this was the letter after baekhyun read the last one, which he read it the night the letters were given to him.

dear baekhyun,

let me tell you one of my favorite quotes i read:

i write because no one listens to me when i speak.
and maybe my words on paper will seep into their minds.

sad, right?

i know, no one understands me anyway. even my family don't.
so that's why i always keep things to myself, in a way that i can't be a burden or just add problems to them.

i'm always jealous when people are too happy. sometimes, i wonder. when will i ever find happiness? or maybe genuine happiness?

when will i ever find someone who will love me?

things like that, will always come to my mind. and i felt like the world had a grudge on me.

maybe i was just born to be hurt? right?
yeah, right.

i don't deserve happines and i don't deserve love. all i do is just being a problem to everyone.

sometimes i wish i would just die, sometimes i wish i wasn't alive.
that another person was just in my place, that it wasn't me.

and sometimes i find joy in life, in living.

but i don't understand. i don't know.

should i still go, should i still continue?

but i remember that maybe it was just a bad day, not a bad life after all.
maybe after all these problems, it will pass like a rainbow after a storm.

that's why i write, not because i like to. because i want to.
because if i write those things in paper, it will be better that way.

that somehow i still poured out my feelings and my emotions.

i hope everyone finds their own happiness and love.

love,
k.t.y