Alex woke up early the next day, once again fearing she'd be late for work before realizing it was Saturday. The next thought on her mind was that she was not in her apartment. One look to her left cleared the mystery; there was Jerry, still peacefully sleeping. She looked around at the rest of the sleeping group and mentally cursed the fact that she always woke up so early. But she couldn't stay mad for long; at least she got to enjoy the morning. She slowly stood up, her knees cracking as she did, stretching before making her way over to the door and very carefully opening it and slipping out.

Alex looked around, realizing she hadn't actually seen what the street in front of the apartments looked like when they'd arrived the night before. These were motel-style apartments, so she was facing that street as soon as she walked out the door. After looking around for a moment she leaned against the railing lining the narrow walkway and took a deep breath of the icy air, filling her lungs to their utmost capacity before letting it all out. The low temperature made a large cloud of her breath. Fuck's sake, it's only August. Then again, mornings were always cold anyway.

Feeling a sudden familiar urge, she opened her old flannel's front pocket and pulled her last cigarette from the box stashed in it. She made a mental note to go buy more and took the pink lighter from the pocket of her jeans, quickly lighting the smoke. Before putting the lighter back she took a moment to admire it. Charlie had gotten it for her because pink was kind of their color, and seeing it made her happy. Alex smiled to herself as she replaced it in the pocket and leaned against the railing again, looking up and down the mostly silent street.

"Hey, why are you up so early?"

"Shit, Jerry, I almost inhaled this thing!" Alex exclaimed as she turned around to face who'd joined her outside.

"Sorry about that," Jerry said with a light laugh. He looked down at Alex with an amused look on his face and she looked up at him without letting go of her startled expression. Before Alex even had a chance to react he lifted a hand and plucked the cigarette from her mouth.

"Hey, I wasn't done with that." She tried taking it back, but he put his hand up high so she couldn't reach it.

"You know, you really shouldn't smoke..."

"You were smoking during the show yesterday!" she tried forcing his arm down by the shoulder but failed, moving higher to grab his upper arm instead.

"No I wasn't."

"What--yeah, you were."

"I don't believe you."

She didn't even know what to say that would hold up against that and so was reduced to half-formed sputters. She shook her head and focused on trying to get his arm down.

"Can I get a hit, at least?"

"What if I have a disease?" Alex said, not even sure if diseases could be spread by sharing cigarettes.

"We'll share it." He lowered her hand by taking it in his free one and took a long drag from the cigarette. Once satisfied he promptly flipped it around and stuck it right back in her mouth. She was surprised to say the least but made no attempt to remove it, instead simply stared at him with an appalled look on her face.

"You're weird," was all she said.

"Not as weird as you."

She turned back to face the street and so did he. They put their arms up on the railing at the exact same time, both nearly breaking their necks as each quickly looked over at the other when they noticed the unintended synchrony, then moving back when they saw how those actions had matched as well before melting into laughter at how well that all had played out.

"So, you never answered my question. Why are you up this early?"

Alex scoffed, taking a deep inhale of smoke and slowly blowing it out before speaking. "Why are you?"

"I asked first."

"Oh, well, I opened my eyes at a time that happened to be early."

"Wow, me too! We have so much in common!"

"Smart-ass." Alex lifted a hand and pushed his arm off the railing, taking another hit of the cigarette before handing it to him. He raised one eyebrow but took it, smoking it as she continued. "I have to get up this early for work and we don't have an alarm, so I guess I got used to it."

"See, that makes sense. Was that so hard to say?" He handed back the cig.

"Kind of. Now you tell me why you're up."

"I don't even know, to be honest. I just woke up and noticed you were gone so I came out here to see if this is where you'd be, and I was right."

"Amazing instincts you got there..."

"Alex!" Charlie exclaimed from behind the pair, and they both turned to face her. "Man, I thought you'd deserted."

"I would never leave you alone with these fiends." Alex pointed her cigarette at Jerry. "Look at this guy. Tell me this," she gestured to his face, "isn't the face of evil."

Charlie blinked and looked up at him, tilting her head ever so slightly and squinting. "I don't know if I'd say--"

"Hey, what's going on--" Layne began as he emerged from the apartment, sleepily rubbing one eye.

"And you," Alex interrupted, narrowing her eyes and waving her hand in his direction, "you villain..."

"I have no idea what's going on," Jerry told him. "We're getting bashed here, man."

"Oh, okay. I'll get the other guys. By the way, Alex, I like your shirt."

"Aw, thanks. I like your jacket. Now go get the other hooligans."

He did, and Charlie promptly named Mike and Sean a hoodlum and a ruffian, respectively. Alex applauded her.

"Well, I'm done getting attacked in my own home," Jerry said, swiftly snatching the cigarette away from Alex once again, laughing at how distraught she looked at that.

"Technically, you're not in your home right now," Mike began before Layne cut him off.

"Whose side are you on?"

"There are sides now?" Sean asked. "I just wanted breakfast..."

It turned out they all wanted that, so they went back inside to scavenge for some food. The best they found was cereal (but no milk) and some grapes. Alex and Charlie immediately offered to repay the guys if and when they came over to their apartment, but that was quickly waved off.

"No need, we're all poor here. We understand," Jerry said as he shoveled dry, almost stale cereal into his mouth.

"Don't even worry about it. When our album goes gold we'll all go out and have a feast so big we won't even know what to do with all the food," Mike declared. They all laughed and started to argue about where they'd go to buy all that food before deciding they'd get something of everything.

✩✩✩

"That was so much fun! I'm so glad we went to that show," Charlie said when she and Alex got back to their own apartment.

"Yeah, me too; I'd missed my stupid cousin," Alex agreed as she nudged her boots off. "Hey, maybe we should see what your brother is up to. He never did join Nirvana, huh?"

"Nah, I guess not. But we could give him a call. Maybe, just maybe, he'll pick up."

And so Alex put her boots back on as Charlie looked for quarters and they went downstairs to use the payphone. Charlie dialed while Alex used the leftover quarters to get more cigarettes from the vending machine.

"Hello? Hello? Hey, you there? Yo, I asked if you're there, motherfu--oh, hi Ben!"

"He picked up?" Alex whispered, clumsily stomping back over in her untied boots just threatening to slip off her feet.

Charlie nodded. "So, you're at home, huh? That's new. What's up? How's the career? Uh-huh. Oh wow, that's cool."

After a long minute of that Alex started to seriously wish she could hear what the hell Ben was saying.

"Soundgarden? Is that what you said?"

"Wait, what?" Alex said in a loud voice.

Charlie gave her a look and covered the receiver with her palm. "He joined Soundgarden!"

Alex's heart sank. Soundgarden. Chris Cornell. I...

Memories made only months ago seemed decades old, and she found herself falling into a particularly bright one.

"Yeah, good old Chris. He likes to stay in and write music and stuff. You know, I think he secretly hates me..."

Alex had only had one or two exchanges with him and had never even gotten a real look at his face. But somehow she dreaded the thought of coming in contact with him again. Maybe he'd have something to say, or maybe she'd start running her mouth...either way, it would probably be awkward.

She tuned back in just in time to hear Charlie asked her brother when they could visit. She didn't know what to feel or how to react; she didn't want to kill the mood and she certainly didn't want to ruin the sibling reunion. So she kept quiet, putting on an excited face instead.

"Great! See you then, bye!" Charlie hung up and faced her friend. "We're going to Ben's tomorrow."

"Sounds good to me," Alex replied, hoping she wouldn't give anything away.

Unfortunately for her, Charlie knew her better than Joey knew his drinks, and immediately knew something was up. "Is something--wait. Soundgarden." Her face fell a little. "Chris Cornell."

Alex nodded, looking away for a moment. "It's okay. Who cares? It's not like I have anything against him, I barely know him. And we don't even know if he'll be there."

"Alex..."

"I'm serious, it's okay. I wanna see old Ben."

"If you're sure," Charlie sighed. "Come on, let's go watch TV."

✩✩✩

Once again, Alex was awake too early. Only Sunday morning was not as nice; it colder than the previous day's begining. She was barely able to appreciate the sun's warmth as she sat on the tiny balcony of her apartment, but at least it was there. She and Charlie had given up a nicer apartment for that balcony and by golly she was going to sit out there in her creaky wooden chair and enjoy it.

She sighed to herself and spoke. Quietly so no one would really hear, but loud enough that the words were understandable to anyone who came near. "You know...I think about you all the time. I wonder what you're doing. I wonder if you're okay. And I hate to admit I sometimes wonder if you ever think of me. Sometimes I think you might, but then I wonder if you'd even recognize me if we happened to meet again..."

"Hey," a very soft voice said. Alex looked up, seeing Charlie step out onto the balcony. She sat in the other chair and handed Alex a mug of hot cocoa, hot chocolate being a luxury they couldn't exactly afford. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just...you know..." Alex looked down at the cup and sniffed.

"Aw, hey..." Charlie scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her friend. "I got you, I'm here. Nothing's happening."

The familiar phrase helped. Alex wiped her eyes and sniffed again, smiling at her friend. "I'm glad you're here, Charlie."

"So am I," was the simple but oh-so-meaningful reply.

They sat there for a while, watching as the sun rose higher and took a proud place in the sky. When they finished their drinks they went back inside to get ready to head to Ben's place.

✩✩✩

good old Alex and her secrets, amirite? well, Soundgarden is next up, so i'm gonna start writing that because i love my SG boys. them along with some other special guests...
anyway, thanks for reading! just don't forget to stay safe, have fun, drink a lot of water (but not too much), listen to good music, be what you wanna be and do what you wanna do, and most importantly, stay sober for Layne. until next time!