"Bruce. Tell me you've heard from them." Y/n swerved around the slow moving truck in front of her, staying in the fast lane with her eyes darting back and forth from the road to her messages.

"Y/n, you need to calm down." Bruce said from the other line. "I'm putting your car in auto drive if I see you look down at your screen once more."

"I should've seen it coming." Y/n ignored him. "They exploded the Ukraine facility with us still in it, so why wouldn't they do the same to the others? Fuck."

She gripped onto the steering wheel as her hands got clammy. Another car honked loudly and zipped around her. "Okay, I'm hanging up. No offense, Bruce, but you're really not helping me."

"Wait!" She heard him say promptly. "They're on the Quinjet heading back. Message just came from Tony. He didn't say anything else."

Y/n exhaled slowly. "Alright. Thank you, Bruce."

Bruce quickly hung up, hurrying back to see what else Tony had typed, cursing under his breath at the response.

"Get the medbay ready."

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Y/n didn't remember how. At one point she was driving down the highway, the next she was standing with Bruce in front of the Quinjet landing pad.

"I'm not even gonna ask how much you were driving over the speed limit." Bruce said from beside her.

"How can you be so damn nonchalant about this?" Y/n looked to him in disbelief. "Are you really that desensitized?"

"What good is panicking gonna do?" Bruce chuckled humorlessly to himself. "Definitely wouldn't do me any good."

Y/n's face flared red in embarrassment. "Shit, I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry."

Bruce offered her a sympathetic shrug. "I know you didn't. Besides, we've got more important things to worry about." The Quinjet slowly lowered in front of them and others from the medical team arrived behind Y/n and Bruce.

Nat was the first to exit from the jet as soon as the steel door lowered. Wanda's arm hung over her shoulder as she was guided out of the jet. There was a small gash under her eye and like the others, her face was covered in ash and soot from the explosion.

"Oh my God... Wanda!" Y/n hurried up to the two of them, but Wanda quickly shooed her away. "I'm fine, Y/n. I just got hit with a little debris."

"Y/n." Nat cut in, her voice slightly hoarse. "I've got her. Go get your guy, he's in worse shape."

Y/n's brows furrowed in confusion when her gaze finally drifted past Nat to the entrance of the ship.

She didn't spare Nat another second as she stumbled her way into the jet through the med team who were escorting the rest of the team out of the jet.

"Out of the way!"

Two people were standing on both sides of a stretcher, maneuvering it through the crowd. It was then that she saw the crimson red droplets following their trail.

"No... no no no no."

Bucky had already grabbed ahold of her wrist when she neared the stretcher. "Y/n.."

It was then when her eyes landed on his metal arm, the part that met flesh on his shoulder dampening the cloth compressed over it with blood. "Bucky h-how..." Y/n choked on her words as she shakily hovered her hand over him, not sure where to tend to first. The bottom of his T-shirt was also soaked right through.

"One gunshot isn't enough to take me out, darling." Bucky smirked humorlessly, his voice hoarse and pained. "Those bastards had some kind of weapons I'd never seen before. I think they've been experimenting or something. One minute, I'm taking out a handful of them with Sam. Then there was an explosion and-" Bucky winced slightly when the medic accidentally shifted his grasp on the cloth compressing his wound.

Y/n shook her head. "When will we ever catch a damn break?" She walked with stretcher to the medbay, never letting go of his hand.

"Usually, this kinda thing would already start healing. Since it's this arm, it can't exactly reattach itself on its own." Bucky grumbled, annoyed that he had to be assisted with just about everything, even walking apparently.

"Sorry, Y/l/n. I need you outta the room while we assess everyone's injuries." Bruce told her, offering a sympathetic look. Y/n backed away and nodded, giving Bucky's hand one more reassuring squeeze. "I'll be back as soon as they're done. Promise."

She glanced behind her shoulder, where Wanda was sitting up talking to Vision and laughing. She felt a wave of relief briefly washed over her that everyone had managed to make it back alive.

At least.

Tony and Steve both left with Fury and Maria in a hurry, all four of them tense about the massive bullet the team had dodged.

"So." Nat sighed, standing outside in the hallway. "That could've gone better."

"You're telling me." Sam gestured to the medbay door. "All of us almost got blown up if it weren't for glowy-hands holding off the damn explosion."

"Give her brother some credit too, Wilson." Nat said. "He managed to help those scientists escape in the end."

Y/n's brows furrowed. "Hostage scientists? Not HYDRA scientists?"

"From the looks of it, they've been scraping up whoever they can find to rebuild HYDRA." Sam told her. "They're getting desperate. I think if we can avoid any more traps they throw at us, we can end this shit."

Y/n nodded before blowing out a sigh. "So what's our play? We have no idea how they're making these weapons I've heard about, and who knows what they plan on doing with them."

Nat smirked. "HYDRA always comes back with the same old goal, Y/n. They want to dominate the world with their fascist ideologies and spread their ideals to everyone. For now they'll stay off the grid, then randomly appear out of nowhere to strike fear to the public."

Sam and Y/n shared a glance. "I knew you'd dealt with HYDRA before, but..." Y/n watched as Nat walked past her.

"We just have to be patient. They'll turn up eventually, and we'll be ready." She said before turning the corner.

Y/n and Sam fell into mutual silence, watching through the glass as their friends recovered.

"You know." Sam broke the silence. "I never imagined I'd be living like a college student with a bunch of roommates past my twenties."

Y/n chuckled and nudged his shoulder. "It's fun, though. Plus, you'd always have a room here if you ever did move out."

Sam shook his head and smiled. "Living alone got boring after a while. My sister and my nephews live in Louisiana, and I always offer to move back but..."

"But what?"

"They know that I've got two homes." He shrugged. "I decided that I'll go over every few months and spend time with them."

Y/n pictured it in her head. The idea of having other family or people to reach out to. She remembered Wanda explaining the events that took place after the Vienna attack, how the team was almost torn apart for good.

Where would she go if it were to happen again?

"I'm glad you can still see them then." Was all she said in response, swallowing her negative thoughts.

"I'll bring you one day." Sam said abruptly. Y/n looked up questioningly. "The people are nice, the ocean is right by the neighborhood, and the cookouts... you can't miss them." He smiled knowingly. "I want you to experience it."

Y/n's eyes lit up. "I look forward to it."

♥︎♥︎♥︎

57... 58... 59...

Bucky's eyes grew heavy as he stared up at the ceiling fan blankly, counting each time one of the panels made a full circle. He had given up on his ten minute battle to reach the TV remote that the medic had unknowingly placed completely out of reach on his left side of all places.

Even though he wasn't used to his new modern, fancy room he's been living in for over a year, he suddenly missed it. Steve had even convinced Bruce to make arrangements to have him placed in a private room in the medbay, however the time spent now completely alone he couldn't help but repeat the events of the last twelve hours in his head.

You had one job, shut down their weapon power source, take out the guards on your way.

What Bucky hadn't expected was being thrown four stories down a stairwell from the shock wave of the explosion, with debris flying from every which way.

The thing is, he couldn't remember how his arm was nearly ripped off. His cracked rib was already close to being fully healed, as well as the area on his lower stomach where a bullet had lodged itself into.

A soft knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. He considered ignoring it, expecting Steve to show up with another heartfelt discussion that at this point, was making Bucky's ears bleed. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. He couldn't. Seeing HYDRA again, his teammates almost wiped away, the searing pain that nagged at his side. It was too much.

Instead, Y/n slowly walked in, keeping the massive pile of stuff bundled in her arms as steady as possible before dumping it at the foot of the bed.

"Ice cream?" She held up two tubs of Ben and Jerry's. "Steve told me you like chocolate." 

Bucky sat up, not bothering to fight the grin that made its way on his face. She passed it to him with a spoon as she took a seat in the chair next to his bed and switched on the TV.

"Y/n... I can't-"

"Oh! Duh, I'm sorry."

She scooted the chair close enough to reach him and opened the tub for him, scooping a small amount of the icy treat and offering the spoon to his real arm. "I'm not trying to humiliate you, by the way."

Bucky smiled sympathetically. "You worry too much."

He watched as she looked down sheepishly, turning to switch on Netflix. "Have you ever seen Indiana Jones?"

"What's that?"

"We'll according to Nat, it's still considered one of the best adventure movie series' ever, so I can at least tell you that." She selected Raiders of the Lost Ark and sat back. "We're watching the original Star Wars trilogy after this, by the way. Then you can tell me whether you prefer Indiana or Han Solo."

Bucky felt his eyes grow heavy again. He took a quick glance at his shoulder, clutching it tightly in an attempt to ease the pain.

He looked back up at Y/n and only nodded in response as the wound on his shoulder throbbed under the bandages. He'd been keeping it still, as Bruce instructed, but the serum for once worked against him. His blood rushed to heal the wound, yet there was no way to connect flesh to metal in a natural manner.

"Wait, Y/n." Bucky said. Y/n immediately recognized the pain laced in his words and paused the movie. "Tell me, what is it?"

He hated admitting that he was in pain. Being so vulnerable and limp in front of her. The look on her face reassured him, however. She doesn't see you as weak. She's worried about you.

She's a good person.

"I-I really want to enjoy these movies with you. But I just need... some quiet. I need..."

Y/n felt her breath hitch when Bucky's eyes drifted out of consciousness. It was then that she noticed he'd been clasping onto his shoulder and covering it from view. She moved his hand and felt her knees weaken as blood soaked through the bandages.

"Bucky... no... stay with me." She placed two fingers to the side of his neck, relieved to feel a pulse which she expected to be weak. Instead, it pounded rapidly under her touch. She ran the back of her hand over his forehead and cursed. How could he be burning up after losing so much blood?

"Bruce! Tony! Anybody.." Y/n took off down the hallway, stumbling when she found Bruce and Steve discussing something at the end of the hall. Steve's brows knit together with concern once he noticed Y/n's expression.

"It's Bucky."

Y/n felt her vision turn starry and blurred as she led the two down to his room. She couldn't understand, he'd been fine when she first came in.

Bruce checked Bucky's pulse and examined his wound, quickly turning to the computer behind him. "It's just as I thought. The serum is working too hard to heal the wound, hence his high heart rate with the blood loss. It's not meant to heal these kinds of wounds that attach his arm.

Steve shook his head. "I thought Shuri made it detachable?"

"It is." Bruce nudged Steve to the side to check Bucky's vitals once more. "The site that attaches it was also severed. We need to get him to Wakanda."

"I'll take him." Steve responded immediately.

Y/n was crouched next to him by his bedside, grasping onto his flesh hand. "I'm coming with you."

"Y/n, don't worry. You stay here and-"

"I said I'm coming with you. End of discussion, Steve."

Steve sighed, eventually nodding and following Bruce out of the room. The feeling of her hands holding his, sitting beside him in silence and watching his chest rise and fall from labored breaths.

It was familiar in the worst way imaginable.

"Take care of your mama, Y/n. I'm so proud of you."

"Dad... the ambulance is coming. I won't leave you."

"Don't give away... my records. Don't let anyone sell them, alright? Especially my Thriller album."

"I won't... because you'll still be here to listen to them. Right?"

Except her mother likely found them stashed away at the back of her closet once Y/n was sent away.

"Y/n?"

Her eyes shot up and her grip tightened on Bucky's hand. Thankfully, this wasn't the same as last time.

His eyes had fluttered open slightly, his voice slurred and drowsy. "I thought I heard Steve come in. What's going on?"

She blinked away the awful memory and forced a weak smile. "Buck, your arm just isn't healing and you keep losing blood. Bruce doesn't wanna tamper with Shuri's tech so we're going to Wakanda."

She watched his frown deepen and she shook his hand slightly. "Everything is gonna be okay. Bruce expected this to happen."

Bucky forced himself up with his right elbow but Y/n was quick to stop him. She couldn't stop herself from cupping his face with her hands, which ironically covered his cheeks flushing red under her touch. "I know you won't admit it, Buck. I can't let you strain yourself just to create this illusion that you're not in any pain."

"I'm fine Y/n. I-"

"Bucky." The change in Y/n's voice made him sit back slightly. "I watched you pass out just a few minutes ago and your heart rate skyrocket out of nowhere. I've gotten used to this 'gift' too, you know. Every time I get even something small and stupid like a paper cut, I just expect it to go away in a few seconds. And it does. Even when I see Nat or Sam get hurt in the field, I wish I could somehow share this. I wish I could... give it away entirely."

"Because you don't feel like you deserve it." Bucky finished. Y/n's eyes widened and she looked up. "Ever since Steve got that serum, when I saw him become Captain America and lead the army. It made sense. He was a hero, Y/n. Seeing all those people... those kids just rave and idolize him. If anyone deserved that serum, it was always him. Almost two years living here and I can't bring myself to understand why I have this stuff in me. The same as him. Me."

Y/n frowned and rested her arms at the side of his bed. "Yeah... exactly." Her voice trembled slightly. "But you know... you're not alone anymore." She looked up hopefully.

Bucky's gaze softened, and he pondered her words silently. He'd been an asshole, and it hurt when her gaze longed for his validation. All this time his stubbornness was pushing away the one person who knew exactly what it was like. Maybe she did remember, or maybe she didn't. He'd found someone who understood.

Someone who was plagued with as much guilt as him.

Just from living.

Author's Note

Hey guys, I'm not dead :))) I keep getting comments flooding both of my stories asking for updates, and I understand that I've been taking a long time to update, so I'll just say it here instead of replying to everyone. Grade eleven was awful and exhausting, and having zero free time meant no time for writing. Anyways I'm on summer break now and I'll definitely pick up the pace.