My next days in the Glade went surprisingly well. I fell harder for Gally every day, made sure Chuck had a nice time, and hung out with other friends. The Builders seemed to give up on annoying me, which I was happy about.

And now I was lying on my back, in the grass, with Gally next to me. Stars were above us, dozens of them. It was so relaxing to just lay there, our hands connected, and to talk.

"What would you do after we escaped this place?" I wondered. Immediately, his grip around my hand tightened and I felt him tense up.

Whenever I talked about the world outside the maze, he acted like that. I was suspecting he got very attached to the Glade and didn't want to let go for the only home he could remember having. And one of my main suspects was that he was afraid of the maze. Petrified. He never dared to talk about the time he got stung, either.

"I don't know." The change of tone in his voice broke my heart. He sounded so unsure and shaky. But yet he still tried to hide it and act tough.

I took a breath and asked a few questions, hoping to help him get comfortable with it a bit. After all, I would do a lot to be able to escape. But not without Gally. "Would you buy a house?"

"I don't have money."

"Then you make it." I shrugged. "Or would you buy a tent and live in the woods?"

"I'll stick with the house." He said blankly.

That was progress. He seemed less tense already. "Would you stay with me?"

"Is that even a question? Obviously." A squeeze in my hands.

I laughed. "So you would stay in a house, together with me? Any pets?"

"Newt can come and visit. We'll give him a lizard cage."

I muted a giggle with my hand. "That's... possible. Perhaps we could get a dog."

"Cat."

"Dog."

"Cats are better."

"Dogs are more fun."

"Cats are calmer."

"Okay. A cat and a dog." I decided. "Any kids?"

I did not mean to ask that. I just flopped out of my mouth. Crap.

"Maybe." He replied. "But I'll wait a few years before thinking about that in a serious way. You?"

It relieved me he answered so casual.
"Hm. I don't know." I bit my lip. "We'll see. What kind of house would you get?"

"I really don't care. As long as you're in it and happy, then it's perfect." He muttered, scratching his forehead.

I nodded. Both of us were silent for a little while, our breaths the only hearable thing. I thought about what would be outside the maze. If the world was stable or not. If there were humans or not. If I would be able to live together with Gally. But we would, no matter what.

So badly I wanted to leave the place. Leave te Builders behind. My wish to run in the maze was still there, deep down. It was an aching pit in my stomach, constantly telling me to not give up and just run. Run out of the place. Make sure Chuck had a nice home and found his parents. That Newt would get everything he deserved and find a partner. That Ben would get a farm with millions of chickens.

"I really want to get out of here, Gally." I whispered, swallowing and blinking away pain.

"You can't."
He didn't make eye contact. He didn't blink. He just stared at the sky, emotionless.

My breathing got stuck in my throat for a second. "What do you mean?"

His jaw tightened. Eyes squinted. "There's nothing out there for us."

My full attention was on now. I lifted my head up, leaned on my elbow. "What?"

"I'm not sure." He continued. Slowly. Almost making me impatient. "But I saw things that did not show any good signs of happy lives with a nice, warm sunshine. No big houses with beautiful gardens."

"What?" I repeated, confused. He wasn't giving away the information that I needed to understand everything.

"There was something with fires. The sun." He was staring at the sky so focused now I realized he was doing everything to dig back into his memories. To bring the horrible ones back. "There were screams. People running. Tunnels. Lots of tunnels." He said. "Abandoned hospitals yet not fully abandoned."

"Not fully abandoned?" I furrowed my eyebrows. Something was wrong with the world, I was informed by now. But.. it was so confusing. And I had no idea if Gally was leaving out any details or not.

"People. They were still in there." His voice lowered. "But no doctors. No nurses."

"Where they treating themselves?" I wondered quietly.

"No." He shook his head. "I... I don't know. It looked like they... like they lived there. They were recovering and getting worse at once. No... no, wait. That wasn't it. They- they were trying to heal but they couldn't and they-."

"Hey." My hand on his shoulder. I sat straight up now, noticing he was breathing fast. Too fast. His voice wasn't steady anymore. His eyes unfocused off the sky. He was panicking about his own memories. "Don't worry. Just tell me as much as your comfortable with."

He shook his head again. "But I want to tell you. I want to. They just won't let me."

"Let... you?" I repeated. 

"It warns me." Gally started. "It's like a switch being clicked and it tells me, not in words, but it tells me not to talk further. Like they don't want me to share this information."

I breathed in. And out. "Okay."

"One time I tried to- tried to tell Alby." His eyebrows scrunched slowly. "But it made me strangle myself. I couldn't control it. I- I didn't know what was happening but all I knew was that I would never tell anyone again." Then his gaze softened. "Except for you. But now it's gotten to the point where I can feel their controlling coming."

I was breathless. He had been through so much more than I thought. Suffering from getting stung. From the probably awful memories. And the way he had been keeping this to himself for who knew how long.

"You know what's funny?" He scoffed now. Put on a forced smile. "That sometimes I wish— no, wished— that sometimes I did end up strangling myself completely. Until I died."

I was breathless and speechless at once now. My hands clenched around the grass. I didn't know if I wanted to hear the rest or not.

"Because," he continued, "Because no one seemed to like me either way. Not before getting stung, not after getting stung."

"People do like you." I whispered. "More people than you think."

"And yet they back off when I walk past. Stare. Don't want to try out being a Builder."

I was shaking my head. I was shaking it so hard I felt myself get dizzy. "That's not true." I breathed. "I've seen how you handle Greenies. How you help them in a teasing way. You're- you're not as bad as you think you are."

He blinked a few times. Kept his eyes on the stars. "I know I'm... grumpy or whatever."

"But you're not grumpy toward me." I said before he could finish. "Why's that?"

"Because I love you." He told me.

That couldn't have been the full truth. There was something about the way he said it. There was more.

"What else?" I asked. "It's not just because of that, Gally."

He sucked in a few breaths. "Because I'm comfortable around you."

"Only me?"

"No. Well- yes. And no." He sighed. "I do feel like you're the only person I can talk to. Talk to like we are talking now. The others don't seem to listen."

"But-."

"No." He shook his head again. "They don't listen. And I don't care that they don't, but I know it. Newt doesn't like me. I don't care that he doesn't. I really don't. It doesn't bother me that Minho doesn't like me. But what does bother me, is the way they make things unfair like that."

"Unfair?" My heart nearly dropped. He was misunderstood. So misunderstood.

"We've had issues, yeah? Before you were here, we obviously had gatherings too. I was there, and all the other Keepers were there." He bit his lip before he continued. "And it's not that it bothers me that much or that I want attention— but they don't let me speak."

"They don't?"

He hummed. "When you were there, they did let me, but only because for once I was on the same side as them. Alby lets me speak, though. He seems to be okay with me. But the rest...? Interruptions and comebacks. Secret glances. And I don't get why. I just don't know."

All I could do was attack him with a hug, a few seconds later. Made sure his body was close to mine and he felt the comfort he deserved. He hugged back. Let out a laugh mixed with a cry. I held him tight, wanting any pain he was carrying to disappear.

"I'll make sure you can speak." I promised sternly. "As the Third-in-command, I will. And I'll tell Newt to shut his hole."

"But he's your best friend."

"Best friends can do that." I confirmed, acting tough.

"I don't want you to lose your best friend because of me."

"I won't." I smiled. He still lay on the grass, I sat beside him. "But I'll stand up for you. Promised."

He threw his head back and laughed. A genuine laugh. "You're cute like this."

I lifted an eyebrow. "I supposed I'm always cute."

"That too." He assured, still chuckling and eyes trailing over my face, to my lips. "Can I kiss you?"

The consent was always so amazing. "Yes."

He smiled and sat up too now, taking my waist and pulling me closer until our lips made contact. I was hypnotized immediately, forgetting we were in the middle of the Glade, and kissed back deeply.

My hands rested on the side of his head and his shoulder. He lifted me up by the waist, too, and sat me down on his knees, or rather, lap. And he smiled through it again, which caused me to mentally scream. 

Cupped my face with one hand, held my waist with the other one as we softly made out. I pulled him closer, finding no other space between us when our foreheads nearly touched.

Hums were shared through it, then slowly, we let go. "Everyone can see us." I whispered, almost giggling.

"They're asleep anyways. Otherwise, you can let them know I'm yours." He grinned.

I loved how he never said I was his. He never growled possessive things at me. He said he was mine, in fact.

I laughed. "And I'm yours."

"If you say so." He gave me a crooked smile, circling his thumb over my cheek, murmuring, "You're skin is so soft."

I pulled a face.

He grinned again. "What? Too cheesy?"

I nodded and blushed at once. "Definitely."

"And yet your skin is turning red."

"Moonburn."

"Right." He exhaled. "Gingers get burned fast."

"Yep."