Hi friend.

It's been two days since Mae came back. I was waiting for her, she was in her room, she told me she'll come to my room so that we can sleep. Remember we sleep together? I know you do but I have to say it once in a while to remind myself that we are finally together. It's hard to believe still, okay? She's Mae.

I was waiting for her but she didn't come. I thought she forgot. So I went to her room and saw her sleeping, her back was facing me. So I went inside the sheets and back hugged her. I realized she wasn't sleeping so I turned her around and hugged her. Her face was buried in my chest.

She was crying and I didn't know why. But that didn't matter, what mattered was for her to let it all out. So I rubbed her and and whispered in her ear, 'you can cry all you want, I won't look at you.' Maybe that was something she needed to hear because she broke down the moment I completed the sentence.

I was startled at first, I didn't know why was she crying but the moment I hugged her, I knew she was as I saw her wiping her tears before I hugged her.

Do you know why it is important to let it out? Because she never really did. She never let her feelings out and she didn't even cry when she went for an abortion.

You know, she is the strongest person. Now that she cried she became stronger. Because it's the most difficult thing for her, she struggles with showing her emotions and watching her try is so beautiful. And it feels so good to know that I'm the one breaks her exterior to.

And maybe that's was makes us Human. How much we act like things doesn't matter until it does and sometimes all we can do is let it out.

You have no idea how much she cried last night. I didn't look at her face because she doesn't like it when people see her cry and I understand why. So I just hugged her as tightly as I could.

She came down a bit and I asked her if I could look and she nodded. I wiped her remaining tears and saw how red her eyes and nose were. She was having trouble breathing. After a few minutes passed, she relaxed.

And then I realized how unfair we men are when she told me what happened. 

She told me how helpless she felt and how she fucked her quiz because of some douchébags.

Let me tell you what happened, but if you're a man just... don't get encouraged by this. Please, I beg of you. Mae was terrified and so would any human be.

A night before the final round of their quiz, they sneaked out from the hostel room they were staying in to enjoy their win. They were four of them including Mae. After they came back from the club, heading off to the hotel they were staying in.

They realized they were being followed by a white car. The car soon passed from them, whistling and shouting from inside about how they look. They heard someone saying 'Let's go and grab a paper and give them our number'.

For a second they couldn't process, two of them were drunk while Mae and the other girl were carrying them and it was difficult to fight back. Soon the car came and stopped right in front of them.

There were two bulky men of above twenty-five in age, one of them was gonna hand a paper to one of the drunk girls, Mary, but Mae snatched it as she was drunk and she couldn't trust a stranger, he could possibly kidnap all of them and you know what happens next.

After they left, Mae and the other three ran to the hotel. When they reached there room, they stayed in the same room, and the two drunk girls slept while Mae and the other one couldn't. She told me they talked about the things that happened.

You know how she explained to me?
Did you ever read a book where the female protagonist is followed by the male protagonist in a dark creepy alley and kissed, except for the fact they didn't kiss and one of the was scared to death? It's usually in those 'stalker/obsessed' trope of yours.

I'm not criticizing the books, okay? I'm just saying that when it happens in real life you might shit your pants and it doesn't feel so hot because the man in front of you is a stranger no matter how good he'd be. And eve teasing is wrong. Don't do it. You won't get the girl like that. You'd never.

I'm so sick of creepy stuff being romanticized in young-adult books through aesthetic words and hot make-out sessions. I'm sick and I wasn't sick until something like that happened to someone I care about.

You have no idea how scared Mae was, she wasn't able to breathe when she told me everything. I was rubbing her back, I sneaked my hand inside her shirt to rub her bare back but she flinched. The only thing I could say was 'I'm sorry', It was quite inevitable that she was angry and scared with all the men including me, I know she wasn't mad at me, but for a fact that I am a man, her angry was quite clear, if you know what that means. I felt cursed for the fucking first time because of my gender and women feel so on a daily basis.

Imagine how cursed she'd have felt for the fact that she is a woman because someone or the other is always giving her unwanted, nasty attention. Brushing past her, touching her without consent, getting into her private space. Because when a woman steps out in the public, she becomes a public property.

Later, she told me that my hands were cold and that's why she flinched but I know it wasn't true. I just hugged her and told her how shit we men are and she has all the rights to be mad at them, we as men never really respected women. All we did is degrade them and make them feel unsafe around us. Not all of us but yes we have done it, one way or another.