talk this out. But I don't think I can make myself say what happened to Nila out loud, so I text him instead.

Joel?

He responds quickly, his words concerned and gentle.

Yeah, Luke? What's wrong? Talk to me

I'm sorry it's so late, but I just thought you would want to know. And I needed to talk it out with someone

Of course. Don't worry about it, Luke. Do you want me to call instead?

Maybe in a minute. But I want to tell you over text

Luke, what's going on?

I feel myself fighting tears as it sinks in all over again the horror that my daughter lived through today.

I'll send you the video. Just... brace yourself

You're scaring me...

I'm sorry. Just watch this

I send him the link to the video, off of my drive, which it already uploaded to automatically, and wait, fighting back my tears as it, recorded in my mind, plays there over, and over, and over again, laced with visions of my daughter's broken spirit, the way she sobbed as I put that necklace on her, the way she can't look me in the eye.

The video isn't long, and a new text from my older brother comes in within two minutes.

I'm calling you

Seconds after the text comes in, my phone vibrates in my hand, Joel's name appearing on my screen. Wearily, still fighting tears, I swipe to accept the call and raise it to my ear.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I just... I didn't know how else to tell you."

When he speaks, and I hear the fact that he's crying, I break and begin to do the same all over again.

"Luke, I... I'm so sorry," he chokes out helplessly. "I know I saw her after it... must have happened, but... is she okay?"

"Physically?" I murmur sadly. "She's okay." I take a deep breath before continuing. "Like I told you earlier, I knew there was something wrong when she got into the car, but I... I had no idea..."

"How did you find out?" he asks.

"A boy in the youth group, Legend, saw it happening from a school window," I reply, trying to force myself steady, keep myself from breaking all over again. "He knew... he knew he couldn't stop it, so he took that... that video, and showed it to his older sister, a youth leader, and Zane, and Zane showed it to me tonight when I came in to get Nila."

"I..." I know he's shaking his head without seeing him. "I don't... why?" The last part comes out helpless, devastated, and confused. It sounds just like I'm feeling on the inside.

"I don't know," I say weakly. "Katherine... you saw her... she was the one who set it up. Just to... to torture Nila, I guess." I squeeze my eyes shut as I saw the words. "And the boy... he just... did as he was told. I don't know... how could he..." I trail off. There's nothing to say.

We're silent for a long moment, and I know he's feeling just as useless as I am, unable to do anything to change what happened to the girl we both love so much.

Finally, Joel speaks again, his voice coming out a whisper. "Why didn't she tell us?"

His question is yet another reminder of the same one that's been beating at me ever since I watched that video myself.

Why? Why is she so scared of me? Why doesn't she know I'll love her no matter what? Why did she think I'll be angry? What else is she hiding, and why is she hiding it?

"I don't know." I drop my head back to my free hand. "I... I don't understand. She has no idea how much we love her, and I... I don't know why, Joel!"

He takes a breath to answer, but I keep going.

"I can't believe I've been so terrible to her! I... she needed me, and she was too scared to tell me. She thought I'd be angry about it! I... I'm such a hypocrite! I don't even treat my own daughter like she's priceless, like I'll love her no matter what, and yet I... I preach about it..." I sit up sharply, pulling my hand through my hair, hard. "She has no idea how much I love her, Joel." This part comes out a whisper. "I haven't even shown her that much."

"Luke." He's crying harder as he responds too. "I know. I know it feels like that, because it's exactly what I'm feeling too. But this was not you. This was Satan doing what he does best, lying to her and tricking her into believing everything she's been told isn't true and nothing she's been told is. She used to know that we loved her, but... but then Satan hit her, and he hit her hard. I don't know why God is letting this happen to her. I don't know why He's letting the devil twist her mind so badly that she doesn't even know we love her anymore, but it is not your fault. You are an amazing father, Luke."

"But..." I try to swallow my tears, but I fail miserably. "but, she thought I'd be angry, Joel! Because a boy took advantage of her! She... she was so scared. She..." I take a deep breath. "she took her necklace off."

To anyone else, it might sound weak. But we know how much that meant. Nila spends every waking hour in that necklace, and she wasn't wearing it. She didn't even really try to lie when I saw it. She tried to find something to say, but there wasn't anything. We all knew exactly what that meant.

Yet again, my older brother's tears return in full-force. "Did you give her another one?"

"Yes."

"You put it on her?"

"Yes."

The single words are all I can choke out right now.

I hear him take a deep breath. "Why was she back there?" he asks finally. "How did Katherine get her there?"

Yet another question that I know I don't have the real answer to.

"She's blackmailing her," I sigh. "Nila says that she's threatening to spread rumors about her that aren't true, but I think... I think Katherine knows something that we don't, and she was threatening to make sure it got back to me. If Nila didn't meet her, if she told anyone. She's using something against her."

Joel sighs sadly on the other line. "Another reason she didn't tell you."

"Because she doesn't think I'll love her through whatever it is." I know the sentence sounds utterly broken, but that's because it is. I've let her down so badly.

"You're gonna go into the school tomorrow to handle this?" Joel asks after several seconds of silence.

"Tomorrow morning," I tell him. "Nila says she just wants to take the online classes, at least for a while."

"Of course," he agrees sadly.

I exhale sadly. "I know she's terrified of the boy and Katherine. Petrified. I know she's going to walk away from this with some form of PTSD."

I can see Joel's heartbroken face without having him in front of me.

"But also," I add softly, "she's still terrified of whatever threat Katherine's been holding over her head. She begged me not to go in at all. She's so scared, Joel. Not only of Katherine, but of... of me."

"Because of Satan, Luke," he reminds me gently. "Not because of you." He doesn't give me a chance to argue. "And what Katherine is doing to her is too terrible for words. But we need to know whatever she does, and at least... at least you know she'll be sure to tell you tomorrow. Is Nila going with you?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "I think she's still hoping to stop Katherine from telling me."

"Is Courtney going?"

"I don't think so. I told her she didn't have to, and you know her... I'm going to have to be tough, and she hates situations like this. Besides, with the kids... since Mom and Dad already had them tonight..."

"I get it." He hesitates before offering quietly, "Do you want me there? I'm so much more than willing to come. For you. For her."

Even though the option hadn't even crossed my mind, it's like him voicing it lifts a giant weight off of my shoulders.

"Joel..." I falter. "You... you don't..."

"Luke." He says steadily. "I told you. I love you two both so much. I will be there in a heartbeat, but only if you want me."

I feel a fresh wave of tears hits me. "Joel, would you?"

"Of course, I would, Luke!" he replies passionately. "I'll be there. I'll send Moriah over to support Courtney, because I know it's where she'll want to be anyway. What time?"

"I was going to go at ten," I tell him reluctantly. "I'm picking up the kids at nine, so I was gonna go after that."

"Then we'll be at your house at nine-thirty," he says certainly. "Moriah can stay with Courtney, and I can go with you."

"Thank you so much, Joel," I choke out. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Don't mention it, Luke," he responds seriously. "There's nowhere I'd rather be than supporting you in this, alright? All I want to do is love on Nila and be there for you."

"Thank you," I repeat, helpless to say anything else.

"And we'll be praying for you," he adds.

"Joel..." I hesitate, but force myself on. "Will you pray now?"

"Absolutely."

He launches into a prayer that says it all, perfectly, like he knows everything that I haven't even told him. Like he can see into my heart, into Courtney's, and into Nila's, all at once, and pray for it all.

When he's done, I say it again. "Thank you, Joel."

"Don't mention it." He hesitates before adding, "Luke, maybe you should call Dad. You know he wouldn't care a bit about the time."

I sigh. "I've bothered you enough so late. I don't need to drag him in too. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"Alright, if you're sure." Another pause, before he finally says it. "How... how is Nila, Luke? You've told me what she's done, but..."

I knew the question was coming, but the reminder of just how hurt she is still shatters me all over again. I close my eyes, shaking my head.

"Joel... It breaks my heart."

He knows that's the best I can articulate her condition, and he exhales deeply.

"I'll shoot her a text. Just to be there."

"Thank you."

"I love you, Luke."

"I love you too."

"Hang in there. I'll see you tomorrow."it

A/N: Okay, guys, for any of you who haven't seen, I've finally gotten my life together and created an update schedule. I have the full thing for all of my projects in a book, but I'm hoping to update this one every Tuesday. This is experimental but hopefully I can stick to  it.