Y/n gripped the edge of the counter with one hand and Bucky's shoulder with the other as she tried to contain her laughter. "There's no way you're being serious right now. Steve?!"

"I promise, I'm not lying." Bucky shook his head vigorously. "He had a whole stash of extra newspapers. He'd ram them in the back of his shoes, and they'd be uneven every.. single.. time."

Y/n burst out laughing as she stared at Steve from across the room, imagining him all small and scrawny.

The empty shot glasses piled up on the counter after a few hours of reckless drinking led to their current state. At this point, time didn't exist. Tony's parties were rumored to never end, and this was proof. Nat had spent the rest of the night with Steve, who had been building up the courage to ask Nat out after having slowly fallen for her. Nat couldn't remember the last time she had felt this happy.

Thor, Steve and Nat occasionally took short glances towards Y/n and Bucky, who were both relying solely on the bar counter to keep themselves from tumbling to the floor.

"What have I done." Thor let out a sigh, running his hand over his face.

"Relax." Nat sipped her drink. "I think it's sweet. I've never seen the two of them so smiley."

"Oh god." Y/n's laughter died down a little, turning into a light chuckle. "Poor guy, you must've felt a little guilty that you got all the ladies."

"A little." Bucky bit his lip, the two suddenly bursting into another fit of laughter.

"I was never allowed to have a boyfriend, thanks to my mom." Y/n told him, tracing her finger around one of the empty glasses. "I wasn't even allowed to bring friends home."

Bucky smirked. "She sounds like a bitch. Sorry!" He added quickly.

She waved her hand. "Don't be. She was, and I still hate that whore, wherever she is. I remember she would hit me with the curling iron still on when she was pissed off. God, that shit burned."

Bucky's expression darkened. "Maybe because it was a curling iron? Why would she do such a thing?"

Y/n shrugged, keeping her eyes fixated on the ground. "I guess she just blamed me for my dad's death. He was shot in the chest. There was some vendetta these thugs had with someone else. They ended up killing the wrong person, they shot him. I was fourteen."

Y/n felt her head throb, the unpleasant memory clouding her thoughts once again. Why was she telling him this? She had never opened up to anyone about this part of her life before. Never this much.

"Y/n... I'm sorry I-"

"No, it's ok Bucky." She turned to him, giving him a weak smile. "It was so long ago anyways."

He shook his head. "We all have our own troubles. Time passing won't erase the fact that they happened."

Y/n slowly felt the the effects of the drink ware off. She ordered for another shot and downed it, letting out a shaky sigh.

"You know what." She laughed dryly. "I don't think either of my parents would even wanna see who I've become today. I mean, the lady was the one who sent me away in the first place. She wanted me out of her sight."

Bucky's eyes grew with concern watching as the laughter escaping her lipstick smudged lips becoming anything but joy.

"Don't say that." He placed two hands on her shoulders tenderly. "Your mother didn't deserve you in the first place."

"I remember it so vividly." She began. "She hadn't left any dinner for me, so she threw me a few dollars to grab something from the gas station. I sat there in the alley eating, without a single care in the world, other than how much I hated my mom and stepdad. I started walking home, and I saw those vehicles. I never knew my life could just crumble apart so quickly. No college, no future."

Bucky hadn't noticed that he had somehow been standing closer to her, leaning his elbow against the granite as he listened intently.

"That look on her face. It was just a look of plain hatred, like she was just waiting for me to finally leave her the hell alone."

Bucky inhaled sharply and took her hand in his. "Y/n you don't have to worry about that hag anymore. It's not like she's up here, partying in fucking Stark tower."

They both shared a laugh, and she nodded. "You have a point."

They fell into another silence, letting the fuzziness of the alcohol consume them into a trance.

"When I first came here." Her voice came out smaller than she anticipated. "I remember feeling so overwhelmed by the atmosphere. Everyone was so... friendly, so embracing and loving."

Bucky tilted his head. "You've never been embraced?"

Y/n smiled weakly. "Not only that..."

"Loved."

"Just genuinely appreciated, I guess."

"Well, that's clearly changed hasn't it." Bucky grinned. "These past few months that I've gotten closer as a friend to you, they've been really special. Nobody else has really treated me like their "buddy" or anything like that, but you've seen me as just another member of the team from the very moment you came here. I truly appreciate that Y/n."

She felt her cheeks grow hot and scarlet, which she prayed that Bucky would play off as the lighting or the effects of the mead.

The bass of the music continued to boom around them, Bucky could tell that the setting was not her cup of tea, and it wasn't his either.

"Come with me." He blurted out, pulling her towards his room. His actions seemed to have a mind of their own. Nobody ever went in his room, except for Steve.

The tension in Y/n's shoulder slowly drifted as they grew further away from the party, the noise dying away.

Bucky pushed the door open and gestured for Y/n to sit down on his couch while he poured her a glass of water. He made his way back to her to find her clutching one of his cushions to her chest and staring blankly at the TV. Bucky couldn't help but linger his eyes on her for a moment. Her simple navy dress, the little high heels that barely rose off the ground. She was breathtaking, and he knew she didn't realize it. 

His sudden weight on the couch caught her attention as she took the glass from his hand, downing the water in one big gulp.

"Safe to say I won't be drinking that Asgardian stuff for a while." She let out a small chuckle.

Bucky offered her a smile, but it quickly faded. "Y/n I'm sorry. You shouldn't have felt like you had to deal with all of that alone."

"If only he knew." She thought to herself. Nat had been trying to do Y/n a favor by telling the team that her HYDRA past no longer affected her memories, however hiding the truth had only been making things worse. If anything, it made her feel even more isolated and alone, having to pretend as if she didn't have nightmares or haunting memories every single day. Truthfully, her mother's neglect towards her was nothing compared to what had happened the last 27 years.

She shook her head, setting the empty glass on the coffee table. "Don't apologize for something you couldn't control. I'm not the only one here with a shitty past."

Before Bucky could continue, she placed her finger on his lips and smiled softly. "Just let it go. We were having so much fun before this."

He nodded. "I just brought us in here because I'm pretty sure neither of us like big parties."

Y/n took a moment to look around his room, taking note of his minimalist decor.

"You should really decorate this place." She laughed. "I mean, it would be so much cozier, given the amount of time you spend in here."

Bucky let out a small chuckle. "I guess I'm not one for fancy decorations."

"Bucky, all you have in here is a flatscreen, a bed, a coffee table and a single picture of you and Steve."

He stopped and took a look around for himself, eventually nodding admittedly. "Yeah, I know."

She took a long gulp of her water and sighed. "It is peaceful though, even if I can still hear that damn music."

Bucky sat back into the couch. "I know. It never used to play this loud in parties and dances. It used to be just high enough for everyone to hear and enjoy it."

Y/n nodded as she listened, still not completely used to the wavering feeling of drunkenness. She kicked her heels off her feet and sighed at the release of the uncomfortable shoes.

"I feel like everyone on the team should get to know you better." Y/n turned to him. "You're a lot of fun to be around."

Bucky's gaze fell to the floor. "It feels like the opposite. I don't do well with people."

She nudged him gently. "I thought you were a ladies man!"

"Was." He mumbled. "That's history now."

She knew he had gone through a great deal, but Y/n had a feeling that the charming Bucky Barnes from the 40s was shoved deep down somewhere in him.

"I'm just saying." She sipped her water. "You're still very dashing." She immediately winced at her choice of words, biting her cheek in embarrassment.

"Wait what?"

"Oh, uh nothing." She spluttered. "I-I was just saying I'm going to bed."

"Right, of course." Bucky chuckled weakly, helping Y/n up off the couch as she stumbled slightly.

He followed her to the door and gently pushed it open for her. She paused before leaving. "Thank you, for listening. And for getting drunk with me for the first time."

A small laugh escaped his lips as he ducked his head shyly. "No it was fun, I'm happy you felt comfortable enough to share something so personal with me."

She made her way across the hall to her own room. She opened her door and entered, poking her head out halfway to throw him one last smile."

"Thanks Buck."

He closed the door and pondered her words. "Did she just call me Buck?"