BUNKER MAIN ROOM

Sam and Dean in the Bunker, they are in the library. Sam is researching Cain and Abel on the computer and Dean is pacing looking like he is calling Crowley for the thousandth time.

"Come on, Crowley. Pick up! Where the hell is he? It's not like he's got a social life." Dean Says

"Uh, are you actually worried?" Sam Says

Dean dials again but gets Crowley's voicemail.

"Too busy inflicting pain to answer. Leave a message."

"Guy's got one job -- find the First Blade, bring it back. How hard is that?" Dean Says

"It's Crowley. He's not exactly a team player." Sam Says

"Yeah, but his ass is on the line, too. He goes missing for weeks on end without a peep? Well, not one that makes sense, anyway. Listen to this." Dean Says

Dean sets his phone on the table and plays a voicemail on speaker.

"Dean. Um..." Crowley starts saying indecipherable ramblings

"Wait a second. Did he...Drunk-dial you?" Sam Says

"Come on." Dean Says

Crowley's phone rings as the scene changes, his  caller ID reads "Not Moose" across the room are clothes scattered on the floor and Crowley is in bed with a young, gorgeous woman. They are both breathing hard and then we see Crowley fall on his back on the pillow.

"Lola?" Crowley Says

"My King?" Lola Says

"My après-consummation treat." Crowley Says

"On it, sire." Lola Says

She moves over to the closet and opens the door to reveal a man tied and hanging from the hanger rod. Lola pulls out a syringe and sticks the needle in his neck and fills it with his blood. The man struggles weakly and then passes out, She turns back to Crowley with it.

"Pantry's almost empty. We'll need another volunteer." Lola Says

"You should add that to your "to do" list." Crowley Says

Crowley presses the needle into his arm and shoots up all the human blood.

"Ahh..Lola, pet? I do believe I'm ravenous." Crowley Says

Lola does a small bow and leaves, Later Lola returns with pizza and wine. She sees Crowley watching Casablanca and crying openly. She smirks to herself as she watches him wipe his eyes.

_________________________________

SHIPPING WAREHOUSE

Lola is waiting for someone then a demon walks up to her and she looks up.

"My name is Aldo." He Says

"My intel is for Abaddon...Minion." Lola Says

"And she appreciates the work you've been doing." Aldo Says

"At great peril." Lola Says

"But she is tied up securing her place as new leader of the Kingdom. She assures you that all relevant information can be conveyed to me. So...Update?" Aldo Says

"What happened to Katherine?" Lola Asks

"She got caught up with the Winchesters and she's in hell waiting for Abaddon." Aldo Says

"The King is off his game. Except for sex, pizza, and human blood, he has no interests. He can't function without me." Lola Says

"Well played." Aldo Says

"I should mention he keeps getting phone calls from those Winchesters. They leave voicemails for him." Lola Says

"Saying?" Aldo Asks

"Mostly, they're rude. One mentioned something called the First Blade." Lola Says

"Interesting. Follow how this develops and report in." Aldo Says

"Oh, I will. And when I do, I expect to report directly to the next Queen of Hell. Capisce?" Lola Says

CROSSROADS

Sam, Elena and Dean and the Impala at a crossroads and Sam is busy burying a container of ritual items while Elena and Dean finishes spray-painting a giant Devil's Trap.

"And done." Elena Says

"All right, do it." Dean Says

"Daemon, esto subiecto voluntati meae." Sam Says

They all look around as Snooki appears behind them in the Devil's Trap. She flashes her red eyes in annoyance.

"Elena and The Winchesters." Snooki Says

"I-is that, uh...?" Sam Says

"Snooki." Elena Says

"Well, that explains a lot." Dean Says

"Okay, uh, look...Snooki -- can I call you "Snooki"?" Sam Asks

"No. It's Nicole now." She Says

"Hi..loved your show, big fan..." Sam and Dean look at her "...Was a fan." Elena Says

"Okay, then. Nicole... We can do this one of two ways. The easy way -- you talk. Or the easier way—" He takes out the demon knife "You still talk." Sam Says

"I vote for number two." Dean Says

"We just want some basic information on Crowley. That's it." Elena Says

"Google him. Are we done?" Sam advances at her with the knife raised "Whoa! Not the face! Are you crazy? Listen, guys, what happens in Hell stays in Hell. I got nothin'." Nicole Says

"But you do have a pretty sweet deal with Crowley in charge. If Abaddon wins, you can kiss all that goodbye—" Dean Says

"All the fancy cars, the book deals." Sam Says

"Show biz can be tough." Elena Says

"I'm doing fine. Thanks." Nicole Says

"Oh. Well, good luck landing your next gig inside a Devil's Trap." Dean Says

"What do you want to know?" Nicole Asks

"Where is Crowley?" Elena Asks

"Last time I heard, he was somewhere in the western Pacific." Nicole Says

"Makes sense." Sam Says

"Really? Floating around in the ocean while his kingdom goes up in flames?" Nicole Says

"Meaning?" Dean Says

"Hell's gettin' crazy. Even the loyalists want to sign on with Abaddon. She's gonna make her move are we done? I got a thing." Nicole Says As Sam, Elena and Dean exchange looks

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus..." Sam Says

"Seriously? An exorcism? We had a deal!" Nicole Says

"See ya, Snooks." Dean Says

Sam continues the exorcism, much to Nicole's dismay.

HOTEL ROOM

Crowley is busy reading the book little Women, Lola walks in the door with a handful of shopping bags.

"Honey, I'm home." Lola Says

"Hello, pumpkin. Did you have a nice day?" Crowley Asks

"Lola did some shopping." She says taking off her fur coat

"Looks like Lola did a lot of shopping." Crowley Says

"But not all of it's for me. Looky, looky." Lola pulls out a blood bag from her purse filled with O Negitive

"I hope it's a good vintage." Crowley Says

"Well, you look like you could use a little pick-me-up. I just love what it does for you." Lola Says filling the syringe

"Do you?" He flicks his hand and sends Lola flying into the next room and hitting the floor at the foot of the bed "You tried to play me? I play the tune! Everyone else dances to it. Got it?!" Crowley Says

"Yes! I -- I'm your slave." Lola Says

"You're my rodent -- my little rodent who went scurrying off to Abaddon to rat on me." Crowley Says

"No! No." Lola Says

"Do you really think some other lowlife wouldn't sell you out? I thought you were a smart girl -- a girl I could've helped." Crowley Says

"You're joking, right? You help me? Look at yourself. You couldn't help anyone." Lola Says

"Hmm." Crowley Says

He drops an angel blade into his hand from his sleeve and stabs and kills Lola. He walks into the other room and shoots up another syringe of blood. Then he catches a look at himself in the mirror. He gets emotional as he takes in his bloodshot eyes and unkempt look.

BUNKER MAIN ROOM

Sam is in the Bunker library reading a entry on the computer about the Mariana Trench, Dean enters carrying two beers.

"Hey." Dean Says

"Hey. So...Cain said the First Blade was tossed in the deepest ocean, right? That's the Mariana Trench. Maybe Crowley found it, and it's a double-cross." Sam Says

"That doesn't make sense. He wants me to power it up and kill the ginger. He set it up." Dean Says

"Okay. A-assuming he does show up with it, Crowley is only useful to us until we have the Blade." Sam Says

"Yeah. So?" Dean Says

"So...There's nothing stopping us from using it on him, right?" Sam Asks

"Nothing at all." His phone rings and he looks at the caller ID "Speak of the devil..Did you find the First Blade?" Dean Says

"Not exactly." Crowley Says

"Well, then, what, exactly?" Dean Says

"I'm in... a jam of sorts. Thought you might help." Crowley Says

The Impala cruses down the road and arrives at the hotel Crowley's been staying at, He unlocks his door and enters, carrying a paper bag with something inside it. He starts when he sees Sam, Elena and Dean already inside waiting for him.

"Hello, boys..Bambi good to see the old whore is out of you." Crowley Says

"Hmm." Elena Says

Dean kicking a foot of a dead body on the floor
"And what do you call this?"

"Refreshments?" Crowley Says

"What's in the bag, Crowley?" Sam Asks

"Nothing." Crowley Says

"Really? Maybe I can, uh..." He reaches for the bag and tears it open revealing a blood bag filled with AB Negitive "What, are you knocking over blood banks?" Sam Says

Sam grabs Crowley's arm and Elena swings a chair around. Sam and Dean shove him into the chair and handcuff him to the arm.

"Come on, guys." Crowley Says

"Look at you. You're a mess. You know, we were counting on you. You let us down." Dean Says

"Your slimy followers were counting on you to kill Abaddon, and you let them down." Sam Says

"The man with all the mojo -- Captain Evil." Elena Says

"Oh, it's pathetic." Sam Says

"What is this? An intervention?!" Crowley Says

"You need to focus, Crowley. Get a grip!" Sam Says

"What, you just gonna let Hell go to Hell?" Dean Says

"You don't know what it's like to be human!"
Dean just stares at him "It's your DNA. It's my addiction, my cross, my burden!" Crowley Says

"All right, take it easy." Dean Says

"I see the darkness of it now, the Anthony Weiner of it. It makes you needy. I needed her. Lola used me. She reported everything I did back to Abaddon." Crowley Says

"Crowley... Did you tell her about the First Blade?" Elena Asks

"I don't know. Things get a trifle blurry when I'm medicated." Crowley Says

"Great. If he told Lola, she definitely told Abaddon." Sam Says

"Which means that Abaddon's in the hunt for this thing, too. All right, you know what? This crap ends now. You're cut off. Okay? Kicking it. Cold turkey." Dean Says

BUNKER DUNGEON

Crowley is now being cuffed up in the Bunker dungeon. Again while Sam sits by on his laptop.

"Back in this fetid pit. Could at least have added some throw pillows." Crowley Says

"Focus..Okay. You swept the Mariana Trench. And...?" Sam Says

"And the First Blade was not, as hoped, in the Trench. It had, in fact, been scooped up by an unmanned sub, from whom it was stolen by a research assistant, who reportedly sold it to Portuguese smugglers who, in turn, lost it to Moroccan pirates in a poker game." Crowley Says

"What?" Sam says

"Poor moose. It's always a little tricky keeping up, isn't it?" Crowley Says

Sam shakes his lead and goes back to work, he casually looks up to find Crowley staring at him.

"What are you doing?" Sam Asks

"I'm still a little tainted by humanity. Makes me sentimental." Crowley Says

"Well, stop." Sam Says

"You and I both know we shared a mo back in that church. And on some level, we are bonded." Crowley Says

"Crowley, the only reason you are alive is that we need your help to deal with Abaddon 'cause she is an even worse pile of crap than you are. And that is the extent of my concern for you. Got it? Okay. What happened after the pirates?" Sam Says

_________________________________

PARK

Sam, Elena and Dean sitting on a bench outside in a park. They look to be waiting for someone. Sam looks around and sees Crowley digging in a vending machine a few yards off.

"What is Crowley doing?" Sam Asks
As Dean and Elena looks around

"Stealing candy." Elena Says

"He is -- he's -- he's stealing candy." Sam Says

You know, at least when Cas was human, he was an okay guy. Should've known Crowley would be a douche version." He gets up and shouts at him
"Hey. Hey! Cut it out, man! Image! You're the king of rotten. Act like it." Dean Says

Crowley gets pouty and moves to sit down at another bench.

"Do You really think this guy's gonna show up? I mean, this isn't exactly a place where million-dollar deals go down." Elena Says

"Look, word is, this André Develin character bought the Blade from the pirates, and he's been shopping it around. That's all I know." Sam Says As figure approaches them

"Hey, heads up." Dean Says

"Mr. Develin, we spoke on the phone." Sam Says

"You said you represent a serious collector with an interest in a private transaction." Develin Says

"Did he? Oh. Well, what he meant to say was, is that we are with... The FBI." Dean Says

"Then good evening." Develin Says

"Wait a second. We just want some answers." Elena Says

"Read Sartre. Jean-Paul Sartre. I'm merely a facilitator between the buyer and the seller -- a conduit. So, unless I'm being detained—" Develin Says

Crowley is overhearing the conversation and suddenly decides to take matters into his own hands. Crowley's red smoke rushes out of his mouth and across the park and into Develin's mouth. A moment later it rushes out again and back into Crowley's meat suit, Sam, Elena and Dean are startled.

"So, am I? Being detained?" Develin Asks

"Not at the...moment. No, but we've got our eyes on you." Dean Says As Develin leaves

"National Institute of Antiquities." Crowley Says

NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF ANTIQUITIES

The National Institute of Antiquities in Kansas City, Missouri. Inside two security guards are playing the card game Gin.

"Gin. Again." He Says

They hear a noise but before they can check it out two columns of demon smoke come under the door and force their way down their throats. The guards eye's turn black. Guard #1 goes to unlock a vault while Guard #2 stands guard. Suddenly a girl walks in with a bag of takeout.

"Brought you guys something for your shift." She Says

Security Guard#2 grabs a knife from a table and cuts her throat. She falls to the ground dead. A few hours later when the room is a crime scene, The two guards and the girl are all dead on the floor. Police are taking pictures and cataloging evidence. The Head Detective on the case is talking to Sam, Elena and Dean who are there as FBI.

"I don't have much for you guys. The guards were good men. They'd been here for years -- vetted, honest. But..." He Says

"But?" Dean Says

"Security camera shows a research assistant caught them breaking into vault number one." He Says

"That's her?" Dean Says

"Gets weirder." He Says

He shows them the security footage and it shows one security guard shooting the other one. Then the one that was just shot gets up and shoots the first guard. Then one guard shoots out the camera.

"Like I said." He Says

"Anything special about the particular vault they opened?" Sam Asks

"Vault number one is where they keep rare, new acquisitions while they're being examined." He Says

"So what was stolen?" Elena Asks

"That's the kicker -- nothing. The curator, Dr. McElroy, said the vault's been empty for weeks." He Says then he gets called away

"Okay, so, just connecting the dots here -- the Blade was likely put in there when it first got here." Dean Says

"The guards were obviously demons, so... What? When the vault turned out to be empty, they killed
their guard meat-suits and smoked out?" Sam Says

"And reported back to who? Abaddon?" Elena Says

"She's closing in." Sam Says