Anika Pov

" Anika " he said trying to break the hug but my hold become more tight. I felt his hand on mine but unlike  other time today his hands were cold.  We stand their in sheer silence. I don't know  what to say or do only thing in my mind to be with him. I am feeling bad after listening what bade papa had said I can't imagine what Shivaay is feeling.

How much he is hiding within himself. Whatever I listened what Om and Manav said Shivaay didn't deserve this. He scarified his childhood, his happiness for family only without complaining once .

This time he break the hug successfully and turned.  And his eyes met with mine his always set hairs were messy the spark in his eyes were missing instead his eyes were red. He is looking so tried and worn out.

"Anika what are doing here what happened?? You came here alone at this time are you out of mind it's not safe you know it then also. Tell me what happened did someone say something. What happened Anika "  he shouted make me flinch. And start coughing. God I never saw him angry. I kept my palm on his mouth to stop him. Which soil he is made of always worry for others forgetting himself. He is pretending like nothing has happened.

" Shh ...Shh .....Shut up not a word more. " I said glaring him but he is utterly shocked. He try to say something but my one look  make him Shut up.

" It's not always about me or others Shivaay. " I can feel his breath on my fingers. I take my hand back realising we are standing very close. I step back.

" It not always about me or others Shivaay. What about yourself. You are out of mind you drive  when you yourself are not in right state of mind you came here.I was so worried for you I am getting so many negative thoughts what if something happened to you. Tell me I am asking you  Shivaay. " I asked him in a loud voice what he thinks of himself. And he is completely taken aback I never talked to him like this I don't wanna talk to him like that but it is necessary to put some mind in his stupid brain.

Shivaay start coughing again this time badly. He kept rubbing his chest near the heart. His face was all red due to coughing.  I was so scared him like this. Anika it's not time to panick or scared.

" Shivaay  what happened shivaay " I rubbed his back to make him calm down but no use.

" My...med.... medicines... " He tried to say.

" Medicines which medicine... "

" My.. coat... pocket.... car "

" Wait a minute I getting "  I make him seat on nearby bench. I hurriedly run towards the car. Find his coat at back seat. Taking the water bottle that also kept at back seat. I came back.

I take the small box from his coat which having three- four tablets.

" Shivaay which one "

I give him the box. He take the white one I handed him the bottle. After he take medicine he seat their keeping his head back closing eyes taking deep breath. I kept rubbing his palm.
After sometime he become normal but coughing a little.

" You are fine " I asked him to which he nodded his head.

" I have allergy from dust and forgot to take medicine." before I asked he himself told.Making me more angry.

" Why Shivaay  why are you like this.
You are not supposed to face everything on your own. You have to share with me and face it together. If you are not what's the whole point of us  getting married. You are forgetting about the investment. It's not wrong to share your problems and thoughts with others. You don't have to be strong every time. It's ohkk to be vulnerable. The way you can read my eyes I can also Shivaay. You can't lie to me. "

He didn't say anything he just move  towards the shore and stand their facing the water. I sighed and come beside  him. He is completely lost in his thoughts. I interlaced my fingers with his.

" I am sorry to talk like this I didn't meant to hurt you " I genuinely feeling guilty.

" I failed " shivaay said looking aimlessly in a low voice after breaking the silence.

" I failed as a son. I failed to keep our family happy and together. I failed to keep the promise that I had given to Dadi. I failed as a grandson.

I thought everyone in family is happy
but I was wrong I was so wrong. Hack I didn't knew that bade papa lives in London because of me . Because of me he is away from his family from his own son and grandson. I unintentionally hurt him. I can't imagine what is he must be feeling being away from his own country  home  and family .And badi maa she has to be with him leaving everything behind her. At this age parents want their children's the most and bade papa is completely right unintentionally because of me they both are having misunderstanding.

At that time both om and pri was small. I just don't able to see them getting sad whenever mom and bade papa fight over the business.  I had seen them fighting dadi used to be their for me. But at that time dada jii left us and fights become common . Nobody used to listen dadi how much she tried. I don't want Om and priyanka to get effected from that. That's why I used to be with them  tried whatever I can do for them to keep them happy. To keep them away from all this.  They were small at that time.

I never do anything with any wrong intension. I had seen om passion  towards architecture that's  why I encouraged him and priyanka to pursue their dreams. Nothing would be great than completing your dreams. I always want them happy.

From starting things are not good between them as bade papa wants Om to join the business. But he is never intrested he is very sensitive person. He used to be in depression . I had seen him struggling.  He used to cry in front of me. So keeping him away from negative or others things I encouraged him to follow his passion his dream.

Then gauri came in his life. And I had seen the improvement in Om. He started to being happy and enjoying life. The love he has for gauri.  Gauri was hope and light in his life.

When I met her first I still remember
Her love for Om was reflecting in her eyes. And I don't  want Om to get back to depression. So I fought with family for their marriage. I don't when making things rights I hurted bade papa and badi maa. 

Dadi asked me only one thing to keep the family happy and together. But that also I am not able to fulfill what even I can do. "

"Shivaay aap kya bol rahe " I looked at him horrified. God why this guy is like this. How easily he hide Everything about himself but today I knew shivaay I know about you.

" No shivaay you are not doubting yourself on anything like that. " I stand in front of him. My heart thunders as our eyes met.

" I have seen you being the most responsible when it's come to family and health, except yourself. Yeah  the great wall of Shivaay Singh Oberoi as what everyone say.
I hardly seen anybody who care about his/ her family like you do. I am damn sure you ever say no anything to your family. Am I right. You even agree to meet me because everyone in family asked you. You prefer to spend time with family rather wasting in other things don't you. I have no idea from where you are blaming yourself of being irresponsible and not keeping your promise. "

"Even Dadi don't want you to see like this if she was here. She didn't like it when she got to know that because of her promise you are blaming yourself."

" It's not about the promise Anika "

" That's what I am saying Shivaay it's not about the promise. You did all this with good intentions. You did this because you love them. But not everytime  what we do is going to work. Everyone perspective are different. Their feelings , thinking. Then why you are blaming yourself when you are not wrong  anywhere.
It's just a misunderstanding nothing else. We will talk to bade papa. I am sure he will understand. "

" No " he immediately said.

" But why Shivaay ??"

" I don't want any issues or something that effect relation between bade papa and Om. I will talk to Om and convinced him to go London with bade papa. "

" And do you think he will agree. He is your brother only Shivaay if you are stubborn then he is also. And I am sure he is not going to agree .  "

" I will make him agree . I just want them happy."

" What about you Shivaay. Will you be able live without Om, Gauri and most importantly Ishaan. " I had seen their love and affection for Shivaay and vice versa.

" I will nothing is important if bade papa and Om relation improve by this. " And I am lost of words after hearing him.  Now-a-days people are killing eachother for money property or what not in family. And here he is ready to leave everything just for his family.

"Think about your descision again Shivaay. After whatever you decide but remember I am their with you"

In a split second Shivaay is hugging me tightly. We hugged eachother earlier but this is something different.
The way he is holding me. Even I didn't realise that I am having tears in my eyes.  I thought to make his mood good.

" Did I told you that you make the world best pasta. " I said wiping my tears and grinning.

" Huhh "

" I Said I loved that pasta. I want to eat that again  before going back  to Delhi. I want you to make it for me. "

" Aren't you saying early. Also I have something to tell. " he said.

" What "

" Did I told you were looking gorgeous in saree. "

" Aren't you are saying early Mr. Oberoi. And what do you mean by saree I look good in everything. " I said breaking the hug .I was smiling seeing his frown our eyes meet again.

" But I would like to see you in saree. "

" Sorry to burst your bubble Saree are like  error in coding which is very difficult to handle."

" This is first time I getting this weird explaination "

" I am software developer what else do you except for me. "

" Yeah Ms. Engineer my mistake. "

" How do you got to know that I am here and don't tell me you drive the car "

" You only told that seeing water you feel calmness and peace. So I guess this place this is the nearest from the farmhouse. Moreover,  Manav dropped me here" I shrugged my shoulder.

" Did he also know "

" No I just asked him that you want him to drop me here as you planned something for me " I lied because he don't like to share his problems. I don't know how he will react after knowing that Manav also know. I will talk to Manav also.

"  Say you are lying . Did you get this excuse only "

" Why I will lie. Moreover that time I didn't get anything so whatever come in mind I Said. "

" God he is not going to leave me for entire life. "

As Shivaay moved back cold air hit me making me Shiver. And realisation dawn upon me I didn't have any jacket or shawl with me. Even my phone. In hurry I forgot.

I felt two hands on  my shoulder.

" You were having fever just day before the yesterday. And you are not wearing any jacket. And freezing here " shivaay Said keeping his coat around me.

" I forgot in hurry . And what about you " I said giving back his coat.

" I am habitual of this whether." Said giving back coat to me.

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Here comes the next update. I hope you like this. Eagerly waiting for your responses. And one thing next week I having my exams. So next update Will come Little bit late. Not getting time to write so sorry from my side.  Waiting for responses.

Happy Holi everyone. I wish this colour brings happiness in your life.
Also don't waste water.

Stay safe and healthy

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