"I changed my mind. I can't do this. Don't knock. Actually, knock, and I'll go stand on the street corner. When I see Ben let you in I'll leave. I just can't go in there--"

"Alex, stop being so dramatic. Chris might not even be here." Charlie held Alex's wrist and knocked on the door. It was opened a few seconds later by Charlie's dear older brother, Ben Shepherd.

"What's up, loser?" he asked Charlie, greeting Alex with a small "hi" and a wave that she quickly returned.

"Says you!" Charlie exclaimed. "You go and join a cool band and suddenly you have the right to call me a loser?"

"I always had that right. Come on, come in. We're just hanging out."

"We?"

"Yeah," Ben said as he led them into the living room. This was an actual house, so Alex couldn't help but lag a little to look around and take it all in, but Charlie mistook that for nerves and pulled her along. Ben sat in a big chair and gestured around the room. "Kim, Matt, Stone, Jeff, and Chris." He pointed up at the girls and said to his friends, who had stopped talking to curiously look at them, "this is Alex and my sister Charlie."

Alex's heart had stopped. She'd come to terms with the idea of Chris being there, but no one had warned her about Stone and Jeff. She avoided their gazes, waving at Kim and Matt instead before Charlie steered her to sit on the empty two-person couch.

"This is a nice place you've got, Ben," Charlie said, not at all bothered by the presences that were unnerving the hell out of Alex. "An actual house. Fancy."

"Don't worry Charlie, one day you might be half as successful as me," he said in a teasing voice. Charlie quickly shot back with some sarcastic remark that Alex didn't quite hear. She was very aware of Stone's eyes on her and didn't want to look up just yet. Unfortunately, curiosity got the best of her, and she looked up in Chris's direction.

She almost started when she realized he was already staring directly at her. She felt a sudden need to look away but didn't, instead staring right back and appreciating that this was the first time she'd really looked at him. He had a handsome face and nice eyes and a strangely intimidating quality about him. But then he blinked and smiled at her and that immediately went away. She tried to smile back but couldn't fully do it, instead giving him a wide-eyed half-smile that probably just made her look like she'd just realized she'd left her clothes in the dryer. That made his smile bigger and he finally looked away.

"So are you guys still living at that same apartment?" Jeff asked right as Alex tuned back in.

"Yeah. I can't afford another pair of shoes, much less a new apartment. I didn't even buy this duct tape," Alex said, pointing down at the duct tape covering parts of her old boot before struggling to say through laughter, "I stole it from the warehouse I work at."

Everyone laughed and they all agreed times were tough. "So, Stone and Jeff," Charlie began in a tentative voice, "what are you guys up to nowadays?"

They exchanged a look of slight shock, both clearly caught off-guard. Alex caught Stone's eye and they both held the gaze for a moment.

"T-Tr..." Jeff began, but couldn't get the word out.

"Something with Chris," Stone said, looking over at the singer. His eyes were trained on the floor.

"Like what?"

"A...record. Just one. An EP, maybe. We don't know yet."

"That sounds pretty cool. I'll be waiting for it when you finish it. I better get a copy for free," Alex said, hoping that would be the end of talk on that topic.

"Don't worry, you will," Jeff said, giving her boots another glance. They all laughed again and Alex playfully flipped him off, wiggling her feet before reaching out to smooth down a piece of tape that was starting to curl up.

They spent the rest of the day there, talking about what kind of stuff Soundgarden had been doing and what everyone had been up to. It wasn't half as awkward as Alex had thought it would be; she was comfortable as ever around Jeff and Stone, and Kim and Matt were hilarious. Chris was a little on the quiet side, but he seemed to be pretty easygoing and fun to be around as well. And of course good old Ben was the same good old Ben as he'd always been, speaking almost exclusively in sarcasm and teasing comments.

It started raining at some point, and no one really felt like going outside and getting drenched by the cold water. It wasn't the pleasant kind of rain you could run around and have fun under, it was the kind that stung and made you wish you could somehow fight the rain. So they stayed in, turning on the TV to see what was on.

"Say Ben, do you think we'll get struck by lightning?" Kim asked in a casual tone.

"It's not a lightning storm," Matt pointed out. And he had perfect timing because the second he finished the sentence there was a flash of lightning and a heavy roll of thunder. "Well shit, never mind."

"You know, I don't think so, but I don't know if I'd be opposed to getting struck," Ben said in response to Kim's question.

"You're the tallest in the room," Charlie remarked. "You'd probably be the one to get struck."

"Only if I stand up."

"Stand up then. Someone's gotta take it for the team."

"I volunteer. It might be fun. Do you think my hair would burn off?" Chris asked.

"Maybe not all of it," Alex replied, studying his hair for a moment. "Meh, you have a lot of it. You could stand to lose some."

"Beats having to sit down for a haircut. I'm in."

They all laughed and started arguing over who really deserved to be the one to get struck by lightning, as if it was something they should all want to go through. In the end they decided the honor should go to Chris because he'd called it first. Once the matter was settled they turned their attention to the TV and followed along with the movie that had been so far getting ignored.

"What a train wreck," Kim said when it was over. "Kind of like you, Matt." He patted Matt's shoulder.

"Asshole," Matt laughed. "You're one to talk."

"What did I even do?"

"You breathe kind of funny..." Chris looked up in thought.

"I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to say to that."

"Yeah, of course you don't."

Kim blinked and narrowed his eyes. "I hope you do get struck by lightning and lose all your hair."

"No you don't."

"Yeah--never mind."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Stop it already," Charlie wheezed, putting a hand on her stomach. "I'm gonna end up dying laughing at that weird-ass roast. 'You breathe funny?' What the hell is that even supposed to mean?"

"You wouldn't know, because you breathe funny too," Jeff said, causing her to laugh even more.

"Everyone here breathes weird. We're the Weird Breathers. Our exclusive club," Alex declared, and right away they all started fighting over who got what position in the club. The biggest dispute was whether Chris or Alex should be the president since Chris had come up with the original insult and Alex had been the one the establish the club. There was a big "without me, the club wouldn't be a thing" argument until Ben intervened and suggested they be co-presidents, an idea they liked. And it was so.

"Charlie, you're my advisor." Alex placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"Someone be my advisor," Chris said.

"Let me do it, I'm smarter than the rest of these clowns," Stone piped up.

"Says the clown!" Jeff turned to look at him.

"Says--"

"Stone, you're my advisor," Chris said, and that turned into another argument between Stone and Matt.

Eventually they managed to settle (Stone got to be Chris's advisor) and the club was complete. They started making plans for their club (including going bowling, which Ben was slightly opposed to but Kim claimed to be great at) and passed an hour that way. Then Matt and Jeff started complaining about being hungry and everyone began chanting for Ben to order a pizza, cheering when their urges were successful. Only then they had to argue over which pizzeria they wanted to order from and what kind of pizza they'd get and whether they should get one or two.

"It's twenty-six dollars," Ben told them once he'd hung up after calling the chosen pizza place.

Now they had to argue about how they were going to split the cost.

"Let's look at this economically--"

"HELL NO, LET'S LOOK AT THIS MATHEMATICALLY!"

"Matt, it's not that serious..."

It was decided that they'd split it evenly (in other words, they went with Matt's suggestion of looking at it from a mathematical standpoint). Charlie looked in her pockets and coughed up three dollars and twenty-five cents while Alex tried looking in her boot, finding nothing but a quarter.

"Hey Chris, put in three dollars for me," Alex joked, reaching into her other boot to see if there was anything stashed in that one. Chris shrugged and nodded, opening his black duct tape wallet and putting 'her' share in the pile. "Wait, I was kidding. Keep--"

"Alex, you don't even have the three bucks," Charlie said in a soft voice. Defeated as she knew it was true, Alex shot Chris an extremely grateful and slightly apologetic smile. He smiled back and waved it off.

The pizzas were delivered and promptly consumed by the hungry gremlins. When the food was all gone they sat around feeling full and satisfied, laughing at some dumb movie on TV. Eventually the rain calmed down and Jeff and Stone decided to take off before it started pouring again.

"Are you guys staying over?" Ben asked the group (except Chris, since he was pretty much Ben's housemate now, as Alex and Charlie had found out).

"I can't, I got an early shift at my stupid job tomorrow and my work is too far from here," Matt said, stretching before standing up. "I swear I'm gonna quit soon. Anyway, I'm gonna get going. It was nice meeting you," he said to Alex and Charlie, who said the same to him before he said goodbye to the rest of Soundgarden and left.

"What about you?" Ben asked Kim.

"Sure, why not?" He put his head back against the top of the couch.

"Alright. You two?" Ben turned to look at Charlie and Alex.

"My work starts kind of late, so I'm cool with staying." Charlie looked over at her friend. "Alex has an early shift though."

"I wanna stay. Fuck it, this place is kind of close to my work anyway."

"Settled, now shut up so I can watch my program," Chris said, gesturing to the TV. Some bingo show was on.

"Wow, your taste in TV shows has gotten kind of mellow," Kim said, lazily turning his head to face the television.

"Are you kidding me? This is some of the most intense shit I've ever watched in my entire life."

"He's right," Alex chimed in. "I'm so excited. Charlie, which grandma do you think is gonna win?"

"That one," Charlie said as a lady with a big green hat came on the screen.

"Nah, it's gonna be her," Ben said as another old lady was shown.

"I'm with Charlie. Green Hat Grandma for the win," Alex said.

"Nah, Ben's right," Kim said. "Watch, she's stamping a number."

That, of course, turned into another fight, and that turned into a bet. Nobody even won because some random grandpa they hadn't even noticed ended up taking the prize.

"I knew it was gonna be him all along," Chris declared. The "liar!" accusations began and Ben claimed he'd recognized the winner from the start.

"That was more fun than it should have been and I don't know how to feel about that," Charlie said when it was all over.

"I do. Pumped to have found my new favorite sport," Kim exclaimed.

"Bingo's not a sport. But whatever since it was my favorite first," Chris said.

"What do you mean it's not a sport?" Alex asked, lowering her eyebrows. "What the hell else would it be?"

"Yeah, Chris, do you think it's some kind of game? It's a real physical sport." Ben turned to Chris with a serious expression.

"Aren't all sports games?"

"Not bingo."

"But it's not a--"

"You have no case," Kim interrupted. "We win."

"I hate you guys," Chris muttered, lowering his head and rubbing his left eye.

Some time around midnight Ben said he was tired and wanted to go to sleep, going to his room after telling the others to sleep wherever they liked (and getting the obligatory "how about on the roof?" from Alex) and then whacking Charlie on the head with one of the empty pizza boxes. She didn't appreciate that.

"I'll get him tomorrow," she said as she took her flannel off and curled up on the couch. She put the flannel over herself to use as a blanket and said good night to the remaining friends before closing her eyes and slowly drifting off.

"What about--" Alex started to ask, but was cut off by Kim's snore. He was already fast asleep, still sitting on the couch but with his head lowered. "Never mind."

Chris laughed and stood up. "Do you guys need a blanket or something, because I have an extra that you could share..."

"That's okay, we have our trusty shirts," Alex replied, grabbing at her flannel with two fingers. She stood and took the one pillow on the couch and put it under Charlie's head, carefully so as to not wake her.

Chris shook his head and stepped back a little. "Sure. And listen, Alex..."

Alex knew that tone of voice. She hesitated as she moved away from Charlie, her eyes quickly shifting about as she straightened up.

"I'm not gonna say a lot. I just kinda want you to know that I know what you went and are going through and I'm really sorry about all of it. If you ever need anything at all...even three bucks to cover your share of a pizza bill, or whatever, I'm here for you..."

"Thanks, Chris," Alex said with a smile. "That really means a lot. And I got you with anything too, except maybe that three bucks," she said, and both of them laughed quietly before she continued. "Really though. Thank you."

He grinned and nodded, suddenly sticking his arms out. Alex put on a soft smile and held her own out before walking into his. He held her close and lowered his head to whisper, "I'm sorry, Alex."

She couldn't even help it. She tried squeezing her eyes as tight as she could and holding back but there came the waterworks anyway. She sniffed and hugged him tighter, hiding her face in his chest and trying not to shake or make too much noise.

Chris didn't say anything else. He just held the crying girl and rubbed her back, feeling sorry for her and wishing he could do something about it.

She let go a little while later, quickly wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "And I'm sorry about that too. I hate crying."

"Don't be sorry, we all do it. Get some rest. Maybe I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah, maybe. Good night, Chris. Thanks."

"Good night, Alex."

She sat on the couch and took her boots off before bringing her knees up. She fell into a dreamless sleep, and when she woke up in the morning there was a thick blue blanket covering her and Charlie.

✩✩✩

that's all, folks! don't forget to stay safe, have fun, drink water, listen to lots of good music, be what you wanna be, and stay sober for Layne. until next time :)