"You know what's really weird?"

"What?"

"Paper towels. They just come in rolls and, like, clean stuff..."

✩✩✩

"So, what's it like having a boyfriend?" Alex asked Jo for what had to be the millionth time.

"He's not my boyfriend," Jo replied, "we're just going on a date!"

"That's so cute. Jo has a boyfriend," Charlie said.

"Oh, yeah?" Alex turned to face her, crossing her arms. "How's your love-muffin Layne?"

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"Yet. And that goes for both of you."

"You're just jealous," Charlie absently mumbled, pulling at a loose thread on her shirt.

Alex blinked, shaking her head after a second and flopping down onto the couch. "You wish, Shepherd. So, Jo, what time are you leaving?"

"Two and a half hours. Please tell me you plan to go out and won't be around at that time."

"Why, you worried I'm gonna embarrass you?"

"Uh, yeah! You're gonna be like, 'hey Matt, you here for your girlfriend?' or something like that. And he's gonna have to be all, 'she's not my girlfriend,' and then it'll be awkward."

"More awkward than this?"

"No, this isn't awkward. It's making me want to slap you, but it's not awkward."

Alex nodded as if to say reasonable. She lazily rolled her head to face Charlie. "Seriously, what's up with Layne?"

"Nothing. What's up with, uh...fuck, who do you even like?"

"That ain't your business. Alright, I'm heading out. You guys want anything?"

"For you to stay out there," Jo said.

"Uh, me too. And to be loved," Charlie replied.

"Yeah, and I want a new car and a big house and happiness. I also want world peace and someone to love. Am I gonna get any of those things? No, I'm not. I meant something from the store, you scraps of fabric. I found ten bucks on the street yesterday."

"Oh, a soda would be nice," Jo said.

"More noodles," Charlie replied.

"You got it. In case I don't come back in the next two and a half hours, Charlie, ask Matt if he's here for his girlfriend."

"If she's not out with her own boyfriend, that is," Jo grumbled, and Alex laughed and agreed before leaving the apartment.

Alex really hoped she'd remember to go to the store on the way back to the apartment, because she wasn't actually headed there. She was going to Joey's, but she didn't dare tell her friends that, because then they'd get all worried and tell her not to go.

"Alex, how are you? Are you here alone?" Joey questioned when he saw her taking a seat at the bar.

"Good, and yeah, it's just me. Can we still smoke in here or have you changed the rules?"

"No, go ahead. Where are your friends?"

"At home."

"Do they know you're here?" He set a drink down in front of her.

"Nope." She stirred it and watched the ice in it move before taking a long drink.

"Why not?"

"Aw, come on, Joey. Am I gonna have a drink or am I gonna get interrogated?"

"Both. Why didn't you tell 'em you were coming here?"

"Because they're not my parents. And even if they were, I'm old enough to go out on my own."

Joey made a sour face and shook his head. "Of course you are, or you wouldn't even be allowed in here. I'm just lookin' out for you, kiddo. You should take better care of yourself."

"This is my self-care right here. I worked all week and this is my reward."

"I don't know why I never just kick you out," Joey grumbled. He shook his head again and changed the subject. "Do you still talk to the boys in Alice In Chains?"

"Yeah, we're real close. Why?"

"One of them just walked in here."

Alex looked toward the door so fast she got lightheaded. "Oh yeah, that's Layne." She raised a hand and waved him over when he spotted her.

"The singer, aren't you?" Joey held a beer out to him.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks." Layne took it and sat on the stool next to Alex's. "No band in here today?"

"No, not tonight. Tomorrow." He nodded to himself and took a deep breath. "Well, I'm gonna go out for my break. Maybe I'll see you when I come back, and if I don't, that's even better," he said to Alex. She laughed and threw a tiny piece of ice at him as he turned to walked out from behind the bar.

"Everyone keeps saying they don't wanna see me. Maybe I got a bad energy or something," she said as she wiped her fingers on her pants.

"No you don't," Layne replied, tipping his head back and taking a drink of his beer. "Who else doesn't wanna see you?"

"Jo and your girlfriend Charlie. Anyway, what are you doing here by yourself?"

"She's not my girlfriend. And I'm not alone. You're here, aren't you?"

"I would argue with you because that doesn't even make sense, but I don't have the spirit. And what do you mean she's not your girlfriend? You guys spend all this time together and then she comes home all happy and looking like a lovestruck baby deer or something..."

He hesitated. "Aren't you from Chicago? Because I feel like you have to be from Kentucky or someplace like that to be able to make that kind of comparison."

Alex snickered and took a cigarette from the pack in her pocket, remembering she'd meant to do so earlier. She lit it and took an excessively long drag from it, assuming a haughty pose as she put on an irritated expression and finally replied right as Layne was raising his bottle to his lips for another sip. "What, you think I don't know about huntin' just 'cause I'm from the city? We used to drive up to the woods and shoot them wild deers for sport, me n' my pa. And we'd bring the biggest one to my mama and hope she cooked it before my good ole brother got a hold of it, 'cause he was one dirty motherfucker..." Layne put his beer down and slapped a hand over his mouth to keep from spitting any of it out, his eyes widening as all the air in his lungs escaped through his nose. Alex nearly dropped her cigarette as she patted his back and broke into laughter as well. "I was kidding, don't die on me now!"

He shook his head with his mouth still full of beer, gulping it down only after the threat of choking was gone. He tried to say what the fuck but ended up being unable to and dissolving into laughter again.

"Man, I'm sorry. I didn't do any of that, my dad wasn't even around and I sure as hell don't have a brother," Alex said, at which they both laughed even harder.

"Good, because your brother in that little story didn't come off too great."

"I know, right? And what the fuck were we talking about before that led to that?"

"Uh...Charlie. You compared her to a baby deer or something like that."

"A fawn."

"If you say so. Anyway, I don't even know what you're talking about..."

"Like hell you don't. Come on, let's talk."

✩✩✩

"...and I said 'I love you,' and the universe said it back."

✩✩✩

"So you're actually gonna do it? You're gonna ask her on a real, official date?"

"I might not if you keep making it seem like some huge deal. You're scarin' me, Alex."

"I'm her best friend, that's my job." Alex put her hand on Layne's shoulder. They were standing at the bottom of the stairs that led up to the girls' apartment. They'd been standing there for a few minutes now as Layne asked Alex what she thought Charlie would say.

"Sure. Well, I guess I should just do it, huh? Um, are you..."

"I'm not gonna come up. I'll just go to your house, alright? I'll see you later. Good luck. Not that you need it."

"Oh, okay. I don't know if anyone's there, so just...don't set the place on fire. And thanks," he replied, giving her his almost signature half-smile. She nodded and gestured for him to hurry up those stairs before starting off for the AIC house. That hadn't been something she was planning to do, but that was okay; it wasn't like she'd had an actual plan anyway. So she hurried along up the street and managed to make it in under twenty minutes.

The polite thing to do was knock, of course, so she did just that and stood back to wait and see if anyone opened up. And she was right to, because a second later the door was opened by whom was revealed to be a certain blond guitarist.

"Hey, chicken legs. Do you ever leave the house?"

Jerry backed up as if he'd just been pushed. "Jesus Christ, I don't even know what to answer first. Um, hey Alex, it's nice to see you. I'm doing great, and my day has been great, thanks so very much for asking. I wasn't aware of my being built like a chicken, but thank you for pointing that out. And I appreciate your concern but I do leave the house sometimes."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Alex laughed. "Well, that's all good to hear. And you're not built like a chicken. You just look really skinny when you wear those pants."

"Alright, next time you wear something that makes you look real skinny, I'll...probably pay you a compliment, 'cause you are a beautiful and well-proportioned young lady. You can come in, by the way."

"For your sake I'm gonna pretend that wasn't weird. So what are you doing?" Alex asked as she stepped in and closed the door behind her, following him into the living room.

"Uh, watching TV. Did you need something or are you just here to hang out?"

"Just here to hang out. Be more obvious about wanting me gone next time, why don't you?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Jerry laughed, patting the spot on the couch next to him. "And in that case, come watch this weird shit with me. It's some kind of nature movie about rats."

"Aw, they made a documentary about you!" Alex said almost automatically. She expected a sharp comeback, but didn't get one.

"I know, isn't it cool? Finally, some recognition."

The screen changed to show a beige rat sniffing a cigarette butt.

"Yeah, look, they got you on camera!"

"Alex, I swear to God--"

✩✩✩

"It's funny, you know. I feel I'm on a constant power trip, and the thing is: I don't actually have any power."

✩✩✩

"Hey, Alex, the single's all done and it's being released tomorrow. You wanna come over and hear it beforehand?"

"Yeah, for sure. What's it called, again?"

"Hunger Strike."

"That sounds...depressing. I'll be there in a minute, then. Can I bring Jo? And Charlie and her new boyfriend?"

"You mean Layne?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well yeah, of course. But wait--they're actually dating now?"

"Yup. I'll tell you about that in person. I gotta go now 'cause my phone time's up. See you in a bit."

"See you."

Alex hung the phone up and dashed up the stairs, throwing the door open and barreling into her apartment, causing Charlie to jump and making Layne put a hand over his heart. Jo, the absolute robot, didn't react. "Guys, we're going to Stone's house! The first single off that album they're making is coming out tomorrow but Stone says we can go hear it now."

"Oh, really? Finally! All that you can't hear it 'til it's ready stuff was starting to get old," Charlie said. "Alright, let's get going before Alex gets impatient and starts threatening to kill us."

"You wouldn't," Layne said to Alex.

Alex looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I'd get you first, I'll tell you that for sure. But for real, let's go. Or I will do it, and I'll make it look like an accident--"

It was a quick car ride. Alex opened the door before the vehicle had even fully stopped, jumping out and running into the house. "I'M HERE! PLAY THE SONG!"

Everyone in the living room (Stone, Eddie, Jeff, Chris, Matt, and McCready) looked up, half of them with alarm and the other half with amusement.

"Well, what the fuck are you waiting for? Are you gonna play me the song via telepathy? Or is the plan to just stare at me forever and see if the song plays itself?"

"Sweet Lord in the sky, why don't you just kill us all and get it over with?" Jeff asked. Alex glared at him and he began to frantically pat Stone's shoulder. "Quick, the song. Get the song, get it now, while I still have a chance of survival."

"Where's everyone else?"

"Fuck 'em, they're taking forever and I'm gonna explode if I don't hear that shit real soon--"

Luckily for everyone involved, Alex's three companions finally walked into the house. After a short round of greetings, Stone played the single for them.

"Oh, nice," Alex said almost immediately after the song started. It was a soft, simple melody; delightfully pretty.

"Skills," Jo quietly said in response to Chris's low singing.

After the first verse, Eddie's voice came on, and Alex excitedly pointed at the Eddie on the couch. "H-Hey, that's you!"

He looked down as a shy smile spread across his face.

"But I'm goin' hungry..."

"Goin' hungry, yeah!"

Alex and Charlie both leaned back in surprise at the same time.

The song ended only four minutes and a few seconds after it started. There was a silence in the room as the band waited to hear what the four others thought.

"That sucked," Alex declared. "It needs to be about five hours longer. You guys, it's beautiful. I don't even know who to hug first but it's gotta happen quick before I start crying..."

Stone laughed and moved to hug her. "Thanks, Alex. That means more than anything else ever will."

Everyone else started talking, with Jo, Charlie, and Layne congratulating the guys on the perfection of the song. They started talking about the album as a whole, and Alex took a moment during which no one was paying attention to her to sit next to Chris and take his hand.

"That is one of the best songs I've ever heard," she told him. "He would've really liked it."

His eyes met hers and he gave a tiny nod. "Thank you. For real."

She nodded as well and started to move her hand away, but he held onto it and used it to pull her just a little closer, quickly pressing a kiss to her forehead and giving her a small pat on the back with his free hand before letting go. She knew not to say anything stupid and ruin the moment; instead she simply smiled at him before standing up to go over and join the main conversation.

✩✩✩

"I'm always the last to know things. It's depressing. It's like I don't even matter--"

"I'm telling you right now and you're not even the last one to know! Stop being such a sad loser."

"Wow, Alex, you should be a therapist. You're clearly a natural with comforting words."

"Do you wanna know what happened or not?"

"I'm sorry, I take that back. You are a lovely person and I appreciate your support. Please tell me."

"Alright, so..."

Monday afternoons were usually pretty quiet, and this one was no exception. Alex hadn't gotten around to telling Stone about Charlie and Layne the day before, so she'd dropped by the next day after work to see if he still wanted the story. She'd found a pretty dead house, with Eddie sleeping on the couch and Stone trying to cook supper. Alex had wasted no time in taking a seat on the kitchen counter and starting to tell him the story only to have him complain about not knowing sooner even though it had all happened over the weekend.

"...he finally went up the stairs and that's where my side of the story ends, 'cause I went to the AIC place to hang out with Jerry."

"Oh, really? What did you guys do?"

"Bible study." He gave her a look and she reached out to smack his arm. "What do you think we did? We watched TV. Don't interrupt me, you troll."

"Fine, I'm sorry. Tell me the rest."

"Well, I came home later that day, and the apartment was empty. I took that to mean that my dear boy had indeed taken Charlie on a date or whatever, and I was right, 'cause they came back at like one in the morning all giggly and acting like a pair of teenagers trying to hide the fact that they're going out from their parents even though anyone with half a brain could figure it out--"

"Why were you awake at one in the morning?"

"Because I was reading my Holy Bible by the light of the moon. Jeez, Stone, it's because I was watching TV and I'm not a grandma who goes to sleep at nine, unlike you. Now shut up or I'll throw your food out the window. Anyway, then Charlie came in and said, 'I guess you were right about him being my boyfriend,' and I had to ask what the hell that even meant because it was one in the morning and I'd been watching Bob Ross for hours."

"You watch Bob Ross?" a new voice asked. Alex and Stone looked up to see Eddie slowly walking into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before yawning. His hair was a mess, he wasn't wearing a shirt, his left sock had a hole in it, and his voice was low and raspy.

"Eddie, I love you, but you look like a disaster. It's seven in the evening. And yes, Bob Ross is the shit."

Eddie nodded and trudged over to the fridge, reaching up and patting Alex's shoulder as he went. "I love you too."

"That's it? Not gonna even try for a comeback?" Stone asked, stirring the soup on the stove.

"Oh, sure. Um, I'm tired. Alex, you can't even judge because you sleep until four in the afternoon every time you have the chance. This was a one-time thing." Unsatisfied with what the fridge had to offer, he closed it and sat down at the table.

"It wouldn't have happened had he not stayed up until ten in the morning," Stone told Alex. "I was just waking up. I said good-morning to him and he said good-night, and I thought he'd made a mistake, but the next thing I know he's asleep on the couch."

Alex laughed and looked at Eddie with confusion in her expression. "You live here. Why didn't you just...sleep in your room?"

Eddie stared at the ground in thought. "The couch was closer."

"And then I'm the lazy one. I sleep 'til three-thirty, by the way, not four. I'm not a lawless troll like you."

"What is it with you and trolls today?" Stone asked.

"I don't know, it's just funny. Trolls are really ugly, you know? Like you guys."

"I did not leave the couch for this," Eddie mumbled, starting to get up.

"Sit down, Vedder, you have the face of an angel. Stone...you're pretty but you gotta do something about that bored look you're always wearing. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. So then Charlie told me that she and Layne had had a real nice date and that it had ended in him asking her to be his girlfriend. Meaning I was right about the whole love-muffin thing. Unbelievable, isn't it? And you know what else is pretty unbelievable? Jo came home a whole two hours after Charlie did! I mean, where did I go wrong? Did I not raise them right? Stone, am I not the best influence ever?"

"No, yeah, you're great. So do you plan to smoke crack with your first child when they're five, or are you gonna hold out until they're six?"

"Hey, I never got into crack. Although it is underrated. Shit, man, my kids are gonna be eating lettuce only and they're going to stay as far away from drugs as my dad did from me. If I ever have any kids, that is."

"Sometimes I wonder why God would make a person like you," Stone said as he took the pot off the stove. "Alright, who wants soup?"

"Me!" Alex yelled, jumping down and practically stepping on Stone's heels as he reached for the spoons.

"What are you, afraid we're gonna run out? Chill," he said. He held a spoon out to Eddie and raised his brows in a silent question. Eddie got up and took it, peering into the pot.

"So...what is this?"

"It's alphabet soup. What's it look like?"

"I know that, I meant, like...what flavor?"

"Uh...I don't know. Alphabet flavor."

"Which is...?"

"Eat some and find out."

Eddie slowly lowered the spoon into the pot, lifting out a bunch of little letters and some of the yellowish liquid, hesitating and ending up just staring at it.

"Well, what? You wanna say a prayer first? Eat the soup," Alex huffed, dipping her own spoon into the soup and promptly chowing down.

And so they ate. The soup was gone in a matter of minutes, and the three went back to talking about their other friends and Bob Ross and sleeping habits and future children and whatnot.

Monday afternoons never got too crazy.

✩✩✩

"Don't give up on yourself just because you think the world has. Fuck the world. We're not its favorite children and we're not the ones who are gonna save it one day. And you know what? That's okay with me. I live for myself."

"Fucking A."

✩✩✩

A lot of money can be anything, depending on who's answering the question of how much is a lot. For a small child, a lot of money can mean anything from five dollars upward. For a teenager, it's probably a little more than that. And adults play it weird with the value of money--they'll go from thinking two dollars for a cup of coffee is the difference between life and death to thinking fifty dollars is nothing for a Christmas bonus from work.

So how much money warrants the use of the expression a shit-ton?

The pay from Alex's new job seemed to do just that. She had gotten her first paycheck, and Charlie and Jo had insisted on being there when she opened it, neither of them knowing just how much it was supposed to be. And apparently, Alex didn't either, because she opened the envelope, took out the check, and exclaimed, "wow! This is a shit-ton of money!"

"Dude, that's a little more than the rent is!" Charlie said.

"Oh, shit, you're right. Alright, I can now live here alone. Both of you, out."

Charlie laughed and poked Alex's side, making her jump away. "You wish. It's almost exactly the rent; you wouldn't be able to buy a lot of food or clothes."

"We haven't bought clothes in forever anyway and I can get by with apples from the neighbor...I'm kidding, now stop giving me that look. But this is great. I'll put aside my part of the rent and then we'll feast like royalty."

"You're gonna spend the rest?" Charlie asked with a breathy laugh of disbelief.

"Uh, yeah. So?"

"Don't you think you should save some?"

"No, no, it's an investment. I'm gonna buy a whole bunch of canned food so we never go hungry."

"But...you should still have a little bit of money..."

"I can lose that. I'd rather have the food."

"It's--"

"--my money, alright? Come on, we all hate going hungry--"

"I'm goin' hungry..." Jo sang.

"Not helping. Anyway, it's better my way. So I'll see you guys later...I'm going to the store."

Charlie shook her head as Alex walked out, accidentally slamming the door closed behind her in her excitement. Jo observed as she sighed and moved to start straightening up the living room. "That bothers you, doesn't it?"

"The what?"

"That whole save-spend thing," Jo said with a shrug, standing to help.

"Yeah," Charlie sighed. "We just come from families with different customs is all. My parents taught me to save every spare penny I had. Alex's family didn't have a whole lot when she was growing up, so she's always felt this need to stock up on stuff when she does have money so that there's enough to live on when tough times come around."

"Do you think tough times are coming?"

"Well, I hope not, but I'd hate to be unprepared for them. I don't know, it's just...weird. It's something we've never seen eye to eye on."

"I kind of lean more towards your way, for whatever that's worth." Charlie seemed to appreciate that, and Jo changed the subject. "So, who do you think will win the Superbowl?"

✩✩✩

and tough times are coming.

i've been dragging out the cute and happy stage of this story for waaay too long. it's just that so much happened in early 1991 that i wanna write about, but i need time to pass if i wanna set this all up the right way. only i think i just figured it out while typing this so i'm gonna go keep writing. just do me a favor and stay safe and hydrated, have fun, turn up the good music, be what you wanna be, and stay sober for Charlie's boyfriend (LAYNE!). until next time :)