Tim and I were still bickering as we entered Mary's kitchen.

"How can he be your favorite?" I shot to Mary.

"How can I not? There's not much competition," Tim shot.

"Wait, what about me?" James put his phone down to pay attention.

"Grandkids are a different group altogether," Mary corrected.

"Oh, so I'm your favorite grandchild," James confirmed.

"Well, dear, 'favorite' is a fluid term," Mary began teasingly.

"It's not Viv, as long as it's not Viv!" James demanded. "I can't take it if it's Viv."

"Of course, it's not Viv." I shook my head to myself. I suddenly felt the entire room's eyes fall on me. "Sorry, that was one of those things I thought I said in my head, but apparently, I said in my outside voice."

"Geez, she's just like Viv," James grumbled, eliciting a laugh from the room.

"Anyway," I redirected with a bit more volume. "I just suspect I know who Mary's favorite grandkid is."

"I didn't think you were supposed to have favorites?" James argued.

"Oh, sweetie, that's just what people tell the ones that aren't their favorite," Tess corrected.

"So, who's the favorite?" James questioned.

"Viv," Tim and Tess said in unison.

"No way, it's Jackson," I argued.

"I think it's me," James offered.

"Mary, you're up," Tim prodded.

"All this talk of favorites. I love all of you." She smiled as she absently wiped down an already clean spot on the counter.

"Come on, just give us a hint of who's right," Tim poked.

Mary's eyes lifted with a twinkle and gave me a wink.

"No!" The room erupted in unison.

"I'd rather be right than the favorite!" I teased in Timmy's direction.

"That's so not true. Being the favorite is way better than being right."

"Wrong!" I stuck my tongue out at him as I spoke.

"Don't hit send," Tess' voice rose above my bickering with Tim.

"Too late," James announced.

"Oh dear, I suppose I'll be hearing about that." Mary shook her head.

Dinner passed much less eventfully, mainly because we were all too busy eating. The only exception was Tim, who paused long enough to make a case for why he should get all the leftovers.

"I'm the one that's too thin," I counterpointed his argument.

"Yeah, but you live here. You get home cooking all the time."

"Do you live here?" Mary asked in her pointed tone.

"Um, well..."

"Every night and no...." Tim's words were cut off by a loud "ow" after I kicked his shin to shut him up.

"Clearly, this is a conversation you want to have without me, which is fine because I told Dom I'd meet up with him at his place." James slid his plate away as he spoke.

"Be home by midnight," Tess conditioned.

"Of course, Mom," James gave her a quick hug and then mimicked the move with Mary.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Tim called after him. "Mary, may I help you with the dishes?" He then added in a sickly formal tone.

"Of course," she smiled.

"And that's why I'm the favorite," Tim teased.

"Your poor attempts at sucking up aren't the reason you're my favorite. You need me more than the others," Mary added over her shoulder.

I burst into laughter. "Your ineptness makes you the favorite!"

"Shut up!" Tim shot as he departed with his arms full of plates.

"Okay, spill," Tess immediately said.

"Spill what?"

"You and Billy haven't...."

"We were going to, but the first night felt like a lot of pressure, so I asked to go slow, and Billy is running with the slow... er, maybe running isn't the right word... he's really sauntering with the slow."

"Of course he is. You triggered the gentlemen button."

"Right, but I didn't mean slow like slow; I just meant slow, like 'let's make sure we're good' slow."

"So, you want to...."

"Of course, I want to. Do you know how frustrating it is to be around him all the time, to sleep next to him in bed and... nothing!"

"Nothing?"

"Well, no, not nothing, but nothing satisfying."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"Yeah, and he wants to build a solid foundation. He has this idea that we didn't work before because we got distracted by Seraphina."

"Who the hell is Seraphina?" Tess' eyes flared in anger at the mention of another female name.

"Oh," I blushed.

"Um, do you guys like... are you into... is it like a tricycle thing?"

"Ew, no! Seraphina is... you know...."

"No, I do not know. Who is Seraphina? I've literally never met her?"

"Well, that's probably a good thing. Seraphina isn't a person... it's...."

"You named it?"

"Billy did," I giggled. "It's that good."

"It's so good he named it?"

"Mmhmm," I nodded.

"And now nothing? Not even a little Sera?"

"Nothing, no Phina is making contact," I confirmed.

"Wow, how long do you think he can hold out?"

"Knowing Billy, I'm scared to even think about it."

"Yeah, but you could entice him."

"I could, but... his reasoning isn't wrong. I mean, I agree I want a solid foundation; I also really want him."

"It'll happen. I bet when you're in Maine."

"I'm just trying to focus on other things."

"Are other things going well?" Tess prodded.

"Yeah, I think so. We're talking more about ourselves in concrete ways. And I admit that I'm listening to him more. I don't know if you know this, but I used to reject things on principle."

"You? No." Tess teased.

"I know. Like the car, I don't care what I drive, and if that tank makes Billy feel better, why do I care?" I shrugged.

"When you feel you have to prove something, it comes out in weird ways. I'm just glad you realize who the real rock star is in the relationship."

"So, speaking of rock stars. Billy is setting up an office for me at the studio. He mentioned there were many offices open...."

"Yeah, they have a lot of room for growth." Her brow furrowed as she spoke. "Where's this going?"

"Well, I know Billy always respects your opinions, and Tim was saying today how he can't survive in life without your guidance. It may be time you got your own office."

"Me? But what would I do? Babysit Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum? That's not what I want to do."

"That's not what you would be doing... Art Direction."

"Art Direction?"

"Yeah, you can help with the packaging and marketing." My words bubbled at the idea.

"I don't know. What does Billy think?"

"I haven't talked about it with Billy. I'm talking about it with you."

"Well, I need to be offered a job. I can't just set up an office and expect someone to pay me."

"True, but I don't think finding a role is a problem. You have to decide what you want to do."

"I don't know. The only job I ever really had was running the record store."

"Did you like it?"

"Of course, it was the best job ever. I got to hang out and talk music all day! Plus, I always got my hands on the trade-ins first so I could pull the things I wanted." She winked.

"Maybe you should see if the old store is hiring."

"It's not; Tim's in there at least twice a week. The store manager, Zoe, is still super pumped for the job. I doubt she'll ever give it up. Plus, I like to have a flexible schedule to meet up with Tim when they're touring. I know they usually only go out for a couple of weeks so that Billy can be with the kids, but two weeks is a long ass time."

I smiled, "you and Tim are the best." I sighed, thinking about how great they were. "How is Tim?"

"He's good. He's Tim," Tess offered as she twisted her napkin.

"He and I had a good talk today. But I owe you an apology too. I shouldn't have just left you and Tim. You have always been good friends to me, and what happens with Billy and I should never have affected us."

"You and Tim talked?" Tess skeptically asked.

"Yeah, I always knew how much Tim meant to me. I guess I never realized how much I meant to him. It always felt like the Tim and Billy show," I admitted.

"I'm glad you two talked, and I accept your apology. But if you run away again..."

"I know; I know. I am not at all worried about that. I'm more worried that Billy will never forgive me and end up running away from me," I worried aloud.

"What?" Tess said incredulously. "Lil, Billy has very clearly forgiven you."

"He wants to have and acts like he has, but he hasn't yet," I murmured. "And that's okay," I soothed myself. "I'd rather him really dig in and get through everything now than have him just brush it away like nothing happened."

"What about you? Have you forgiven Billy yet?" Tess asked.

"Me? What do I have to forgive?" I questioned.

"Lil, Billy's hands weren't clean. You left, and that was a shitty thing to do, but he tried to make you his wife months after his divorce. It was like he could sub you in, and everything would be fine. It wasn't cool, especially since you had always said that was exactly what you didn't want."

"I didn't know what I wanted," I countered.

"But you got to figure that out, not Billy," Tess offered.

"I have," I declared.

"Excuse me?" Tess said, confused by my abrupt turn.

"I've forgiven Billy. I forgave him years ago," I confidently stated.

"How could you have forgiven him years ago?"

"Because I love him. I've always loved him. Every day, even over the last ten years, I loved him. I understand his motivations. And..."

"What?" Tess prodded.

"I'm not convinced he was wrong," I acknowledged.

Tess rolled her eyes at me.

"Is it so bad, Tess? A home filled with family, bickering, meals, and laughter. Since I've come back, the happiest moments are when I'm with family."

"Give it longer. The shine will wear off," Tess countered.

"We'll see."

"Have you and Billy talked about touring?" Tess tacked on as though trying to find the ticking time bomb.

"Yes, they have one coming up, but I'm sure you already knew that."

"Um, yeah. Touring is something that Tim runs by me," she teased.

"I'm going with him," I asserted.

"What? Really? Like the whole time?" There was a mix of shock and envy in her eyes.

"That's the plan. I asked Billy if he'd mind, and he said he'd love it."

"Wait, you're going on tour with him, and it was your idea?"

"Yeah, I plan to work remotely from wherever we are."

"Wow, you two are different now. Aren't you worried you'll hate it? I mean, remember the anxiety?"

"Honestly, after listening to all his music, it's just not as scary."

"I'm sorry; what now?" Tess' eyes grew wide.

"I listened to all his music... I'm a super fan now. Mary's getting me a button."

"You listened to all of it?"

"Yeah..."

"And it didn't cause a massive blow-up fight like...."

"No, honestly, he was usually right. I mean, he certainly exaggerated some parts, but I wasn't listening to him."

Tess sat back and surveyed me. "I have to say, I'm pretty impressed. I don't think I'd be okay with the difficulties Tim and I have had out there for the world to comment on."

"I don't think it's that impressive, and I don't care what the world thinks. I care what Billy thinks, and you, and Timmy, and Mary."

"You're my hero," Tess cooed.

"Oh, stop," I teased back.

The evening devolved into chatter between us until my phone disrupted the flow.

"Honestly, you're worse than James," Tim chided.

"This is the first text I've gotten all night," I grumbled as I pulled my phone from my pocket.

"Please come home now," was all Billy wrote, but it was enough to send a surge of panic through me.

"I have to go. Thank you, Mary, for dinner. It was amazing, as always."

"Of course, I'll see you tomorrow at Sunday dinner," she nodded.

I was pulling my jacket on and was trying to shove my feet into my boots when Tim joined me at the door and helped slide on my coat.

"Everything okay?" Tim asked.

"I don't know. He just said to please come home now."

Tim leaned against the wall and watched me slump to the bottom stair to put my boots on properly.

"I'm sure he just misses you."

"Has it been that long since Sarah and Billy have talked?"

Tim's head nodded before he opened his mouth. "It's been a minute."

My mind whirled to the memories of Billy's and Sarah's tense interaction in the hospital over a decade ago. "Do you remember the accident?"

"You mean the one I was in? Yeah, I think I can recall it."

"I was there when Sarah arrived. She and Billy were so cold to each other. I had never heard him so mean and angry."

Tim dropped his hands to me. Once I had grasped them, he pulled me up to him. "Lil, I love you, and I love Billy with you. But he's not always your Billy. He can be... hard."

I sighed. "I know."

"Do you? If seeing that side of Billy once over ten years ago still haunts you, what's going to happen when you see it daily?"

"Daily?"

"Lil, he..." Tim let out a sigh. "I'd have a plan b for your office in case the studio doesn't work out." There was genuine concern in his eyes.

"Well, I'll always have Mary. Her office comes with a side of lunch." I tried to lighten the mood.

"You mean her lunch comes with an office," he corrected.

"Timmy, I hear you and know what you're saying. Billy knows it too. Just let him try to be different," I requested. "I'm sorry; I gotta go. I love you, Timmy."

"I love you too, Lil. Call me if you need me."