Rhaemarys

"Absolutely not." I snap, glaring down at a now 14 year old Feyre. "You are not going into those woods."

"Yes I am, we need the food. You need the help and its nearly winter-"

"It's always winter here!" I cry out in frustration, arms gesturing wildly. "The land is barren."

"That's my point." She hisses, ever stubborn. "We're living off scraps and you're still recovering from whatever illness you had."

Guilt has me drawing up short. The lie Nesta and I had concocted when I was going through withdrawal from those Day Court drugs. They hadn't necessarily been doing anything for me other than numbing my emotions. An anti-depressant it turns out, one made from dragon-poison, not that the healers in Day would know. It was a lesser known plant kept hidden from the common population as a last resort for dragons who went rogue or lost their minds.

"Just let me help. Nesta is caring for the house, you've taught her how to cook and Elain has got everything covered with father." A feeble excuse for the pair of them, Elain and Mr Archeron are content to sit on their arses while we three work. Not that Nesta doesn't survive this hell hole through sarcastic comments and bitter retorts.

I pause, thinking Feyre's request through as she looks up at me with hopeful eyes. I had always intended on teaching my girls how to fight. I never wanted them to be defenceless... but hunting? Unbidden memories rise to the surface, reminders of days spent hunting down my own kin on the orders of those Fae Lords.

"Well?" She prompts.

"No. And that's final." I turn away, storming from the house to go chop some wood. It's either burning off steam being productive or risking my growing power ripping my skin apart by shifting.

Feyre shouldn't be hunting, especially not so close to the wall. Not where those ridiculous Fae rule, nor with the creatures coming out from their hideouts without said fae to keep them in check. She wants to hunt. I don't know why I'm surprised, she has the same fierceness as Nesta and I.

But why did she have to pick hunting? If Rhys hadn't gone radio silent recently I could have talked it through with him. Except I don't want to talk it through with Rhys because I know what he'll say. Which would be that I either get over my fear of this new body and get hunting myself or I start using some connections.

One has repercussions on myself and the other risks dragging my daughters into the world of fae. So I'll have to get a handle on the blood lust and get over my fear then because there's no way in hell I'm risking those girls around a war or that red queen.

Eventually when dusk draws closer and the wood pile bigger I slow to a halt. Feyre won't be happy that I'm taking over, she'll probably follow me out anyways so I might as well teach her to hunt. It wouldn't hurt, getting the girls set up in case something goes wrong and I have to leave.

I try not to think about it but I know it's true. The last thing Rhys and I talked about before he went dark was the Dragon Hunters and Amarantha's newest obsession with my people. She's looking for me. Well, not me but the last dragon. The escapee. No doubt someone ratted me out from Day in hopes of a pay day.

She'll get closer eventually. It's inevitable. Which means running will be inevitable as well. I glance through the window of our cottage before entering. My girls look so peaceful by the fire, so content even in these harsh times. They don't deserve this.

I pause, thinking through what Feyre asked me. She asked to hunt. She shouldn't be asking to hunt, she should be asking for new paints. Temporary, I remind myself. This is just temporary.

Get food on the table first, teach Feyre how to hunt and then reach out to some connections. It's a risk but one I'll have to take.

They need the money for a new home, a new life.

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Feyre took to hunting well. It was tough at first, we had a blowout argument when I returned from chopping wood. She wanted to handle it all herself, be more grown up and provide like the rest of us. It was only when Nesta intervened the next morning that Feyre relented.

I don't know what she said to Feyre but it has that girl listening to me like she never has before. Which is both a relief and an insult considering I've raised her as my own and it takes her older sister for her to finally listen to me. The first two weeks were spent catching enough rabbits, squirrels and roe deer to have hefty sum's worth of pelts.

It was easier from there out. I could have dipped into my own funds for the money but I wanted to teach Nesta and Feyre what to barter for pelts, meat and what they should be paying out for supplies.

Once we had a network of snares set up, food came in regularly. Well, regularly for this dismal village in its winter months. Hopefully spring would provide enough meat to dry out and last a while. Long enough that I can leave and get a few things set up.

Getting in touch with my connections was easier, it was just the implications and consequences that were hard to deal with. If this backfires there's none to blame but myself.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

"We can't keep meeting up like this." Rhys murmurs, tracing a hand down my back as I curl up against his side. "With the 50 years up next Solstice it won't be safe for either of us."

I tense up at the thought, quickly twisting the blankets around my naked body as I peer up at where Rhys is leant against the headboard.

"You have gotten me through almost two decades of this hell." He murmurs, reaching a hand out to cup my cheek as if he hadn't just fucked me and told me to leave him with that rapist bitch. "But you have the girls to think about and I have my court. We can't risk it any longer."

I have no argument for that and he knows it.

"Once a year."

"Rhae-"

"Once every three-"

"Rhae, you're not listening-"

"Fine, once every five years and-"

"Rhaemarys." He snaps, eyes wide with fear and panic. "Please just listen to me. This cannot go on-"
"Who have you told?" My voice goes dark and he freezes. "You would never normally be this panicked yet here you are practically on your knees so what has changed and don't even think about lying to me."

"She suspects." He whispers and I freeze. If he was followed here, to the human-

"I told her I was meeting a spring informant who I have a certain-" His jaw ticks and I fight the urge to grip his hand in comfort. "Agreement with. So she won't come after us tonight."

Of course the idiot did. Because there's never any other explanation or excuse. He just loves to play the villain. I pause, replaying his words as I catch onto the usaid yet to his statement.

She hasn't come after us yet.

"Once a decade." I whisper, closing my eyes as he pulls me forward till our foreheads rest against each other. "Please, Rhys, just once a decade."

"I can't promise that." He whispers and I clench my hands, refusing to open my open eyes and see the truth in his gaze. "Let me set you and the girls up and then-"

I snort, pulling away and finally looking at him. His eyes narrow but I can see the way he fights to put a taunting smile on his face. To make light of his declaration.

"Just..." He pause, grief flickering across his face. "I;m not sure how my own family is doing. If i've managed to keep them safe so will you at least let me ensure you and those girls of yours are alright."

"We're fine, Rhys. You should focus your efforts on yourself." I murmur and it's not a lie. I managed to get us out of that cottage after a year, pulling certain hit jobs and dipping into some of my unsealed funds. It took some time since I didn't want to raise any flags at thousand years old hoards of gold suddenly being reopened and used.

The girls have been set up in a quaint little house. It's cosy and warm, with a small kitchen, outhouse-bathroom, living space and three cramped bedrooms upstairs. But food is still scarce and Feyre has taken to hunting. Turns out no matter what gold I have i can't pay for the land to have a more prosperous yield.

Crops are running thin, meat is scarce and the house is starting to need certain repairs and there's no skilled labourers in the village.

But Rhys doesn't need to know that. We have a roof over our heads and a somewhat steady food supply from my youngest. My stomach turns at the thought.

"I could get you a healer." Rhys whispers and I look away at his words. "Set up a food supply so Feyre isn't the one forced out-"

"I can look after my family Rhys."

"And your pride is harming that youngest of yours." He snaps and a tear slips down my face.

"Rha- oh Rhae, I didn't mean. I know." He pulls me against his chest. All of our previous lust is forgotten as our souls seek comfort in one another.

"We can't have fae influence, not with how the girls hate and fear them. Not to mention rumour has it that the Queens are circling like vultures. They need a way to either make an example of the fae caught in their lands or an alliance-"

"I know." He whispers and I stop trying to explain myself. I never need to explain myself to him and he doesn't need to explain himself to me. "I can't stop myself from wanting to help you even if I know the logistics and practicality of the set up would never work."

We're quiet for a long moment before he snorts. "Not to mention that I hear your girls have inherited your stubbornness. I doubt they would take kindly to my input or help."

I elbow him sharply in his side and his laughter reverberates into my body.

"They also inherited your strength." He murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head. "They're going to be okay."

They will be. They have to be. 

A/N: Finally posting again, I've been focusing on Mrs Mandray for a while so I'm going to try and get a few chapters up for this book to get the plot going again.