𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

Tilly could only remember a few of her family dinners, at least those ones where the time eating wasn't spent in complete silence. It was Christmas and she was five, before her parents sent her away and back when they actually bothered to utter more than a few sentences to her.

She remembered the deep red velvet dress she wore and how she sat in her grandfather's lap when she slept. That was the year she refused to eat anything other than mashed potatoes and peas for Christmas dinner, at the time her parents thought it was funny yet, later on, scorned her for her behaviour.

As she scooped up the pile of cold peas from her plate, she was so woefully reminded of the times before. That's all she ever really thought about these days, what could have been if the world had not fallen into an abyss. She looked around and studied the smiling faces of the loud group, it reminded her of holidays, the good ones.

The soft candlelight mimicked the warm fireplace of yuletide, all they were missing was the dulcet tones of her Grandmother's Christmas album that played along to the fire crackling.

Although she could never go back to those sweet memories, even if the end of the world was never to occur, she couldn't help but feel a smile etched on her face at the thought of spending such an intimate family occasion with the people in front of her. Yet she only wished Teddy was here to see it.

"I'd like to propose a toast!" Abraham shouted from his standing position, everyone else took seats on the floor so they were all facing one another, adults with glasses of wine and Judith sitting pleasantly in Rick's lap. Carl served himself whatever delicious mush the group had scraped out of cans and took a seat next to Tilly without hesitation. Tilly looked at the boy as he idly scooped food into his mouth and offered him a kind smile.

"I look around this room.... And I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title." he looked at the faces of the people he was surrounded with and chuckled in serenity. "To the survivors," he said as he lifted his drink.

"Survivors!" Tilly muttered along with the same chime as everyone else whilst raising her water bottle, carl beside her did the exact same as he angled his bottle towards her, she smiled and tapped her bottle against him in celebration and took a small sip before returning to her festive peas.

"Is that all you want to be?". Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat?" he began again, the room fell to silence as they all caught on to where he was leading this impromptu speech.

Tilly noticed the routine as something all too familiar in her life, she had often wondered the same, if it was all worth it if she was stuck in the endless cycle of bare survival.

"Cause you can do that, I mean, you've got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now we get Eugene to Washington, he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again, and that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip. Eugene, what's in DC?" Abraham went on, his determination to have the group go with him continuous and strong.

Tilly thought about going, and what it would mean for her, but decided she would do what Rick did. More accurately she would probably do what Carl did having grown a strange bond with the boy.

Eugene shifted in his seat, and everyone's wary gazes fell to the scientist as they awaited the key to humanity's survival. The simple words would tell them it's okay and that good truly does prevail over evil.

"Infostructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this FUBAR magnitude. That means fuel, food, refuge. Restart" he finished as Abraham sighed with delight. Tilly made a mental note to ask Eugene what exactly FUBAR was, she didn't know if it was some fancy science term only the man would know or something simplistic she should have learned in sixth grade but never got the chance to.

"However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started." he let a pause simmer within the group, letting his words sink deeper into the skins of the people who just wanted rest, just wanted peace.

"Come with us. Save the world for that little one" he nodded towards Judith as the little girl gently rested her head on the protective chest of her father. "Save it for yourselves, save it for the people out there... who don't got nothing else to do except survive"

Everyone shared glances, some hesitant and some hopeful. It seemed that whatever the verdict was, they would stick together. To them, saving the world meant nothing if they couldn't have each other by their sides and Tilly was beginning to understand that.

She looked across the room at the wandering eyes of the adults and caught the gaze of Michone, the woman simply gave her a nod and a glance to Rick where everyone else eyes seemed to land. Rick chuckled as they all looked at his dishevelled face, the little girl in his lap cooed as the rest of the group laughed.

"I think she knows what I'm about to say" he chuckled as he looked to Tyreese "she's in, if she's in I'm in... were in" he smiled as the group cheered and clapped. Tilly couldn't help but smile a bit, teddy had always said to her that humans needed a problem to solve and they wouldn't stop till they found one.

She glanced over to Carl who sat with the same grin on his face that she had, the boy turned to her and leaned in cheekily.

"Hey maybe when we save the world, we can help each other with homework" he laughed, recalling the sarcastic tones of the girl from the day prior. Tilly scrunched her nose and forced an obviously fake laugh on the boy. He let out a beautiful boyish giggle as she took one of her peas and threw it at his head.

"Shut up" she laughed as he pushed her shoulder in retaliation. Tilly bathed in the simplicity of childish antics, not having a chance nor many friends to have such games with in the past.

The prospect of Carl Grimes becoming her friend made her somewhat nauseous for a reason she could not describe, however lavished in the thought of having someone by her side once again. Someone she coils share her thoughts with and not have to keep all her personality bottled up and sealed within. Something about carl made her feel like herself again.

.......

Bob hadn't come back. Carol hadn't come back. Daryl hadn't come back.

Tilly was reminded ever so cruelly of how quickly things can turn, one moment it's Christmas, and the next you're back in the hellhole of planet earth. Her leg shook violently as she sat idly on the pew, maggie occupying the space next to the anxious girl. Maggie's gentle fingers brushed over the worn-out cover of a bible she held. Tilly watched as her dirt-ridden fingers traced the cracks in the soft black leather. Maggie placed the bible atop the pile of others that were strewn out across the pew.

"People disappear so easily these days" Tilly softly spoke up, her voice cracking slightly from how quietly she spoke up. Maggie's head lifted gently to the girl, her eyes softening in sympathy, knowing exactly what she felt like. Tilly picked at her fingernails as she kept her head low, listening to the silent shuffles of feet in the room or the subtle clanking of dirty silverware.

"I lost my Daddy," Maggie said solemnly, making Tilly lift her head to the mourning woman. "I don't know where my sister is" she continued. Tilly didn't exactly know how to respond to that, the blue reality that grief hangs so bitterly in everyone's hearts stung her so hideously. Maggie placed her hand on Tilly's knee in such a maternal matter, it almost killed her to feel that sort of love.

"I'm sorry" Tilly croaked, placing her hand atop Maggie's as she heard the creak of the old church doors. "We'll get 'em back" she simply stated, never being one who offered much comfort by would try her hardest to make it all better. She needed to make it better for them after they made it so much better for her.

"Stop, what are you doing?" Sasha blurted out in front of Gabriel, Tilly's head turned to see her, Tyreese and Rick standing as if they were ready to fight, staring down the priest as if had cursed them all. "What are you doing?... this is all connected. You show up, were being watched, and now three of us are gone" she continued, her voice laced with venom and revenge. Tilly didn't blame her, she was sure she would do the same thing for anyone she loved.... If they were still there.

"And I'm not that confident that the kid had nothing to do with it... We found her just the same as we did him" Sasha spat as her head whipped around to face the girl. Tilly's heart dropped, although she expected such doubt to come from a stranger, something about this group of people not trusting her sent shivers of fear through her veins. Tilly's mouth opened to reply but nothing came out, thought of being kicked out and thrown to the woods again flooded her mind and she couldn't bare leaving someone again.

"She's got nothin' to do with this" Maggie stood up in front of Tilly, her arms crossed towards Sasha as she defended the cowering girl. Tilly had noticed Carl, too, stood up and inched forward a tad, ready to fend off any doubt about the girl. Tilly's eyebrows furrowed with worry as she locked her eyes on Sasha's, a wave of sympathy washing over her as she realised just how much pain she was going through. Tilly cocked her head to the side, communicating so many unsaid things to the distressed woman.

Sasha's head dropped and spun around back to Gabriel, she unsheathed her knife and was met with the sudden protest of the group, the reliance on violence so natural and easy it was like picking up a phone.

"Where are our people?!" she spoke bitterly, the words cutting through the air so spitefully.

"I don't have anything-"

"WHERE ARE OUR PEOPLE" she shouted as she interrupted the babbling priest, her voice holding so much pain that it felt like a punch to the gut simply hearing them. Gabriel continued to defend himself as Sasha was held back, Rick took slow movements forward, finally drawing out an answer from the scared man.

He wept and cried, his hands clutched in guilt as he grasped for his heavy heart. The words came in fractions to Tilly, the painfully familiar tale of innocence left for death rang desperately through her mind. The cracks and whimpers in the words he spoke felt like stepping into an old classroom.

"I always locked the doors" repeated and travelled its way through the darkened church as the man fell to his knees. Similarly, Tilly couldn't help but remember the way she had once fallen after the fire, the days spent in the woods curled up on a tree trunk and wishing so desperately she could rip the memory from her own mind.

She stood up gently, with shaky legs and carried her tired body out of the pews, everyone too entranced with the sobbing priest to notice her sudden departure. She needed anything but that suffocating air that clogged her throat, egging on the cries that she so desperately wanted to let out.

You'll burn for this

You'll Burn for this

I should have burnt with them

I should have burnt for them.

I should have burnt instead of them.

Her thoughts spread like wildfire as she made her way to the church door, the loud creaking drawing everyone's notice to the girl's quick breath and hasty movements. The air hit her so suddenly it could have been a crack to the head. On the worn-out porch of the church, the dusty wood held her fragile body before her legs could buckle under the weight of her own mind. Her head bowed sharply as she clung to her beating heart.

Before her wretched cries could wrack her body, the shuffle of a body in her peripheral vision alerted her to the still man lying on the grass in front of her. Her breath stopped just as the rest of the group followed out behind her.

Glenn quickly ran to the girl on her boney knees and placed a hand on her shoulder in concern, his eyes leaking with worry but never meeting Tilly's as hers were glued to the still body on the grass. Glenn spotted what she was so intently staring at and quickly lifted the girl by her arm before he could run towards whoever it was.

Tilly swayed a little from getting up so fast however could not care less and she recognised the body to be Bob. He lay still on the grass as the group hastily picked him up, others warding off the incoming walkers as they did.

Tilly noticed the slight struggle they had carrying the man and sprinted over to help. Not before the decaying grimy hands of a walker reached out for her shoulder. The creature opened its foul jaw releasing an ungodly stench upon the girl but was not as quick as Tilly's knife as it plunged its way into the walker's head.

"TILLY! INSIDE NOW!" Rick shouted from the other side of the lawn as he shot at the oncoming walkers.

The girl ripped the knife back from the head of the now unmoving creature. She scrambled inside, almost falling to the ground as she entered the church once again however her trip was halted by Carl crashing into the girl. She rebalanced herself as carl shared a worried look on his face. She nodded as if to say 'im fine' and he did the same.

.......

Carl methodically tapped his gun in the silence, the dark atmosphere of the room making it sound like small raindrops on a roof. Tilly wished more than anything that rain was what she was hearing. But no. she was in a cold room awaiting a slaughter. What was left of the church were those hanging in the dim office, holding the fort for the dying man on the couch.

Tilly had to say goodbye to a lot of people in her past. Some she did willingly and others made her wish for certain death herself. All she wanted was for her words to cling forever to the people she had to send off, even if it was of no comfort to them, it selfishly made her feel a whole lot better in such dire circumstances.

But looking at Bob who was bleeding from the shoulder and the stump that once was his leg, she felt so guilty. How could she say goodbye to someone she never really said hello to?

Her blaring gaze on the dying man was interrupted by the familiar creak of the church doors. Her hand immediately went for the gun that now rested in the waistband of her jeans. Carl did the same however he showed no hesitance in raising it to the door, stepping slightly in front of the desk where his little sister lay.

"Well, I guess you know we're here... and we know you're here" the nasally unfamiliar voice rang out. She assumed the man was Gareth from the brief explanation she got. It was hasty and panicked but she understood the risk nonetheless. This time Tilly raised her gun to the door, mirroring the boy next to her as she stood so confidently in solidarity with the group she had known for so little time. "And we're armed, so there's really no point in hiding anymore."

The silence hung so heavily. Tilly fought the urge to cover her mouth to disguise her heavy breathing yet thought her gun would be more useful occupying her clammy hands. Although they were gentle, she could hear the faint creak of the old floorboards as what she assumed was a large group moved forward.

"We know who's here" Tilly heard as her head shuffled from person to person in the room, landing on Rosita's who lifted the hand that was not holding her gun and made a whispering gesture. Tilly would have never made a peep but understood the desperation for any lifeline that could let them see the morning sun.

"There's Bob unless you put him out of his misery already" Tilly's hand clutched her gun harder. "And Eugene, Rosita, Martin's good friend Tyreese, Carl, Judith. Rick and the rest all walked out... With a lot of your guns." more creaks and subtle clicks of guns whispered into Tilly's ear as they sent fear racing through her body

"Listen we don't know where you all are but this isn't a big place, so let's just stop this now before things get more painful than they need to be." Tilly had been alive long enough in this world to know none of this would just slip through the cracks.

They would not walk out of here and shake hands with them like good sportsmen and wander on their way. No. this could only end with her clothes stained in crimson and the cracked pieces of her morality slowly peeling away.

The locked door ratted as everyone clung to their weapons tighter, Gabriel clutching to his rosary beads. Tilly tried her hardest to keep her breath from hitching at the imminent danger of so many killers at her doorstep but her back straightened as she remembered that she, too, was a killer.

"Listen you're behind one of these two doors and we have more than enough firepower to take down both. Can't imagine that's what you all want." the man finished as he cocked his gun, making Tilly gulp.

"What about the priest? And the girl from the side of the road. You two help us wrap this up, we'll let you walk away from this." Both Carl and Gabriel's eyes shifted to the girl, her gaze meeting the priests and shaking her head to him, never in her life had she told an adult what to do however right then she knew she was stronger than him. Despite his desperate eyes, she wasn't going to let him walk out of here with her.

"Just open the door and you can go, you can take the baby with you... what do you say?" Unfortunately, right at that moment, Judith decided to let out a pitiful wail. Everyone's head shot straight to the crying child as Carl ran to her without hesitance.

"It's your last chance right now, to tell us you're coming out" Gareth finished. Gabriel once again looked to the girl in desperation, the turmoil of choosing the right path storming in his eyes. Tilly once again shook her head at him and raised her gun once again. Everyone in the room stood up and followed after her with the exception of Gabriel and Eugene.

However, the gesture was unnecessary, just before they could barge in, the sound of a silenced gunshot flew through the air followed by a thump to the floor. Gabriel flinched at the notion of such violence yet everyone locked in that room let go of their breaths.

Tilly didn't bother listening to Gareth's pleas. She knew it was wrong but she didn't care if he died. She simply stood in place and waited for the sound of grunts and blunt objects hitting skin to stop before Tyreese opened the door. She slowly walked out and averted her eyes from the crimson stained clutches that painted the walls, she placed her gun in her waistband once again and allowed everyone else to move into the office.

"This is the Lord's House" Gabriel squeaked from the front of the stage, his mouth agape watching the still body lay battered on the ground.

"No, it's just four walls and a roof" maggie finished. Gabriel moved his head to the frail girl as a stoic look plastered itself on her face.

"They would have let us go," he said to her. Tilly's head remained unmoved as she closed her eyes in disdain.

"No..... no they wouldn't have" she bowed her head and resided in the dim office.

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

A.N- sorry this chapter wasn't as good but i'm holding out for the road to washington for the juicy stuff.

love how i said chapters were gonna be shorter then made this one like equally as long 😋

i'm gonna start out the next chapter with Tilly and Teddy's first interaction and i can't wait for y'all to read about him and then get sad that he's dead.

ALSO THANKS SM FOR 700 READS❤️

love ya😩