"No, we're not together. Nope. We're here as two separate parties. I'll pay for my ticket in."

"Wait, no, I'm paying for both of us. We're together; we're just having ourselves a little spat."

"I don't even know this man--"

"Look, someone just pay me and you can both go inside and sort your issues out in there. There's a line, you know."

Alex rolled her eyes and started to reach into her pocket for the money, but Andy was faster. He practically threw the cash at the bouncer, who rolled his eyes and gestured for them to go in.

"I hate you," Alex said. "That is exactly why we're not together."

"Come on, stop being like that! We are together. I said I was sorry, didn't I?"

"Oh, that's right. Because saying you're sorry is all it's gonna take for me to forgive you. Wow, I can't believe it was that easy!"

Andy sighed and pulled a chair out for her at their usual table. She rolled her eyes but sat, crossing her arms and looking up at the stage. "Okay, then," Andy said. "What is it gonna take for you to forgive me?"

Alex looked across the table at him and scoffed. "Figure it out yourself."

The performing band took the stage right as Andy was about to say something else. He sighed and turned his attention to the front of the room, unable to appreciate the Led Zeppelin cover being played.

✩✩✩

"Can you not--CAN YOU NOT DO THAT IN HERE? I'M TRYING TO THINK! JESUS CHRIST!"

Jeff and Stone looked up from the piece of metal they were trying to hammer into a ring and rolled their eyes almost simultaneously. "Okay, mom," Jeff said.

Alex glared at him. "I'm sorry, I just didn't expect to have a pair of absolute children doing fun experiments with heavy tools in my living room while I'm busy trying to have an existential crisis."

"Okay, first of all, this isn't a fun experiment. It's work. And second, you're constantly having an existential crisis. You should be used to things intruding on it by now," Jeff said, putting the hammer down.

"He has a point," Stone piped up. "But the crisis is more intense than usual right now. How come?"

"Like I'm gonna tell you," Alex said. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm going to the store. Keep working on your...project."

The slightly chilly April breeze taunted Alex by making her fail to light her lucky cigarette as she walked to the store. That sure didn't help the irritated mood she was in. She went to toss the lighter into a nearby trashcan but hesitated when she remembered that this was her special lighter; her Alex-and-Charlie-forever, pretty-shade-of-pink, given-to-her-by-her-best-friend lighter. Does it matter? It's not like we're best friends anymore. Or even friends at all. She was about to throw it away when she stopped and realized that there was absolutely no way in hell she could go through with it. Annoyed at her inability to let go of the past, she finally got her cigarette lit and jammed the pink lighter in her pocket.

Her inability to let go of the past. Alex looked up and down the street and crossed, walking through the cloud of smoke from her cigarette a second after she'd breathed it out. Her inability to let go of the past.

She missed Andy. A lot. And she couldn't believe she'd gone and kissed someone else--just like she'd said she never would. She'd promised Andy, in fact. He might not have heard her make said promise, but that didn't matter. She'd intended to keep it.

"Hey," she said to herself, lowering her cigarette, "I didn't actually break my promise. If I remember correctly, I said I'd never fall in love with anybody else. And I'm not in love with anybody else. So I didn't do anything wrong." She reached the end of that block and stood at the crosswalk for a moment, putting the cig back in her mouth. "Then why do I feel like I seriously fucked up?"

She went back home with a carton of cigarettes, a new lighter, and even more confusion than before. The only thing she realized during that trip was that she talked to herself more than she thought the average person probably should, and that wasn't really relevant.

✩✩✩

Recording an album was stressful business, and Ten was no exception. The guys seemed to absolutely hate each other at times. They usually went home tired and annoyed and wanting to smash an instrument, and it was a wonder they didn't actually do it during the sessions.

Stone's house somehow remained relatively peaceful, and Alex found herself spending more time than usual there. She hadn't seen Jerry in over a week, and she hadn't told anyone about what had happened. That was for the best, right? Keeping secrets and expecting to be able to deal with everything alone was the way to go, right? Right?

It was a good thing distractions seemed to make themselves extremely available. She was particularly fond of going over to Stone's and helping Eddie work on the radio he was building. Neither of them really knew what they were doing, and they both suffered a lot of minor electric shocks and very nearly set themselves on fire a few times. But nothing actually caught fire! they were quick to say when someone questioned the safety of them working on it in the house. Anyway, all hazards aside, it was great fun. They got a little closer to finishing it every time they made such mistakes.

Alex rushed to the house on a fine Friday afternoon carrying three boxes of pizza and two bottles of soda carefully balanced on top of them. She was being more impatient than ever because she had the final missing piece of the radio in her pocket and couldn't wait to see if it was going to work.

"That took you long enough," she grouched when Eddie opened the door for her. She shifted the boxes to her left hand (nearly dropping the soda as she did) and dug into her flannel's pocket with her right, producing a roll of copper wire and tossing it to Eddie as she headed toward the kitchen. "There. Now we can finish the radio. Where is everybody? I didn't bring this all here for nothing, did I?"

"No, you didn't--Jeff's bike lost a tire again and they took it to get fixed. It was honestly a two-person thing...but I think they just didn't want to be here when we set the house on fire for real."

"As if that would ever happen," Alex replied, putting the pizza boxes down and opening the top one to take a slice. "We're master engineers. Now come on, let's go put that wire in already!"

Hearing the radio work for the first time was one of the most gratifying things Alex had ever experienced. It took a while to get it to a proper station, and when a voice came out of the speaker she and Eddie rejoiced.

"I have no idea what show that is, but I love it!" Alex said, excitedly shaking Eddie's shoulder.

"Yeah, listen! You can actually hear every word."

The guy on the radio was saying something about a contest. "...call in and answer correctly, and you win a prize! Okay, everybody ready? Finish this lyric: 'I go to parties, sometimes until four.' Got that? Now give us your best shots and see if you win!"

Alex immediately hummed the next line, laughing to herself as she wondered if anyone would get that wrong. Eddie voiced that exact thought and they went back to listening to the show.

And then the first caller came in. They were wrong. And so was the second caller, and the third. Alex and Eddie couldn't even believe it.

"Why call in if you don't know the lyrics?"

"I don't know. I could call them right now and give them the right answer," Alex huffed.

"Why don't you? Just get the phone and wait until they announce the number again," Eddie suggested with a shrug. "I think they're about to say it again."

He was right. The number was repeated out and Alex scrambled to get the phone and dial.

"It's hard to leave when..." Alex began once prompted by the radio guy.

"...you can't find the door," Eddie finished, leaning in close to Alex amd the phone.

"Ya hear that?" The radio guy said. "We have our winners!"

"Wait, really?" Alex asked. She and Eddie automatically fist-bumped in victory.

"Yes, really! Can I get your names?"

"Alex Kinney and Eddie Vedder," Alex blurted before Eddie could say anything.

What if I wanted to say my name? Eddie mouthed. Alex put a hand on his face and pushed him away.

"Well, congratulations, Alex Kinney and Eddie Vedder! You just won a trip to Enchanted Parks!"

"Enchanted Parks?" Alex echoed. She'd thought the prize was going to be something lame, like simply getting their names said on the radio.

"I thought the prize would be a toaster that doesn't actually work," Eddie whispered.

"Yeah, me too," Alex whispered back.

"All you have to do is come down to our office and we'll hook you guys up with everything you need for the weekend."

They looked at each other for a moment. "We got nothing better to do..." Eddie said, trailing off. Alex nodded and they both shrugged.

"Where's your office?"

✩✩✩

"I can't believe we're actually here," Alex said less than a full day later. She and Eddie were standing right outside the theme park they'd won the tickets to.

"All thanks to our radio," Eddie said, staring up at the sign above the entrance.

"Crazy, isn't it? Come on, let's go in!" Alex took hold of Eddie's elbow and marched in.

They spent the day going on all the rides at Wild Waves, deciding to leave The Enchanted Village for the next day. They dared each other to go on all the scariest rides and to try to win the biggest prizes by playing the hardest games. Each tried their best to outdo the other, and not a single dull second went by.

One would think they'd be exhausted by the time they got to the inn they were supposed to be staying at, but no; if anything, getting there only energized them. They hadn't really looked around the room before and if there was anything that would excite Alex to no end, it was fancy boarding.

"They have vending machines in every hallway!" Alex zoomed back into the room right as Eddie was leaving the bathroom after a shower. "Oh, did you see the tiny shampoo bottles? Aren't they cute? Also, I call the bed by the window!"

"Aw, shit." Eddie sat at the edge of the bed closer to the door, leaning back after a second and spreading his arms, moving them up and down as if he was making a snow angel. "I wanted that one, dammit, I knew I should've called it sooner. And yeah, I saw them. They're nice."

Alex laughed and moved to sit on the bed she'd chosen, overjoyed at the thought of a real bed with such a nice mattress and soft sheets. "There are more pillows on this bed than I even know what to do with. This is heaven."

"And look." Eddie moved to the middle of his bed and propped himself up on his elbow. He shook the remote and pointed it at the TV. "We get the movie channels! The Burning, Ghost, or Die Hard?"

"The Burning!"

"Man, that movie's fucking creepy. I should've known you'd pick that. I should've just put Die Hard."

"It's not that creepy," Alex said, rolling her eyes. She got up to stand at the head of his bed. "You want me to hug you while we watch it so you don't get scared?"

He pulled his elbow in and let himself fall back so he could look up at her, blinking wide eyes and momentarily looking more innocent than Alex ever would've imagined he could've. "If you wanna."

Alex blinked and started to put on a smirk but stopped and shook her head. "Wait, no. Excuse you, I am a lady."

"Yeah, sure you are," he said with an amused huff. "Alright, you stay on your bed and I'll stay on mine and we'll watch this stupid movie like the refined people we are."

"Sounds good to me," Alex replied, sitting down on the other bed.

Truth be told, Alex had never paid much attention whenever The Burning was on, and it was a little scarier than she remembered it being. She found herself hugging a pillow as she watched, reminding herself that it was only a movie and that there was nothing to be afraid of.

She could tell herself that all she wanted, but she would never be immune to jump scares, and a particularly big one caused her to gasp and throw the pillow aside and cover her face with her hands. She felt the bed's side dip and looked through her fingers to see Eddie sitting next to her with a cheeky smile on his face.

"Want me to hug you so you don't get scared?"

Alex knew he was kidding, but she grabbed his arm and yanked him close to her, worming into his hold and looking up at the screen. She was met with an ugly sight that made her regret looking; she squirmed and grabbed a fistful of Eddie's shirt, covering her face with it. "That's so creepy, oh my God! How are you being so calm--are you not scared?"

Eddie looked down at her practically trembling form, realizing he was smiling after a second. She looked at him and he realized he hadn't answered her question. His eyes flickered to the screen, then back at her, and he opened his mouth to respond but found that he couldn't. Shit, say something! Fast! "Uh, y'know, I, um..." Wow, way to go. Very smooth. "Nah," he finally said in a lame voice.

Alex let go of his shirt. "I bet you are."

Once again failing to speak, Eddie shook his head and pointed up at the screen to get Alex's attention off him. Man, that was...sad. Next time I'll just pick Die Hard and I won't look like a complete idiot.

"There's a movie I'm never gonna watch again," Alex said when it was over. "Sorry I picked it," she sheepishly added. "Let's watch another one so we don't get nightmares."

They ended up watching a documentary on bees. That wasn't particularly riveting, and Alex soon found herself drifting off. Eddie was still beside her, and when she was much more asleep than awake she shifted even closer to him, putting her arm around his torso and settling herself into his side.

He should move away. He didn't really want to, but he felt he had to--before she woke back up and felt how fast his heart was now beating. He pulled away just the slightest bit, going very slowly so as to not disturb and wake her.

That didn't work. She followed, keeping her arm around him. And if that wasn't already enough, she moved to lay her head on his chest, her ear resting right over his heart. He briefly considered simply waking her up, but he knew he couldn't do that. So he took a deep breath in the hopes of calming down enough for his heart to slow, hugged her close, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere, Alex."

✩✩✩

"Oh shit. Oh no. I don't wanna do this anymore. Is it too late to get off this thing?"

"Yeah, I think so. That's why you should've actually thought about it when I told you it was gonna be scary."

"First the movie, and now this. I should really start listening to you, huh?" 

Alex had always been a fan of thrill rides, but she hadn't been on one in years. The decision to get on this one had been made on an impulse and she was starting to regret it. The ride started up with a whir and Alex's heart seemed ready to burst.

"I'm about to have a heart attack. Shit, I'm already having it. I'm just gonna jump out, fuck it--"

"Whoa, hey, calm down. You're not having a heart attack and you are not gonna jump out."

"How are you so calm?" Alex turned to Eddie, her eyes wide with terror. The ride jolted and they started slowly moving. Alex let out a tiny squeak and turned and put both arms around Eddie, clinging to him like it was life or death. "I've literally never been this scared in my life! Aren't you even a little afraid?"

The ride was starting to speed up, and that was good, because it gave him a good excuse as to why his own heart was also beginning to pound. "Yeah," he said, gulping as he hugged her back and met her anxious look with one of  slight bewilderment. "R-Really...fucking...scared."

✩✩✩

Their bus took a while to get back to Seattle; it seemed everyone who lived in the city had been at the theme park that weekend and were now rushing to get home in time to catch Seinfeld. It was a good thing Alex and Eddie were in no rush and were perfectly content to watch the sky and the people in the cars on the streets as they went by and off to their own lives.

They got to Stone's house and stood around outside for a moment before Alex decided she'd better get home soon. She thanked Eddie for a good time, said goodnight, and was off.

Yup, Eddie thought as he looked down at the radio on the floor of his room, I'm fucked.

Alex got home to an empty apartment, figuring Jo was out with Matt. She made herself a pot of hot chocolate and went out to the balcony to enjoy it. For a moment there she found herself wishing Charlie was there, but she shook the feeling off and tried to think about something else. Unfortunately, Fleetwood Mac's Landslide came on the radio, and the only other topic her mind could find was Andy.

✩

"So...am I forgiven?" he asked in a cautious tone.

"I'd say so," she replied, giving him a warm little smile. He grinned back and opened his arms, feeling nothing but pure delight when she walked into them.

"Thank you," he sighed into her shoulder. "I can't imagine what it'd be like if we actually broke up. I swear I won't fuck up like that again, just...please don't ever leave me."

"I can't picture it either, to be honest. But you have to know I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna love you forever."

✩

"Hey, Andy. It's just me right now. Everyone went to the cafeteria so I could--so I could have a moment alone with you. I'm pretty sure you can't hear me, but I'm gonna talk to you anyway. You always seemed to remember shit you heard in your sleep...and God, you slept a lot. Why the hell were you always so tired?" Alex stopped and let out a weak chuckle that turned into a choked sob. She sniffed and continued, "I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to be saying to you. There is so much I would like to tell you with you actually awake and listening. I'd like to tell you that I love you so, so, so much, and that I have no idea what the fuck I'm supposed to do without you. It's like you're already gone...they're actually just waiting...just waiting f-for..." Alex stopped and let her head down for a moment, unable to continue speaking until she let go of a shuddering breath and gasped in another. "Chris. He's gotta say goodbye to you too. And then...and then that's it."

Alex moved to push a few stray hairs out of Andy's eyes. "I don't know how to live without you," she whispered.

The clock on the wall ticked with the seconds; it served as Alex's only reminder that time was still passing. She wiped her eyes to rid them of the tears there, but those were soon replaced.

"Remember when you'd wake up because I was talking to you while you slept? I'd be all 'jeez, if you spent as much time working as you do sleeping, you'd be rich,' and you'd scare the living shit out of me by responding with some shit like 'well, if I had a dollar for every time you complained about how much I sleep, I'd be even richer.' I was never actually thinking about how time is money; I was just thinking about all the time we could spend together if you'd just wake up. And I'm still thinking that now...please, please, wake up, Andy. I won't mind if you scare me when you do. And I won't mind if you spend all your time sleeping when you get home. Just please wake up now." Alex knew he was never going to wake up, but she couldn't help pleading with him to open his eyes and stay with her.

"Hey, do you remember that stupid Fleetwood Mac song you really liked? Landslide? And remember how you'd make me sing it with you even though I always said I hated it? Well...I don't hate it. And I would give anything to sing it with you again. Anything."

She hid her face in her hands as she tried to stop shaking. She finally calmed down enough to speak again, and she began: "Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I've built my life around you...but time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I'm getting older too..."

She sniffed and shook her head. "It's weird that I actually mean those words...and do you remember what I'd make you sing with me after we'd finished Landslide?" Alex took a gentle hold of his hand and sang, "don't let me down..."

She realized everyone would probably be coming back soon. "I don't want to live without you, Andy. I can't. I actually think I'm dying right now, which is just...just perfect. I don't want to live the rest of my life if you're not in it. I honestly don't see the point. I'm never gonna stop loving you or move on. I'm never gonna forget you. And I'm never gonna be able to love anyone else."

Alex thought about that for a moment. "Remember that first really big fight? I barely even know it was about anymore. But I do remember what we said after it...you asked me to never leave you, and I told you that I wasn't going anywhere. And look at us now: I'm begging you not to leave me and I'm still saying I'll be here forever." She looked up at the clock and tried to take a steady breath. "I promise I'll never stop loving you. I promise I'll always be here for you. I'll sing your favorite songs and I'll sleep more than any normal human being should. I promise I'll never love anyone the way I love you."

She heard footsteps in the hall and figured everyone was coming back. "The sun will never shine again. Not in my world. Not without you." Time was up. "Goodnight, Andy. Sleep well this time, so you don't have to nap again so soon."

✩

Alex felt a tear sliding down her cheek and quickly wiped it off, looking down at her cup of chocolate before downing what was left of the liquid. She thought of the promises she'd made, then of all the feelings that just wouldn't leave her alone. Her stomach sank at the thought of betraying Andy, even though according to her she hadn't actually done anything to break said promises.

Guilt is a strange thing.

✩✩✩

"But how can you? Don't you know how bad that is?"

"Hey, I only did it once. I won't do it again, alright?"

"Yeah, you say that now. That stuff's addictive!"

"But I'm not addicted!"

"Yet!"

"Why would you--"

"Alright, I take that back. I'm sorry. I just...I hate the thought of someone I care about on drugs."

"It's a good thing I'm not on drugs, then. Come on, lighten up. It was only once and it honestly sucked. It burned my nose and it made me act like a dumbass."

"That's not exactly unusual for you..."

"Aw, that's...yeah, you have a point. Anyway, I'm sorry I did it. And I'm sorry you found out about it the way you did."

"It's okay, I guess I might've over--"

"Hey Charlie, Terminator's on. He's about to walk into the bar if you wanna come watch."

Charlie turned to see Alex standing behind her and Layne. Dave had taken the trash out just a minute before--he'd hit Layne's head with one of the bags. Couldn't a girl just have a serious discussion with her boyfriend in peace? "I'm in the middle of something, Alex."

"Oh, sorry. I just thought that since it's your favorite--"

"Yeah, okay, thanks. I'll go inside in a little while. Is that it?"

"Is what it?"

"I mean is that all you wanted to say?" All Charlie wanted to do was finish what she was saying to Layne. She just needed a minute. Literally one minute. If Alex could just...

She saw Alex's face fall. She wanted to say something else, but she didn't get the chance because Alex blinked and walked back inside, clearly unhappy with that exchange.

"We can go inside if you want," Layne said, staring at the ground for a moment.

"Uh, in a second. Like I was saying, I guess I overreacted. And I acted like a total mom--or at least a controlling girlfriend. I'm sorry."

"You really don't have to apologize. You were just looking out for me...thanks, Charlie."

"Don't thank me," Charlie replied, ruffling his hair. "Thank your own dummy self for being so darn lovable. I can't even try to stay mad at you."

"Says the one who says 'darn,'" Layne said with a chuckle.

"Hey, I have class!"

"Oh, yeah, sure. You have class." Layne picked up one end of Charlie's flannel, tapping the empty space where there should've been a button.

"That's not my fault! I can't help it if I live a fast and dangerous life!"

"You? Fast and dangerous?" Layne burst into full-on laughter and Charlie couldn't help but crack up as well. He wrapped his arms around the mess of giggles next to him as he tried to stop and catch his breath. "Damn, that was funny. I love you."

Charlie felt her face start to burn and she quickly buried it in Layne's shoulder to hide it. "I love you too," she said, her voice muffled.

Layne blinked. He loosened his hold and leaned back to get a good look at Charlie's face. "I-I really meant that. I actually love you. Like, for real."

Charlie blushed even more, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt. "I actually love you too. For real."

They went back inside a couple of minutes later. Charlie automatically went to sit by Alex's side, her happiness clouding her memory and making her forget their earlier exchange. She tapped Alex's arm and asked, "did we miss anything important?"

"I don't know," Alex replied in a harsh tone. She gestured to Chris, who looked at Charlie with a funny little half-smile. "Why don't you watch the movie for two seconds and figure it out?"

Charlie raised her eyebrows and leaned away from Alex."Oh, I--sorry, I was just..."

"Yeah, whatever." Alex turned away, whispering something to Chris that Charlie didn't catch.

Charlie looked helplessly at Layne, and he said, "I think you might've made her mad."

"You think?"

He held his hands up and shook his head. "Never mind. Let's just watch the movie."

Charlie agreed, but it's safe to say she didn't even pay attention to her favorite movie.

Guilt is a strange thing.

✩

Layne and Jerry quickly came to find that Charlie was a very good roommate. She didn't add to the messes they made, she was always fun to be around, and she had the same music taste as they did, so she never asked them to turn it down or change it. Charlie herself was already pretty much used to living there, because she'd been spending a ton of time there even before she'd moved out of her old apartment.

She couldn't help but miss Alex, though. She still talked to Jo and they sometimes hung out after work, but she'd had absolutely no contact with her former best friend. It felt strange. They'd been inseparable since middle school and had lived together for what felt like forever, and while she did love the AIC house, she sometimes wanted to go back to Alex and the apartment.

The reason for their fight still wasn't all that clear to her. She knew she'd been a little short at her birthday party, but she didn't think it reason enough for everything that had followed. Sure, they'd both fed the fight and been less than quick to try to talk it out, but had it all been because of the way Charlie had snapped at Alex? Because she actually had a pretty good reason for that...

✩✩✩

ARE YOU HAPPY? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? WELL, I DELIVERED. I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED.
okay, that's harsh. i'm sorry :)
also, i changed Alex's faceclaim! it's a bit late in the story but i found someone i think perfectly fits my original vision of Alex. that's her in the pic at the top. i hope you all like her :')

alright, please remember to stay hydrated, be safe, have fun, listen to good music, be what you wanna be, and stay sober for Layne! until next time...