"So, how'd it go?"

Gabrielle and I lay sprawled across my bed, a fort of blankets taking up most of the room in the dorm. She was spending the night in my private room, and she'd pounced on me immediately about her cousin.

"How's what go?" I asked innocently, and Gabrielle snorted.

"You and Sirius, you two looked awfully happy together. Have you two finally admitted your undeniable love for one another?" Gabrielle's eyes were lit up in curiosity, and I could tell immediately that she wanted all the details.

"Something like that." I told her vaguely, shifting my position so that I was on my side facing her. "He said he fancied me, and I said I fancied him as well."

Gabrielle let out a loud and obnoxious squeal, waving her arms above her head in happiness. "My little Cascade is growing up!" She cried, loud enough to probably wake the entire school.

"Shut up, you." I scolded her. "The only problem is that now I dunno what I'm supposed to do. Does this make us together? How am I supposed to explain that to the Dark Lord over the holiday?"

Gabrielle's face fell. "You're still on about that, aren't you? You can't ignore Sirius, Cas, and that's the only way you're going to be able to stick with the death eater crowd, as you've been calling it. They won't trust you if you're with a blood traitor." Gabrielle made a disgusted face as she said the words blood traitor, and I sighed.

"I know. Maybe I'll say I'm using him for information? I don't want to do this anymore, Belle." I said defeatedly. "I can't do this anymore, but I know I need to. I'm too far in."

"You can still get out of the situation, Cascade." Gabrielle's eyes searched mine, her tone grim. "You go any farther in this spying plan of yours and you're dead if you try and back out. If you want to leave it behind, you leave it behind now."

"I know, I know." I sighed. "I'm so close though, Belle, I can't give up now. I-I just won't do anything with Sirius."

"You're going to set aside your feelings and his feelings after last night? For something that might get you killed?" Gabrielle laughed incredulously. "Cascade, no offense, but do you realize how stupid that is? That would crush him, Cas, you can't do that to him."

"It would crush him like he's crushed plenty of other girl's hearts?" I retorted.

"No. This is different. They just fancied him for his looks and for being a troublemaker. You fancy him because you've learned who he really is beneath all that, this is different. He never liked any of those girls he's had flings with. Not truly, at least. He fancies you, Cascade. He really fancies you. I've seen the way he looks at you during meals, I've seen the look on his face when he sees you. I'm his cousin for Merlin's sake, so trust me when I tell you that you should not throw this away. Don't throw him away." Gabrielle grabbed my hands, squeezing them tightly. "He's worth so much more than you realize, Cas. So much more, he's so much more, everything about him is so much more."

"I-I-" I tried to speak, but I really couldn't. I knew that what Gabrielle was saying was true, but I couldn't bring myself to give up what I had gained. "I-I can't, Belle. I can't choose both."

"Then choose Sirius!" Gabrielle pleaded. "Merlin, Cas, the answer is so simple. Choose the one that means more to you!"

"But he doesn't!" I finally cried out. Gabrielle froze. "Yes, I fancy him, but the wizarding world matters more than a silly school crush. I have a chance to help save it, I can't throw that away."

"You know you can't throw Sirius away. He's a stubborn git, he won't take no for an answer, especially now that you've told him you feel the same." Gabrielle looked down at her hands. "Cascade, choose Sirius. I'm begging you. And if you can't give up this stupid spy thing, then try and do both, as much as I hate saying it."

"I'll try." I sighed once again. "I'll try."

---

When I woke up the following morning, I found that Gabrielle was still asleep, curled up around a bundle of pillows and blankets. Carefully making sure not to disturb my sleeping companion, I slipped out of bed, nearly stepping on Eliza, and went to get dressed.

By the time I returned, Andromeda hadn't woken up, and I decided to go and visit Professor Welsh, the DADA teacher. She'd assigned a two foot long essay on Inferi, and I had a few questions that I could ask her about it.

Scratching down a quick note to Gabrielle, I gathered up my things and headed out the door.

"Cas?"

I was just about to reach the DADA classroom when I heard Lily's voice. Turning around, I saw my old friend, the fiery redhead.

"Lily." I greeted, unsure of what terms we were on. We weren't best friends anymore, but I wasn't sure if we were friends at all.

"How are you?" Lily began conversation, and we walked to the classroom together. I reached for the classroom door, only to find it locked. "It's locked, isn't it?" Lily sighed. "I knew I should've come later in the day. Oh well, while we wait, we can catch up. I have a lot of things I'd like to speak with you about." Her tone was challenging, and I immediately knew she spoke of my relationship with Avery and his friends.

"I'm good, you?" I gave in, leaning against the wall as we waited.

"Positively brilliant. Now, what's all this deal with you and this new crowd?" Lily demanded. I squeezed my eyes shut, I knew I could tell her. She wouldn't tell anyone.

"You can't tell anyone what I'm about to say to you." I told Lily, who nodded eagerly. "I-I'm being a spy for the Resistance. I'm infiltrating the Dark Lord's ranks, I'm going to relay information to the Order."

"You're going to become a death eater, aren't you?" Lily's tone was fearful. "No, Cascade, you can't!"

"I have to, Lily!" I protested. "It's the only way!"

"But what about you and Sirius? I saw you at the ball, you can't just not tell him!" Lily cried.

"You sound just like Gabrielle." I chuckled darkly. "I can't tell him, Lily. He would stop me. And I'm not even sure what we are at this point."

Just then, we were interrupted. Gwyneth Rosier, Regulus Black, Barty Crouch Jr., and Isabella Parkinson came barreling down the corridor, stopping when they saw myself and Lily.

"Oi! What are you doing, hanging around with this mudblood?" Gwyneth called out to me with a disgusted expression.

I exchanged looks with Lily. Lily knew already that I was going to lie to save my reputation. This was Gwyneth Rosier, after all. Evan's younger sister, the girl with an obsession with the Dark Arts. Destined to be one of Voldemort's most loyal followers. Someone nobody wanted to mess with.

"I'm not with her, Rosier. Just waiting in line to see Professor Welsh 'bout an assignment. Quit your conclusion jumping." I spoke.

"My mistake, my mistake." Gwyneth apologized. "I should know better than to doubt you, after all, Evan's got real good things to say about you."

Behind her, Regulus and Barty whispered something back and forth, but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

"-That being said," Gwyneth continued. "Evan told me this morning that you went to the ball with Sirius Black," at this, I saw Regulus's eyes widen, and I found myself internally cursing Evan to hell. I didn't want to loose my friendship with Regulus, he was one of the only Slytherins I actually gave a damn about. Gwyneth finished what she was saying. "And no true supporter of the Dark Lord would go to the ball with a blood traitor."

My eyes narrowed and I prepared to lie. "Careful there, Rosier." I warned. "You don't understand anything about me. I didn't go to the ball with that egocentric buffoon, yes, I danced with him once, but I was also incredibly drunk at the time."

Gwyneth was persistent, however. "Drunk thoughts are sober thoughts, Elise." She said. I was about ready to hex the girl, the annoying thing she was.

"Twisted sober thoughts, if you really think about it." I retorted. "I can't deny the fact that I've considered being friends with Black many
times to get information, we all know he's going to join the blasted Order eventually. My drink was spiked, Rosier, I forgot all sense of pride and sense that I've ever had. And I danced with him once, nothing else happened. So stop conclusion jumping."

"Should we really be having this conversation in front of a filthy little mudblood?" Gwyneth crossed her arms, clearly trying to continue the fight even though she knew that she couldn't argue with me without further evidence and proof.

"No, we shouldn't. Goodbye Rosier, goodbye Regulus, goodbye Bartemius, goodbye Isabella." I nodded my head at all of them and left, knowing guilty that I couldn't acknowledge Lily because it would raise suspicion. I turned away, keeping my hand on my wand in case Gwyneth decided to throw a hex at me, something she'd been known to do. "I'll just come back later, nice chat, Rosier."

I heard her mimic me as I left, the stupid brat she was.

But how could I call her a stupid brat when I was just as bad as she was?