Roxana

Well, Roxi, you had your date. Was it nice?

It was more than nice. I haven't felt so excited since I went for the first time with my ex on vacation. I had been so happy and in love; but now that I think about it, all my interactions with Bogdan feel like having been forced and idealized.

Bah, you are just being bitter and mean because you might just see the light at the end of your tunnel and the very dreamy perspective of a new romance. With Bogdan, it was a nice relationship until it wasn't anymore. Leave it at that. It was years ago. Live in the now. 

And my mind flies yes again in that direction. I do find Marco really cute, and sexy, and funny, and it feels just right. I like the way he talks with that weird accent of his when you sometimes hear the Italian cadence protruding through the English. I also like what he is saying, sassy and funny or sexy and serious with a dash of gloom, and I would really, really like this to go on a bit longer.

Marco in the context of the future wasn't something I thought of so far, but now the thought pushes itself into my mind without me being able to stop it. The plan was to quit in a month or so, but that would mean I have to kiss this, not sure how to call it, goodbye. I do not really want to, to be honest. It is my first romantic thing in years and I am so into it I feel all my brain cells are on vacation.

However... One issue is still pending. Laying down on the bed, I dial Kary's number.

"Girl! Haven't heard you in days; you only talk to Dani nowadays."

"I didn't want to annoy you more than usual."

"Shut up, bitch."

"How are you and how is your mom?"

"I saw her yesterday. But we didn't talk. Meaning I 'happened' to be in the hospital yard when she was taken for a walk by the nurse. She saw me and smiled but the bodyguard was there and she was afraid to do more. She looked at me as if she wasn't mad at me and I..." Her voice breaks under light sobs.

"I am sorry, girl. So sorry. Next weekend I will be in Bern and I will pamper the hell out of you. I love you."

"I know ya' do. We are going to the amusement park or a pool or something. Me, you, and the little sucker. And after that, we get a little bit drunk, just you and me, like responsible adults."

"Listen. Can I ask you a favor?"

"Another one?"

"Ok sorry, never mind."

"Yo. I am joking. Shoot."

"Hmm, there is this guy that I sort of have a thing with."

"Ooh. Sort of thing means stuff evolved since the last time we talked. Go on, please." Kary is trying to suppress laughter.

"Yeah, well... Could you try to find out stuff about him?"

"Stuff, like what stuff?"

"Hmm, turns out that this guy might not be who I assumed he was."

I pause not knowing how to phrase it.

"But? Come on bitch, I am sweating here."

"But probably a relative of Stefano Messina because Tomaso is calling him sir which is strange. However, on our contracts was always only one name and the internet does not show any records about Marco Messina. Well, at least not matching his description. So..."

"So I am intrigued too. Damn."

"So I really want to know who the guy I want to bang is."

"I am on it. So on it, you don't even imagine," says Kary, laughing.

At least it will distract her a bit.

I hope they are not related because that would kind of kick me out of the race. Screw you, Christian. Even after I got rid of my very misplaced affection for you, you still manage to screw up my love life.

Christian... I didn't hear anything from him in a while though. This is odd. He doesn't call, only emails, lately.

And then, out of the blue, outside appears an unexpected loud noise. Intrigued I open the curtain to my little container window and, holy shit, a helicopter is about to land in front of the villa. It's an emergency helicopter judging by the colors.

Shit, shit, shit! I can't help being concerned and against better judgment, I storm outside and run to the front yard where the thing landed. I hope Marco is okay.

Why wouldn't he be? Yes, Stefano was angry but he wouldn't hurt him, or would he? No, he wouldn't. We are not in the middle ages. But guys still brawl in bars. But he wouldn't, most of all if they are related.

I think rationally but my feet move on their own. When I reach the front yard, the helicopter is taking off and Tomaso is the only one standing in the wind gushes produced by the machine.

He sees me and walks over.

"Where is... " I pause. "Marco." I decide in the end.

"He flew to the hospital with Don Stefano."

"Why? Is he hurt?"

"Don Marco? No. He is... as good as he can be in the given situation."

"What happened?"

"That. Is none of your business."

Auch, but he is right.

"Roxana, for your own good, stay away from them. From both of them. Believe me, it's for the best."

He looks stern but not mean, just genuinely concerned, however...

"Okay..." I mutter in the end.

Whether I will be able to comply is another issue.

Note to self, next time ask for the guy's number before making out with him. That would have come in handy, most of all because they didn't come back the next day, nor the day after.

A whole week passes, and I have to leave for Switzerland without knowing what Marco is doing or if he is well.

On Friday, shortly before midnight, I land in Bern and am greeted by an enthusiastic Dani and a sort of sad Kary.

It feels nice to be back and see familiar faces.

On the surface Dani seems fine; he laughs, is hard-working at school, and helps Kary with housework with a smile on his face. But late at night, she hears him crying silently behind locked doors.

When I ask him how he is doing, he answers that he is fine, smiles, and huggs me. So he is clearly not telling the truth.

The next day we go to a water park and I am happy seeing both of them smile.

My right shoulder is still branded and I feel several strange looks on me, including Kary's when I display it in a bathing suit.

"Jesus. Was that Ivan?" she whispers.

"Yeah. It's not my cup of tea to do this to myself. Now I can't wear spaghetti straps for the time being it seems."

"What did your beau say when he saw them?"

"Honestly, nothing. That's strange, right?"

"A bit. But well it's not the easiest subject to approach. 'Do you self-harm, girl, or was it the mob?'"

"Yeah, I know, right? I am not the easiest person to date. We are dating, right? Somehow..."

"I would say so. But maybe he is not after easy but after real."

"How poetic. Did you meet a new girl lately?" I ask, elbowing her.

"Actually no, and this time I wish I would have. Having someone by your side is not so bad when life is shitty."

"Kary, what's up? I mean for real."

We both lean back on the sun chairs and I put my arm around her.

"Mm. They thought mom was doing fine but then they did some more tests and scans and discovered other tumors. One of them is in her brain and cannot be operated. Saiyd said that it's not sure if she will make it after all. Despite this, Dad still does not let me see her. I asked again. Even Saiyd begged him to let me but he doesn't want to."

I look at her and feel my heart breaking.

"Have you tried just going there? I mean you are family, they have to let you in."

"Yeah. But I think Dad bribed the people there to not let me. I was kicked out three times so far."

"Hmm ok. How about we break in?" I say the first thing that crosses my mind. 

"What?"

"You heard me."

"We can't."

"Maybe we can't, but I am very keen on trying."

"Seriously?" asks Kary eyeing me concerned.

"Bitch, I marched into an obscure eastern mobster's home; I can march into a hospital in Switzerland where the worst thing they can do is arrest me. We are going tomorrow. Kay?"

"You really want to be my hero, don't you?" she says, smiling.

"Yes, because you are mine. You came all the way to fucking Moldova the get my baby brother. Besides owing you one, I love you."

And that was that. The next day all three of us take the train to Zürich. We check into a cheap AirBnB where Dani will be waiting for us in the evening and go sightseeing until it turns dark outside.

After dusk, I and Kary go for a walk to the hospital where Kary's mother is being treated.

The wing with the cancer patients has only four stories and her mom's room is on the third.

We observe the building and enter the inner yard that can be accessed freely through a passage and my conclusion is that the situation is quite shitty. Kary tried walking inside, crying, and using her press license, but nothing worked.

The building most probably has a security system so breaking a window is not recommended because they will notice right away. Buuut... ding, ding ding Jackpot. My eyes sparkle as I see one tilted window on the second floor.

"Kary, there." I point to it.

"What?"

"The tilted window."

"What about it?"

"We are going to enter that way."

"We are going to die trying, Roxi."

"Nah, I am good at climbing. It's dark, nobody will see us because of the trees."

I am wearing dark clothes crowned by my newly acquired leather jacket that is quite neat, I must admit.

"Are you sure?" whispers Kary.

"Well no, but it's the best shot we have. Wish me luck," I say kissing her on the cheek.

"And me?"

"Just wait. After I am inside I will find a way to let you in."

The rain pipe seems solid and the wall is uneven enough to put your feet on if necessary.

Night birds are singing as I climb slowly and silently the building to the window of the second floor. 
You cannot open the damn tilted windows unless you close them again so I don't even try, but push my arm through the opening to reach the handle of the adjoined window. Damn short hands short people have. My fingertips reach the handle but not enough to push it open. Fuck. It has to work. I leap to the side dangerously and the window handle opens but my other hand slips from the rain pipe and last minute only I manage to catch the window seal to not fall. That results in a few broken nails and scratches that smear the seal bloody.

Doesn't matter, the window is open and I pull myself up and enter the building. It's luckily a corridor, not a patient room, and quite dark and silent. I walk slowly to identify where I am. On my right are several ORs. Ok, Roxi, now hurry.

I walk alertly along the corridor till I find the staircase and run down. Here it's safe; here it's not so suspicious if somebody finds me.

Fuck. The door opens right when I pass the first floor and I bump into two men. One is tall and blond, with icy blue eyes. He wears a doctor's gown and on his nameplate, I read Dr. Haller von Arendt. Shit. The other one has dark skin, several earrings, piercing dark eyes but an extremely jolly expression on his face to fit his flamboyant look.

"Was suchen Sie hier?/ What are you doing here?" asks the blond doctor.

"Ich suche einen Kaffeeautomaten./ I am searching for the coffee machine," I answer the first thing that comes to my mind.

The fashionable guy is eyeing me as if he can smell my lie but doesn't say anything.

"Im Erdgeschoss./ Ground floor," answers the blond doctor curtly.

"D-danke./ T-thanks," I manage to stammer while the other man pulls him away and they exit the staircase.

There is a clack and holly mother of Christ, the handsome doctor just dropped his access badge. This must be my lucky day.

I grab it instantly and run to the ground floor.

Fire exits have the interesting property of being able to be opened from the inside at any time but not from the outside. I write Kary to come to the closest one and we sneak both back up to the third floor.

"You made it."

"Shhh. If you see a handsome blond doctor or his flamboyant partner coming our way, run. Ok?"

"What? "

"Ha, I knew it would come in handy," I say when I see the door to enter the cancer section.

"What?"

"I might have stolen a badge of 'Dr. Christoph Haller von Arendt, Attending general surgeon'," I say, showing her the badge.

The words however become irrelevant when Kary sees through the window the woman in the first room and runs towards her bed.

I can't fight the tears that gather in my eyes and flow unleashed over my cheeks till the rivulets meet under my chin, clouding my view and stealing my voice.

Just bewitched by this strange atmosphere woven in joy and pain I look at them for minutes and can't help remembering my own mother and how I wish to be able to hug her once more.

At some point, Kary's mom points at me and Kary comes to grab my hands and lead me inside to her bed.

"Hello, I am Roxana," I say, smiling wholeheartedly yet a bit shy at the same time.

The woman says something to Kary in Arabic and Kary nods and displays a strangely sad smile.

"What did she say?" I ask timidly.

"She asked if you are my ...girl... friend. And I said yes because she is afraid I am all alone."

"Well, you are not alone. You will always have me," I say taking her hand. "And I can be your fake girlfriend if you want. I mean I do love you."

For some time I look at them chatting and hugging.

"Kary, we need to go at some point before someone finds us." I manage to say at some point. 

"I don't care. Let them find me; I am not leaving," answers Kary.

But in life, it is good to be careful with what you wish for because you just might get it. Still, I don't have the heart to say anything. They had not seen each other or talked in six years.

Around six in the morning, the door opens and two men enter together with a doctor and nurse. I know we are officially screwed when the older man starts screaming in Arabic.

Nice to meet you, Kary's dad. He walks to the bed and yanks Kary away from her mom. Kary looks at him and tells him probably something quite mean judging by the spiteful tone. He lifts his hand to hit her across the face. Outraged I grab his arm and the doctor and her brother grab him and pull him away.

"Frau Abadi, so leid es mir tut, Sie müssen leider gehen./ Miss Abadi, as sorry as I am having to tell you that, you have to go, else we have to call security," says the female doctor. Her voice is however full of sympathy.

After further screams between Kary and her father, she gives in and around seven we walk out of the building while she is still sobbing.

"Thank you, Rox," she says, wiping her tears away. "When is your flight?"

"In the evening. But don't worry, I will be back soon. I have just sent Christian my resignation," I say and hug her.

"What? Why?"

"Well you and Dani need me, and family comes first. I will find another job."

_____________________

Long time no talking.

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