Airports and a group of sleep-deprived, hungry, reckless idiots are things that don't go well together, and Alice In Chains' send-off more than proved that. Alex, Jo, Charlie, and all of Pearl Jam had insisted on coming along, though it seemed they were more interested in messing around and wasting money on random airport goods than actually saying goodbye to their friends. Alex was quick to find and sit in an available wheelchair, wheeling herself around for less than a minute before Sean took the handles and pushed her around the airport at top speed, narrowly avoiding crashing into people and potted plants. A random old woman threatened to call security on them after they very nearly ran over her luggage, and all they did was exchange tight-lipped looks before bursting into laughter and speeding away.

They eventually calmed down and abandoned the wheelchair, favoring pressing their faces against the large windows to look at the planes outside. Then Jo ran up yelling something about ice cream, and they raced each other to the café.

Dave bought six large cups of soda for himself, and Jeff and McCready both spent all of their cash on way too much chow mein. Eddie and Jo sat on a random conveyor belt as Stone stood by with his head in his hands, looking much like a tired father.

"I'm starting to think they don't actually care about saying goodbye to us," Mike said to Layne, who was about to climb over the glass barrier and join Eddie and Jo.

"Wait, that's what they're here for?"

The guys' flight was to depart at three in the morning, and after the initial few hours of misbehavior, they all began to feel sleepy and sat down to wait. Dave and Jeff actually nodded off, and, surprisingly, no one took the opportunity to mess with them. They just sat around with their arms crossed and they heads lowered and huffed through their noses whenever something amusing happened (e.g. some guy stepping on his own shoelace and tripping).

"Nobody take this the wrong way--how much longer do we have to wait here?" Jo asked.

"Not very, if you keep insulting us like that," Mike yawned.

"Yeah, don't worry. We'll be gone soon enough," Sean replied.

"That's not what she meant," Alex said, lazily lifting a hand and dropping it on Mike's arm in a very weak attempt at a smack.

"Sure it isn't..."

"I think it's time, actually," Jerry said, looking up at the clock on the wall behind them. "We should go now."

McCready stood up and stretched, shaking Dave awake and nudging Jeff's shoe with his boot. "Alright, this was nice. I'll see you guys in a few months. I'm fuckin' tired--"

"Goodbye, man," Mike interrupted, throwing his arms around McCready and heavily dropping his head to the guitarist's shoulder.

Everyone stared at the pair for a second before Layne cleared his throat and stood up. "Uh, yeah. I guess it's time for all the goodbyes."

Charlie stood up as well and gently pushed Layne away, moving to hug Sean instead. Realizing she meant for him to say goodbye to an unspoken someone else first, Layne turned to Alex and held his arms out with a goofy little grin that Alex suddenly realized she was going to seriously miss--more than she already did. She walked into his hold with a sad smile, hugging him back almost as tightly as Mike was still clinging to McCready.

"Be good on tour," she said to him in a quiet voice. "I better not see you making the news for fighting someone in the audience."

"You know I can't promise anything," Layne replied. He was so suddenly and tightly squeezed that he let out a little oof and took back what he said. "I'll be good," he grumbled when Alex let him go.

"You better be. And send something in the mail, alright? Getting mail is so much fun."

He chuckled and agreed. "I'll send a postcard from every city we visit. I'll have everyone write something on it."

Clearly delighted, Alex hugged him again, grabbing his face and kissing the side of his head. "Seriously, take care, okay? I swear to God if I hear anything about you doing something stupid..."

"I won't."

"Alright. And don't get too nervous about the crowds and all that. You're gonna kick ass."

"Thanks. Really. It's weird hearing encouragement from you," he laughed, "but somehow that makes it mean more. I'll see you in a few months, alright? Don't do stupid stuff without us."

"You know I can't promise anything. But I'll sure try not to. Go say goodbye to Charlie now."

Alex's goodbyes to Mike and Sean were more on the thank-God-you're-leaving-just-kidding-I-guess-I'll-kind-of-miss-you side. She also gave Stone a long and dramatic farewell, and though he had no idea what that was all about, he went along with it.

Mid-goodbye Alex felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Jo holding a candy bar out to her. "Sorry to interrupt your weird movie moment, but do you want this?"

"Hell yeah. Where'd you get it?"

"Jerry, he--"

"Shit, Jerry!" Alex had just wasted five whole minutes minutes saying an overly emotional goodbye to the wrong guitarist. "Uh, hold onto that, okay?" She patted her shoulder and moved past her in search of Jerry.

"Wow," Jo said to Stone. "Rest in peace."

"Thanks," he said, pretending to wipe away a tear and sniffing hard. He covered his nose with his hand as his eyes widened, exclaiming, "holy fuck, I put way too much feeling into that."

While Jo and Stone laughed about that, Alex found Jerry looking up at the clock again. She wasted no time hurrying up and throwing her arms around him. "I'll never forget you, my dearest love!"

"Alex? What are you--"

"Each night I'll sit by the window and long for you to be by my side, and...shit. I'm all out." Alex dropped her arms and backed away, letting Jerry turn around to face her.

"Oh, that's okay. I can keep it going." He took Alex's hands in his and said, "I'll think of you every second I'm away. I'll write songs about you and write you love letters that I won't mail for fear you won't return my feelings." He stopped to laugh, quickly shaking his head and apologizing for breaking character. But what to say next? "Uh...I'm not going far, and I won't be gone for long, but I'll still miss you more than should even be considered reasonable. I'll think of you every night in the hopes of seeing you if only in my dreams. That shouldn't be hard, you know, because I'm in love with you and I can't say I've thought of much else for quite some time."

Alex, who'd been staring just a little too deeply into his eyes, blinked and smiled. "Hey, that was really good!" She took her right hand back and shook his shoulder. "You should be an actor. You really had me going for a moment--it almost felt like you really meant all that. Ha, imagine if you did!"

"Yeah, that--that would be crazy."

"Anyway, I really will miss you." She put her hand back in his. "If I knew how to write songs, I'd write one about you. And coronavirus."

"Coronavirus?"

Alex shook her head. "Um, nothing. Just...call sometimes, alright?"

"For sure. You gotta let me know how all my children are doing."

"Isn't that a TV series?"

"Isn't what--"

"Never mind, I just remembered. It is." She zoned out for second as she remembered watching (ignoring might be more accurate) the show with Charlie.

"Hey, we gotta go now..."

"Shut up, Sean, you're ruining my moment!" Alex exclaimed.

"Your moment?" Jerry asked.

"Our moment!"

"And I'm sorry about that," Sean slowly began, pointing to the clock on the wall, "but we have to leave now unless we wanna get left behind."

"Alright, just give me one more second," Alex said. She took her hands out of Jerry's and once again hugged him tight. "I promise I'll never forget you!"

"And I'll never forget you!"

"You guys are so fucking dramatic," Jeff said, seeming to come from nowhere. He popped a chip into his mouth and offered the packet to Alex, who immediately let go of Jerry and fished out a chip.

"So much for never forgetting," Jerry said, but that itself was forgotten when Jeff held the bag of chips out to him.

Chips gone and goodbyes finished, the band waved at everyone and headed off to wherever the corridor behind the gate led. Pearl Jam and the girls awkwardly kicked around the airport for a while, loading up on snacks again before finally heading home at around seven a.m.

Not seeing them for a while is gonna suck.

✩✩✩

"How was the plane ride? What are you guys doing now? When's the first show? Have you talked to Dave Mustaine yet?"

"It was good, we're watching TV, the first show is tomorrow night, and we haven't seen him yet. How are things over there?"

Charlie looked around the living room and shrugged, realizing after a second that Layne couldn't see that. "Good, I guess. It's quiet without you and Jerry."

"You're finally in peace, huh?"

"You always do that!" Charlie laughed. "Yeah, Layne, I'm so happy you're gone," she said in a funny voice. "At last, I can just sit here and read."

"You already do that all the time."

"But now I can do it in silence."

"Alright, fine. I guess I won't be coming home when the tour ends. I'll just stay in the last city we play in."

"Miami," someone yelled in the background.

"Yeah. I'm moving to Miami. I'll also get Jerry to stay there with me so you can be in your quiet apartment forever--"

"The hell you will," Charlie heard Jerry say. "I left a can of alphabet soup in that apartment."

"Shit," Layne sighed, "I guess I'll just live in Florida by myself, then. I'll sleep in a swamp and wrestle alligators for sport."

"I was kidding!" Charlie finally said, finding it hard to speak through her laughter. "Please don't move to a swamp in Florida."

"Hm...I'll think about reconsidering. Anyway, you're coming to see the Seattle show, right?"

"You guys are playing Seattle?"

"Yeah, at the end of the month. I don't know if we'll have enough time to stop by the place, though."

"That's okay, there's nothing to see here. I'll come to the show for sure."

"Perfect. We'll figure out the, um...specifics...later. Is that the right word? Specifics? Is that even a word? Whatever--you know what I mean."

"Totally," Charlie said with a small giggle.

A short hum came through the line. "I love you."

"Awww!" Mike and Sean practically screamed in the background.

"Charlie, if you can hear me, I want you to know that I wasn't part of that," Jerry said in a loud voice. There was a pause. "Uh, I'm Jerry. In case you couldn't tell."

"Tell Jerry I heard him and that I appreciate that. And tell Mike and Sean to shut up. Also, I love you too." She heard Layne pass on her messages and smiled to herself, imagining the four of them goofing around in a tiny hotel room, complaining about said room the entire time.

"They said they won't. But anyway, what are you gonna read? Not Lord Of The Rings for the millionth time..."

"I'll have you know that I am not planning on reading that." Before Layne could express his surprise, she continued, "I'll be reading The Hobbit."

"That's the same thing!"

"What? No, it's not!"

"It is--Jerry, back me up here..."

They argued for a while before something tour-related came up and Layne and the guys had to go. Charlie put the phone down and stretched, looking around the empty living room for a moment before standing up to retrieve The Hobbit from its place in the back corner of the cabinet above the kitchen counter (long story).

Try as she did, she just couldn't seem to get comfortable. The couch was too cold and no amount of shifting around helped with the feeling of it being oddly empty. She'd grown used to having Layne sitting there with her in the evenings. And before Layne, it had been Alex...

Charlie put the book down, thinking she'd watch a little TV instead. She looked around for the remote but couldn't find it, eventually giving up and moving to press the button on the television. Terminator was the first thing to come on the screen.

"Son of a bitch," she cursed, quickly turning the TV off. Was nothing sacred?

The radio seemed to be her only friend now. It was proving to be a long evening. The sun was barely beginning to set, and it felt like she'd lived a week in the last hour.

What she needed was to do something calming, she thought, but she couldn't quite think what that might be. She wandered into the kitchen and to her and Layne's room, then back to the kitchen, then to living room again. A small red-and-white box sitting on the cluttered kitchen counter seemed to be calling to her, and with a small roll of the eyes she sighed and went to get it. Charlie didn't smoke nearly as often as her friends and had, in recent years, been cutting back on the habit as she realized how bad it could be for one's health. But she really felt she could use a cigarette right then. So, figuring she'd allow herself just that once, she picked up the pack and started looking around for a spare lighter.

✩✩✩

"Wait, you're actually going through with it?"

Alex knew from the beginning that Jo's stay at the apartment wouldn't be a long-term thing, but she was hardly prepared for her actual departure. She'd just come home from work and was about to start looking for something to eat when Jo'd burst in with the news that she would be moving in with Matt. And suddenly, she wasn't hungry anymore.

"Yup. I think the time is right and I have no doubts, so why not just do it, you know?"

"Well, I'm happy for you. I hope you have fun living with him."

Jo thought for a moment and said, "I hope he doesn't put the toilet paper the wrong way."

"Nah, he doesn't seem like the type."

They laughed and proceeded to discuss what exactly an identifier for that "type" would be. When the matter was settled (as much as it could be, anyway), Jo lowered her voice a little and asked, "are you gonna be okay here? You know...by yourself?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'll be fine."

"What about the rent? Because--"

"I got it totally covered."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course. You just worry about which side of the bed Matt sleeps on."

"Oh shit, you're right..."

Jo headed out to work a little while later. The sun was starting to sink, so Alex lit a cigarette and went to sit on the balcony to watch it.

✩✩✩

A cigarette turned out to be just what Charlie needed. At some point she moved to sit right outside the apartment, tucking herself into the corner of the railing and letting her head fall back against the iron bars. The door was open and the music coming from the radio she'd put on the floor just inside the apartment was drifting out, somehow creating a soothing mix when it mingled with the smoke dribbling from the end of Charlie's cigarette.

She took a long drag from the filter-tipped stick before reaching out to the radio to turn the volume up. Styx's Come Sail Away was just starting.

"I'm sailing away..."

"Way too depressing," Charlie sighed, reaching out again and turning the dial to the next station. Journey's I'll Be Alright Without You was about halfway through. Good enough.

The noise of some kids kicking a ball around the courtyard below caught her attention, and she laughed to herself as she remembered the similar games she'd played with her friends in high school. She and Andy were the most competitive; they'd often argue for long after their games while Alex and Stone sat nearby discussing music over a smoke. She looked away, not wanting to think about Andy. Or Alex.

It seemed getting away from such thoughts wasn't going to be that easy. Her sights were now on the sinking sun, and she couldn't help a little more reminiscing; she and Alex had always loved watching sunsets together.

Journey's song ended, and the exact same Styx song she'd just tuned off started up next. She rolled her eyes and let it play, figuring she should listen to it if the universe really wanted her to.

"I look to the sea...Reflections in the waves spark my memory...Some happy, some sad...I think of childhood friends, and the dreams we had..."

Charlie looked back at the kids playing downstairs, shaking her head as she finally let her mind run free. She and her friends had always loved to talk about their dreams, and they had all been so sure that they would achieve them one day. None of them had done that so far.

"We lived happily forever, so the story goes...But somehow we missed out on the pot of gold...But we'll try best that we can, to carry on..."

"Alright, I think I get it," Charlie said in a low voice, once again putting a hand out to find a new station. A song she didn't get enough time to recognize was fading out, and a second later she heard a familiar opening chord and guitar lick. "Oh, give me a fucking break." She knew Don't Let Me Down Alex's favorite. But she loved The Beatles too much to change the station, so she took a deep breath and focused on John Lennon's voice instead of memories of her ex-friend.

I was right, she thought as she watched the sun disappear and listened to the voice calling for the children to head inside for dinner, the cigarette helped.

✩✩✩

"God, this song is fucking depressing," Alex said to herself as she lit her second cigarette of the evening. Styx's Come Sail Away was playing on the radio inside the apartment. She sighed and got up to bring it outside, sitting back down and carefully rotating the dial. Ah--Journey. Perfect. She set the radio on the balcony floor and turned to look at the sunset again, trying to feel at peace. The music was helping.

Until that fucking piano came right back on. "Didn't I just--"

"I'm sailing away..."

"Oh, yeah? I wish I could do that," Alex huffed, deciding to let the song play. The sweet music soon got to her, and her mind began to paint pretty vivid pictures as she sat there listening to it. She remembered her friends joining her in doing all the stupid things kids do for fun, then the times they'd be serious and talk for hours about everything there was to talk about. She thought about the times they laughed and the times they cried, and when a bird landed on the balcony railing in front of her she blinked and realized a tear was staining her cheek.

"Shit. Fuck off," she said to the bird, forgetting for a moment that it didn't speak English, or even care about what it was seeing. Alex wiped her cheek with the back of her hand and snatched the radio up to tune it again. And it seemed that had been the perfect choice; her favorite song was on.

"I'm in love for the first time...don't you know it's gonna last?"

"That's what I used to think," Alex whispered, shifting in her seat to watch the bird as it spread its wings and flew away.

That sunset was one of the most beautiful Alex had ever seen. The horizon was left an orange strip fading into the indigo sky dotted with twinkling stars and fluffy pink clouds painted over them. She knew a certain ex-friend of hers would love it, and she couldn't help but think that it just wasn't the same without her.

✩✩✩

this chapter is brought to you by quarantine-induced emo hours. how's everyone holding up?
i'm going back to writing...so until next time! please remember to be SAFE, drink plenty of water, try to have fun, listen to good music, be what you wanna be, and stay sober for Layne <3