I feel... I feel like I'm floating. And yet, am I standing still? Where is this place? Am I...dead?

Levi... I'm sorry I couldn't fight anymore. I know you told me to fight until the end, but really, what's the point? I fought and struggled my entire life... wasn't that enough? I was just so tired of it all. You don't think I'm a coward... do you?

"(F/N!!)"

A voice? It sounds so... sad. Don't mourn for me; I'm happier here, where no one can hurt me ever again.

"OPEN YOUR EYES!"

****************************************

I could feel the ground rumbling beneath me, but I couldn't hear a sound. I could smell gunpowder and taste blood. My vision began to return gradually, but everything was still so bright and blurry. I could make out the shape of two figures above me: one standing, the other sitting so close. Their lips were moving, but I couldn't hear what they said.

The ringing in my ears began to fade, just enough for me to make out a deep roll of thunder nearby. No, not thunder... cannon fire.

I could sense the pressure of hands on my shoulders, but I still wasn't fully aware of my body. So many people were rushing by in a blur. The figure closest to me was starting to become more distinct. A mangled mess of black hair. Skin painted red with blood. Grey eyes... why are they so afraid?

I could gather that he was speaking to me now, but it was still so muffled. Just then, I inhaled sharply to the first audible words filling my ears with a desperate plea.

"DON'T YOU LEAVE ME, (F/N)...!"

Levi.

I could finally see his face...hear his voice... and witness the fear leaving his eyes, replaced so happily by welcome relief. I tried to grasp where we were and how we got there, but I was still so groggy and confused. I saw Levi look up toward the second man who had been standing over us as he muttered something unintelligible. I recognized the kind blue eyes smiling down on me: Commander Erwin. I instinctively tried to sit up and salute him, but both he and Levi were quick to stop me.

"(F/N), you are in no shape to move. Honestly, I should be the one saluting you. It was your quick thinking out there that alerted us to your position. When we saw your signal flares, we were able to assemble a team of men to ride out immediately. You should also be grateful to the soldiers who have impeccable accuracy when it comes to aiming those cannons," Erwin said.

My eyes widened as I finally recalled what had happened. I had given up so easily at the end that I had never even noticed we were being rescued. The titan that had picked me up was hit by cannon fire, and then I fell...

"(F/N), you and Captain Levi both have each other to thank for making it out alive."

I smiled warmly, knowing that was true in more ways than one. I watched Commander Erwin motion to a few soldiers nearby, then turn back to Levi.

"Our Medical Officers have made-ready a wagon to take you back to camp. You both require treatment immediately. I will see to it that the remaining soldiers return safely behind the wall before I join you. Again, I am glad to see you two alive."

I could feel myself being lifted gently onto a stretcher by the hands of the two medical officers. Obviously, Levi had refused such treatment and just stood alongside me. I mustered up just enough strength to reach out and tug on his sleeve before we left the wall for the wagon below.

"Levi," I whispered, still barely able to speak.

His eyes flashed at mine, warning me not to waste my energy on words. But I called out his name again anyway.

"Save your strength, (F/N)."

I waited for a moment, my limp fingers still draped over his arm, before muttering his name one more time.

"Levi... Hey... I didn't die."

I smiled bleakly, rather proud of myself for getting in a little jab before passing back out from exhaustion. Levi released an exasperated exhale, which one could have argued was not quite a laugh, but instead his acknowledgment of my stubborn humor. He squeezed my hand before returning it gently to my side. We both had a long road of recovery and healing ahead of us.

The extent of our injuries was far worse than we initially thought, so returning to the battlefield wasn't going to happen for quite some time, much to our discontent.

I constantly overheard nurses demanding that Levi return to his cot and rest, but he would just blatantly ignore their orders. He was always complaining about the "shitty excuse for cleanliness" in his room and was usually caught bringing it up to his standard. Eventually, the nurses just gave up, knowing he would do whatever he wanted either way.

Levi would stop in for a visit as often as possible, mainly to check on my status. Our conversations stayed professional, discussing the results of the most recent expeditions, reminiscing on simple interactions we had with those who had fallen, and arguing over the next best course of action. Obviously, all of our conversations were held over a pot of black tea.  But the one thing we never addressed was the night we shared our first kiss and held one another as we slept.  We both knew the other hadn't forgotten, but I guess we just mutually agreed to let it be.

Levi was eventually discharged from the infirmary. Although I expected him to recover sooner than I would, I had still held out hope that we could leave together. We were, in fact, both itching to get out of there, bored out of our minds and sick of feeling useless. I tried to convince my medical officer that I was fully healed, but the nurse confirmed otherwise. I began to push myself during physical therapy, attempting to speed up the healing process. Of course, that just produced setbacks, causing me to become even more frustrated than before.

One evening, after a particularly strenuous session of rebuilding strength in my leg, I retreated to my room to clear my mind, drawing a hot bath in hopes of relaxing my sore body. I grimaced as I peeled my pants from my legs; the swelling had increased from overuse. I was, however, grateful that I could finally unbutton my shirt using both hands. There had been times when I had been so flustered by my one-handed inability to loop a damn button that I almost spent the day topless.

I breathed in the steam, then let out a sigh of relief as I lowered my aching body into the soothing heat. Closing my eyes, I dipped my head backward, sinking farther and deeper underwater. It was always a strange sensation, floating submerged. How could one feel so free underneath the same element that could drown you?

I exhaled bubbles to the surface, wishing to stay immersed in the silence for longer. I apprehensively rose from the water, drawing in a gasp of air. As I swept my hands over my face and down my hair, I opened my eyes to find I wasn't alone. Startled and embarrassed, I instinctively wrapped my arms across my bare chest and backed away with a yelp.

"Thought I was gonna have to come in after you," muttered a nonchalant proclamation.

"What the hell, Levi!? Have you ever heard of knocking!?"

"I did. You didn't answer."

I just stared at him in utter disbelief. He had just let himself right in, waltzing straight into my bathroom like it was nothing. I waited for him to speak again, to explain why he felt it necessary to disturb me while bathing. But he just pulled up the stool from the corner and sat himself down next to the tub, still staring at me blankly.

"Can you... at least get me a towel or something?" I stammered, visibly perturbed by his intrusion. He just leaned back against the cabinets and sighed.

"Just wanted you to hear it from me first. I'm finally riding out on an expedition again. We leave first thing in the morning."

My eyes lowered in sorrow, crushed that he would be leaving so soon. I had hoped we could fight alongside each other, sharing in a triumphant return. I glanced back up at him, his gaze yet to break. I wanted to wish him good luck, tell him to stay safe...and beg him to stay. I had found such comfort in knowing he was only steps away from me, but I could feel myself begin to panic as the vulnerability began to creep back in. I tried to hold back the lump rising in my throat as I clenched my jaw and dug my nails into my arms.

"I'm coming back, you know," Levi said sternly, leaning forward onto the tub.

I glared at him from out of the corner of my eye, cringing at those words.

"Don't promise me something you don't know," I growled.

Levi sat up slowly before bending over me, pressing one hand against the wall just above my shoulder. I could feel his breath on my skin as I backed into the cold tile behind me. I hugged myself a bit tighter, very aware of how close he had gotten to my naked body. I avoided eye contact for as long as possible, but I knew he wasn't going to move until I acknowledged him.

Finally giving in, I turned to speak only to feel his lips greet mine. I was dumbfounded by his actions and visibly so. His hand slid down the wall and tenderly wrapped behind my neck, pulling me closer to deepen our kiss.

His other hand dipped into the water, pulling the chain of the stopper to drain the tub. I could hear the water begin to twist away from me, revealing the scars it had hidden beneath. With barely a puddle left, Levi stepped one foot into the tub, lifting me into his arms. I felt him whisk me away from where I had huddled in shame as he carried me to my room. There, we would reveal secrets to each other that no one else knew.