🔪》Title, Cover, & Blurb

The title is capitalized correctly and it fits the story. The cover is alright, it's a little fuzzy. The font used for "my" doesn't really fit with the story or others. I suggest puttering "my" in the same font used for "not" and "little." The text also covers the male model, so it's hard to see him. I like the cover in the mood board chapter! I think it fits the story better and it's more appealing. The blurb introduces the characters and the story well. The part with "the problem?" and the statements gets repetitive.

🔪》Plot

The plot of the story is interesting and intriguing. The exposition introduces the characters well and the world pretty well. The world is also pretty easy to understand since it's based on the real world. I'm not very familiar with Indian culture and the caste system though, so that part is a little hard for me to understand. The plot is progressing at a nice pace and the sexual tension between Nithin and Vinaya keeps the readers interested. The prologue isn't needed since it has excerpts from chapter one and chapter one starts before the prologue takes place.

🔪》Characters

The characters are introduced and described well. Their personalities are also shown throughout the chapters well. The characters are also relatable and the readers are interested in them. I liked that Vinaya and the readers were expecting Nithin to be super rich and have a wonderful apartment since he's a COO of an engineering firm, but in reality he's struggling and his apartment isn't nice. It's a nice change of pace from similar stories and it makes Nithin relatable. The relationship between Nithin and Vinaya is developing well. I'm impressed by Nithin's ability to pick up the roach and throw it out the window. I could never lol.

🔪》Grammar/Spelling

There were a few spelling and grammar errors throughout the chapters, but nothing major that took away from the story. Books should be italicized, not in quotations. For example, Fifty Shades of Grey and Twisted Games. In chapter three, Nithin says "See, I'll not interfere with your life if you don't interfere with mine, kapish?" It isn't spelled kapish, it's spelled capisce.

Make sure to keep dialogue/actions for characters on separate lines.

For example, you have this part in chapter 3:

"Vinaya, safety is paramount, especially in the Bronx," Nithin began, adopting a protective tone.

"Always be aware of your surrounding, especially in less crowded or dimly lit areas. Try to avoid isolated places, and if you're walking along, stick to well-lit streets." He told her. Vinaya was starting to get annoyed. She was a girl who grew up in India. Of course she knew how to stay safe. She didn't appreciate the older brother tone he had adopted with her.

It should be like this:

"Vinaya, safety is paramount, especially in the Bronx," Nithin began, adopting a protective tone. "Always be aware of your surrounding, especially in less crowded or dimly lit areas. Try to avoid isolated places, and if you're walking along, stick to well-lit streets." He told her.

Vinaya was starting to get annoyed. She was a girl who grew up in India. Of course she knew how to stay safe. She didn't appreciate the older brother tone he had adopted with her.

🔪》Writing Style

The writing style is consistent throughout the chapters, however, it needs some improvement. Quite often, you tell the readers what's happening instead of showing them. Transitions between scenes isn't smooth either. I recommend adding a fleuron (for example ***) between scene changes so it's easier for the readers to understand the changes. Descriptions of the characters and the scenery are done well.

🔪》Enjoyment

The story was enjoyable and I would read on! I was expecting this to be like a slowburn, however, I like how the story is progressing. I'm definitely interested in seeing where it goes. I'm also interested to see what happens in chapter seven since it's titled "Strip Poker." I could infer the meanings of some of the words that were in another language, but I liked that you included translations at the end of the chapters and sometimes in the chapter.

🔪》Overall

Overall, the plot was interesting and it was an enjoyable read. The story does need an edit to fix the spelling and grammar errors. Also, be sure you're showing the readers what's happening instead of telling. The transitions between scenes need to be smoother and clearer. The characters are interesting and their personalities are shown well throughout the chapters. The descriptions of the characters and the scenery are also done well. Good luck with your story!