Hi welcome to puRe cRaCk. I hope you enjOy your staY. Featuring a random thought i had at 2:47 am. More angst coming soon :^)
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"I just had a thought." Mina gasped, you could basically see the illuminated lightbulb floating above her head.

"Thats never a good thing." Bakugo murmured, everyone still heard it.

With an overdramatic eyeroll Mina continued her thought. "Doesn't UA look kind of like the teen titan tower?"

"No?" Monoma replied with a raised eyebrow. "The teen titan tower is in the shape of a T."

"UA is in the shape of a H." Uraraka continued.

"So wouldn't we be the Heen Hitans." Kaminari asked with excitement.

"Thats so stupid, at least make it catchy." Dabi scoffed.

"Highschool Heroes! Im a genius." Mina yelled.

Todoroki ripped a page out of his love child book. "Petition to change UA to Highschool Heros Htower. The h is silent in htower."

"Im not going to teach a school named that. I will burn your petition." Aizawa glared menacingly.

Multiverse ---> Hairspray Endeavours

The screen turns on to show a small figure gracefully hopping between rooftops, methodically maneuvering around any soutces of light in attempts to keep his identity a secret. Can't hide from the screen though.

Zooming in onto the figures face, it soon became apparent that the lower half of their face was wrapped in thick black duct tape, it stopped just behind the ears which were covered in shiny silver piercings.

Yes, he strapped actual sticky duct tape to himself, leaving a narrow slit for breath and communication.

"Who the fuck..." Monoma started but immediately abandoned ship, instead hopping in to the ocean of I don't want to know.

"Imagine if they had a beard. Ouch." Jirou snickered.

"MY PORES ARE SCREAMING FOR THEM." Uraraka yelled, running a pained hand down her round face.

"Its like a cheap persons way to wax?" Momo asked, unintentionally looking at Uraraka with a childlike innocence. The brunette girl had to take a deep breath in order to not pop off at the rich kids. Uraraka is me, i am Uraraka.

Sometimes you can't get the right materials. Don't be a jerk about it.

"Understandable. Have a nice day." Nodded Kaminari.

A pointed tooth grin was artistically drawn onto the tape in a shining white marker, though it was the tiniest bit lopsided giving the mystery person a dopey look

It was probably meant to look threatening but it honestly looked kinda cute, like Kirishima.

"I agree with the weird screen narrator. Kirishima is very precious and cute." Mina nodded in approval.

"Im manly! Not cute and precious." Kirishima huffed. Adorable.

"Your the perfect balance between sunshine and manliness, Kirishima." Momo corrected.

Kirisunshine just sank in his seat, grumbling about manliness. What even counts as manly anymore? Its lost its meaning at this point.

The figure was graceful as they vaulted carefully over rooftop ledges and swung on rogue tree branches. Running underneath a streetlight, the top of the figures head was revealed to be a familiar bush of green locks.

"Im not surprised."

"Yeah it was kind of obvious, though the tape threw me off." Shinso hummed.

"Yes, i thought Midoriya was smarter than using tape on his face. Thats something Kaminari would do." Iida sighed.

The Kaminari in question waited a second. "This is where your supposed to say no offense?" He shouted pointedly.

Iida sniffed before turning away.

"He basically just said 'i mean all the offense.' Bro" Tetsutetsu whispered.

Midoriya continued to skip over rooftops when a resounding ping came from the back pocket of dark black pants. The notification was loud against the silence of the night making Deku curse as he dove into an alleyway.

"THE BABY CURSED, TOGA SOUND THE ALARM." Mina yelled, pointing stoically at the vampire blonde who nodded in response as she poked Dabi in the side with her vEry sharp knife.

The Dabi in question yelped before cursing up a fucking storm. Yes, this was the 'Cussing Bean Alarm'

"Since when were you bestfriends with Toga?" Sero whispered to the alien girl, she laughed like a gremlin in response.

"Since she joined the Izuku Protection Squad, well its actually turning into more of an agency now.."

"Doesn't she want to see him iN bLoOd or something though?"

"Yeah well, we agreed to pour fake blood on him and let Bakugo sock him in the face. Its sure to have the same effect."

Everyone seemed to be getting along well now, literally everyone was forgetting the fact they were heros and villians. I wonder how they'll react to Shigaraki's backstory now... ;^)

The greenette slumped against the cobwebbed brick wall, huffing as he pulled out a battered cellphone from his back pocket. He swiftly unlocked his phone to see he had 3 missed messages.

"Ooo Mr. Popular are we?" Kaminari stated, wiggling his eyebrows.

"The only text messages i get are from insurance companies telling me i died in a car crash." Todoroki deadpanned.

"AWW TODODOKI!" The audience collectively shouted.

Endeavour raised a fiery brow. "Shoto, what are you talking about? I message you every day!"

"I purposefully gave you Midoriya's number, you talk to him not me." The halfa replied a bit too innocently for the crime he just admitted to.

"Then I'm adopting him."

"WOAH THERE BUCKAROO." All Might interrupted, a dad fight ensued while Mina moved seats to sit with Toga, Shinso, Dabi and Shigaraki. They ate popcorn.

"Look what you started." Jirou laughed poking a nervous Kaminari.

[1 message]
💥Blasty Bitch💥
5 minutes ago / 00:32

Hey Deku have you seen the news? They're all over your night time run in with Best Jeanist. Its fucking hilarious: https://HNNpepperspray

"Oh my golden cow statue i worship like a God!" Kaminari and Sero gasped out in a singular breath. "They're bestfriends here! Thats adorable."

" F u c k - o f f "

"I'm guessing he's a vigilante. Normal vigilantes are enough of a pain without this problem child running around as one of them." Aizawa grumbled, running a hand down his face in frustration. This wasn't even his universe yet he felt his counterparts stress.

"Would that mean his vigilante name is." Monoma started, almost not wanting to continue. "Pepper Spray?"

"Pfft 's better than Stain." Shigaraki snorted.

Uraraka gasped, defensively hugging Iida. "HWSNBNIFOI" Iida was, to nobody's surprise, just sighing at the girls antics.

"I wonder why its Pepper Spray though." Shinso grinned, he already knew deep down.

The boy rolled his emerald eyes, a mischievous grin visible under his makeshift mask. He quickly swiped the message away, hastily moving onto the next.

[1 message]
💚Mom💚
12 hours ago / 12:27

I'm going to be working late again tonight sweetie! Theres money for pizza on the side if you get hungry, don't answer the door to strangers and be in bed by 10. I love you lots. Xx

Izuku bit his bottom lip at his blatant disregard for his mothers home alone rules. Maybe he would've felt a little guilty if he didn't absolutely love what he did, after all whats better with messing with heroes?

"Oh shit, so Bakugo knows Midoriya is a vigilante?" Dabi had the lightbulb moment of the fucking century.

Mina squealed. "And he never ratted them out because they best fwends, uwu." The pink girl narrowly avoided an explosion to the face as she skipped around the theater.

"At least he doesn't kill heros? Just messes with them." Ojiro said nervously, (im sorry he's a part of the oops i forgot you exist squad)

Shigaraki shrugged absently with a grin. "I don't know man. I say i mess with people but i actually just push them in front of a bus." Toga nodded next to him.

"Its about ✨p e r s p e c t i v e✨"

"Damn really? When i mess with people i just throw water at them. I think you should chill out." Kaminari frowned.

[1 message]
🖐Fuck Off🖐
1 hour ago / 11:29

Join the league, you pompous brat. I'm fully capable of breaking your kneecaps with a fucking baguette. 🖕-Shigaraki

"Recruitment 101." Dabi rolled his eyes, Shigaraki made a move to take he glove off but was stopped by Aizawa who just wanted sleep :(

"You almost killed us when we joined!" Toga squealed a bit too enthusiastically. "Then i tried to stab you but Mamagiri wouldn't let me."

"I should've let you, maybe turn it into the hunger games? Anything for peace and quiet." The mist man took a sip from his wine.

Sero snorted. "Something tells be your about to be put up for adoption. Couldn't be me."

"Break my legs with a baguette please!" Mina coughed, our crusty boy is pretty boy number 5.

Izuku scowled as he thought of a sassy comeback. Maybe something abstract, would that drive the point home. The greenette just wanted to have fun, not kill people, plus he was still determined to be a hero!

"Oh thank God. I can't handle another murderous bean." Hakagure sighed, relief fully present in her voice.

Though, as the boy was typing, an obnoxious light made itself known in the corner of Izuku's emerald eye. It couldn't of been a streetlight, those automatically turned on an hour ago so what the hell was it?

Izuku craned his neck lazily to identify the orange glow rudely intruding in his alleyway; the boy did a double take when he saw the one and only Endeavour stood angrily with his arms crossed.

"Shit."

"Fuck him up Midoriya!" Todoroki whooped, very out of character.

Dabi gladly joined in. "Mug him, steal his many credit cards and buy incriminating items!"

"Why are you saying this as if you've planned it out?"

"Oh this universe is set before Endeavours character development so i am all for murdering him in a dingy alley." Mina laughed, earning a few concerned looks and a smack upside the head from Sero.

"Please don't murder me?" Endeavour sighed, he was feeling very done with life at the moment. Poor him.

"Maybe just insult him until he cries?" Uraraka suggested.

"Don't."

"Your face is very insultable, Mr Number One Hero." Shigaraki snorted before he listed off all the things he didn't like about Endeavour's face. Sucks to be him.

"OuChiE."

The vigilante was quick to scarper out of the alleyway, the number two hero quite literally hot on his trail. The boy leapt over walls nimbly, zigzagging as he dodged the searing pillars of fire charging him.

"This is fine." He grumbled as he twirled around a corner, his footwork was that of a dancer, the way he sidestepped with acrobatic dexterity was entrancing. "I have a plan for this."

"This is fine." He repeated.

"I'm starting to get suspicious that it is in fact, not fine." Kaminari snorted.

Aizawa glared at Endeavour. "Why is your first reaction to someone standing in an alleyway to light them on fire?"

"A murderer won't answer you when you ask them what they're up to. They stab you." Endeavour defended, this made Shinso speak up with a cheeky smirk.

"Is that why i was put in general studies?"

"Are you speaking from experience, Endeavour?" Kirishima asked, cocking his head to the side as he looked at the flame hero. "Because it could be part of a manly vow that you'd never get stabbed again."

"I will gladly stab him." Toga interjected as she twirled her knife.

"Please do." Dabi and Shoto once again said in sync.

"Please dOn'T."

The greenette fumbled around his utility belt as he continued to dodge the hero's attacks. He digged deeply into one of its many pockets to pull out what he needed, sweating in frustration the vigilante yanked out a chunky bottle of hairspray.

"Oh fuck yes!" Dabi grinned, he was bouncing up and down in his seat in anticipation prompting Shigaraki to stand up and go sit next to Aizawa in hopes of achieving peace.

Shigaraki is the number one Aizawa fanboy, you can't tell me any different.

"Im expecting an explosion so big it puts the big bang to shame." Uraraka whistled ecstatically.

"Have you ever tried hairspray before, Endeavour?" Shinso asked, he's sitting with Monoma again because i miss their chaos. Everyone be leaving Dabi :,(

Endeavour's permanent scowl seemed to deepen. "No? Why would i? I don't lack cOmMon sEnSe?" You could practically see the veins in his head pulsing.

"You need to test the limits of your quirk, like once i stuck a fork in all the different sockets in my house to see which one felt the least bad!" Kaminari smiled, flailing his arms around as he spoke.

Toga grinned, popping her head into the conversation. "Yeah yeah! I tried to see what would happen if i mixed multiple people's blood together." Her face darkened as she recalled the memory. "It wasn't pretty."

"It wasn't that bad." Twice started happily before immediately switching. "It was so awful i puked for hours, Shigaraki looked like he wanted to decay his own eyes and Dabi set Toga on fire."

"I'm starting to worry about the villians for a different reason..." Shoji grimaced.

"HOW DID WE GO FROM HAIRSPRAY TO THIS?"

Izuku's face instantly lit up with arrogance, with a spin the boy turned to face the number two hero, his smug smirk only amplifying when he saw the anger painted on the olders face.

In one fell swoop, Izuku positioned the can of spray at the perfect angle to get the best results; right at the fire beard. The mist shot out of the nozzle, quickly permeating around Endeavour, who looked like somebody had just kicked his dog.

For a moment nothing happened, the pair just held a mini staring contest.

"Aww damn, don't tell me it didn't worrrk." Mina whined, she wanted some spicy action.

"The suspense is killing me." Kirishima added, sinking down in his chair.

Then it started getting warmer, the residue of snow on the floor was melting at a rapid pace leaving sad pools of water. Though the vigilante's victory was short lived when literal fire began surging towards him.

"Ohohoho shiiit!" It was a half scream, half laugh as Izuku tried to figure out which emotion he should be feeling.

"Shit he's actually combusting." Midnight laughed, she's not the best at setting a good example.

"Would that actually happen here? Do i need to go shopping?" Todoroki asked innocently.

"I wouldn't want to try." Endeavour replied, his words a strangled cry for help.

"We would though, God stop being such a stick." Dabi glared.

Endeavour was reaching his limit. "Touya stop."

Dabi choked. "Whaat? Who the fuck is thAaT?"

"I hate to tell you this." Shoto started, moving to one of the vacant seats near the flame villian before placing a hand on his scarred shoulder. "We all knew since the training camp, its painfully obvious Touya. Painfully."

"IM LOVING THIS FAMILY REUNION BUT I WANT TO SEE ENDEAVOUR LIGHT UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE!" Shinso shouted while Monoma hyped him up, you love to see it.

Quicker than the speed of light, Izuku Midoriya started backing away from the flames before declaring it useless and twirling around to dissolve into a full on sprint. As he ran he couldn't help but laugh at the fact Endeavour looked like a whole ass sun.

This was definitely the best decision of his life.

Most of the audience were cackling with the greenette on the screen while Endeavour watched like 🗿.

"We HAVE to try this when we get back!" Kaminari yelled through laughter. "Add it to the list!"

Hakagure was scrawling messy words on yet another piece of paper. "Already ahead of you Kami!"

"How many lists do we even have?" Iida sighed though he had an undeniable smile on his face.

"We have the: Mina's Ship List; The Villians Kidnap List; Secret Love Child List (we don't talk about that one); Shigaraki's kill list; and now the things to do list?" Momo answered, pulling out her list list. (I can't even)

"Don't forget about Uraraka's People to Rob list, kero." Tsu shamelessly ratted the brunette out.

"SHHH!"

Izuku pulled his phone out of his almost burnt pocket before taking a failed picture of the carnage to send to Kacchan. The boy soon realized he could not run faster than these flames were coming, he reaaaallly needed to get out of here.

Wincing as bright orange flames licked his back, Midoriya scanned the surrounding areas for a way to escape. His gaze flitted to a narrow alleyway, he could use the small space to climb up to a roof!

"Perfect! Full steam ahead‐ ouch, shit."

"See this is why you shouldn't do this, learn from Midoriya's stupidity." Aizawa lectured with a sigh.

"Todoroki, make sure you order fireproof suits as well, about 30 incase the villians wanna join in." Mina ordered, Todoroki dutifully nodding in response.

"Which of course we do!" Toga replied back with a smile.

"As representative for class B." Kendo started. "We would all like to join as well."

"I too, want in." Shinso and Mei added with a raised hand. They're on the same brainwave.

Aizawa wanted to kill someone but settled for retreating to his sleeping bag instead. "Why do i even try?"

When they were sure the annoyed homeroom teacher was gone, Mic and Midnight leaned in. "Add two more for us please." They whispered.

"Ill just order their whole stock." Todoroki deadpanned, Endeavour wanted to ask where he was getting the money from but something was telling him he didn't want to know.

Immediately, Izuku switched course towards the alleyway trying not scream as hot fire lashed against his body. He already knew his shirt was already ash or melted onto his skin, how could he tell?

Maybe it had something to do with the fact he could feel his skin blistering from the extreme heat. It was taking all his stamina to prevent himself from being completely engulfed in the inferno.

He couldn't even breathe because of the black smoke piling into the sky, its acrid smell was toxic making Izuku miss actual Oxygen. Yet he still didn't regret a thing.

'Thank God this estate was vacant. Hooray for new neighborhoods halfway built!' The boy thought. For the  p l o t .

"I was starting to worry about the people in those burning homes. Hooray for plot." Sero cheered.

"Hooray for plot!" The audience repeated.

"Though you have to wonder, is Endeavour still alive? Because damn that is alot of fire." Mei rubbed her chin quizzically.

"Don't worry, he can't die." Todoroki reassured with his signature blank expression.

"Yeah he's like a roach, can't get rid of him." Dabi added wisely.

"Your children love you so much, Endeavour!" Hawks grinned.

Endeavour glared at the chicken "Yes, so very much." He said with all the sarcasm he could muster.

The boy skidded into the alley, pulling up any loose gravel in the process. Summoning all his remaining energy Izuku bounced from wall to wall as he slowly ascended to the roof. Groaning at the searing pain that lingered on his skin.

Finally the boy could rest. He rolled onto his stomach while trying to ignore whatever mess his back was, Izuku was tired too, he needed Kacchan to pick him up. The flames were dying out now, the peaceful silence returning if you ignored Endeavour's lullaby of curse words.

"Endeavour reminds me of you, Bakubro." Kirishima stated, Todoroki gasped and held up his love child book on the page of Bakugo and Endeavour.

"What do you know! He already had that one written down!" Jirou snickered.

Bakugo just flipped the halfa off.

"His back looks like my soup when i leave it in the microwave for 3 days accidentally." Kaminari shuddered. "Bet it stinks like moldy mushrooms too."

"THats whaT thaT smeLL waS?"

Iida sighed, he was the one who discovered Kaminari's biohazard, Midoriya's back was giving him flashbacks.

Izuku's eyes fluttered closed but immediately opened again, because the image of Endeavour combusting was actually burnt into his retinas. It was glorious.

"Ha." The boy snorted, not moving from his position on his stomach.

"Worth it."

With that the screen turned off.

"I want vigilante Izuku to be my friend." Kaminari laughed.

"Thank you Vigilante Izuku for giving us something to do on Saturday! Endeavour beware." Shinso smirkes while Monoma and Mei made ghost noises in the background for effect.

Endeavour sighed. "I rate this world a 0/10."

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This whole thing is so bizarre.

I also started school again so updates will be less frequent, but today i go in a hot tub for the first time in 5 years.

Have a nice day/night~