"I mean, how is it that I am only now learning of your origins in my court?" Selaene's laughter echoes in the emptiness that has now, century after century, become comforting. "My grandfather was part of the Night Court, but then he fell madly in love with my grandmother and decided to go with her to the Dawn Court. But you know the story."

After so many years together, Selaene and Vanessa can say that they have become more than friends, they have become sisters. The friend had seen the tiger a few times and had been amazed by her elegant and feline form: she had a white coat with black stripes that shone like the moon under the soft light of the passers-by, as they had called them. She had a sweet little face, and one could almost imagine her human form. From time to time, a passerby would come close enough to walk past her, but never close enough to catch her in time, and in recent years, the number of passersby had dwindled, making her doubt her plan.

"You know, Vane, I'm grateful you're here with me, I would have gone crazy without you."

"I was on the verge of madness when I found you. Maybe Mother wanted to give us a sister. You don't have one, do you?"

"No, only a brother, as you already know."

Another pause between the two as they continue to watch the darkness. A sad, bitter smile makes its way through the Fae's voice.

"We deserved a history like your grandparents'."

"But we got it. You have Azriel and I have Thomas."

"Vane..." Selaene did not have the heart to admit to herself that her beautiful mate, after her family thought her dead and after all these centuries, had probably forgotten her and moved on with his life. Not to mention telling Vanessa, who had so much faith in fate to envy.

"No, don't say that, Elle." She knew the tiger was haunted by such thoughts as well, and coming to terms with reality hurt too much. The conversation faded into a heavy silence, like at the beginning of their journey.

If Azriel had moved on, she would not have blamed him in any way, in fact, as much as it hurt, she would have let him go for his sake. Sometimes loving means knowing how to let go.

"Please, Selaene," it is rare for the friend to use her full name, and when she does, she is aware that she is beginning a serious and poignant speech, "remember. If you are lost in the darkness, seek the light."

"Or light it up." She cannot see her friend, but she knows she is smiling and nodding at the same time, as she is wont to do when she is pleased with something Selaene does.

This little play on words, which has become their phrase, has been with them for nearly four centuries, and every time they repeat it, that little spark of hope in their chests shines a little brighter.

A snort comes from the Fae's mouth. "What's wrong, Elle?"

"Nothing, it's just boring." Vanessa chuckles, "Come on, tell me about your family again, last time I think you missed a few adjectives about your brother's eyes."

The two women laugh, and Selaene is grateful that Vanessa enjoys listening to her so much.

"Rhysand's eyes tend to be more blue than mine. Mine are all purple. When he looks at the stars, he dreams. You know, Vane, I think he would be a big believer in if you get lost in the darkness, seek the light" Her friend's laughter echoes in the now familiar darkness, warming the atmosphere.

"Let me guess, he is also the biggest dreamer you know?"

"Of course. But only after me."

"After us. There is no one who dreams more than us."

☆☆☆☆☆☆

Azriel sighs, the last breath as a free male of the evening.

Like every weekend, he and his family join in a dinner party at Feyre and Rhysand's house, and after Nyx's birth it is a rare event, which is why he could not say no.

He hasn't spoken to Feyre since what was said in his room, and he hopes she hasn't mentioned it to her mate, or tonight he will have to endure yet another lecture about how in life one must move on, that he also loved Selaene but that they must let her go.

Dinner doesn't go on so badly, it allows him to clear his mind a little and spend some light time, and Feyre doesn't seem to have said anything, doesn't even seem to remember what happened. She does not look at him with pity, and Azriel would like to hug her.

Later that evening the family is divided between those who play cards, those who drink and chat, and Azriel. Actually, he was part of the players, but after winning three out of four rounds, he was kicked out by a slightly tipsy and irritated Cassian. He wanted to retort that he only let Amren win the fourth round because he is slightly intimidated by her, but he opted to keep quiet. Now he stands on the terrace to get some fresh air. He gazes at the stars and the moon, smiling to himself as he remembers nights spent stargazing with his beloved. A sad smile. Azriel always thought Selaene was the reincarnation of the Moon, she shone with her own light, but not blinding like the sun, no, she was beautiful and deep and mysterious like that silver orb in the sky.

"Azriel?" the voice of Feyre distracted him from his thoughts.

"Yes?" Azriel sang victory too soon. He hoped Feyre had forgotten the whole thing, or simply decided to ignore it, but of course not. If it is not Rhysand, or Cassian, now Feyre is added to the list.

"I wanted to talk to you. About a few days ago...," the Fae's sea-colored eyes stare at his face for signs of despondency. Azriel continues to look at the moon. His Selaene.

"I... I haven't talked to Rhysand about it. I know Selaene's history, though, and I know-I mean, I see how your brothers look at you. Or how you're still loyal to her."

At the sound of his mate's name, Azriel grits his teeth. His body stiffens, but he forces himself to breathe. Once, twice, three times, before he looks at Feyre, meeting her eyes full of pity for him. But when he does, he finds none.

She looks at him understandingly, as if to say "I am here, talk to me."

He is surprised.

"Do you want to know my - our story, so then you will look at me as if I were a puppy left alone?"

Feyre smiles sadly, her gaze following that of the Illyrian warrior to the moon. There is a small pause before she responds.

"No, of course not, Az. Clearly I'm saddened, because from the way Rhysand described her, from the way you react just to hearing her name, she sounds like a really special person, and I would have liked to meet her myself. But I won't look at you with pity."

Azriel weighs his words carefully before speaking. Feyre for a moment thinks he might pull back, his posture stiff and his breaths short. But then the male sighs, muscles relaxing almost imperceptibly, and Feyre smiles at him before gently stroking his hand, as if to invite him to speak. As if he is saying "talk to me, I won't judge you," and only then does Azriel relent.

"She was a very special person. She was ... she was my moon."

The female senses the pain he is feeling from the squeaky voice, and knows it must be the first time he has spoken of this to anyone. She has never seen the ShadowSinger so...human, so fragile. And yet, her gaze remains fixed on his face, and her eyes do not make him pull back, but urge him to vent.

"She, we planned to accept the bond the week when she... On evenings like these I would sneak into her house and fly with her to Velaris, we would lie on the rocks and as we watched the stars, we would talk all night. She was...she was everything to me, Feyre. I've never loved anyone the way I loved her, and I don't think I can. Rhysand wants me to move on, to find someone to keep by my side. But I can't even think of another woman when my wound is still so fresh."

When Azriel finishes his speech, he feels a weight lift from his chest. Perhaps this is the first step, he thinks, to moving forward.

He looks at Feyre, searching her blue pools for something he cannot find. And he does not know what he finds there, but he is happy with what he sees. She smiles at him.

"You know, Az. Maybe sometimes loving someone is also knowing how to let go, maybe you've kept this weight on your chest too long, too afraid to show yourself vulnerable to your brothers. I'm glad you trusted me."

A comforting silence falls over them, and Azriel smiles. Feyre tries to speak again, but is interrupted by Cassian.

"Come on, you two! Who wants to play mime?"

And with that, the two return and take part in the games.