Date: May 13, 2022
Words: 3389

~ Author's Note ~

Our ship is about to go down...

Do you guys ever have that moment, where you go... oh fuck, what did I just do? Please, forgive me. It's gonna hurt...

FYI... Natasha's memories have previously been tampered with...

There are some mentions of the comic book: Black Widow, in the name of rose. If you have read it, you will probably know who Rose is... Ask any questions you have.

I added the deleted T'Challa and Natasha scene.

Lyrics belong to song Let Me Down Slowly by Alec Benjamin

Could you find a way to let me down slowly?
A little sympathy, I hope you can show me

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The second she turns the corner, his blue irises meet her emerald, and she can feel the air getting sucked out of the room. Steve clenches his jaw, looking down at the floor as they walk through the skywalk.

The anger is radiating from him.

"You'll be provided with an office instead of a cell," she glances around, catching sight of Everett trailing off in front of them. "Do me a favor, stay in it."

T'Challa huffs, "I don't intend on going anywhere."

Steve tries to focus on their conversation, but he can't help but pay closer attention to the sound of a familiar pair of footsteps getting closer. Natasha walks right up to him, her eyes trailing down until she reaches them, and spins around, falling into step beside him.

"For the record, this is what making things worse looks like." Natasha glances up, watching him avoid her gaze and tighten his jaw.

"He's alive."

Natasha straightens her shoulders, facing forward as they come closer to the conference room. Every part of her wants to reach forward, and brush her fingers with his. Send him some type of comfort. He has just seen James for the first time in years, but she can tell there's something else wrong.

"No. Romania was not Accords-sanctioned." She turns her head, watching Tony on the phone. "And, Colonel Rhodes is supervising cleanup."

Natasha takes the lead, glancing back, swallowing as she catches Sam glaring at her. Steve still won't meet her gaze. She shakes her head, before she mutters under her breath, "Try not to break anything while we fix this."

"Consequences?" Tony glances up, stepping out of the conference room, clenching the phone tightly. "You bet there'll be consequences." He catches her gaze, while his eyes sweep over the incoming crowd. "Obviously, you can quote me on that because I just said it." He meets Steve's eyes, his gaze twisting into a hard look, "Anything else?" He pauses, "Thank you, sir."

"Consequences?" Steve repeats.

"Secretary Ross wants you both prosecuted," Natasha turns, watching both of them closely. "Had to give him something."

Steve nods, taking in a long, hard breath. He follows after them, "Not getting that shield back, am I?"

"Technically it's the government's property now." She smirks, masking the nerves spreading throughout her system. "Wings too."

"That's cold," Sam breaths.

"Warmer than jail," Tony retorts.

Natasha glances back at Steve, watching him continue to avoid her gaze. She shakes her head, slowing down to match his speed. "Hey?"

He still can't look her in the eyes.

The redhead clenches her jaw, taking a deep breath as she glances around. No one is looking at them, except for Sam and Tony. She grabs his wrist, pulling him back from the group.

"Come with me."

Natasha drags him behind her, glaring at all the agents that dare to stare too long. Wisely, they decide to turn the other way. They all know about the rumors of what happens to people that have dared to stare down the Black Widow. None of them will ever volunteer for that assignment.

She leads him into an empty conference room. One that has solid walls instead of glass, and people can't stare at them during their conversation. She slams the door, releasing him from her death grip.

"Talk," she demands, "Tell me what's going on."

Natasha knows he found James, that the authorities had gotten involved, and there was some type of chase to get away that didn't end in their favor. But what is she missing?

What is he not telling her?

Steve shakes his head, finally raising to look her in the eye. His blue irises are blazing with fury, and she had to use all her training to stop herself from flinching back. He has never looked at her like this.

"You knew Bucky."

"Wait," Natasha frowns, tension bubbling through her veins, "You already knew that. The mission in Odessa, when he shot out the engin—"

"Before that," Steve chuckles bitterly, "You knew him, from before Odessa."

Fuck.

Natasha steps back, freezing as the memories start to threaten to overwhelm her. She doesn't want to think about this. She doesn't want to talk about this, but one look at Steve, and she knows he's not going to let this go anytime soon.

Steve nods, ignoring the burning in his eyes, and he tries to swallow the lump in his throat. He watches her place her crafted perfectly mask over her face, and he already knows his answer.

"You knew him, and you didn't tell me."

"Steve..."

"You knew him."

Steve steps away from her, turning around as the fury starts burning through him. He can't look at her right now. He doesn't want to say something he will regret later.

"Steve..." Natasha shakes her head, watching as he clenches his fist. She can't see his face, but she can imagine all the emotions crossing over.

Anger. Hurt. Betrayal.

"Steve, it was a long time ago." The redhead shakes her head, "It's not something I talk about. I... I didn't tell anyone anything. Not SHIELD. Not Nick. I didn't even tell Clint."

Steve turns around, ignoring the tears trailing down his cheeks. "You could have told me!" He shakes his head, watching her falter back. "You could have told me, you know that! You could have told me anything!"

"I... I know that. I wanted to tell you. I did," She shakes her head, her eyes stinging. She tries everything in her power to not let them fall. "Please, Steve, I wanted to tell you. Trust me, please—"

"Trust you!?" Steve stalks forward, bitterly chuckling, though the tears are streaming down his face. "How can I trust you?!"

Natasha flinches back, tears rolling down her face, as she shakes her head. "Steve, please..."

"You once asked me if I would trust you with my life and I said yes because I was being honest." Steve shrugs, sniffling as he watches her fail at holding up her mask. He tries to ignore the burning spreading through his chest. "But now, if I'm honest, I'd say I don't trust you anymore, not when you've kept this from me for so long, not when you keep lying to me."

Natasha freezes, feeling like the walls were closing in around her. She can't breathe. Steve watches her face pale, and he almost wants to take it all back.

Instead, he shakes his head, getting ready to deliver the final blow. He shrugs, "Guess I made a mistake trusting someone like you."

Natasha takes a slow breath, one hand sliding over her stomach, struggling to stop it from turning. She shakes her head, watching him move towards the door. "Is this it, you're just done?"

Steve pauses, facing away from her. He swallows, as he takes a deep breath. "Are you gonna lie or tell me the truth?"

"What should I tell you, Steve?" Natasha forces her body to push forward, and an angry wave washes through her. "Do you want me to tell you he trained me? Do you want me to tell you how? It's not that easy of a subject to talk about, Steve." The redhead pauses, having to make herself take a deep breath. "It was a different lifetime ago. Before I met Clint, I had nothing." Natasha wipes a tear off her cheek, "Everything I had ever tried to love got taken away. Including him."

She takes a step back, attempting to breathe and not allow the memories to take over. Most of the memories are horrible, but there are a few she can't bring herself to think about.

The Ohio mission. Yelena.

Training. James.

Rose.

Steve tries to come up with something to say. Anything to say. He wants to comfort her, but he's already gone too far.

He can't take back what he said.

Suddenly, the door opens, and Tony appears from behind the door. He glances at them, his brown irises trailing over them. It's not hard for him to notice the tear stains on Steve's cheeks, but the worst is Natasha. Her eyes are swollen, and she is holding on to her stomach again like earlier.

He doesn't know what has happened.

Tony can honestly say, he doesn't want to know what has happened. He clears his throat, "Hate to interrupt, whatever this is, but Ross wants Rogers back at the office." He glances toward Natasha, before flickering his gaze at Steve. "Are you two done?"

Steve shakes his head, narrowing his gaze, ready to send the other man away. To demand for some time where they could talk. Or argue. Natasha cuts him off, walking closer to the door.

"Yeah, we're done." She glances back, sending one of her piercing glares directly at Steve. "I mean, we are done, right?"

She doesn't give him time to answer.

Natasha walks out.

XX

"Hey, you wanna see something cool?"

Steve turns away from the glass window. Away from the footage of Bucky being strapped inside of a metal container contained. He watches Tony step inside the office, holding a small box.

"I pulled something from Dad's archives." Tony shrugs, "Felt... timely."

Steve sighs, avoiding his gaze, but still moves forward to take a seat at the end of the table. Tony tosses his suit jacket over the back of an empty chair before he opens the box.

Tony sits down across from Steve, "FDR signed the Lend-Lease bill with these in 1941. Provided support to the allies when they needed it most."

Steve smiles dryly, lifting his gaze to meet Tony's. He lets out a long breath, "Some would say it brought our country closer to war."

"See, if not for these you wouldn't be here," Tony sighs, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm trying to... what do you call it? That's an olive branch. Is that what you call it?"

No.

That's not what Steve would call it.

Steve huffs, shaking his head while opening his mouth to ask a different question. To change the subject. Tony cuts him off, "What was that about with Natashalie, that argument you two had? What was that?"

"Nothing." Steve visibly tenses, as he clenches his jaw, "It was nothing."

"It didn't look like nothing."

Steve shakes his head, and Tony sighs inwardly. He's not going to get anything out of him, and he would ask Natasha, but he couldn't find her. After Tony walked in on their agreement, or whatever it was, Natasha had disappeared. Probably to pull herself back together, and hide any trace of vulnerability.

"Is Pepper here?" Steve asks suddenly, changing the subject. "I didn't see her."

"We're kinda..." Tony trails off, hurt flashing through his eyes before he could cover it. "Well, not kinda..."

"Pregnant?" Steve guesses.

Tony scoffs, "No, definitely not." He pauses, meeting Steve's gaze. "We're taking a break. It's nobody's fault."

Steve opens his mouth to reply, but closes it quickly as the shock floods his system. He can tell the other man is in pain, and sympathy consumes him.

"I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't know."

"Few years ago I almost lost her, so I trashed all my suits." Tony pauses, taking a breath, "Then, we had to mop up Hydra... and then Ultron. My fault. And then and then and then... I never stopped." He shakes his head, "Cause the truth is, I don't wanna stop. I don't want to lose her. I thought maybe the Accords could split the difference."

Life is never that easy.

"In her defense, I'm a handful," he mutters bitterly, with a slight smile. Tony pauses, sending a smirk toward the Captain, "I suspect, Red has her hands full dealing with you..."

It was a pretty big gamble for Tony to make that type of statement about them. He doesn't know anything about their relationship status, or if they are even in one. He has no proof, but he's trusting his gut.

"We're not..." Steve flushes, shifting in his seat. "We're not together."

Tony nods slowly, watching a familiar gaze of hurt stare back at him. "Hell, my parents made it work. Yet, my dad was a pain in the ass, but... he and mom always made it work."

"You know, I'm glad Howard got married," Steve said, happy to have someone else to talk about. "I only knew him when he was young and single."

"Oh really, you two knew each other?" Tony questions sarcastically, as his voice raises. "He never mentioned that. Maybe only a thousand times." He pauses, glaring at the Captain's gaze. "God, I hated you."

"I didn't mean to make things difficult."

Tony nods, grabbing his jacket to pull on. Using it as a type of shield. He shakes his head, "I know because you're a very polite person."

"If I see a situation pointed south," Steve shakes his head, twisting in his chair, "I can't ignore it. Sometimes I wish I could."

"No, you don't."

Steve smiles thinly, knowing he can't argue. He is not the type who would ignore the problems happening in the world. He never has been. He never will.

No, I don't," he agreed. "Sometimes..."

Tony cuts in slowly, "Sometimes I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth." He shakes his head, "But I don't want to see you gone. We need you, Cap."

Natasha needs you, though he doesn't say it.

"So far nothing's happened that can't be undone if you sign." Tony shrugs, "We can make the last twenty-four hours legit. Barnes gets transferred to an American psych center instead of a Wakandan prison."

Steve pauses, his eyes falling towards the box of pens in front of him. He reaches to pull one out, twisting it through his fingers. His mind is spinning, trying to think through all the possible scenarios.

If he cooperated, so would the government. Maybe this is what he needs to ensure Bucky's safety. Natasha is right, this is the easiest path, though that doesn't mean it's the wrong path. Maybe the government will listen to his input. Maybe if they make the right changes, things could go back to normal.

"I'm not saying it's impossible," he states slowly, "But there would have to be safeguards."

"Sure." Tony could feel the relief flowing into his chest, smiling slightly. "Once we put out the PR fire, these documents can be amended. I will file a motion to have you and Wanda reinstated..."

"Wanda?" Steve asks abruptly, cutting Tony off. "What about Wanda?"

"She's fine. She's confined to the compound currently," Tony tries to brush it off, feeling the tension in the room spread. "Vision's keeping her company."

"Oh god, Tony..." Steve shakes his head, as disbelief mixes into his tone. "Every time... every time! I think you see things the right way..."

"What?" Tony reasons, "It's a hundred acres with a lap pool, it's got a screening room! There are worse ways to protect people!"

"Protection?!" The Captain exclaims, "Is that how you see this? This is protection?" He shakes his head, "It's internment, Tony!"

"She's not a US citizen—"

"Oh, come on, Tony."

"And they don't grant visas to weapons of mass destruction."

"She's a kid!" Steve argues.

"Give me a break!" Tony snaps, anger flowing through him. Steve tries to hold his tongue, as he takes deep breaths. "I'm doing what has to be done to stave off something worse."

"You keep telling yourself that." Steve shakes his head, disappointment written all over. He drops the pen on the table, "Hate to break up the set."

He walks out of the room, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He can't support the Accords. Not now. Not with what it's costing Wanda. He can't stand for any of this.

XX

Natasha pauses in front of the sliding door. She allows herself to take a calming breath, hoping that it can help settle her stomach. After her fight with Steve, she had gone to the bathroom hoping to pull herself together, but instead, she ended up puking her guts out. She can't understand what's happening?

Is she getting sick?

She never gets sick.

Natasha pushes herself forward, making her way past the Prince playing with his phone. He is tense, nerves spreading throughout his body. He looks annoyed, and she can tell his patience won't last long.

"So, I guess when you said you'd do it yourself," she starts, "You meant you'd... do it yourself."

T'Challa narrows his eyes, watching Natasha cross the room and lean back to sit on the arm of a chair. "You are not used to the truth, are you?"

Natasha swallows thickly, and she wants to shift under his gaze but doesn't allow herself. There are not many people who can read through her so easily.

"I got a look at your suit," she said, expertly cooling her gaze. "Vibranium weave. I'm impressed." She pauses, her lips curving upwards. "You realize that this puts you under the Accords' jurisdiction, right?"

T'Challa nods sharply, "How long do US psychological evaluations usually take?"

She half smirks, "Why, you bored?"

"Not currently," he replies slowly, "But my prisoner and I have a plane to catch."

Natasha takes a deep breath, trying to smile as she covers her discomfort. He doesn't know James, she has to remind herself. James is the man who killed his father, but his eagerness made her uneasy.

"I realize you're not one for politics," Natasha slowly begins, "But I think there's a chance you're being a bit naive."

T'Challa clenches his jaw, as anger shines through his eyes. He takes a deep breath, ready to reply, but gets cut off as Everett barges into the room.

"Congratulations, your highness," he starts loudly. "He got extradition."

Natasha's eyes go wide slightly, flying up to catch sight of the Deputy. He glances between the two, watching irritably as the Prince's gaze remains burning through her skin.

T'Challa stares, visibly displeased, despite his attempt to keep a straight face. It was clear he could read that she was happy to hear the news.

"Yes, Ms. Romanoff," he replies slowly, dropping his voice. "I'm sure I have much to learn."

T'Challa leaves the room, following after the Deputy, shooting her one last look. She takes a deep breath, pulling herself together. Natasha stood, crossing the room, before heading back to the main area.

Natasha stands in front of the monitors, watching as James remains stoic through the footage. This is the first time she's seen him in two years. She tries not to let the memories overwhelm her, as some movement in his cell appears.

"Hello, Mr. Barnes," the man greets. She recognizes the thick accent that is distinctly eastern-European. "I have been sent by the United Nations to evaluate you. Do you mind if I sit?"

James doesn't answer, remaining stoic as he stares at the ceiling of the cell. She lets out a slow, even breath, as she recognizes the look in his eye.

Everything goes hazy around her.

The man asks, "Your first name is James?"

His name is James.

Though that's not what she always called him. The Winter Soldier. He was a myth that so many believed to only be a legend. James. He was the only person in that hell hole that let her feel.

They took him away. Just like everything else.

Memories break free, consuming her whole.

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Cold skin, drag my feet on the tile
As I'm walking down the corridor
And I know we haven't talked in a while
So I'm looking for an open door

XX

Questions? Ideas?

Did you cry?