a/n : hhhh, this was so hard to writeeee

Virgil eyed the box on the table, his leg bouncing up and down in an effort to calm his nervousness. His breaths were short and ragged, and he knew he would have a panic attack if he didn't calm himself. Virgil fiddled with his fingers twisting them around his sleeves.

He reached out to grab it, but snatched his hand away quickly. Taking a deep breath, he took it in his hand, opening it carefully. His shaking hands brought the ring in the direction of the window, the soft moonlight enveloping it.

He had seen the ring in the window the other day, the small twinkle of the garnet diamond catching his eye. He didn't usually do things from mere impulse, but he headed in to buy it.

And so, he had ended up in this situation. In the middle of the night, sitting on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake Roman, contemplating on whether he should propose or not.

Could he do this? Was he sure Roman would say yes? After all they had been dating for a bit over 4 years. That wasn't a lot of time, was it?

Virgil drummed his fingers along his knee sighing. He placed the ring carefully back in the box, putting back on the night stand.

Tomorrow-Virgil could settle this. Now he simply wanted to get back into bed and cuddle his boyfriend until the alarm inevitably rang.

Virgil was actually surprised that Roman hadn't woken up. He wasn't a deep sleeper, but he would usually wake when Virgil wasn't next to him.

"Virge?"

Ah, there it was.

Virgil turned around, just as Roman gently placed one of his hands above Virgil's. He was struggling to keep his eyes open, a tell to his tiredness.

"I'm here, Ro." he smiled, shuffling so he didn't have to strain his neck to see him.

" 'you okay?" he asked, yawning after.

Virgil nodded, gulping. All the doubts were rushing back to haunt him. He didn't deserve Roman. He didn't deserve to wake up every morning next to him and tease him about the infuriatingly adorable bed head. He didn-

"Dearest? What happened?"

Virgil was snatched from his thoughts by Roman's worried whisper, his thumb caressing his skin on his hand.

"Nothing. Let's go ba-"

Roman frowned, getting up suddenly, a decision he seemed to regret almost immediately. He hissed, burying his head in Virgil's shoulder. Virgil exhaled, amused, threading his fingers through Roman's hair.

Roman huffed, his indignation at Virgil's laugh obvious.

"You good now?" Virgil whispered. Roman nodded, sitting up properly on the bed.

"What happened? Are you alright?" Roman finally asked Virgil, taking his hands in his own.

Virgil tried giving him a reassuring smile, but still, Roman's soft frown didn't waver.

"Nothing happened."

Roman raised an eyebrow, not believing. He knew Virgil well enough to realize when something was off. 

"Just-" Virgil hesitated "... some bad thoughts"

Roman's expression softened, squeezing Virgil's hands reassuringly.

"Do you want to share them with me?" he asked.

Virgil hesitated, biting his inner cheek.

"I promise I won't judge you. I love you, Virgil. Whatever it is, we'll do it together, right?"

Virgil's stomach flipped at those words.

"On the subject of doing things together..."

Virgil took a deep breath, reassuring himself using Roman's words and comforting smile.

"Promise you won't be mad?"

Roman nodded, his green eyes sparkling with a certain curiosity Virgil had seen him wear several times.

Virgil took a deep breath. Holy shit, he was going to do it. "Close your eyes."

Roman obeyed, letting his eyes slip shut. Virgil leant back, grabbing the velvet box from the night stand. He opened it, taking the ring.

Virgil held Roman's hand in a tight grip, watching the confusion spread across his face.

Should he? It would be the lamest proposal ever, wouldn't it? Roman would've wanted to have a big, planned out surprise. This was all a horrible mistake.

Virgil shook his head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. Roman loved him. It would be okay...wouldn't it?

Virgil finally, finally, slid the ring on Roman's finger, marveling at how perfectly it fit, how beautifully the scarlet color of the ring contrasted perfectly with his skin.

He quickly let Roman's hand limp, his heart drumming loudly in his ears. Virgil dragged his gaze down, not bearing to look at Roman, whose face was most certainly disgusted or mocking. He shouldn't have done this. This was a mistake. What was he thinking? 

A small gasp snatched Virgil from his thoughts.

"Virgil..."

The tone of voice was one Virgil couldn't decipher. He wasn't sure if it was sad or pleased. He hated it.

The two hands cupping his face surprised him greatly. Roman forced Virgil to look at him, tilting his head in such a gentle movement. 

He was crying. The last thing Virgil wanted was to make him cry. How stupid he had been. 

"I'm so sor-"

"I do."

Virgil hadn't been able to process the answer quickly enough, as Roman dragged him in for a soft kiss, lips brushing against each other ever so gently. It was the sort of kiss that still sent butterflies to Virgil's stomach and his head spinning. 

"You do?" Virgil whispered hesitantly against Roman's lips, not wanting to let that feeling disappear(it seemed the only solution was to never let Roman go)

"There was never a different answer, my stormcloud."

Those words sent a flicker of joy to Virgil's chest, capturing Roman's  smiling lips once again. It was so unbearably sweet, Virgil thought he might explode. He pulled Roman closer, who hummed, wrapping his arms around his neck.

The force of his smile made his cheeks ache dully, but he didn't seem capable of stopping. 

"I once promised I would spend the rest of my days with you..." Roman whispered, breathing heavily as he reached out to lean his forehead against Virgil's. He pressed a small peck to his lips, an action that made Virgil giggle, Roman echoing him. "I don't intend to break it."

"You're stuck with me for the rest of your life, Princey."

Roman nuzzled their noses, a soft one sided smile on his face.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."