Maddy remembers the first time she ever met Thea.

The first thing she thought was that she was beautiful. Beautiful in a way that Maddy had always envied. Beautiful in a confident, knew exactly who she was and didn't need to pretend, sort of way. Maddy had never experienced that a day in her life.

Thea was so much more than just beautiful, not that Maddy had known that then.

With her rich, coffee coloured complexion, she pulled off the vibrant greens, oranges and yellows that Maddy could only dream of wearing. She had a short, pageboy haircut and always wore beautiful, intricate earrings.

Sparkling hazel eyes seemed to see too much, and her mouth seemed to be perpetually curling up in a mischievous sort of smile. She had been wearing a small, wooden name tag that bore the name Thea.

And she was. Thea was so...Thea.

"Hi." Maddy had squeaked.

"Well hey there, newbie. What can I get for you?" She'd asked. So at ease, so carefree.

Thea knew all of her customers by sight.

Maddy knew what she wanted. She never got anything else.

"An almond latte, please."

Thea's head had tilted, her smile curving upwards as she gave Maddy another glance. It's like she had known that Maddy was holding out on her, and Maddy smiled.

"And could you sprinkle some cinnamon on top, if you have any?" She had added, quietly.

Thea had done a double take, her smile wicked and gleaming.

"Let me guess. It tastes like autumn?" She had said, like quoting a line in a film.

"Yes, exactly!" Maddy had said, leaning forwards as though discussing a secret.

She didn't often take to new people, and never this fast, but when Thea titled her head back and laughed, Maddy grinned too.

"I like you, almond-cinnamon-latte." Thea had said, punching in the order, and that made Maddy glow with pleasure.

"Maddy." She had supplied and Thea had nodded, like she approved.

"You, Maddy, seem like just my kind of person."

Maddy hadn't really believed it. With her ratty Jane Austen tote, knee length skirt and bobbly jumper, she was very rarely 'just someone's kind of person'. But the warmth of Thea's smile and the shine in her sparkling hazel eyes convinced her.

Thea was zealous in everything she did, and did not do. Her coffee order was a flat white, which Maddy had always thought laughable. Thea was the least flat white person she'd ever met. She wore her individuality on her sleeve like armour and, while she was feisty, she was kind too. Maddy believed that, maybe, Thea was just her type of person too.

That moment feels like a long time ago now, and Maddy can't quite believe that there had been a moment where they had been strangers. They've lived so much, shared so many moments in time, it feels bizarre to think that there were moments where they hadn't known each other.

It feels equally bizarre to know that there won't be any more.

From the outside, the front of Coffee Club looks exactly the same, but Maddy knows that when she goes inside the cafe, there will be something profoundly missing. She doesn't want to go in.

She pushes the door open, sucking in a deep breath as she does so.

The glance at the counter hurts, as she expects, but not as much as she had anticipated. She's still greeted by a friendly smile, and when she orders and pays, she finds that her usual order has slipped off her tongue without her realising.

That hurts a lot more than she realised.

When presented with her drinks, she stares at them with stinging eyes for a moment, before picking them up.

She doesn't want to be here, and she isn't nearly ready enough to be here. But she has a date to keep and she's never broken a promise yet. As she turns, drinks in hand, she pauses.

They had a table, Maddy and Thea. In actuality, it was really her table. Not Maddy's. But overtime, it had become their table. Their names are even scribbled on the artwork covered tabletop.

But today, someone else is sitting there.

Yet another thing that makes her eyes sting.

She contemplates sitting somewhere else, it's not like there isn't room. But she can't.

She can't explain it, but she knows where she has to sit like she's following lines in a script. So she forces her numb body to move towards the table, hesitating by the empty seat that is opposite the stranger. Maddy's seat, for this is where she always sits.

It takes a moment for him to look up, and when he does, he looks irritated.

His gaze flicks down to his hands, watching the cup that's clasped between them. He seems to be contemplating something as he tilts the chocolatey coloured liquid back and forth, and the seconds drag by unbearably. After what feels like a lifetime, his shoulders crumple as he sighs heavily.

With a curt, disgruntled glance, he nods his assent and Maddy nearly collapses into the chair. She flashes him a grateful smile, that feels more wobbly than anything else, but he's not even looking. She places the coffees on the table, trying and failing to wipe away her tears surreptitiously from beneath her round glasses.

Taking a deep breath, she checks her watch and finds that she's right on time.

12:59pm.

Thea hates it when Maddy's late, even though she always is herself.

Always was, Maddy corrects internally.

It's a strange sort of comfort to know that Thea won't ever be late again, but at the same time, it breaks her heart. As the minute hand swings round on her watch, she hears the stranger's watch beep the hour.

1pm.

Maddy nods to herself, sliding the flat white across the table to sit in front of the empty chair. Thea's chair.

The stranger across from her is staring, she can feel the weight of it on her frame, but she decides that today of all days, she just doesn't care. It would normally make her blush an unsightly shade of pink, make her skin crawl and feel the need to shift in her seat.

But not today.

Instead, she's watching the door, as though any minute now her friend will fly in, kimono billowing behind her in the breeze like a cape, her earrings swinging softly and tinkling like little pixies.

The front door does open and for a moment, Maddy almost laughs. Just as her back straightens, the stranger in front of her jolts in his seat. It's a hasty, subconscious movement, his features frozen.

She almost pities him. If he's expecting someone, they haven't shown. She supposes they have that in common, although Maddy had always known she was going to be stood up.

He finally relaxes, staring at his coffee as Maddy's shoulders deflate. An older gentleman makes his way through the door, juggling several shopping bags and his hat, and he closes the door with a rough clatter that Thea would never have allowed.

It's not her. Of course it's not her.

Maddy's eyes prickle again as she looks to the third cup on the table, the third cup that will remain untouched until it has long since gone cold. If the stranger thinks this odd, he doesn't say anything.

Neither of them make eye contact again and for that, Maddy is grateful. She's not good company today.

Instead, she sips her coffee and wonders what Thea would say, if she were here. She reminisces on long conversations, coffees that went cold but were still enjoyed, laughter and tears and everything in between.

In the end, Maddy is right. She stays sat there until the coffee has gone cold, and more importantly, until the sun has set. She hadn't realised when she sat down how important that would be to her, but as the sun had begun to set, she had watched through the window, completely captivated.

The colours had faded through the sky in one of the most glorious sunsets she'd ever seen and the vibrant pinks, golds and oranges had bounced around the walls of the cosy cafe, casting the room in a heavenly glow that felt, to Maddy, like a goodbye.

It had faded before her eyes, the sun sinking until finally the sky was shrouded in the deepest of blues. It was only then that she stood up, unwilling but ready to go.

The stranger stood up too, and Maddy realised for the first time in a long time that he was still there. Their eyes met, briefly, before Maddy turned away.

In them she saw a reflection of something she's seen far too much of lately.

As she pushes her way out of the door and into the night, she hopes only one thing.

That she never sees him again.

_

A/N

Hello lovely readers. It's been a little while. 

I won't lie, I completely lost my zest for writing. I just didn't have anything left to give, and it was upsetting, because writing is my life. For a long time it's been my only constant and I love to do it.

 I thought I'd ease myself back in with a short story, something bitter-sweet but important to me. Something that has helped me grieve and heal. This is, like all of my writing, pretty sad, but also full of unexpected hope. This is for anyone who has ever known loss.

You're not alone.

-F