- it's one in the morning and I just drank a glass of some kind of alcohol on accident (don't ask) and I can't sleep even though I'm tired so here's an update (I update so much for you guys, please love me) xx ♡ -

Vanessa's point of view

"Hey," someone said and I turned around. "What the hell is that?" Calum asked, eyes wide at the rolled blunt between my fingers.

"You'd think Calum Hood would know what a lit blunt looks like." I said and placed it between my lips, breathing it in and then holding the smoke before blowing it out.

"What the hell are you doing with it?" He asked as he tried to take it from me. I laughed and shook my head. "Give it to me."

"No." I said, feeling relaxed and a bit light headed. "Leave me alone. Ignore me like you did before."

"What do you mean by that?" He asked me as he sat beside me. "I never ignored-"

"You did and I wanted to cry because I thought I did something wrong. God I always do something wrong." I said and Calum just watched as I placed the blunt against my lips again.

"I needed to sort stuff out."

"Like how you hate me and think we should break up?" I said and closed my eyes, humming softly as the wind blew.

"Not at all." He said and pulled me close. "Maybe you shouldn't be-"

"Go away. You've done enough." I said and looked at him. He winced and reached for the hand that held the blunt.

"Listen to me Vanessa, weed isn't good for you okay? Give me the blunt and let's go inside." He said and I shook my head.

"No, I don't want to go on that house. I want to stay out here with my only friend, Mr. Moon." I said and he sighed. "He listens to me and doesn't judge me... he leaves but he listens when I need someone."

"You're talking nonsense-"

"Am I? Am I really?" I asked and he said that I was. I breathed in the smoke after I placed it between my lips and he grabbed it from my wrist after. "You ass, give it back. Roll your own."

"Don't talk to me with that tone." He said, taking a hit himself. I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around my knees.

He pulled me on my lap and I looked at him. "I thought you don't smoke?" He asked and I shrugged, feeling dizzy and relaxed, kind of hungry too.

"Luke left the stuff out, I thought why not." I said as I closed my eyes, leaning into his warm embrace. "Calum, do you think we'll work out in the end?"

"If we try." He said and I nodded. "Do you want this to work out?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah but you're like.... and I'm like... and we can't... urgh." I said and he rubbed my back, smoking down the rest of the blunt.

"Mm." He said and kissed my neck. This time it wasn't that weird and I didn't mind it too much. "You still have that hickey I left." He said and I could feel him smirk against my skin.

"God we're both going to rot hell Cal." I said as he laced our fingers together. "We're on the high way to hell."

"VIP seats." He added, his teeth scratching my skin a bit. "I don't think you've ever been high before, have you love? Is that why you're so sad?" He asked and I shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Shh, let me help you." He said and I nodded, blissed out and kind of aware of what's going on, but a large part of my kind was gone.

All I could feel was his lips on my neck and collarbones and jaw and it was much more thrilling now than it was before.

"How do I do that?" I asked Calum and he laughed, his breath fanning my skin.

"Slow down here babygirl." He said and kissed my nose. "Not my turn yet." He said and I nodded.

-

"Vanessa? Vanessa wake up." Someone said and I sat up, looking around. I looked at Arzaylea and she looked at me. "Is three in the afternoon, are you okay?"

"I didn't go to sleep until late last night." I said and he nodded. "Like... seven I think? Sunrise. It was bright out when I went to sleep." I said and she nodded.

"Well, there's food in the microwave for you okay?" I nodded and she left the room, closing the door.

"I could have swore Calum fell asleep beside me." I said and then looked in the mirror. I rubbed my eye and noticed my skin was clear besides for the one hickey Luke caught the other day.

I vaguely remember there being more when I went to sleep?

Maybe I'm tripping balls. Maybe I'm still high. My eyes aren't red though, and my brain is working just fine.

What the hell?

"Hey." Calum said and smiled. "I grabbed your cover up and yeah." I said and I wiped my neck, seeing it come off slightly. "Don't do that!"

"How many are there?" I panicked he said only like five. "Five?" I said loudly and he told me to quiet down. "You gave me five?"

"I guess." He said and shrugged. "I don't remember much."

"Same, but considering I'm in a big shirt without a bra, that's telling me something frightening." I said and sniffed the shirt. "Doesn't smell like weed."

"I washed clothes after you knocked out. I had to make sure we didn't get caught." He said quietly as he walked in. He handed me a water bottle and I thanked him, taking large gulps from it.

"That is Luke's shirt anyways, so no one's suspicious." He said and I nodded. "Do you remember any of last night?"

"I have hickies, a sore back, and a sore throat." I said and he shrugged. "I'm scared. First time I did anything and I was high off my ass." I said and he laughed.

"Don't worry," he said and I looked at him. "The real thing is, whatever we did was most likely illegal and no one can know." He said and I nodded.

"Did I do that?" I asked, touching the purple mark on his throat. He nodded and I smiled, feeling a bit of pride because I didn't even know that I knew how to do that.

Wow, we really are going to hell.

"I had to leave early and come by earlier so he didn't think about it." He told me and I nodded.

"Could have said Ashton choked you for fucking with his drums. Those are his fingers prints because he got some huge hands and fingers." I told him.

"Language."

"Sorry." I said and rolled my eyes. "Anyways, have they argued yet? It usually happens around three." I told him and he nodded.

"A little, it was over the weed thing. You can't just leave it lying around! You do it all the time! Blah blah blah." He said, mimicking them. I laughed and shook my head as I blended in the cover up more to hide what I uncovered.

"Go eat breakfast, or like, lunch, whatever you want to call it." He told me and I nodded as I scratched the back of my head. "Or I can warm it up and you can eat in here?"

"Please?" I asked and he nodded. He gave me a quick kiss and I chuckled as he left.

-

"What's your problem?" I asked Luke since he was just ignoring me. "Did I do something wrong?" I asked and still, no answer.

"Luke-"

"Jesus Christ you're just like Arzaylea, shut up!" He said and looked at me. "Sometimes I just want to chill and not have anyone talk to me!"

"Well you don't have to blow your top off when you tell me." I muttered and stood up. He, once again, found a way to make me feel guilty for something that's remotely my fault.

You can't blame me if I didn't know, right?

"It seems everytime I need to get something through your thick skull, I have to yell." He said and I was taken back.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." He said and then looked at his phone. "Leave me alone Vanessa."

"Just because you're upset, doesn't mean you can take it out on me. That's not fair." I said, understanding how Ashton felt when he told me this. "I didn't know and you could have calmly told me to go."

"Fuck off." He said and smiled before going back to his phone. "Seriously, you're so annoying." He said and I was really hurt for some reason.

Something about your idol saying negative things about you makes you feel extremely hurt.

I was gonna reply, but I shook my head. I walked away from him as Arzaylea walked down since she had to go to work. "Hey Luke, I'm leaving now."

"Whatever."

"Make sure t-"

"Okay okay okay! I know. You don't have to tell me everytime! Make sure I don't mess up the place. Make sure Vanessa is okay. I know." He said and I really just wanted to give him a nice, hard, and long slap.

"Who pissed in your cereal this morning?" Arz asked and I could just see her rolling her eyes at him. "Anyways, I'm going to be late if we argue. Bye."

"Bye." He said and I furrowed my eyebrows. Where's the 'I love you' or the 'drive safe' or 'have a nice day at work' like they used to tell one another?

I shrugged and then decided to just go up to my room. I closed my bedroom door and then turned my phone on, deciding to just check social media.

I went on Instagram, seeing lots of notifications. I looked through them and realized it was mostly comments on the last picture I posted. It was me, Bryana, Arzaylea, and Miranda.

They decided the only one who could wear a bikini was Bryana because she was apparently the only one who had the body for it. I rolled my eyes and then left Instagram because I don't need that negativity right now.

I went on to Twitter and then went through my timeline. I looked at it a d nearly threw my phone at pictures I saw from update accounts and 'groupie' accounts.

I tapped the hashtag 'Calessa' and looked through all the tweets. Some said it was cute, but a majority were shaming us since I was fifteen and he was twenty.

Why were they all posting pictures of me and Calum holding hands and kissing? How did they even get that picture of us kissing? It was on Miranda's phone, and she wouldn't post them, would she?

Sure enough, the screenshots of the photo of me and Calum kissing had Miranda's account on it.

My heart stopped and with shakey hands, I went to her account. There was the tweet, a pinned tweet too, and the photo tagged both of us in it.

I turned my phone off and threw it into my mattress as tears filled my eyes. I ran a hand through my hair and then shook my head.

How could she?

I thought she was my best friend. She said she wouldn't post it, she promised. Me and Calum both told her how much that picture could screw us up and yet it's right there on her account, our accounts tagged in it, free for everyone to see.

I sniffled and couldn't help but let out a small sob because I was just so hurt right now. Now it's out and me and Calum are going to get so much shit, not just from their fans, paparazzi, and magazines, but from Luke, his close friends, their families.

I should have never trusted her.