For some reason, attractive people will always win the favor of society. It was one the perks I had known since high school, since I was considered as one of the prettier girls in campus.

I am Caucasian, but the touch of Asian features like the inexistent crease of my eyelids and the deep brown hair made me a bit exotic than most girls.

Maybe it was my growth spurt or even had something to do with my neutral expressions but I can never deny that a pretty face came with common privileges attractive people would always merit. Letters every Valentines, people would want to be friends with me from every grade level and it was the reason on why I had been able to seat with the popular girls in the diner.

It was amazing, how looks can deliver you through undeserved merits.

Though not always.

Because up until now I haven't totally gotten over his preference to her than to me. Multiple times it had appeared in my poems.

Someone once asked about the girl I always write about, the girl who took him away. Was she pretty?

Upon the podium, I stopped mid sentence.

Because truth was, I had the same question.

Was she pretty?

No. No she was not.

She wasn't near the adjective of aesthetically pleasing. She had nice skin but otherwise she had no other attributes that would make her stand out from millions of girls.

I was prettier. I was better.

And yet he had still chosen her.

I can never stop emphasizing that mere phrase which seemed to hunt me everytime I came close to thinking about forbidden thoughts.

He had chosen her. He had chosen her. He had chosen her.

Why had he chosen her?

I was by his side and yet he had chosen her.

People kept asking.

Was she pretty? Prettier than you?

I'd answer that she was not.

Then they'd backlash that if she wasn't, then why had he chosen her.

The harsh unfiltered truth.

She wasn't pretty to anybody else but to him alone. Not by physical appearance but by every essense of her.

I never wanted to be pretty for the world, I just wanted to be pretty for him.

That was all I ever asked for.

We never wanted to be worthy for everyone, we just wanted to be worthy for the people that matter.

I wish I were her.

I wish I were—

♣♣♣

—Vivian

Viviana Brews. Vee for short.

She was no stranger to me. We had been classmates since the start of junior high and was one of the smarter girls in the classroom, top 3. So I hadn't even bothered to look up from my paperback when she approached me.

A new seating arrangement had been posted on the announcement board since a transferee was introduced. We had two from the past quarter.

I yawned before deciding to take a break when I heard shuffling of shoes in front of me. I gazed up to an unconventional face, a bit chubby on each cheek as well as freckled with dark spots all over her forehead, nose and chin. I suddenly wondered if she ever considered treatment for the marks.

Hey sorry to bother you but a new seating was announced. I was assigned here.

Vivian pointed on the seat in front of me. I frowned since there was obviously someone seating there since a duffel bag was poking from underneath the wooden compartment of the seat.

I was about to answer when as always you interrupted me from your own chair.

No one's seating there Vee. You can have it.

You were chewing mentos to cover up the smell of your smoking. I had always disapproved of that habit of yours and had always been eager to show it by grimacing at the smell everytime. You must have caught my reaction since you scooted your chair closer to mine and placed an arm around my shoulder to make up for it. Instantly, I swooned at the contact.

Vivian placed down her notebook and slingbag warily. That was when she spotted the bag underneath.

Oh uhhhh, I think this was already taken—

She started to gather her things up again when you stooped down and grabbed the duffel bag before tossing it to another vacant seat.

There. Now the seat is truly empty. You can seat down now.

She was a bit aghast by how you handled it but later on decided to sit down. She shyly said thanks and you waved a hand as if dismissing her.

I leaned back to you and caught scent of your body spray. I'd be craving for that particular smell for the couple years to come.

I was playing with your finger while you hum a song I don't recognize.

What are you thinking?

I decided to ask and instead of answering me, you just smiled and hum even louder.

Your out of tune humming came out weird and I laughed. It had seemed like your were already aware with your terrible voice that you did not mind.

Mhmmm mmmm mmm mhmmm

You continued on and curiousty got the best of me.

What song is that?

I forgot the title. Some Indie band I kind of dig for a long time already.

What's the band's name?

You were looking straight ahead and seemed to be lost in thought as if a memory suddenly resurfaced in your mind.

When you did not answer, I thought you did not hear me.

What is the band's name?

I repeated the question and without as much as a movement in your face you replied.

Pink Orange Sunsets. Yeah that's the name.

I tried bringing up recollections if I ever listened to any of the band's songs but got none so I shook my head.

Think I heard of them but not their songs.

You broke out of your trance and gazed at me smiling.

That's okay. They're not exactly famous. I just like them since the band was introduced to me by someone special.

A twinge of jealousy creeped up inside but I decided to play indifferent.

Oh really? Who?

Nevermind that.

I playfully shoved him on the shoulder.

Come on now, who?

You frowned and removed your arm around me.

I said let it go Rosa.

I laughed and poked him on the ribs.

Just a little curious. Tell me who—

Will you fucking quit it? And stop with the laughing and the poking, you look stupid doing it.

Everything grew quiet, though the classroom was still clamoring on their activities, everything inside me grew quiet. I felt like something kicked my heart numb.

You noticed my change in mood since you let a sideglance on me but decided to speak nothing about it. Instead you sighed and bought out your cellphone. Plugging your earphones on the device, you leaned on me and placed it on both my ears before hitting play on your screen.

A soft strumming of guitar started the song as the first verse entered.

How I stared into your eyes
Silenced by your silence
The horrors one can still portray
Without the use of violence

Tell me, tell me how do I
Stop a heart from loving
When all that it had been made
Was to crave for your longing

I listened earnestly. The jam soft, the lyrics truthful, the hand holding the earpiece against my head throbbing through my midst. It was a beautiful song, although I'm not sure what to say about the meaning behind. But if you love it, I will also try to.

After it ended, you looked excitedly on me, your earlier offense forgotten already.

So?

The hopefulness in your voice was evident.

What's the title?

Stop a Heart by the same band I told you about.

Pink Orange Sunrise right?

Sunset, Rosa.

You were frowning while saying that and I reminded myself to not mess it up again as to not upset you.

It was good. I personally love the beat. Catchy.

It was obvious. You were disappointed in my answer but chose to let it by.

Check it out Rosa. They have other good songs to.

I smiled.

Sure, of course.

You opened a textbook and decided to review for a quiz you missed so I settled back in my own seat.

That's when I noticed Vivian staring at us. More specifically at you. It was a look of wonder and interest, a look that was only rightful from me.

I pointedly stared at Vivian and she noticed it since she snapped out and gone back to reading.

I was suddenly scared of this girl in front of me, this familiar face. I tried to pinpoint where my fear was coming from but I just can't seem to.

Though truthfully, subconciously I was.

I had become aware of a teensy detail on the front of her bag that she had hung on the back of her chair so it was directly in front of me. A tiny keychain in the shape of a palm tree hanging from the zipper of the side compartment.

A sticker was stuck on the keychain which I guess had come as a souvenir from a certain concert.

A sticker which read Pink Orange Sunset.

♠♠♠

Pink Orange Sunset

At the start of the day
So you come out to play
Without a hint of dismay
A little dance and relay

And you love the sun
As much as you fear a tan
And curse at the use of a fan
Though it aids on your runs

And you love it's fire
As much as you hate it's heat
It fuels the ground of desire
Still too much hurts your feet

Now a highball of fire
On a midday crisis
On the peak and never tires
As her purpose entices

The sun tried her best
And all you did was complain
She had put up to the test
She had lived up the pain

And as soon as she had came
She fell down tamed
As you just watch in regret
To the pink orange sunset

•••

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