I woke from a rather long nap on that couch to find Rhys working on paperwork in a chair nearby. I had a warm blanket thrown over me that smelled of citrus and the sea. The lighting in the room was warm, a stark contrast to the cool blacks and blues that would make up a painting of him alone. The palette flashed before my eyes for a moment before he looked up at me, banishing the thoughts of paint.

"Sleep well?" he asked warmly. I nodded, giving him a small smile. "Are you up to going out?"

"Out where?" I rasped, sleep still fogging my voice.

"My friends wish to have dinner with you, there's a restaurant here in Velaris that we frequent. They will likely ask you to come dancing and drinking later in the night, but after the day you just had no one will fault you if you decline."
"I'd like to talk to them more and meet them," I decided after a moment. His smile almost split his face.

"Nuala and Cerridwen are upstairs to help you freshen up before dinner."

I wasn't sure what to wear. After a few moments of indecisiveness, I decided on a soft, knee length dress in a navy blue shade that I liked. I wore black leggings and soft navy shoes over them. Nuala braided my hair into a crown and curled the ends while Cerridwen found me a long silver necklace with a moon and some stars hanging from it. A long black jacket would keep the chill off.

Rhys was waiting by the door when I came back downstairs.

"You look lovely," he said, offering me his arm. I took it with a smile.

Outside of the gates were Rhys's friends. Even Amren was there. She offered me a wicked smile.

"Feyre!" Mor's exuberance still surprised me, but was beginning to enjoy it. I let her hug me, and hugged her back. Cassian surprised me with a side hug of a sort, though kept it short when Rhys growled. I shot him a look.

Don't go getting all 'protective' on me now. I told him, allowing him to catch the double meaning. Don't be the same. Don't put me in a cage.

It's a side effect of the mate bond. I may be a bit... aggressive when other males are nearby for a while. This problem will increase when- if- you decide to accept the bond and things... proceed normally. It fades. And I will never cage you, darling. Never fear. You are always free to make your own choices. I will do my best to keep it to myself but please understand it?..

I nodded slightly, meeting his eyes. Apology noted and accepted.

In the meantime, I tried to focus on Mor instead of how relaxed and carefree Rhys looked for once. Staring seemed rude, but I couldn't help myself.

Something else struck me: the people. They spoke to Rhys, calling him by name. He returned the favor. His people weren't frightened of him. Perhaps some of the very few people in the world who weren't. Seeing it made me smile slightly. These little pieces helped me build a clearer picture of the core of my mate.

My instincts were telling me that the male I saw here in Velaris was the truest one. That the one I saw drunk was very like him. The creature from under the mountain was a mask. A wall. A means to an end. And that end was protecting those people he cared for here in this city.

A male very like me.

Very like the girl who learned to kill to save her family. The girl who killed people to save her loved ones. The girl who'd literally died to save the male she's loved and his people from destruction.

Letting go of the vision of Rhys that I had been told was the real one was surprisingly difficult. I didn't want to believe he was good, that he was everything he said he was.

Why? Why didn't I want to believe my mate was good?

The answer hit me with a shock that almost made me stop in the middle of the sidewalk.

I had wanted there to be a mistake.

Again, why?

This time I did stop, but the shock of understanding made me able to ignore the staring.

Because after everything I'd been through, everything I'd done for Tamlin, I couldn't love him anymore. Who he and I had become didn't fit. But I'd destroyed myself for him and for that love. I had done absolutely everything. If that love that I had built this new self on was gone, who or what was I? What was the point of all of it? All that pain, all that hatred, all that loss, all for nothing.

I thought of those who had died. I thought of Andras, for the first time in months. The first faerie I killed in anger and hatred to start this awful cycle. I thought of those two fae I had killed to end it. Those I had killed for, dare I say, love. Clare Beddor, killed by my hand just as surely as if I'd stabbed her like I did the others. Those summer court fae. The winter court fae. Those children that were killed. I thought of my own death, that snap of my neck.

Distantly, I heard Rhys telling the others to go on, we'd be there soon. He walked over toward me slowly, stopping far enough away that he wasn't crowding me. The depth of the sadness on his face shocked me.

"Feyre?" he said quietly. That was when I noticed the tears falling down my face. It occurred to me that he had probably seen and felt every bit of that. I felt a small spasm of pain in my chest at the thought that he'd felt those awful realizations.

Again, I thought about my own death. I saw him flinch as I flickered through the memories. I let him see them this time, let him see what I saw. That I saw from his eyes.

It was the mate bond, he thought at me when I remembered tugging on the bond. I saw him place that last drop of power on me. I remembered swimming through the bond, knowing that home was on the other end.

That.

That was the point.

Death doesn't lie, what would be the point? It could have taken me then, but it promised me more. It promised me home.

Spring was no longer home. That is not what happens in a home. That hovel with my sister who hated me and the father I hated was more of a home than that manor had become.

Could this be home? Could this beautiful land of ice and snow and stars and night become home to me?

I looked into Rhys's star flecked eyes, open and full of nothing but hope for the first time since I'd met him.

Yes.

Yes, this place, these people, this male, could be home.

And for the first time, I was willing to let them try.

Rhys's shining eyes told me that I didn't need to say a word, so I simply walked over to him and placed my tattooed hand on his face.

"Let's go have dinner, shall we?" I simply nodded, then laced my fingers in his.

(1240 words.)