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4.

Linden.

I didn't expect to find someone who makes the pain better, who makes me feel like I'm worth being friends with or just liking me.

It's hard trying to be yourself when people don't see that but a version of their own making, I was the chubby gay nerd that's all people knew, and because of that they immediately judged me.

I wasn't like that, I was a person who liked some of the things they do, I was a person who had dreams and goals that I wanted to achieve one day.

But still, they chose to see a version of their own and at times it made me angry.

Meeting Emric and spending the day with him made me feel better, knowing he was different and didn't have the opinion of others before he talked to me.

I was happy that he got to meet me and know me before anyone else told him differently, I was also concerned about the fact that soon enough he would be one of the socially high kids at school and I would be back to being the loner.

It made me feel a slight pang knowing I couldn't stop the inevitable, my friends were turning out to be fake and my life was basically crumbling.

I was holding on by a thread and I don't know how long till I spiraled and hit the depressive state again, I didn't want that but nothing I could do to avoid it.

Life at home was pretty much the same, my brother was gone and my mom was a workaholic on most days. I just wondered what it would've been like if dad was here but that's a pipe dream.

He's gone and I accepted that thinking otherwise would only hurt me and I knew I couldn't do that to myself,  I had to stay strong and work on getting better after the betrayal I had faced.

I lock up the house and place the keys in my bag. I preferred walking to school except when I was sick, nobody wants to have a runny nose walking to school in the middle of winter.

Luckily it was none of those. I walk past students who go to St Maine Academy, I have no friends so I was basically walking alone till I got to school.

I don't mind though since it really didn't feel different after all my friends were never truly my friends, to begin with, now that I dwell on it.

We were friends in name and not really in anything else, God how was I so stupid not to realize that for three years, I was basically the DUFF, and I was so oblivious to it.

I walk through the main doors and enter, the halls were pretty much the same, crowded with students going on about the latest trend or some new 'i' thing that popped up.

Such are our teenage years, the trivial things entertain us so badly we forget the world around us and how wonderful it is, and frankly, I don't blame them or judge them for it, I'd be lost in a book in my backyard sitting among flowers, sipping lemonade.

I walk to my locker, I am really glad its position was changed what made me frown was the person standing near it, Charlotte and I weren't friends anymore so what exactly did she want.

I knew what she did and I had made it a point to show her that I knew, therefore we shouldn't be anything to each other, since first year our friendship was a lie.

So I pushed up my glasses up the bridge of my nose and walked toward my locker intent on ignoring her but she was persistent.

"Hey Linden, can we talk."

"I'm sorry but your boyfriend told me to stay away from you and frankly we aren't friends anymore as of two or three days ago." I spoke with a smile, didn't want her to know she got to me but at the same time I didn't care honestly, I was moving on.

"Just, never mind that, who was the guy you were with yesterday, Amie wants to know." Yet again something they want to take from me.

I hadn't really defined our relationship or rather friendship with Emric, if even I could call him that. "He's a friend, and I don't know much else."

"What's up troll." That would be Amie. "Not you, but I guess you know that already, have to get to class." I closed my locker hoping they would go away.

Before I could go any further, "Oops." A jock one of Matt's friends slammed my books and they fell. I didn't need to fight back or say anything it will only make things worse.

"Hey." I saw the jock fall to the ground with a bloody nose. "If I see you or your cronies do that to him, I will make it worse." Well, that was unexpected.

Emric walks to me and helps me pick up my books. "You didn't need to do that, I'm used to it, plus it only makes it worse." He chuckles with a smile. Oh God, he's just too perfect.

"Well, my dear Linden." He fixes my glasses. "I had to, if you won't fight back because they do that and you let it go, I will fight back for you, plus he needed to be knocked down a peg." We walk toward Train and another guy they were with.

"Hi, you must be the new kids, Linden's friends right, I'm Amie and this Charlotte, we're also friends with Linden." No, they weren't, these two-faced girls only wanted to get attention from the new already popular kids.

"No we're not." I spoke up softly making Train laugh. "Shut up fattie the better people are talking." Train stopped laughing and looked at Amie.

"I'm sorry for whoever lied to you, Linden is a much better person than your two-timing attitude and I doubt my brother would or I ever be into you." That seemed to catch me off guard.

Why wouldn't they like girls, or I was the one missing it, yes I did have a crush on Emric but I already labeled him a friend because I didn't know if he was even gay.

Now that the question popped up in my head I have to figure it out. "Linden said you're not his friends therefore why are you still here." Emric's voice held no room for arguments it was commanding and deeply dominant, you couldn't argue with that and it made me shiver.

The two girls scurry away and I'm left with Emric his brother and their friend. "I'm sorry about that, I didn't expect them to do that." He only brushed it off.

"Never mind about that, let's get to class." I nod and we make our way to class. Somehow I was glad he stood up for me and that I was the one chosen over my ex-friends.

I was starting to realize that even though I didn't really know Emric, he felt safe and secure when he punched that guy I didn't feel intimidated or scared, I was safe and it felt good.

Several of my classes were with Emric, I was excluded from math because well I'm a nerd and that was one class my mom let me finish in third year.

Lunch break came and I headed to the cafeteria with Train, it was sort of weird having him close and it felt as if he was taking care of me. I wondered if his brother had told him to watch me.
.
That would make me feel like a child.

"Hey fatso already found another cock to suck." I wonder if they didn't know about their friend being beaten. "You're a load of grease." Another milkshake was spilled on my shirt, Train yet again beat them up, I'm sure about that.

But I was already halfway to the bathroom, my glasses moist with tears, I just wanted to be normal, I wanted to be like any other normal person, and for the first time I hated my body.

I ran into the bathroom wiped away the milkshake. "Linden." I wonder how he found me. Emric entered the bathroom and locked it, he didn't say anything, he just held me and I cried.

For the first time, I let it all out.

+++

LMJ

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