Anshi walked resolutely to a pitcher and poured water into the basin, then splashed his face. As he dried himself, he walked over and watched as High Minister Han strode back and forth in his room. His head lifted and Anshi saw him walk away. Soon he watched the man change swiftly into a fresh dark blue robe and place his hat on his head as he returned to the window, looking down to see if Anshi was already there. At that point, Anshi walked to his door and headed to the courtyard...and waited.

He felt more secure, arriving first, staking the high ground, so to speak. He adjusted the folds of his outer coat, the dark green one heavily embroidered in gold thread and tiny gems, his status proclaimed by the fine workmanship. He heard the High Minister approach. He appeared unchanged from earlier, if anything, his face was more composed, and cold.

"You wish to see me, Chieftain Anshi? I see this is a personal meeting, is it not? If it was about the agreements between our two leaders, you would have wanted witnesses."

Anshi turned towards him. "Yes. I felt it was time we talked. I have walked the area and made certain that we are the only ones here. What I need to discuss is personal and private."

Han nodded.

"You don't seem surprised,"

"No. I am not. I have been waiting for this since you came. I am sure there are things to be said. Asked."

"There are. But I need a promise from you. I believe you to be a man of your word."

"Go on."

"You must only agree to this conversation if you respond with total honesty. I loathe diplomatic Fei Hua, especially the Qian kind. Smooth, filled with veiled allusions and innuendo. This has nothing to do with political alliances or any treaties between our two lands. This is about my past."

The man did not hesitate a moment." Agreed. I will speak honestly. I owe you that."

Anshi was surprised but sensed no prevarication.

"Did you know of the plans the Old King and the Crown Prince devised to exterminate my tribe? Please remember, I can sniff our deception in anything, and I will walk away immediately."

Han smiled thinly. "I never go back on my word, Chieftain. You should know that from before. The answer is No. I had no idea. They planned it between themselves and the assassins. Why would they tell a eunuch slave anything ahead of time? They had begun training me to speak both Kazakh and Mongolian, telling me they were grooming me for future diplomatic work. After you were well on your way to Qian, I was told about why they needed me to speak your languages."

"Did you know ahead of time that he would send more assassins once he found out I was still alive and had retained my voice?"

"No. Once again, anything having to do with you, anything, after he sold you off, was something unspoken around me. He did not trust me on that subject."

"Why? He entrusted you with his household. Why not me?"

The older man stiffened and did not answer.

"High Minister, are you going to answer?"

He remained silent.

"All right. Let's try something else. Why did you fail to show me one bit of compassion at that time? I could have used it. It was not an easy transition on any level for me."

"I will answer that with a question of my own. How long would we both have lived, if I had shown the least of the kindness you craved? How would either of us have survived if I failed to train you with no hesitation, anyway I could? I had to be harsh. I had to make you learn immediate obedience, and quell that amazing fire and independence. If not, I was told it would be the edge of the sword for us. You knew them both. Do you doubt we would have been spared? Do you wish I had softened and brought that finality to you? I swallowed my self-loathing and became harsh and cruel to save us both."

For the first time, Anshi saw the High Minister's façade begin to crack as he clasped his hands behind his back to stop them from shaking. "I promised that I would answer truthfully, not that I would answer every question. I would like to return to my quarters now, immediately."

Anshi approached and stood squarely in front of Han. "I am not through High Minister. And the treaty, although signed, has not been sealed. I have more questions. I wish you to tell me why I was punished by you. I was five. I was bereft. Why did you show such coldness to me?"

The man grew pale and he drew a deep breath. "I was 12 at the time. I did not want either of us to die...so I ... punished you as I felt I needed to, taking the hatred you rightfully felt for me, as my punishment." It began to tumble forth, a crack in a dyke.

"I used the tools used on me when I entered service. They were quick ways to train and break children without permanent physical harm. The ruler, isolation, withholding meals. public lecturing and humiliation. I struck you as needed. All ugly. All hurtful. All horrible. Destructive to all involved."

It tumble, roiling forth, unstoppable and gaining momentum.

"I had to endure the loathing as your eyes pierced me each time. The way you stiffened and shuddered as I drew near. The way you attached yourself to the Crown Prince even though I eventually found out what he had done and forced myself  to follow the order the orders he had given me to train you speedily or face death. But I did not blame you. He became a port for you as the storm of your life threatened to sweep you away.

Being a Eunuch, you would think that I could endure that revulsion from a child I was trying to save, as well as myself, but it was not ...easy."

Anshi pressed forward, not relenting. He could smell blood now. The man before him was bending like a branch before the wind. What would it take to snap him in two, he wondered? He thought it would take more to do this but evidently, things were pressing down on his opponent heavily.

"I am remembering a lot since I arrived, bits and pieces at first, then other memories, more detailed. Why did you begin bringing the Go board in as the Crown Prince's migraines grew worse? Why did you win each time, bringing a beating on yourself? And why did you not interfere that last time, when I finally defied him, and he whipped me, then sent me to be sold?"

Han turned and started to leave. "Why did you not come that night, Han? Why did you betray me that last evening?"

The man turned and Anshi was startled to see tears in his steel grey eyes. He struggled to force out the words, face wounded and suddenly unable to control his countenance. He whispered harshly. Then the crack widened fully and the flood began.

"Because they had already taken me. He had seen through me by then. He had me tied to a pole and gagged, in the middle of a window. I saw every strike your torturers made, I heard every scream you uttered and after you were removed, unconscious and battered, they brought the same whip in and used it on me. That same whip that he later mounted on a wall in my room and forced me to see, every day as I healed. That whip you saw in my yurt. Our blood mingled and dried together, left in full view at all times."

He turned away. "There. Have you heard enough? It will never be washed away, whatever I do to try and make it up to you. I will never be able to pay my debt. I am not sorry for much. I have worked hard to get to this position, to finally sleep soundly at night. Except for the nights you enter my dreams. But I am sorry I had to add to your misery back then. And more than that, I am sorry I made you hate me. I am also sorry I am too weak and cannot keep this up right now. I am afraid, I must deny you anymore. I...need to leave.

Perhaps tomorrow. Perhaps tomorrow.

Forgive my lack of integrity. I am, once again, failing you...because I can answer no more tonight."

Anshi watched him walk away, and he suddenly felt empty. The proud back of the High minister was bent and he walked slowly as if unsure of his footing. Anshi moved to get a better view of Han's window. He watched the rooms across the courtyard and he saw Han's silhouette in the faint light of a single candle. He was pacing incessantly, then he stopped and threw both arms around his body and bent forward at the waist. It looked like he was in pain, then he collapsed from view. Anshi bolted, running quickly.